Post AvWyyog5oQhu72DeCW by ApostateEnglishman@mastodon.world
(DIR) More posts by ApostateEnglishman@mastodon.world
(DIR) Post #AvWxxelL5m5L7IYXhY by hosford42@techhub.social
2025-06-26T18:31:57Z
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@MissConstrue @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic I posted about it a few weeks ago, I think. Can't remember if I included the link. I'll have to check for it later when I've got less going on.
(DIR) Post #AvWxyH1GqzPLliInoG by hosford42@techhub.social
2025-06-24T22:40:35Z
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Confrontation, even online, makes me physically ill. I hate it.@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic
(DIR) Post #AvWxyN2YT804RQwue0 by hosford42@techhub.social
2025-06-25T00:00:07Z
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@actuallyautistic I did not need this today. Just had to block someone I formerly followed, and they even turned ableist on me when I mentioned I'm autistic, claiming I was "hiding behind" it.I've already had enough from dealing with my doctor's office betraying me and having someone from the office talk over me and insinuate in an already very stressful phone call that I "just" had a cough and therefore didn't need to take off work for the last *month*. (Yeah, I told them during all 4-5 visits that it was more than that, coughing till I couldn't catch my breath, severe fatigue, brain fog, disrupted sleep. But did they write that down in their notes? Of course not.)I'm this close to a full-on meltdown.
(DIR) Post #AvWxyfAJ52tcegiME4 by jeanoappleseed@social.vivaldi.net
2025-06-24T23:23:01Z
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@hosford42 I hate confrontations but often am involved in them. I’ve been trying to avoid them more in recent years which is why I take my dog with me. It helps me deflect my attention away from the people around me and to my dog instead. People make more room for me. I hardly look at other people. Aka lot fewer opportunities for things to go wrong interpersonally. @actuallyautistic
(DIR) Post #AvWxzaAd8W1VSCIv8y by hosford42@techhub.social
2025-06-24T23:25:43Z
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@jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Sometimes I feel like it actively seeks me out. It's like I'm a lightning rod. I think people perceive me as an easy target. I'm not, but I really do hate the experience, so I suffer for it anyway.
(DIR) Post #AvWy0f9u4kFhDLTmoS by Uair@autistics.life
2025-06-24T23:35:38Z
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@hosford42 @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic We're definitely targets. Whatever it is about being autistic the playground bullies can spot generally sticks around life long.I got enough of my grandfather's genes I do OK in confrontation. He ran Ventnor, a moderately rough town, back in the days before every dipshit carried a gun. He could crush a steel beer can between his palms.I refuse to drink in bars not just because I can't afford it, but because I'd be too good at violence and, being a grown-up, I go around it. I get the dumb punk with his pecker up coming at me, same as you. Thing is, if I had the right amount of beer in me, the first shot would be me glassing him in the face with a pint beer glass. Neither of us need that. He'd rather continue to have eyeballs and I'd prefer to stay out of prison.So I drink alone, with George Thorogood. I party by myself with the Hollywood Undead.
(DIR) Post #AvWy3btafEwFxkFqIC by MissGayle@urbanists.social
2025-06-25T01:05:53Z
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@Uair @hosford42 @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Yep, it's that "stamp of strangeness" that neurodivergent kids can't see but everybody else can. It never goes away. Mitigated, somewhat, but never eradicated. [A quote from the book Dune, where Paul says the Reverend Mother put one on him.]
(DIR) Post #AvWy46GJlIwa8v7Psm by pathfinder@beige.party
2025-06-25T01:16:39Z
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@MissGayle @Uair @hosford42 @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic The uncanny valley effect.
(DIR) Post #AvWy4Ks3RnRrS0ske8 by EVDHmn@ecoevo.social
2025-06-25T01:21:43Z
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@pathfinder @MissGayle @Uair @hosford42 @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Im so bad I generally miss the uncanny valley for years?
