Post AvHCToQQM2Pro7oqO0 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
(DIR) More posts by detondev@social.linux.pizza
(DIR) Post #AtQaduePbCTMxbkxN2 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-11T13:07:09Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
today's the day i start work im so nervous lol
(DIR) Post #AtQadvk7XSdKLbR1uK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-11T16:21:10Z
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i hate the picture of my face on my card so much it makes me look like the single most masculine human who's ever lived
(DIR) Post #AtQadwnLcwoDbtx7Zo by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-11T19:05:33Z
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this is a christian place originally only intended for their elderly clergy btw, but they have a diversity equity inclusion statement that explicitly mentions gender identity, and despite how things are going, soooooooo
(DIR) Post #AtQadxiQCkSkSuehXM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-11T23:21:51Z
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lmao one of my coworkers thought i was my sister but "turning into a guy"
(DIR) Post #AtQadym0GuvDkJL4l6 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-12T16:09:17Z
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okie dokie i think ive processed and decompressed enough from that first day on the job that i wanna yap about it
(DIR) Post #AtQadzOzvw77hFaDXU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-12T16:09:33Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
first off NEW CHARACTERS JUST DROPPED IN THE ENARGEIAVERSEANIME GUY: some zoomer whos studying economics and consumes way too much dbz and naruto and one piece and jjk. fucks with the mid 2000s sonic osts and ai voiceover parody videos. says he's basically dead outside of work and school so idk how he has the time to follow all that tooTRAIN GUY: only genuinely friendly one here, makes loud train noises whenever he passes through, wishes he were tearing trafficpoles up in philly after the eagles win. has some sort of beef with dessert ladyTIRED GUY: i hate [something about my job]. u feel me [deadname]?DESSERT LADY: seems significantly older than most of us. keeps mistaking my sister for someone named emily. when i met her she mistook me for my sister, who she mistook for emily, and thought i was her but just starting transition to "turn into a guy" lmao
(DIR) Post #AtQadzr0FoW166gaBs by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-12T16:23:30Z
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after watching lotsa training videos about dementia and shit like that, i spent most of the time following my trainer and watching him do things i won't remember how to do. i spent the next most time doing the only job i 100% understand so far, which is operating the check-in place to make sure no seniors get free meals
(DIR) Post #AtQae0MuLC2Ih3c3v6 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-12T16:31:26Z
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to do this i had to find each ones name on the resident list and deduct a meal from their plan, and to do that i had to listen to each one say their name as they came through. but they were seniors so there was a lot of slurring and me leaning over going "could you say that again" and a couple got through with free meals in the end whoops
(DIR) Post #AtQae0pccR0M872zg0 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-12T17:15:22Z
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and at one point the tired guy vanished for a reallllyyyyy long bathroom break and so i just took over and acted like i knew how to do the salads even though nobody had taught me let alone assigned me to the job, it somehow went alright even though i bonked a few salad containers against the glass barrier tryna get them through the slit to a senior. nelly furtado is my voice rn, i AM like a bird, i cant see that glass for shit
(DIR) Post #AtQae1Zhr5rsR2bnVY by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-13T03:13:39Z
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yall im resting after the second day and it was interesting, i met some new people who didn't work the last shift. first is a lady with lots of tattoos who worked the grill and second is a lady who has a cartoon network character i vaguely have imprinted somewhere in my subconsious as her phone wallpaper
(DIR) Post #AtQae2Ij9hsegffkgK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-13T03:22:02Z
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cartoon lady taught me to scoop and serve the different types of slop from their heated up buckets, and to go complain to the chefs when i ran out. i like having her train me cause she seems like she knows her shit more than everybody else and seems really sweet when she isn't being loud and demanding for the job
(DIR) Post #AtQae2nDKMGcDDw6CW by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-13T03:25:18Z
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also dessert lady called me the feminine version of my deadname today, after i explained i wasnt my sister the other day and told her my deadname. i have no idea what she thinks about me, is she onto me being a closeted trans girl through pure vibes only???
