Post Ax8wcS1gXDS35bncZ6 by Tattie@eldritch.cafe
 (DIR) More posts by Tattie@eldritch.cafe
 (DIR) Post #Ax8wcS1gXDS35bncZ6 by Tattie@eldritch.cafe
       2025-08-14T00:03:03Z
       
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       My wife should have been 44 today.Less than two years gone, and I'm alone with my grief. No messages of remembrance or condolence from friends who knew her, from my family.They can't have forgotten the date, surely. Maybe they don't grieve as I grieve. They face the pain with some sort of Protestant reservation. Quietly. Alone.Fuck that.
       
 (DIR) Post #Ax8wcTCMB1a8izneq0 by shalien@mastodon.projetretro.io
       2025-08-14T00:11:09Z
       
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       @Tattie For auld lang syne...
       
 (DIR) Post #Ax8wcaK3gmtyouSPJY by Tattie@eldritch.cafe
       2025-08-14T00:03:50Z
       
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       After she died I gave a funeral speech in front of everyone. Heartfelt, emotional, soul-baring. People remarked on how powerful it was, and how strong I was. And I was strong, and it was powerful.But the manner of it was still far too controlled for my liking. Too processed, too linguistic. Too colonial. Too patriarchal.
       
 (DIR) Post #Ax8wcjNvzkLkvXL86a by Tattie@eldritch.cafe
       2025-08-14T00:04:39Z
       
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       Today I lit a candle for her, I stood in an empty house, and I grieved as I felt I should have in the first place. The same way my foremothers did. I stood there, flung my head back, and wailed.It took me a few attempts, even alone. Because proper keening like this cannot be done half-heartedly, at respectable volume. It can only be done if you let go of your restraint and let the emotion take you.
       
 (DIR) Post #Ax8wcrnkhdkt1vTrSS by Tattie@eldritch.cafe
       2025-08-14T00:05:10Z
       
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       I wailed, I sobbed, I raged. Alone, because there was nobody there to do it with me. But even alone, it had great power.Power enough to summon her. And we walked, together, and talked. And I told her things, and she told me things. Things of deep personal significance that she'd never dared to say when she was alive.
       
 (DIR) Post #Ax8wd06TptUOmKIvlA by Tattie@eldritch.cafe
       2025-08-14T00:05:33Z
       
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       Human emotion is a source of deep magic that we lock away in cages of respectability. Grief, in particular, is a path to normally inaccessible ways of seeing; to profound personal truth.That's precisely why the patriarchs stopped us sharing it with one another.