Post B0ldmB1vWAWCF04H7A by allison@hidamari.apartments
(DIR) More posts by allison@hidamari.apartments
(DIR) Post #B0laWNKlhlB7uAeeNk by nyx@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T09:13:34.595920Z
9 likes, 2 repeats
this is something I'd considered posting as an actual post on my blog but I think that for the sake of addressing things with more immediacy I will simply get my thoughts out here:in the past I've done NNxN mostly because I enjoy doing stupid things for the bit, and also because it's a good motivator to detox from social media for awhile. but this November in particular was about observing what would happen without me being on the instance, because it had become increasingly clear to me that some entropy has set in on xnfm over time due to an influx of new users combined with various fixed ideas :catboy_stirner: of what the instance is supposed to be. this has happened repeatedly over time, and at each point my solution to it has been to take a hard turn and try to incite a new arc for the instance. but it had become increasingly obvious to me over time that the other issue is the instance having a cult of personality around the egregirl known as Nyx Land.on some level I don't mind this and even encourage it, not for the sake of my own ego but as a sort of organizational hack. but it's also still a hack. a system that is too overly top-down and centralized sacrifices resilience and long-term viability for short-term agility, and in the event that I'm ever no longer around, or the instance is no longer around, or if I simply end up not wanting to use social media anymore in general and give the instance over to someone else, I would like fo there to be a resilient culture. more broadly, what matters to me is that the instance allows for people to make connections that they otherwise wouldn't have (with other trannies or in a more abstract sense :xf_lemur:), which means that there should be a culture that can spread beyond the instance itself and lesbovampirically infect broader transfem demographics.but it was clear to me that my own presence here had been developing a degree of libidinal overinvestment that was concealing the deeper systemic rot, and there was a palpable kind of desperation to it. so by removing myself from the instance for the month and quietly sitting back to observe, my plan was to see where things would settle, and from what I've seen there are various lines that have been drawn by different cliques of people with different reasons for being here. some people are here because they're actually invested in the same stuff as me and actually do shit or at least give a shit about being involved in niche alternative spaces on the internet. this comprises most of the users who have been here the longest. then there are people who were previously on fedi and then started making this their main instance, or people who arrived here several degrees of separation from that by people who were already here. this category of user seemingly has ended up here because they have bought into the superficial degenerated images of xnfm, that it's like, the schizo failgirl stoner transbian degenerate instance, or previous that it was the femcel instance, or further back that it was the most evil and scary baeddel instance. who knows what it'll be next! but whatever it is, the instance is not what you think it is; this past month has proven that. whatever image you have of what xnfm is supposed to be isn't what it is.xnfm is first of all nothing more than a space on the internet to publish text. it's sort of like a public utility that I run for myself and allow other people to use because I have the computing resources to spare. the space is only as good as what you use it for, and if you use it like any other social media site to make barely-conscious mimetic posts of shit that you've seen other people posting because you want your posts to get engagement, or if you performatively engage in the discourse of the day because you think that it's really important and you NEED to give your input to get engagement, or if you repost slop meme content from other sites that you didn't make yourself because you want engagement, or if you post self-deprecating sadposts because you want engagement and attention, then the instance will get worse. it's a garbage in, garbage out sorta thing.now you can say in response to this "well what should we be posting" and maybe act like we need to treat the space as a book club, or some other idea you have of what's a productive use of time. but you should instead take the complete opposite approach. before most of you bitches were here, I didn't post on xnfm because I wanted engagement; I posted here because I've had stuff I wanted to put out into a publicly-accessible medium that is short enough for it to not matter if it's particularly polished and can be found again. if you post anything on the internet it should be because no one else other than you is ever going to post it, and if all you have to say is whatever everyone else is saying, maybe you should log the fuck off, detox from the fake internet points crack-cocaine algorithmic IV drip, and start developing an actual ego and sense of self and individuality and whatnot (so that you can then destroy and overcome it).in part I blame myself