(DIR) Post #AtQae3IlR3VJn4hINU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-13T03:36:04Z
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and so far my least favorite parts of this job are:1. sweeping and mopping at the end, humans were meant to clean normal rooms like this not bigass line kitchens and cafes2. how much food we throw out at the end of the day. if this is normal for fast food, it's a crime against humanity
(DIR) Post #AtQae42qfiMq60G6D2 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-13T05:21:12Z
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and im still salty about them throwing out the pizza before i could get to it (we're allowed to eat leftovers)
(DIR) Post #AtQae4q7iVmaYpJS0u by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-13T18:58:37Z
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"gonna get more crackers, get more of my people" - my coworker
(DIR) Post #AtQae5q9zrPFfEKzi4 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-13T19:56:27Z
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"you have a nice spring in your step" - random old ladycan i put quotes from irl people in my testimony section lol
(DIR) Post #AtQae6e901OAAFiucS by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-17T23:22:18Z
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i went out of breath handling a big box of cantaloupe at work, clearly i am destined to write the next proletarian anthem
(DIR) Post #AtQae7TttamyklwFI8 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-18T02:10:31Z
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no but seriously there's material here. it's crazy how my coworkers and i all got our own distinct little drops of charm while our manager people are all the most aggressively uncool white men the labs've cooked up to date. and it's always a little sad when u get done talking with one of the nice old retired ladies here only to spot all the trump stickers and knicknacks on her purse and shit and meet her annoyingly excessively rich family
(DIR) Post #AtQae8Wm0OgHzyI3PM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-18T02:59:58Z
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the grill lady looks exactly like mama from death stranding but chubbier, and talks exactly like her but with more aave and 420 blaze it jokes and fangirling over marvel movies. i will always wipe the dishes cart when she tells me to
(DIR) Post #AtQae9FnJ0h4FbM0a8 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-18T18:14:57Z
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the one really good chef from slovakia has a "FREAKIN' AWESOME CULINARY BADASS" tshirt faintly visible under his cooking top lol, i kinda want one now but ik im not bad enough for it 😔
(DIR) Post #AtQae9tqu4jiFq601I by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-19T01:56:33Z
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yall train guy just causally said "bro im not retarded" in convo with another guy right in front of me, then some other guy ive never seen before showed up and started talking about how he's going to a screamo show at some strangers house cause of his older brother who's dating a girl who just turned 18 while being like 25, then grill lady started talking about a screamo remix of souljia boy's crank dat. my workplace is wild
(DIR) Post #AtQaeAr3Ly5jDRnHIO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-19T02:12:18Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
i post these stories and moments out of a deep unshakeable love for humanity despite viscerally knowing better than to love it
(DIR) Post #AtQaeBhsBaLHrGVScq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-19T18:37:03Z
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weirdly enough im the youngest person here working the line. the manager told me he usually hired teenagers and most of these people seemed like they would be in high school (mind you ive obviously never been) but it turns out theyre all twentysomethings
(DIR) Post #AtQaeCbspL94eyiBvc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-19T21:36:27Z
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one of the saddest things i observe here is that the closer a coworker is to my age, the more they're doing a bajilion different types of drugs just to keep functioning between work and school
(DIR) Post #AtQaeDGeNlkshPmkTI by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-21T16:44:03Z
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sooo the other day at work was a day we'd all been dreading: they finally finished adding the new touchscreen ordering system to replace the usual way. it really seems like there's no good reason for it. for starters, this is a retirement home so all the cafe customers have been used to ordering face to face their whole lives, and there's no apparent accessibility improvements. maybe there's a slight efficiency improvement??? idk, not even the manager guys are all that enthusiastic about this, i hear the order came from higher-level corporate mfs who haven't ever set foot in our kitchen so yeah
(DIR) Post #AtQaeDuM09VwgYMSMC by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-21T21:06:14Z
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WAIT YALL one of the managers has been wearing a fucking Celeste hoodie to work for multiple days. wtf does this mean
(DIR) Post #AtQaeEuOHV8bmxO03M by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-22T03:24:43Z
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kitchen guy with baseball cap: [deadname] lift this with the rag so you don't burn yourselfme: *mumbled response*baseball guy: cmon yell at me! i want that! that's what i like!friendly frumpy short old lady coworker, out of nowhere: you fucking freak
(DIR) Post #AtQaeFbzfO13yBmp16 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-24T20:21:53Z
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going back to work today, have no idea how much ill remember about how to do shit 😭
(DIR) Post #AtQaeGKJ0dSgBcWD5M by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-25T00:25:41Z
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yall celeste guy's got the music taste of me when i was twelve lol, bumping instrumental synthpop id randomly find off youtube like magic sword and shit, takes me back 🎶
(DIR) Post #AtQaeH7a3QsQeRZYtE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-25T21:55:03Z
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my job keeps me from getting home till after the library's closed, so i haven't been doing those nighttime walks i described before, where most my pictures came from. i miss it. guess it's time to savor the night for it's own sake, without the library to motivate me.
(DIR) Post #AtQaeHgfwwwwPHzaam by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-26T01:27:27Z
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im starting to think i have a... um... SUPERNATURAL knack for meeting women who believe in astrology and psychics and all that type shit, all my women coworkers believe and all the women at my community college's psychology club believed back when i was involved in that
(DIR) Post #AtQaeIL5WhHAQctraC by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-27T05:36:53Z
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working both taking orders face to face and running around taking care of shit on the cafe line is starting to beat some social skills into my homeschooled autistic ass, as they said it would lol. i now have preprogrammed pleasantries i say really loudly to make sure people hear it!!! "have a nice day sir" from me is something id never have guessed last year
