Post B05sIZ4DCxtFls7cWW by futurebird@sauropods.win
(DIR) More posts by futurebird@sauropods.win
(DIR) Post #B05QmpWbmiEwmm30Ai by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-09T00:26:59Z
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"The Spiders to Worry About"1. Agatha: lives in a small town in upstate NY in the canoe shed of a summer camp. She is a massive fishing spider and doesn't understand how shocking this can be.2. Ricardo: Never listened to his mom when she taught them about good web sites. He wants to build one across your front door. Otherwise harmless. 3. Lilly: A tiny harmless spider who is NOT good at "ballooning" she WILL end up in your beer. If you see her shout "pull the line in!"I think that's it.
(DIR) Post #B05QmqUADHsXlTuZ04 by heathen_cat@furs.social
2025-11-09T02:55:48Z
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@futurebird I think Ricardo's entire frat has moved into my house. I understand if they do manage to catch one of us they will eat like kings for a long time, but it's still disconcerting to find most of the exits webbed. I don't know how to explain to them that the car isn't edible and it might be a waste of energy to keep webbing the garage doors.
(DIR) Post #B05QmwtCP7TBcrfdr6 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-09T00:31:31Z
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"Agatha. You are the size of an apple and no one wants to see that in a dark shed. Please don't come out of the floor to 'say hi'"
(DIR) Post #B05QmxBHJtvoWw852G by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-09T00:30:17Z
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"Pull it in, Lilly! PULL! Oh no."
(DIR) Post #B05bZJsdE8LQN96oe8 by sashin@veganism.social
2025-11-09T05:16:54Z
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@futurebird oh Agatha still up and about I see
(DIR) Post #B05buUYUjROlYumm36 by farah@beige.party
2025-11-09T05:22:00Z
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@futurebird Should I mention the book again?
(DIR) Post #B05hbDjHfLCpbH1gXo by australopithecus@mastodon.social
2025-11-09T06:10:04Z
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@futurebird Look, Ricardo, this is an intervention; we're all worried about you.
(DIR) Post #B05i4oZTlegiGFYGWW by Gupperduck@mastodon.social
2025-11-09T07:52:53Z
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@futurebirdShout out to Harry the Huntsman who enjoys hiding between the sun visor and car roof, ready to add a shot of adrenaline to an otherwise mundane day.
(DIR) Post #B05rWvdA0ud9qpkosa by frog@frogdrool.net
2025-11-09T00:30:05Z
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@futurebird #2 Also won’t take a hint when I walk through their web every morning. I guess I won’t either. Maybe they’re just ambitious.
(DIR) Post #B05sCQKKn3P2vXjcG0 by platypus@glammr.us
2025-11-09T00:32:16Z
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@futurebird boosting this and praying my big set of Aussie followers don’t see
(DIR) Post #B05sCRTwUogOVdEns8 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-09T00:33:25Z
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@platypus We'd need to add "Larry" who is a funnel web lad and just looking for love... and therefore wandering around.
(DIR) Post #B05sIXjGBNXJcbJNE8 by bitsnpieces@mastodon.social
2025-11-09T00:53:51Z
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@futurebird My wife says they're all named, "KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!"
(DIR) Post #B05sIZ4DCxtFls7cWW by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-09T00:54:10Z
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@bitsnpieces :(nooo
(DIR) Post #B05wNKsNnQSL1X7Su8 by david_chisnall@infosec.exchange
2025-11-09T10:07:13Z
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@futurebird We have a harmless Ricardo, who insists that the downstairs bathroom (which has no windows, little airflow, and is the place in the house least likely to contain insects) is the best place for his webs. They bother us, but he keeps looking forlornly at the sink whenever we’re there in case we have food. I can’t persuade him to go elsewhere.
(DIR) Post #B0626X1LzMidUYgaJ6 by jmax@mastodon.social
2025-11-09T00:59:40Z
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@futurebird @platypus Which just gets him a reputation as shiftless and unreliable among the other spiders.
(DIR) Post #B065D0EOb8WzgbYzqq by pussreboots@sfba.social
2025-11-09T00:38:46Z
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@futurebird OK... but Agatha reminds me of a many a nice tarantula I've met. She doesn't seem scary at all.
(DIR) Post #B065D12jZynUCj7CJU by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-09T00:41:57Z
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@pussreboots Tarantulas never suddenly sprint like Agatha giving you a heart attack.
(DIR) Post #B065D1iv38XcJYqt4C by pussreboots@sfba.social
2025-11-09T00:43:02Z
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@futurebird OK. Fair. But I think I would have my camera out right quick to take photos of her sprinting. (I have many many spider photos)
(DIR) Post #B065s3Mtq4WnHy7DwO by log@mastodon.sdf.org
2025-11-09T02:25:57Z
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@futurebird (Scot accent) Spet et oot, Lelly! Tha's *my* beer!
(DIR) Post #B066DL2JLSNcAMdQ6y by rk@mastodon.well.com
2025-11-09T02:49:47Z
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@futurebird Me, grabbing Lilly: Spit it out! It’s mine!!
(DIR) Post #B068bZiwaX1GZrGESG by CryogenicIce9@mastodon.online
2025-11-09T03:43:13Z
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@futurebird Also, I suspect anyone that has ever spent any time on a building site, should know to ALWAYS be vigilant whenever around any hydraulic machinary - spiders included
(DIR) Post #B068oCFbAln5XaYLvE by bitsnpieces@mastodon.social
2025-11-09T00:56:44Z
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@futurebird I've TRIED pointing out the size differential between her and spiders to no avail.
(DIR) Post #B06Bs8b3042bEF9lGy by glasspusher@beige.party
2025-11-09T00:52:14Z
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@futurebird will there be an Australian version
(DIR) Post #B06E5cYz5zCbqFkTU8 by Tooden@aus.social
2025-11-09T02:48:59Z
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@futurebird And Rosie, the Redback. She builds a teensy web, and lurks under the lips of plant pots, in the crevices of brick walls, and in dark sheds. Her baby girls can be quite vicious. @platypus
(DIR) Post #B06J8NED4DNSv8ABkW by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-11-09T03:25:02Z
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@log **spider drinks faster***
(DIR) Post #B06J9jhWzyk8uOWn7A by CryogenicIce9@mastodon.online
2025-11-09T03:28:56Z
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@futurebird We had a regular appearance cellar spider in our bathroom (the vent is broken, so they come and go via the big pipe inside the vent), who was absolutely awful at anchoring whenever she went walkabout, and would regularly forget, then walk close to the active shower and get blown off the wall or ceiling.Sadly a few weeks ago I turned on the shower to see her corpse wash out from under the bathmat, so she's anchoring in spider-heaven now.