for a lot of this because I had spent the past several years of my life being in a state of gradual decline and posting through it thinking that it would be ignored and not taken seriously by anyone or have any influence. I had assumed that no longer being on twitter would mean that I could post whatever I want and it wouldn't matter and simply be ignored, and I could continue to exist in my corner of the internet, letting the demons guide my hand for the majority of the time that I didn't feel able to get anything of value done. eventually I had spent enough time in that sort of state to realize that there is nothing to valorize about girlrotting. it's actually a bad thing to wallow in self-pity, to spend the precious time you have on earth passively consooming garbage "content", to get in pointless arguments with people on the internet and making yourself miserable to feel like you're doing something that matters.the trvth is that none of us matter as far as the space is concerned. the only thing that matters is that you are contributing something valuable to this space that cannot exist anywhere else on the internet, and if you're not onboard with that, if you don't want to create a culture of being passionately engaged with cool shit (which can even include shitposting if you're good enough to make it an artform), if you don't want to put in the work consistently and function as a collective rather than as a bunch of accounts on a social media site with "followers", then you are free to leave and I encourage you to.ultimately, none of this shit matters to me. I've been here before all of you and I will be here until I either leave the internet entirely to focus solely on posting stuff to my blog, or until I am no longer materially able to host the instance, or until I'm dead. I live and die by my posts, what the fuck have you ever done? :xf_joker:
(DIR) Post #B0lbhcSZuIblxOEVVI by nyx@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T09:26:49.989903Z
2 likes, 2 repeats
We stand for active ideological struggle because it is the weapon for ensuring unity within the Party and the revolutionary organizations in the interest of our fight. Every Communist and revolutionary should take up this weapon.But liberalism rejects ideological struggle and stands for unprincipled peace, thus giving rise to a decadent, Philistine attitude and bringing about political degeneration in certain units and individuals in the Party and the revolutionary organizations.Liberalism manifests itself in various ways.To let things slide for the sake of peace and friendship when a person has clearly gone wrong, and refrain from principled argument because he is an old acquaintance, a fellow townsman, a schoolmate, a close friend, a loved one, an old colleague or old subordinate. Or to touch on the matter lightly instead of going into it thoroughly, so as to keep on good terms. The result is that both the organization and the individual are harmed. This is one type of liberalism.To indulge in irresponsible criticism in private instead of actively putting forward one's suggestions to the organization. To say nothing to people to their faces but to gossip behind their backs, or to say nothing at a meeting but to gossip afterwards. To show no regard at all for the principles of collective life but to follow one's own inclination. This is a second type.To let things drift if they do not affect one personally; to say as little as possible while knowing perfectly well what is wrong, to be worldly wise and play safe and seek only to avoid blame. This is a third type.Not to obey orders but to give pride of place to one's own opinions. To demand special consideration from the organization but to reject its discipline. This is a fourth type.To indulge in personal attacks, pick quarrels, vent personal spite or seek revenge instead of entering into an argument and struggling against incorrect views for the sake of unity or progress or getting the work done properly. This is a fifth type.To hear incorrect views without rebutting them and even to hear counter-revolutionary remarks without reporting them, but instead to take them calmly as if nothing had happened. This is a sixth type.To be among the masses and fail to conduct propaganda and agitation or speak at meetings or conduct investigations and inquiries among them, and instead to be indifferent to them and show no concern for their well-being, forgetting that one is a Communist and behaving as if one were an ordinary non-Communist. This is a seventh type.To see someone harming the interests of the masses and yet not feel indignant, or dissuade or stop him or reason with him, but to allow him to continue. This is an eighth type.To work half-heartedly without a definite plan or direction; to work perfunctorily and muddle along--"So long as one remains a monk, one goes on tolling the bell." This is a ninth type.To regard oneself as having rendered great service to the revolution, to pride oneself on being a veteran, to disdain minor assignments while being quite unequal to major tasks, to be slipshod in work and slack in study. This is a tenth type.To be aware of one's own mistakes and yet make no attempt to correct them, taking a liberal attitude towards oneself. This is an eleventh type.We could name more. But these eleven are