Post Aykc2eQFLlkxTpPfea by cakemonster@hear-me.social
(DIR) More posts by cakemonster@hear-me.social
(DIR) Post #AykavsdbzyqxaUs8Ui by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-01T01:59:20Z
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It might be tempting to think that "it's easier to have kids in your 20s and early 30s than later" is just something annoying relatives who want nephews and grandkids without doing all the hard work say, or worse something the creepiest men on the internet say just before demanding child marriage be legalized.But, it's also kind of true. If you want to have kids don't dwaddle if possible. IVF is no fun. It sucks. Stop trying to own a house and have the perfect job before you have kids.
(DIR) Post #Aykb493ArVWQo2lmQC by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-01T02:00:48Z
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That is IF you want kids.Obviously. But if you do that's kind of awesome and yes I'm the annoying person who wants to be an aunt of everyone.
(DIR) Post #AykbDeWdCw3h1y57bs by GeePawHill@mastodon.social
2025-10-01T02:02:30Z
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@futurebird *Super* complicated question. I have no children of my own, tho many many grandchildren. I'd've been a terrible parent. I'm pretty good at geepaw'ing tho.
(DIR) Post #AykbFrfvHttUOSTyc4 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-01T02:02:57Z
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You won't be the perfect parent. No one will be. You better try but that is all you can do.
(DIR) Post #AykbiJ66vRNxYDIHhI by catmisgivings@stranger.social
2025-10-01T02:08:03Z
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@futurebird I had the short version of this conversation with a friend recentlyHe claimed he had his kid "too" early (in a financial context) but he's always talking about how run down he feels now compared to his 20s, so I parried with the energy thing
(DIR) Post #Aykc2eQFLlkxTpPfea by cakemonster@hear-me.social
2025-10-01T02:11:41Z
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@futurebird I'm good being child free, would rather own a house ngl.
(DIR) Post #Aykc3P87gyBaLEIMQi by nathanlovestrees@disabled.social
2025-10-01T02:11:45Z
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@futurebird had my son (nearly 6) at 33 after 7+ years of ‘unexplained infertility.’ Glad I was ‘older’ when he was born, constantly wish I had the physical resilience of being in my 20s
(DIR) Post #Aykf0ML5uZNEgCbNx2 by NickGates@friendsofdesoto.social
2025-10-01T02:44:55Z
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@futurebird my son was born when I was 42. It's nice that I have stability, but I get p tired. Wish I could have been a parent earlier.
(DIR) Post #Aykphwo1CkMnlwYPya by not2b@sfba.social
2025-10-01T04:44:50Z
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@futurebird I was 40 and my wife was 39 when our only kid was born. We had been trying for a while and there was a miscarriage a couple of years earlier, but it finally worked without resorting to IVF. So we were the mature parents.
(DIR) Post #Aykq50SVmwqPlLUQzI by dawngreeter@dice.camp
2025-10-01T04:49:00Z
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@futurebird Counterpoint: have kids, if you want kids, when you want them. Other people's life experiences are not yours.
(DIR) Post #Ayl9fd7lPJLjEdxiNc by sewblue@sfba.social
2025-10-01T08:28:31Z
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@futurebird Kids suck up mental energy in a way that is hard to fathom.Have them when you are young, you basically have to stop focusing on yourself and your own development. It's rare to able to do both. Energy vs emotional maturity. It's a trade off.
(DIR) Post #AylPMFpNOid2kM91NI by eseubert@mstdn.science
2025-10-01T05:07:12Z
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@futurebird I'm an older parent and would recommend it. It's when I was ready. Both kids born after my 35th birthday and they're 5 years apart. Fun fact all the literature from decades ago on increased birth defects with increasing maternal age was found to be bullshit. (When you correct for the n, the difference is insignificant) Same is being found for fertility. Remember when we were told we're born with all the eggs we'll ever have? Yeah that was wrong...
(DIR) Post #AylPMHB2NfY8vpHpmC by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-01T11:24:16Z
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@eseubert You are so very right. The “pro natalist” crowd has created a miasma of nonsense and misinformation— exploiting deep fears that are often connected to racism, sexism and ableism. But, at the heart of that cloud is the kernel of truth: A community without children has no future. A community where people give up on having kids is a sign of a deeper pessimism.
(DIR) Post #AylQAWvs4otIH89ikK by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-10-01T11:33:23Z
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@eseubert I worry about young and ambitious people I know who bring a kind of perfectionism to having kids— when it’s just one of the many ways to rejoice in being a living creature in the world. I worry that since there isn’t reason to talk about people’s personal choices outside of very crazy right wing spaces you don’t hear anything but some depressing calculations about “the carbon footprint of having kids” Isn’t that what we were saving up all the other carbon for?
(DIR) Post #AylTLBnzGcS3nZF5lo by fritzoids@mas.to
2025-10-01T12:08:53Z
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@futurebird @eseubert which is why I appreciate the child-free-by-choice people who are still interested in having children in their lives. The tías and tíos that are also important in showing children that there are other ways of being a happy adult than the way their parents are.
(DIR) Post #AylUcqBoTLaDvQMqTQ by Writch@pagan.plus
2025-10-01T12:23:19Z
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@futurebird I'm grappling with the likelihood that I won't be able to have kids. I'm in my late thirties and I've been waiting all this time for the world to get better. And it just got worse. I don't know how I'm supposed to take that as anything but a sign that I'm just... not meant to have a kid. Despite the fact that I want one.
(DIR) Post #AylZX7iiscA2KTr0O8 by cakemonster@hear-me.social
2025-10-01T13:18:18Z
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@futurebird @eseubert yeah the economy never recovered after 2008, the recession has been a slow bubble artificially hidden by financialization, the job market sucks, I'm not dooming children to a miserable life because I have the urge to procreate. You're right a lot of us have given up. If I don't have stable housing how can I have kids? Owning a house/condo is the only way I would ever have a kid. I feel if we set that standard something will be done about landlords.
(DIR) Post #AylgmAqqDkI23wm6qG by 20000lbs_of_Cheese@freeradical.zone
2025-10-01T14:39:27Z
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@futurebirdNah, I got sterilized, easier to not have them at all! Plenty of kids already, we just need to actually feed, house, and educate them, I'm adding nothing to the world by reproducing.Besides I'm never gonna afford a house either way!And yeah, saying this stuff is usually a huge creepy red flag, you're right.