(DIR) Post #AtQaeIy5BiT4NZ90Ma by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-27T19:07:31Z
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omggg one of the nurses who works here is named ena omg hiiiiii
(DIR) Post #AtQaeJjwJmkUlzXDxQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-02-28T03:25:56Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
for some reason everyone here plays pokemon go. even celeste guy. how did this happen, how do social groups form offline and develop themselves over time, what are the lives of people who went to school as kids like
(DIR) Post #AtQaeKFqPAGmMwShge by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-02T14:46:01Z
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(DIR) Post #AtQaeKmSRuME05ikWO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-04T00:38:26Z
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*i struggle finding places to put some cafe menus*random ass old retired lady: so this is how the other half lives huh
(DIR) Post #AtQaeLVpjCeaGowzFQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-04T04:38:24Z
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so today at work was wild yall, i was assigned taking orders again (they seem to like me in the most people-facing positions?) and then the computer stopped being able to close tickets for some reason. so we all had to revert to the old way of doing things. and most people celebrated that lmao obviously
(DIR) Post #AtQaeMGcvE5GbwqMBU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-04T04:54:29Z
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also screamo guy had painted black nails, shoulda complimented him on it
(DIR) Post #AtQaeMqQm6iwOzawzY by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-04T05:51:40Z
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oughhhffff the reality of the time work takes from me starting to hit a lil ngl
(DIR) Post #AtQaeNReXiUwGR0g0e by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-05T01:09:29Z
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kept a straight face overhearing an old lady proselytizing about the evils of transgenderism to her friends as i served her crawdad
(DIR) Post #AtQaeNycZ8rxugR0Oe by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-06T01:07:56Z
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screamo guy: hey bro want some milk?slovakian baker, in thick slovakian accent, almost word for word: get that crap away from me, back when i was kid i drank milk right inside farm, here today all they have is this pasteurized and pasteurized carton, it smells like shit and is basically water
(DIR) Post #AtQaeOT6jnFvREhLuq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-06T01:14:11Z
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im tryna find his t shirt i mentioned before online btw, but turns out bitches r just pumping out tons of em with the same phrase just in different layouts and i cant find the one he had lol
(DIR) Post #AtQaeP8aFaQtVs6TZ2 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-06T01:44:12Z
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and i was beginning to forget this was a christian place till about 75% of the building had ash crosses on their foreheads from one of the retired priests here
(DIR) Post #AtQaePo3lNbraVVbDE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-06T02:21:12Z
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it's definitely one of the less bad christian traditions tbh more people should be drawing on their heads with ash as a reminder of their fragile mortal being
(DIR) Post #AtQaeQUFEXLzhLFHxw by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-06T03:00:55Z
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before i left i heard cartoon lady talk about her fucked history with how she lost her last job at a pharmacy, when she caught covid as it was first kicking off in the usa, and pissed off her bosses by tryna fight for better accommodation for that
(DIR) Post #AtQaeR7asEpTfNeiIa by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-06T19:30:00Z
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one funny thing i never mentioned happened is that, when they were setting up the new system, my other zoomer coworkers started laughing when they first saw the ui, confusing our manager. i looked over and saw the different stations abbreviations were "KMS", "POS", and so on :)
(DIR) Post #AtQaeRn4O20Rk13pwm by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-06T20:20:10Z
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goatee chef: all im good for is leavinganime guy: just like my dad!goatee chef: all part of the plan
(DIR) Post #AtQaeSUflustvFSeuW by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-07T00:34:01Z
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roughly half my coworkers are black, and u better believe i often hear em joking about finding their caucasian side whenever corpos come in
(DIR) Post #AtQaeTJMjRQySTB8vQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-07T06:13:49Z
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our cafe uses those dixie cups, and screamo guy wrote "normous" right by the brandname and started uncontrollably wheezing and giggling to himself for like 5 minutes
(DIR) Post #AtQaeUIh3QUTWfs7W4 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-07T06:20:07Z
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apparently he was in the managers office with a sixteen year old who works here when he told them about his handiwork and the manager said, almost word for word, "jesus christ there's a minor here" people who refer to teens as minors r among us irl u can't make this shit up
(DIR) Post #AtQaeUrQyGHPGQ7rfM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-10T23:19:16Z
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lost my voice a lil from hollering at seniors
(DIR) Post #AtQaeVf3zjyjkLLV1U by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-10T23:55:39Z
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"international women's day was shortest of the year, cause that's how important yall are" - celeste guy
(DIR) Post #AtQaeWKBWqs7nsaL7Q by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-11T00:49:39Z
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grill lady was telling a wild ass story about how she worked all day sunday on only two hours of sleep, had like a dozen drugs and redbulls in her to make it, then went on a night trip into the city with a friend afterwards. in the city she apparently wandered into a cookie store or some shit that had some other shit locked behind this mechanical wall, that lifted up into the ceiling with a password she wasn't supposed to have but talked her way into. when she watched it lift, that just completely destroyed her barely surviving tether to reality in the most lovecraftian sense possible lol, she couldnt believe what she was seeing was real. the friend had to fish her ass outta there
(DIR) Post #AtQaeWtdP3EDZpAeNE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-11T01:10:55Z
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the password is "flowerpower" btw she totally snitched to us lol be sure to try it if ur in any tiny cookie stores nestled deep within a certain northeast us city, won't be more specific cause im not doxxing myself yet 🙃
(DIR) Post #AtQaeXNlb1Kb5HGiLA by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-11T01:35:23Z
