Post Azc0LYPqhKxFlHntc8 by Oma_Trisha_F@mastodon.social
(DIR) More posts by Oma_Trisha_F@mastodon.social
(DIR) Post #AzbmSVwyrg1Ymdj33o by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-26T17:48:11Z
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It's easy to forget that there are many different experiences of loneliness.There is a person who goes on dates, goes to parties and has friends at work, who hangs out with their "mates" from school but they are VERY lonely.There is a person who lives alone, mostly talks to people online calls their folks every other month and maybe hangs out with their friend IRL 5 times a year. They are not lonely. They are worried you noticed this and are going to ... suggest things to them.
(DIR) Post #Azbmj1V3Ke7xGYXChE by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-26T17:51:10Z
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I do think it would be strange not to be lonely at all when living on your own for the first time, especially in a new place. This is made worse by people who do this being in their early 20s and only having hazy notions of what "not lonely" might look like for them.I don't think awkward, introverted people are more likely to be lonely (hot take) though they may wast more time trying things meant for extroverts that will never work.
(DIR) Post #AzbnDvxfyPTd4Af7Jo by amcewen@mastodon.me.uk
2025-10-26T17:56:38Z
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@futurebird "they call us lonely when we're really just alone" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B2Sc2G_5ZA
(DIR) Post #Azbq7fprJgnHB2iEJE by cptbutton@dice.camp
2025-10-26T18:29:11Z
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@futurebird Back in the 70s George RR Martin wrote a story "The Second Kind of Loneliness" about this. And about a lighthouse keeper in space.
(DIR) Post #AzbqWPdqf4f8C0tIYq by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-26T18:33:41Z
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@stephaniepixie @SunnJax @dillyd I think about the young men who buy into a very particular (and narrow) version of dating culture who "discover" going to the kind of bars where people just hook up and using hook up apps has left them feeling like women just want them for their money (and this is bad news since they don't have any)...or the young women who frequent the same spaces who think all men are beasts who just want to use your body and leave. But...they went to the place for that?
(DIR) Post #AzbqvEj2NwGBZm9foe by IanMoore3000@mastodon.ie
2025-10-26T18:38:08Z
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@futurebird @stephaniepixie @SunnJax @dillyd I have for many years now been reading about these mysterious places, but no one has ever told me where they are.
(DIR) Post #Azbr3Kz10FJvIhUWPo by llewelly@sauropods.win
2025-10-26T18:39:37Z
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@futurebird @stephaniepixie @SunnJax @dillyd unlike an LDS singles ward it doesn't comfort you with the delusion you're there for some totally different and morally opposite reason
(DIR) Post #AzbrUicNEm8CQBxPrk by farah@beige.party
2025-10-26T18:44:33Z
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@futurebird I feel this in my bones
(DIR) Post #Azbw6CHoIGiEy2SvBo by JoBlakely@mastodon.social
2025-10-26T19:36:09Z
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@futurebird being alone is not the same as being lonely.
(DIR) Post #AzbwdQQCl9RYMcEiH2 by CStamp@mastodon.social
2025-10-26T19:42:09Z
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@futurebird I loved living on my own. When I wanted company, I'd invite folk over and cook for them. :)
(DIR) Post #AzbytqmCjxzgdxUDGC by CliftonR@wandering.shop
2025-10-26T20:07:31Z
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@futurebird A long time ago, a friendly online acquaintance was browbeating himself about not having a lover or enough friends. I replied among other things, "Alone is not the same as lonely" and then largely forgot about the conversation.Around 5 years later, he messaged me to say that sentence had completely changed his life for the better. I was astounded. I'd just happened to tell him that at the right time for him.I hope yours also reaches someone who is at the right time to hear it.
(DIR) Post #Azc0LYPqhKxFlHntc8 by Oma_Trisha_F@mastodon.social
2025-10-26T20:23:43Z
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@futurebird Although they can co-exist, choosing to live alone isn't the same as loneliness. Loneliness is a sense of sadness and disconnection.