the principal types.They are all manifestations of liberalism.Liberalism is extremely harmful in a revolutionary collective. It is a corrosive which eats away unity, undermines cohesion, causes apathy and creates dissension. It robs the revolutionary ranks of compact organization and strict discipline, prevents policies from being carried through and alienates the Party organizations from the masses which the Party leads. It is an extremely bad tendency.Liberalism stems from petty-bourgeois selfishness, it places personal interests first and the interests of the revolution second, and this gives rise to ideological, political and organizational liberalism.People who are liberals look upon the principles of Marxism as abstract dogma. They approve of Marxism, but are not prepared to practice it or to practice it in full; they are not prepared to replace their liberalism by Marxism. These people have their Marxism, but they have their liberalism as well--they talk Marxism but practice liberalism; they apply Marxism to others but liberalism to themselves. They keep both kinds of goods in stock and find a use for each. This is how the minds of certain people work.Liberalism is a manifestation of opportunism and conflicts fundamentally with Marxism. It is negative and objectively has the effect of helping the enemy; that is why the enemy welcomes its preservation in our midst. Such being its nature, there should be no place for it in the ranks of the revolution.We must use Marxism, which is positive in spirit, to overcome liberalism, which is negative. A Communist should have largeness of mind and he should be staunch and active, looking upon the interests of the revolution as his very life and subordinating his personal interests to those of the revolution; always and everywhere he should adhere to principle and wage a tireless struggle against all incorrect ideas and actions, so as to consolidate the collective life of the Party and strengthen the ties between the Party and the masses; he should be more concerned about the Party and the masses than about any private person, and more concerned about others than about himself. Only thus can he be considered a Communist.All loyal, honest, active and upright Communists must unite to oppose the liberal tendencies shown by certain people among us, and set them on the right path. This is one of the tasks on our ideological front.
(DIR) Post #B0lcj2jXo8VNgePZqa by lanodan@queer.hacktivis.me
2025-11-30T09:38:16.472174Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@nyx > if you post anything on the internet it should be because no one else other than you is ever going to post itReminds me that few times a bunch of years ago I've wanted to experiment building something like an r9k MRF: https://blog.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/Problem is I'd also want to apply it for pictures and oh boy that's a can of worms.
(DIR) Post #B0lcrr3caYzM520Jwe by allison@hidamari.apartments
2025-11-30T09:39:57.950336Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lanodan @nyx a literal /r9k/ would be much too reductive I think, but a *spiritual* /r9k/ would go a long way to solving the various and multifaceted problems people have with communicating and existing on the internet. problem is designing and implementing it.....
(DIR) Post #B0lczWG7ngE7tMVVse by lanodan@queer.hacktivis.me
2025-11-30T09:41:15.818321Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@allison @nyx Well given it's MRF it would be local to a particular instance, so I think it would be fine for it to be reductive, fediverse is gigantic.
(DIR) Post #B0ldmB1vWAWCF04H7A by allison@hidamari.apartments
2025-11-30T09:50:08.640583Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lanodan @nyx my view is less that it would be reductive per se, but that it would be a band aid over the actual problem.
(DIR) Post #B0ldxcShroDOVN3An2 by lanodan@queer.hacktivis.me
2025-11-30T09:52:07.322385Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@allison @nyx Well I'm definitely not taking it as like "put r9k and that's it" you can't change a cultural problem only via tools, they're only there to help.
(DIR) Post #B0leq1Zki91q1zHvYu by coolbean@linfan.moe
2025-11-30T10:02:03.628802Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@nyx i feel somewhat relieved that all i did was doll out, post about ibuprofen and argue about toki pona with salttook the "xnfm aint what it used to" and just used it as an opportunity to self crit about not having anything interesting to post (depression sucks in that way i suppose. nothing interesting to post about but also so socially isolated i dont have anywhere else to yap. i should hop on irc more i think thats probably the more appropriate space)
(DIR) Post #B0lfWiTDcVbTEFaaNE by kittenlikeasmallcat@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T10:07:58.406248Z
3 likes, 1 repeats
@nyx What if this whole two posts was the default text in the post box instead of Just landed in L.A.
(DIR) Post #B0lfl4ysirkl6BFRI0 by voidandnil@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T10:10:07.759812Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@kittenlikeasmallcat @nyx realistically it should've always said "Just landed in Nyx Land" but our sysadmin has no fucking joy in her heart!!!!!!!