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also screamo guy showed us pictures of that concert in a random dude's basement, they were terrifying cause there was like only an inch between the basement ceiling and everyones heads. there was some band i didn't get the name of coming up from west virginia that spent most of the time shit talking our football team
(DIR) Post #AtQaeXrXoJ9OZdCUkq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-11T04:24:07Z
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there's been this one old lady living here whos always uhh, sorta flirty with me ig? idk
(DIR) Post #AtQaeYKc4EP21mni40 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-11T19:11:56Z
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"(deadname) u gotta get urself one of them COUGARS u feel me, they gonna take care of u, they not like these females nowadays, females nowadays a whole different BREED *points at random fourtysomething lady* look at that fine body right there" - train guy, giving me dating advice unprompted
(DIR) Post #AtQaeYnKLTN5SqEdou by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-12T00:36:16Z
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train guy came to work today with the bottom sides of his afro freshly updated, but i like it less than before. why? cause now his whole head looks like a penis tip lol. black men everywhere BE CAREFUL do this style right lest the same fate awaits, look like a mushroom not a pp okay
(DIR) Post #AtQaeZOC8OrVJBU5Hk by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-12T00:53:57Z
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while im receiving much inspiration for when i create The Great American Game by working here now rather than hiding from the world, truth is still too strange for fiction. if i wrote a 20-25 year old black dude who voted trump only cause he believed women were too emotional to lead, despite working under multiple woman head chefs at his latest job, and whos afro just happens to be perfectly shaped to make his head look like a dick, that would be too bullshit for people. but hes right here tryna get me to hook up with women old as my mom
(DIR) Post #AtQaeaB7CVzfkuN9XM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-12T01:09:30Z
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also the reason screamo guy wasn't here the first few days i was despite being an employee since he was like 14 is apparently cause he just got outta prison??? bro looks barely older than me wtf did he do
(DIR) Post #AtQaeawGNDhw78Qo1g by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-12T22:00:31Z
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me every day at work
(DIR) Post #AtQaebskrkUn2XnWCG by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-13T00:39:58Z
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"im so sorry, i didnt know you were a boy. you have the long hair and you were skipping back and forth, so i thought you were a girl" - another random old ladythis is like the third time they've brought up how i walk of their own volition wtf am i doing am i actually skipping along like some sort of whimsical disney princess and don't consciously know
(DIR) Post #AtQaecmlVVIZqG0FV2 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-13T01:51:58Z
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every dinner shift at our retirement community cafe, there's always the one table of our token woke seniors amidst all the centrist and maga boomers. i should tap them into masto they seem like they'd make great annoying liberals here lol"i read they took down the picture of the enola gay because it had the word gay in it! why, next they'll get rid of everything to do with humanity because of the homo in homo sapiens!""oh they'd ABSOLUTELY do that betsy!"
(DIR) Post #AtQaedWqkAA69BZ3Ka by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-13T07:25:03Z
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⚡️⚡️⚡️ DRAMA THURSDAY ⚡️⚡️⚡️BEEF has kicked off between SCREAMO GUY and TRAIN GUY. screamo guy and i were wiping down the plastic carts, business as usual, when screamo guy asked train guy to go fetch the clean dishes. train guy said "i aint doin allat" and left. screamo guy started quietly going off to me "u had one fucking job fucking pussy fucking lazy ass bitch fuck u imma get u fired imma beat ur ass" HOWEVER when i went to the main area i learned tired guy overheard, told train guy, and he was going "say it to my face pussy". screamo guy came in and they started shouting match back and forth till celeste guy came in, shut them up, and separated them
(DIR) Post #AtQaeeaQoKcZQaFQYK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-13T11:27:42Z
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screamo guy has a pact with some 40-60 year old man he knows. this old man is a lifelong smoker, and screamo guy is young on lots of drugs. when he found out screamo guy was starting to vape, he told him he'd start tryna quit cigarettes long as he kept from adding vapes to his inner cocktail
(DIR) Post #AtQaefTNW2ZcAzxJCK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-13T17:20:25Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
i have this bad habit, which ive been doing way more at work especially, where i'll swing my arms and wildly gesture and move my lips with a big grin like how these ingroup neurotypicals banter and react to jokes, without actually saying anything. cause i don't actually know how to respond to their joke.
(DIR) Post #AtQaegAytvS4MEM8A4 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-13T17:26:26Z
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the one manager, the one who's a jew who shit talked himself cause he forgot it was passover (need to find a better anonymity nickname than "jewish guy" lol), called this out one time and my heartrate spiked, i had to go rest in the bathroom a bit.
(DIR) Post #AtQaeh1njXhd034JUW by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-15T21:03:39Z
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at work i have this one coworker, who ill nickname singing guy, who, uh... sings a lot more than everybody else while working. ive noticed some recurring patterns in whats most common:- going MUSTAAAAAAAARD whenever he wants mustard, u can hear that shit ringing out cross the cafe lol- singing SWEET HOOOME ALABAMA whenever he's serving up specific types of meat- singing DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD in a really high elmo type voice for some reason i dont fucking actually know
(DIR) Post #AtQaehvSOcDpmf6lF2 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-18T13:47:25Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
woah turns out posting quickly is hard with the disposable vinyl gloves we gotta change every now n then at work
(DIR) Post #AtQaeiUuGoZvYbh4Uq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-18T15:29:57Z
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good news yall train guy's afro was a work in progress its even more trimmed down today crisis averted
(DIR) Post #AtQaej9fpFBjb2ld2W by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-20T00:16:41Z
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singer guy, doing a high pitched cartoon impression: HEWRWE'S TWODAY'S DESSEWT!train guy, doing same impression: ISSSS CHEEWWYY PIE!singer guy: NOOOO IWTS A FWUIT OWF THWE FOWWEST!train guy: ITS CHEEWWYYsinger guy: NO ITS FWUIT OWF THWE FOWWESTtrain guy: TWY IT!singer guy: NOO YEW TWY IT!train guy: TWY IT TWY IT JUWST TWY IT!singer guy: ITS FWUI-train guy: AIWNT NAW FWUIT IWN DWA FOWWEST YUW DWUMB MOWVERFWUKEWR! FWUK YEW TWALKIN BOWT!