(DIR) Post #AvWy4d2HuUKTmxoB60 by pathfinder@beige.party
2025-06-25T01:31:02Z
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@EVDHmn @MissGayle @Uair @hosford42 @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic It's always there, just mostly subconscious.
(DIR) Post #AvWy529aWU1VgqPrRg by hosford42@techhub.social
2025-06-25T01:41:34Z
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@pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @Uair @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic I often got harrassed for being LGBTQ even though I'm cishet. I think they sensed something different about me and just projected it onto their pet bigotry.(Growing up in Texas in the '80s and '90s, it was downright dangerous to be labeled as gay. I witnessed a guy who got lynched at a party for just the rumor of it. I cannot begin to describe how fucked up that situation was, and I'm sure he is way more fucked up about it than I am, even though it still disturbs me to this day.)
(DIR) Post #AvWy6eDySiwy3PEmAK by skiles@carhenge.club
2025-06-25T01:46:40Z
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@hosford42 @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @Uair @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic This is familiar. I get harassed so much for the perception that I am gay that it prompted me to start to identify myself as genderqueer. Like the harassers must be picking up on *something* right? And perhaps I should give that thing a name? But maybe the thing is just general strangeness.
(DIR) Post #AvWy7MWxjUHbT2SYs4 by Uair@autistics.life
2025-06-25T01:48:50Z
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@skiles @hosford42 @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic I think it's part and parcel with the autism. Gender is a social construct. It can mean radically different things in different times and places. Autistic people have a poor connection to that layer of the brain; the pack animal layer than handles social reinforcement.I was in college before I found out it's "inappropriate" for men to sit down to pee. I always brought my book in as a kid.
(DIR) Post #AvWy7oFYfmzxRAX3dA by hosford42@techhub.social
2025-06-25T01:59:22Z
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@Uair @skiles @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Yeah, I remember getting lectured by my mom for walking the "wrong" way.
(DIR) Post #AvWy9eP4FmLFTfrGHQ by jeanoappleseed@social.vivaldi.net
2025-06-25T22:09:43Z
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@hosford42 My Dad was relentless. He did not want me to be different or at least not show it. I did everything wrong and for the first 18 years of my life, he was relentless, especially that he himself hid his disabilities (physical, from polio at age 2). I was on a high speed train to low self esteem. And it worked. @Uair @skiles @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @actuallyautistic
(DIR) Post #AvWyAEHAsbQ0jcRSyW by hosford42@techhub.social
2025-06-26T18:16:08Z
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@jeanoappleseed@actuallyautistic Complete left turn here. My dad was also a polio survivor, which is a pretty unusual coincidence by itself, before throwing in the fact that you and I are both autistic. Based on research I've read, there may be a link between serious immune challenges in parents and autism in their offspring, via DNA methylation. I wonder what the autism prevalence is among the offspring of polio survivors.#polio#PolioSurvivor#autism #ActuallyAutistic
(DIR) Post #AvWygDAgWRUWZjemfY by jeanoappleseed@social.vivaldi.net
2025-06-26T02:23:18Z
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@igrok I think people ask “How are you” because it’s protocol. They could not care less how you really are. It’s like Hi. It’s not satiation, it’s laziness and simply not caring. Very few people want to hear about what’s really going on in another person’s life. Autistic people not only take it literally until they know better. Autism being a disability that affects every moment of our day while out among neurotypical, many autists struggle all day long so when asked how we’re doing, there is a lot of material to cover but far too much for the low average attention span or the low level of empathy a lot of people have for others. It’s just sloppy. If non disabled people truly cared for the disabled, they would show it a lot more in their interactions. Disabilities exist because too many people could not care less about the countless daily challenges disabled people experience. Language is structured to exclude the people we don’t want to interact with. @hosford42 @Uair @ApostateEnglishman @MissGayle @actuallyautistic
(DIR) Post #AvWyyog5oQhu72DeCW by ApostateEnglishman@mastodon.world
2025-06-25T01:50:14Z
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@MissGayle @Uair @hosford42 @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic An autistic work colleague told me it's all the subtle non-verbal cues that took extra concentration for her to pick up. For neurotypicals this is unconscious and instinctive - it takes no effort at all - so is not taught. Autistic people have to work at it, which can make social situations exhausting. Neurotypicals often convey *intention* with body language not words, which is why it seems we often don't say what we mean. Confusing!