(DIR) Post #B0lfl6LFfBF1JqionQ by kittenlikeasmallcat@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T10:11:53.665838Z
2 likes, 2 repeats
@voidandnil @nyx Just nyxlanded in ${geolocation of user's ip address}
(DIR) Post #B0lg10XP0gpBx3zRcu by voidandnil@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T10:12:28.010997Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@kittenlikeasmallcat @nyx i fear this would make our most paranoid schizo users more paranoid schizo
(DIR) Post #B0lgxkcHqekDesHlsO by ochotona_princeps@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T10:21:47.465949Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@voidandnil @kittenlikeasmallcat @nyx nyx please make slop filter to soykaf :(
(DIR) Post #B0lgxmDXtc8scij2ae by nyx@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T10:25:45.110186Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@ochotona_princeps @voidandnil @kittenlikeasmallcat oh that's a good idea. done
(DIR) Post #B0lh37P0Ygz9m7dMuW by nuukaset@netzsphaere.xyz
2025-11-30T10:26:50.436362Z
3 likes, 1 repeats
@ochotona_princeps @kittenlikeasmallcat @nyx @voidandnil stop spill the fuarking soykaf
(DIR) Post #B0lxya2QMXaqMOUam0 by dot@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T13:36:29.860633Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@nyx we've long been of the opinion that UX is a significant driving force in how people use software, and that the microblog's low-friction experience is itself a large driver in how users engage with a space like xnfm. even despite having a generous character limit, pleroma itself is fucking suck at delivering long posts to readers in a way that keeps them engaging. it can't do anything good that a blog can, posting whatever comes to mind is extremely easy, uploading memes is easy, and hitting ⭐ and 🔁 on shit that makes you laugh is very, very easy. it's a constant deluge of shit spewing out with the hard path of actually engaging being obscured by fake engagement soykaf features. and, of course, none of this is your fault. pleroma fucking sucks, as does mastodon and all the other fedi software. when a site is designed to be like twitter, what you get is twitterthat said,we're also of the opinion that shitposting is the single best way to quickly iterate on ideas. on our other fedi accounts, these shitposts tend to precipitate actual blog posts or other meaningful action, but because we (intentionally) do not have a blog presence linked here (and it's not gonna happen) nor do we have projects linked here, the best our own posts can do is inspire the girlies to engage in interesting ways that push one another forward. idk if that's what's been happening thoughanyway.all that is to say, i don't think the space is going to meaningfully move beyond being a website without drastic changes to The Structure underpinning it all. xenofem.me is its own reflection.
(DIR) Post #B0mH6ZT6GMlU2TUfVw by morrigan@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T16:26:33.290231Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@dot @nyx some days i deadass think that mailing lists may have been the best form of online coordination
(DIR) Post #B0mH8VRqBJ3k9JpMDA by dot@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T17:11:11.129526Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@morrigan @nyx the more asynchronous, the better
(DIR) Post #B0mHhY8UBDjgcYU5EO by Erato_Heti@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T16:50:20.131527Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@nyx you say that you should post brief snippets of the scrapyard thoughts you found. as if dumpster diving and finding the gems you would never find. and then you go and post a 4000 words essay on the state of things. a simple woman would call that a contradiction. i see that instead as having a complicated and unwieldy mind.
(DIR) Post #B0mLllO5FiRch92q0G by Mondobizarrro@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T18:03:05.111755Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ochotona_princeps @kittenlikeasmallcat @nyx i was wondering why my post said soykaf. what the fuck does that even fucking mean
(DIR) Post #B0mNKN6TdDVvT8sMBE by meltedbrain_y2k@social.xenofem.me
2025-11-30T17:07:16.134103Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
This was the push I needed to finally kick off the xitter relapse, I find myself just reacting to soykaf and sluggish in thought. Idk if I'll ever be able to contribute anything menaningful but I do not wish to be parasited by the soykaf boosting algorithm anymore. I've found the insta accounts of the local businesses whose info was the only reason I still really needed "X" anyway, and I'm too ugly and weird to use instagram beyond what's strictly needed anyway.