(DIR) Post #AtQaejoRNfnXdTqBaC by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-20T03:40:51Z
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at work today i got covid vaxxed. i haven't done anything covid related once these 5 years cause of parents, this is first time.
(DIR) Post #AtQaekJzUN2FDKbNlA by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-21T10:36:13Z
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discourse moves fast at the annoying liberal seniors table, the other day at work the topic was different each time took a dirty dish. first it was whether the fbi killed jfk, then it was pod save america, then it was newt gingrich's role in how things ended up this way, then it was why hillary lost, then it was
(DIR) Post #AtQaeku9JvxV1TWG7U by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-22T14:09:55Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
my coworkers were talking about walmart the other day. they tell stories of going and finding dudes shitting in the isles, bathrooms locked to stop kids from doing heroin, and GREAT PRICES!
(DIR) Post #AtQaeljuDVMJbzjanA by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-24T23:33:48Z
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today i met two new coworkers that started working my side of things recently: two identical twins who look like american zoomer reincarnations of the bogdanoff twins early era. it's uncanny
(DIR) Post #AtQaemdurGA6PhwK5w by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-25T00:37:44Z
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screamo guy told us last saturday at a party he consumed 3 xans 1 lemonade 1 choccy milk 1 bottle of some type alcohol i didn't catch then vomited it all out in a wawa's parking lot later that night
(DIR) Post #AtQaenV5fYhF4comye by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-25T00:49:37Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
grill lady: "And he was always a kind normal guy! You'dve never guessed he'd get arrested for 2 gigs of child porn! He'd send me money and a nice card for my birthdays back in the d-"screamo guy: "Cause he was tryna SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!"
(DIR) Post #AtQaeoIih2OZYY2QKm by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-25T18:48:28Z
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one thing with this new system is that many of the retirees here had been getting to interact with the people making their food face to face, had been forming relationships with them, and now it's more like a machine on their side. "I never get to see you guys anymore!" Nancy said to grill lady. "Is your sister back to healthy?"
(DIR) Post #AtQaeosAZEkfKUcjaa by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-03-31T20:05:04Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
celeste guy's got a new haircut and its a botched attempt at looking like a broccoli haired 14yo boy 💔
(DIR) Post #AtQaepgrWlIjriLDbU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-01T19:58:25Z
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local accent lady cooked up some meat, proclaimed how amazing it tasted, then handed me some so i could try. i wanted to but just couldn't make myself do it, especially not infront of everybody where it was socially riskier. i escaped to the bathroom threw it away n sat around feelin like shit, fuck my shitty arfid life
(DIR) Post #AtQaeqPWqh1w6FEtE0 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-01T23:21:55Z
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the cafe order computer stopped working along with receipt printer, so i had to take orders on the manager's ipad that had the software installed. while this was happening an in-house technician tried to fix it. she had the most butch lesbian haircut ever and her fair share of colored tattoos, one was on her neck and either a pride flag lighting bolt or a "my energy" lightning bolt, couldn't precisely pin down what the colors were
(DIR) Post #AtQaeqxYoAFhnnA4Gm by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-01T23:42:25Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
while she was fixing it (took most of lunch shift) she dropped the most r-slur ive ever heard out someone's mouth in my life lol, once or twice a minute ig? even on the phone with another technician, he apparently commented on it and she said "oh that's not pc? well, nobody's perfect!"
(DIR) Post #AtQaerVwkJl3WRFWro by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-02T00:49:47Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
she looked n sounded like she was on the verge of tears from stress whole time she was working, so when i was free i went over n helped her slide cords thru holes n shit. despite our effort, what fixed it was the manager unplugging something n plugging it back in again lol. as she walked away i gave her a corny lil salute and that made her laugh n cheered her up ^_^
(DIR) Post #AtQaes8ERyNnRBA6Xg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-02T01:41:48Z
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also tried fried onion rings for the first time in my life, courtesy of cafe leftovers. they were good! wasn't expecting em to be so weirdly sweet tasting
(DIR) Post #AtQaessJgdFJk6iuNE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-02T21:20:59Z
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my coworkers n i were having discourse over if the man with the yellow hat from curious george had a real name, then train guy accidentally said "yellow man with the hat" and it turned RACIAL
(DIR) Post #AtQaetd6seg05EcHJI by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-04T02:53:33Z
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missed yet another call from the manager earlier today, tryna keep myself from dooming
(DIR) Post #AtQaeub1HubB52e7gu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-07T23:45:13Z
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*a gigantic centipede appears on the cafe floor*screamo guy: awwww it's a widdle bug!sparkle lady: please don't kill it, it would break my heartcartoon lady: *casually walks over it to go fetch cleaning equipment* sorry i dont got a heart
(DIR) Post #AtQaevX9nl6RzLqYJE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-08T18:40:30Z
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yall pls save me train guy's doing last of us 2 discourse in 2025 "nah abby was DEFINITELY a transgender when she lifted up her shirt i was soooo pissed" after i explained everybody assumed she was cuz she's buff and therefore Arnold Schwarzenegger with a ponytail in the eyes of the average gamer
(DIR) Post #AtQaewF7AKGUBgPepE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-14T23:13:50Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
oh shit istg i just saw a lil mouse run across the floor as i walked out the cafe after we closed
(DIR) Post #AtQaewx4WtQWO0ylLE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-15T18:14:56Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
