Post AvPMoJ2hpe5Zk9nuRE by intransitivelie@beige.party
 (DIR) More posts by intransitivelie@beige.party
 (DIR) Post #AvPMoJ2hpe5Zk9nuRE by intransitivelie@beige.party
       2025-06-23T02:08:39Z
       
       0 likes, 1 repeats
       
       Last night I couldn't remember what the G in GERD stood for, so I landed on Godzilla. Godzilla Esophageal Reflux Disease. And my brain, because it's my brain, instantly came up with the ideal way to express this concept as a Japanese-style commercial for an antacid. Picture this, because I can't draw:INTERIOR, JAPANESE EATERY, DAYA MAN SITS EATING SPICY NOODLES. CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYS. SUDDENLY!MAN: (grabs his chest exaggeratedly) Oh no!ZOOM IN ON CHEST. A TINY GODZILLA ROARS AND BLASTS FLAMES. PULL OUT TO REVEAL SPOKESWOMAN FOR ANTACID.SPOKESWOMAN: Ah ah ah! Godzilla cannot have a home in your esophagus, for I have the cure to destroy him!SHE HOLDS UP ANTACID, WHICH TRANSFORMS INTO JET JAGUAR. JET JAGUAR FIGHTS GODZILLA IN THE MAN'S ESOPHAGUS. JUST WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE JET JAGUAR IS ABOUT TO LOSE, THE SPOKESWOMAN SHAKES HER ANTACID MAGIC WAND AND HE IS FULLY RESTORED. HE BEATS THE CRAP OUT OF GODZILLA AND BANISHES HIM TO THE LAND OF SMOKE AND GHOSTS.CUT TO THE MAN SIGHING WITH RELIEF.MAN: (smiling brightly) Ahhhhh.CUT TO SPOKESWOMAN WHO IS NOW ON THE BEACH WITH JET JAGUAR. THEY ARE BOTH WEARING BIKINIS FOR SOME REASON.MONTAGE. JET JAGUAR MAKES ELABORATE MARTIAL ARTS MOVEMENTS. THE SPOKESWOMAN BURIES HIM IN THE SAND. HE BURSTS OUT OF THE SAND. THEY BOTH LAUGH. GODZILLA SHOWS UP AND DANCES WITH THEM. GODZILLA IS ALSO WEARING A BIKINI. THEY DO VARIOUS EXAGGERATED THINGS IN THE SURF. THE SPOKESWOMAN AND JET JAGUAR BUILD A SAND CASTLE. GODZILLA KNOCKS IT OVER. THEY ALL LAUGH.CUT TO ANTACID LOGO.SPOKESWOMAN: Banish your Godzilla Esophageal Reflux Disease to the Land of Smoke and Ghosts! No worries! All singing!THE SPOKESWOMAN AND THE MAN FROM THE JAPANESE EATERY SING A SONG ALL ABOUT BANISHING GODZILLA TO THE LAND OF SMOKE AND GHOSTS. IT IS LONGER THAN NECESSARY. THE ANTACID LOGO SPARKLES IN RHYTHM.FADE TO BLACK.---I'm unappreciated in my own time.
       
 (DIR) Post #Aw1kDsQg9tr6RYqWQK by shalien@mastodon.projetretro.io
       2025-07-11T14:57:14Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @intransitivelie The fuck you're on ?
       
 (DIR) Post #Aw1mIu9xLvwHAMY82K by intransitivelie@beige.party
       2025-07-11T15:20:32Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @shalien Unfortunately, I'm this way entirely naturally. So I guess, in answer to your question, "my bullshit?"
       
 (DIR) Post #Aw1nSaoMFCns0Zd8zY by shalien@mastodon.projetretro.io
       2025-07-11T15:33:32Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @intransitivelie I would have accepted auto brewy syndrom too