(DIR) Post #AvWyypkjoe17RjOs52 by Uair@autistics.life
2025-06-25T01:52:42Z
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@ApostateEnglishman @MissGayle @hosford42 @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic When I'm grumpy, I say that only autistic people communicate in language. Neurotypicals communicate in vibe, and microcues. They only use language to manipulate and deceive.
(DIR) Post #AvWyyqpNorKKmQa5xY by farah@beige.party
2025-06-26T01:51:58Z
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@Uair @ApostateEnglishman @MissGayle @hosford42 @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Neurotypicals have a lot of unspoken rules that somehow is known to all of them but us. It’s infuriating. I like my communication clear and concise.
(DIR) Post #AvWyyrigVFYxXwSG9o by farah@beige.party
2025-06-26T01:54:14Z
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@Uair @ApostateEnglishman @MissGayle @hosford42 @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Sometimes I feel like, we missed a literal memo when we were born.
(DIR) Post #AvdfPKu5ywHabyrABs by raphaelmorgan@disabled.social
2025-06-29T23:05:55Z
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@Uair @skiles @hosford42 @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic I wonder if this is why so many autistic people are (out as) trans. Like, we couldn't do our birth gender right anyway so we're more likely to experiment AND more likely to be resilient when people think we're weird.I say "(out as)" not because I think a lot of us are faking or anything, but because I'm sure there are more allistic people who *want* to transition than there are that do
(DIR) Post #AvdfPMiTF8AkEVQuLg by Dianora@ottawa.place
2025-06-29T23:14:28Z
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@raphaelmorgan @Uair @skiles @hosford42 @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Not just trans.https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/autistic-individuals-are-more-likely-to-be-lgbtqFWIW The idea that autism "causes" trans is a persistent myth...
(DIR) Post #AvdfPNoBBOKhcV6ysy by hosford42@techhub.social
2025-06-29T23:25:14Z
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@Dianora @raphaelmorgan @Uair @skiles @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Not a cause, just a reason it doesn't get smothered or hidden out of fear or peer pressure.
(DIR) Post #AvdfPOwMyQTj8Bx2I4 by Dianora@ottawa.place
2025-06-29T23:26:57Z
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@hosford42 @raphaelmorgan @Uair @skiles @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Indeed. It's also a persistent disease model rather than human variation.
(DIR) Post #AvdfPPzF5EN2NOIqPI by hosford42@techhub.social
2025-06-29T23:36:10Z
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@Dianora @raphaelmorgan @Uair @skiles @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic Because clearly anything non-normative must be a disease, as we all know. /sI wish people could get on board with the whole live-and-let-live thing already.
(DIR) Post #AvdfPQsBmwK57o0j3I by Uair@autistics.life
2025-06-29T23:38:16Z
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@hosford42 @Dianora @raphaelmorgan @skiles @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic "Live and let live" seems to be a uniquely autistic thing.It's that social mind thing. Besides being able to learn gender roles an' shit from each other, normies have to be all up in our shit demanding we conform.You can't give a pack animal a mind.
(DIR) Post #AvdfR0U8rvJjrbVuAy by Dianora@ottawa.place
2025-06-29T23:36:58Z
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@hosford42 @raphaelmorgan @Uair @skiles @pathfinder @EVDHmn @MissGayle @jeanoappleseed @actuallyautistic I think shrinks are on board with that but most people are not. Everyone must fit a peg.