today at the cafe there's an event going on, some lady is talking about the history of motown music, how she thinks it helped heal racism in the fifties, and then performing the hits over the bluetooth speaker backing track
(DIR) Post #AtQaexm7T6GAwKrWuO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-16T01:00:07Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
anime guy: *rolls up paper and tosses it at screamo guy*screamo guy: *dodges, paper hits grill lady*grill lady: OW, my titty!anime guy: sorrygrill lady: if i develop breast cancer its ur fault
(DIR) Post #AtQaeyJnRtCMcmcQOu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-16T01:30:41Z
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anime guy: *tosses paper at screamo guy, actually hits this time*screamo guy: if u do that again imma molest utrain guy: no diddythis type shit is the average interaction at my workplace atp
(DIR) Post #AtQaeytFK5YSOjCjei by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-17T02:50:37Z
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the other day at work i ended up in an interaction with most of my middle aged dude coworkers that somehow led to them humming a vocal sample from Annie Lennox's No More "I Love You's", and then me tryna hit the falsetto end, then all of them laughing at me cause thats my singing weakness. I hadn't ever heard of Annie till they demonstrated what they wanted me to do, so now ive looked it up and im like wow this is a pretty good song. Old Guys SCHOOL Clueless Zoomer On What REAL MUSIC Is
(DIR) Post #AtQaezMfYh5fryyEW8 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-17T20:12:00Z
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*train guy going through and mocking everybody's ages* ha-hah, so [screamo guy], how old were you again?screamo guy: 20train guy: oooooh, how do i know i can trust you, what if you're 30? what if you're 16?screamo guy: cuz i spent my 20th in the psych ward bed hopped up on a dozen meds with a little bracelet from the staff around my wrist, i got pictures if you wanna see
(DIR) Post #AtQaezqRlyuTMKu0vo by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-18T00:23:00Z
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today was one of the most hectic days ive had at work yet, and on top of that so much wild shit happened i don't think i can recall it all for this thread
(DIR) Post #AtQaf0O7klqf2meuQK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-18T01:18:19Z
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me: *rushing into the kitchen to look for butter*slovakian baker: *tosses crumpled paper at me with a big stupid grin*me: oofslovakian baker: *while laughing* come on bro u were suppose to CATCHme: suprise attack
(DIR) Post #AtQaf0yHaKluqvZmme by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-18T02:51:07Z
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*a wildly dressed guy walks in with a weird black and white dog real low to the ground*tired guy: yo what kind of dog is that?screamo guy: i dont know... a corgi?tired guy: man this place doesnt feel realme: especially in the hallwaystired guy: bro EXACTLY, its like the matrix when i walk down one of them bitches*a few moments later: someone in a full body easter bunny fursuit walks in to spread holiday cheer*tired guy: BRUH im in a simulation wtf is happeningme *high fives the easter bunny*tired guy: *staring, mouth agape, sense of reality shattered*
(DIR) Post #AtQaf1ZrKcpUjT9nM0 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-18T03:09:08Z
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he's not wrong though, this place really is surreal to exist in. long hallways lined with resident doors, walls papered with patterns out of style by the 60s. fake plants all over the place
(DIR) Post #AtQaf27tI63GR14yOm by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-18T10:36:03Z
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screamo guy's gonna go to warped tour soon eventually and he really wrote in big letters all over the request off form "Warped Tour" then went WARPED TOOOOUUUURRRR!!!!! right by the soda machine
(DIR) Post #AtQaf2tkQAKgpRTBzc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-18T21:07:18Z
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*train guy, singer guy, and screamo guy in the middle of an arguement abt how to make mac n cheese meals*train guy: -that's so weird bro, it's not supposed to be crunchy like that!screamo guy: u only think that cuz u like the feeling of them noodles sliding down ur throat u fag
(DIR) Post #AtQaf3Vg98fqj5DU7E by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-23T00:52:49Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
during lunch break today there was this fire alarm technician guy sitting in the booth next to mine as i was eating leftover cafe pizza n bacon. we could both see each other thru a hole in the top, was awkward at first. he started striking up a convo with me, ive learned to take joy in the act itself so i feel like it went well, even asked him a question rather than just defensively answering his the whole time
(DIR) Post #AtQafBqt8AOQbBCXHk by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-24T01:16:33Z
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during dinner shift today screamo guy started having an anxiety attack. id heard he had a buncha mental health issues and a therapist but nothing specific.jewish guy walked by, screamo guy asked if he could cover his position so he could go take the meds in his car. he said no. train guy walked by, asked "u okay?", screamo guy said no, and train guy just made a joke reply and left.atp he looked like he was boutta drop dead, leaning against the wall turning red. i got my soup and fruit orders done, saw his incomplete salad orders, and was like "bro ill cover u the line's small enough rn"but during the 10 minutes he was gone, jewish guy came back to restock chips. im nervous that screamo guy and i didn't properly convey what happened after that, nervous he might get in trouble cause of me
(DIR) Post #AvHCT95Q3EFjb6fzSC by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-24T23:58:18Z
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jewish guy has the most monotone voice ive ever heard, and both my sister and i are autistic. it makes some convos really funny, like one time a lady was interrogating him about how environmentally friendly the cafe was, another time a lady found out he was jewish and started getting emotional over the josh shapiro situation, and both times he spoke like he was boutta fall asleep outta boredom. "oh that's terrible" "yeah" "uh huh" he did not GIVE A SHIT lol. most emotion ive heard from him is when he catches me fucking up
(DIR) Post #AvHCTA6WGcj8koCNo8 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-25T03:26:06Z
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*screamo guy checks his phone, a friend sent him a meme*old lady: what are you looking at?screamo guy: my friend sent me something funnyold lady: its not a porno is it?