(DIR) Post #Azc2648nB4yFQhZH6m by ai6yr@m.ai6yr.org
2025-10-26T20:43:17Z
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@futurebird Introversion is NOT loneliness. That said, I'd rather be lonely than forced to do extrovert stuff. (Although I slide along back and forth on how much either way at any time).
(DIR) Post #Azc2GdO0zTKxdajBGy by TerryHancock@realsocial.life
2025-10-26T20:45:14Z
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@futurebird Yeah. I'm pretty comfortable keeping my own company most of the time, but even I do like to get out and be with people sometimes.I often like to be in a public place, but just for the "walla" and the feeling of being out. Not actually to talk to anyone. :raccoon_cool:
(DIR) Post #Azc36aeMPRH2D29DRA by TerryHancock@realsocial.life
2025-10-26T20:51:01Z
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@dillyd @stephaniepixie @SunnJax @futurebird I did often get the feeling that the extroverts were suffering terribly during the CoViD isolation stuff.Personally, I found it quite calming a lot of the time, and just a teeny bit guilty about that... 😅 But then, I'm in the country and had quite a bit of nature to walk around in. Being in a small apartment in the city would've been rough.
(DIR) Post #Azc36cISHqwLJfukZU by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-26T20:54:39Z
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@TerryHancock @dillyd @stephaniepixie @SunnJax I was in a small apartment and felt much the same as you. Though. We have, like, parks and stuff. There's a whole river right over there! You can grill and watch the boats.
(DIR) Post #Azc8POCDR7lUrBlar2 by lethe@digitalcourage.social
2025-10-26T21:54:03Z
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@futurebird Since I love recommending books, I'll drop this here for everyone who might see it:"Loneliness" by John T. Cacioppo and William PatrickI would say that, for me personally, it's the most important book I've ever read and it profoundly changed how I view human nature.
(DIR) Post #Azc8mZVjXCDYbqwyHY by samiamsam@mastodon.social
2025-10-26T21:58:16Z
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@futurebird Facti am perfectly fine on my own and not lonelyi'm miserable when i try to live with someone and that is when i've felt lonely
(DIR) Post #Azc98uKcntH5YTP9km by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-26T22:02:20Z
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@neia I wrote a micro fiction about a lonely ant:https://sauropods.win/@loren@flipping.rocks/113732610155788227
(DIR) Post #AzcB7KQP1Dk1oKTwW0 by mllsc@beige.party
2025-10-26T22:24:23Z
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@futurebird agree. Introverts and people who like alone time get a lot of airtime in these kinds of threads so I'll add my two cents: I've struggled to make more friends as an adult, and my close friends for many years have scattered geographically. I am painfully lonely pretty much all the time. Anything is more fun when I'm doing it with people I like, but without third spaces I can socialize in, I have to rely on "events" and "meetups" which are inconvenient, difficult, and often unhelpful for making lasting connections. I fear the lack of socialization is slowly killing me.I guess I'm not adding much, cause this is a very traditional sense of loneliness. But we are out there too.
(DIR) Post #AzcTnebACc9xiPqaqe by smathermather@mapstodon.space
2025-10-27T01:53:46Z
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@futurebird @stephaniepixie @SunnJax @dillyd haven't read yet myself but highly recommended book on the topic: https://lisa-wade.com/american-hookup/
(DIR) Post #Azd3ZoJYsVce93JQo4 by glasspusher@beige.party
2025-10-27T08:34:37Z
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@futurebird wahat about people in late middle age who have moved to a new place and are living alone (with their two cats) and trying to build a new life? Uh, asking for a friend…Good post
(DIR) Post #AzdDXOha8K5Hfh2HEO by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-27T10:26:17Z
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@AmyIsCoolz @TerryHancock @SunnJax @stephaniepixie @dillyd That sound horrible and it was very hard for me to understand this problem. Which is good to be aware of. When I've had mandatory open ended social events in my life it was like this.