(DIR) Post #AvHCTAy33bXrQpF8F6 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-29T01:16:20Z
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today marks the beginning of "employee appreciation week." this means there are now a bunch of sad saggy papers with clipart of glossy smiley emojis partially stuck to various walls of the cafe
(DIR) Post #AvHCTBi8IGPNjknw4e by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-29T03:06:14Z
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there's this one old lady who kept asking me shit like "are you christian?" "are you saved?" "do you go to church?". today, cleaning her table, i overheard her praising the confidence of someone she described as "this african-american trans woman, who looked 6 feet tall, with bright pink hair, and large stilletos, she was very formidable." actually one of the last ppl here id think would say she but pop off queen???
(DIR) Post #AvHCTCdupQd4cxq58i by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-29T13:02:01Z
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tall cook: yo [deadname]!me: *twists around to look at him*tall cook: why u turn like r kelly 💀
(DIR) Post #AvHCTDLWDJVWoCEu6S by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-30T00:36:01Z
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train guy: *jokingly whips screamo guy with towel after their back n forth*jewish guy: hey, remember your ancestors history with whipping ok?train guy: *visibly caught off guard* uhhh im not sure how i feel abt u saying thatscreamo guy: yeah if i said it it'd be funny but from a manager it's just weirdtrain guy: BRO NOT U EITHERR
(DIR) Post #AvHCTE4XVvWJ3pIrHE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-30T12:30:29Z
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racial relations have been solved. tired guy, Ambassador of Black People, and anime guy, Ambassador of White People, have engaged in thorough discourse regarding what types of racism they find funny. now im not completely sure what the takeaway is but one big point is when white people are genuinely offended by the word cracker. yea that is kinda funny
(DIR) Post #AvHCTEq2fJW9R9WnJo by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-30T19:21:10Z
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tired guy's the most existential of my coworkers. besides the matrix shit from before we also got into a long three way convo about what's wrong with gen z, he's gotten all all sentimental yet weirded out abt things like how he doesn't know anything abt us outside of work, how he'd have difficulty looking for a better job cause he'd miss the spice we all bring to life
(DIR) Post #AvHCTFk3J4JwErjWca by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-04-30T23:24:03Z
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screamo guy: *shouting cross the cafe* YO [JEWISH GUY] WHATS YOUR FAVORITE COLORjewish guy: blue! uhhhh i mean pink!screamo guy: *quietly* femboy
(DIR) Post #AvHCTGRIiGuoOzy424 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-01T21:02:43Z
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last tuesday at work there was this group of it guys who came and made me take all their orders in one go, started talking like food critics when their meals were done, got into a convo abt gaming with that technician lady i mentioned before, and then did that thing where big games that r more popular with men are somehow more valid than big games more popular with women (making fun of her in that way for liking the sims)
(DIR) Post #AvHCTHWIhAVbknJZSq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-03T23:50:21Z
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dont usually work today, but i agreed to cover tired guy's shift cuz he was at prom or some shit. im glad i did! not only were we serving delicious rare muffins with chocolate on the inside, i met some old dudes who showed me black and white pictures of them as twentysomethings loading shit onto chinook helicopters
(DIR) Post #AvHCTIUD6QQmkbLPqS by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-06T13:22:20Z
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one big problem with my job is that i smell like shit almost all the time now from running around getting sweaty carrying ppls half eaten plates and tossing giant trash bags into the compactor and so on
(DIR) Post #AvHCTJN9o8NpV13IUS by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-06T21:00:17Z
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grill lady telling us stories of an old coworker who was from an amish duck dynasty type family or something, who apparently asked singer guy for permission to say the n word and eventually got fired after many similar incidents
(DIR) Post #AvHCTKFOYTliDEQc1w by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-07T01:41:00Z
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afro guy: why'd [jewish guy] say he'd be "here but not here"me: his spirit's watching over us *cross motions*afro guy: *little snort-laugh*sparkle mom: wowww u talking like a priest on us
(DIR) Post #AvHCTKxhtjDKQfA06C by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-07T11:36:27Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
there are many coworkers i never mention cause we almost always just interact via friendly nods as we do our jobs without getting into entertaining Situations constantly
(DIR) Post #AvHCTLdXOCfsWOjPIe by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-07T17:07:57Z
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afro guy: *tryna put a bag of italian dressing in its container by tossing, bouncing it off the ceiling**lands in ranch dressing container*afro guy: aw i missed *tries again**lands in salad bar broccoli*afro guy: even worse, one more time one more time *tries again**lands on the ground*afro guy: damn bro
(DIR) Post #AvHCTMW87ELLFiH0OO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-08T02:07:45Z
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train guy, tired guy, and cartoon lady were having an extensive discussion about if each one is from the hood, then about saving money, then about dating after cartoon lady spoke on frustrations with her boyfriend having her do all the grocery shopping. train guy said some weird shit abt how this is why he "don't date black queens" and repeated all the dating advice he told me before. cartoon lady told him he couldn't find anyone to take care of him like he wanted cause he only dates outside girls instead of inside girls
(DIR) Post #AvHCTNBFeLEjJFVqUK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-08T02:08:13Z
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tired guy: don't worry [train guy] it's not over for u since u don't got a girl yet, ur still pretty young u not like 30 or somethingcartoon lady, who tired guy didn't realize was over 30:train guy: SHOTS FIRED!!!tired guy: whoops sorry even then i mean
(DIR) Post #AvHCTNrn6BGRRBPonI by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-08T20:09:08Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
train guy: yo [deadname]me: whatchu say?train guy: u ever eat grass as a kid?me: at some pointtrain guy: flowers?me: yeah a dandeliontrain guy: *turns to tired guy* WHY YALL EATING DANDELIONS
(DIR) Post #AvHCTOk1qWeK9On8Km by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-08T23:00:19Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
i broke a handle on the wall at work today, whoops. in my defense it was hanging on by one loose screw in the eroded busted concrete lol
(DIR) Post #AvHCTPgsJjil5uK83c by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-09T03:52:33Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"this pizza so gas, im shittin my ass. DIDDY STYLE!" - screamo guy
(DIR) Post #AvHCTQbaur5hvorQSu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-12T20:06:53Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: yo watch this *sets up two towers of cups then pilots his fist into one while making plane noises*
(DIR) Post #AvHCTRKyC9O4CY5fBw by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-12T22:30:22Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
whenever im in charge of labeling to-go trays, i like to doodle on the slips of paper we use when im bored. my coworkers all mess with it, the retirees love it (some tell me they collect them) and really nobody dislikes it except for jewish guy, who wants things more professional but doesn't stop me. today screamo guy told me he's itching for the day i "draw something outta pocket" and start some sorta big controversy lol
(DIR) Post #AvHCTSBn1ldcqMnqWO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-14T20:01:33Z
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just remembered in the locker room a few days ago i overheard one of the chefs gossiping abt how celeste guy left the sink running while he used the bathroom stall and ended up flooding the place, they had to shut it down for a bit to repair
(DIR) Post #AvHCTSqCbVxqrhi7Vo by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-14T23:23:17Z
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screamo guy lifted up his work logo shirt to reveal a t-shirt with a picture of a raccoon that said "rizz 'em with the 'tism"
(DIR) Post #AvHCTTRQN7jqj97qWu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-15T00:00:11Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
i usually doodle inoffensive things on the cafe tray slips, like trees and flowers, but today I was bored and did more my usual boredom sketch style.fast forward to end of shift, screamo guy walks up and asks, sincerely, if i have schizophrenia. he apparently started worrying about me two days ago when i also made a few weirder ones, and compared my drawings to schizophrenia patient drawings he'd seen online.
(DIR) Post #AvHCTTzSKaxcQh31Zg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-15T23:24:35Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
*screamo guy and train guy inspect a small gap between two cafe counters. screamo guy slips in between and uses them to suspend himself in the air*screamo guy: this my new chair!train guy: hey hey lemme try! *screamo guy gets out, but train guy's too wide to fit*train guy: uuurrrrrrgh im almost therrrescreamo guy: too fat? ill help you! *prepares to push him in deeper by kicking his stomach*train guy: NO imma pop my insides *gets out* yo [deadname] you tryme: *slides in easy*screamo guy: of course he fits he's all boneme: *starts running in place*train guy: oh now u just flexin
(DIR) Post #AvHCTUaK7WS2H2IT2W by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-16T00:02:40Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
butch technician lady: hey can i get a box?me: just any box or something specif-singer guy, interrupting: im a box. open mebutch technician lady: *puts hands on her hips, sassy voice* don't threaten me with a good time!grill lady: *jaw drops*
(DIR) Post #AvHCTVRUvozAvxAvvE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-16T00:30:57Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
note that employee appreciation week is long gone, but those sad saggy papers with public domain smiley face clipart are still up cause nobody gives enough of a shit to take them down
(DIR) Post #AvHCTWKncDDnhT367U by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-19T22:30:07Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
singer guy: *sings*me: *beatboxes along*singer guy: WE FINALLY LOOSENING YOU UP! SLOWLY BUT SURELY!
(DIR) Post #AvHCTX0z5MxvoImmsC by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-20T06:12:14Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
celeste guy: *tells long story about how he's with us as a normal worker today cause he couldn't find any replacements for who called out*screamo guy: (sarcastic voice) it's okay [celeste guy], you're the best possible replacement we could've gottenceleste guy: *keeps doing his job*screamo guy: *turns to me* he doesn't give a fuck
(DIR) Post #AvHCTXeKj4RPmLCDCq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-21T00:14:14Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Today I found myself hunched over from a twisted foot in the grimy employees' restroom, reading a dog-eared Slaughterhouse Five paperback, barely sentient from 24+ hours sleepless, as the guy in the stall next to me binged WWE TikTok clips without headphones connected. From my impression of the book so far, I feel like Vonnegut is the sort of guy who'd be delighted to hear all this. Which is how you know I'm really enjoying it ^_^
(DIR) Post #AvHCTYHKO5dJjHRLzE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-21T02:33:35Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
idk much abt food and routinely embarrass myself working here not knowing shit like what certain french words mean
(DIR) Post #AvHCTZLcPcex2sSIJU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-21T23:27:08Z
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tired guy expressed the same sentiment to me, especially with regards to the snickerdoodle bar we served today. after work he grabbed the last one and ate it just to find out
(DIR) Post #AvHCTaNQaNhWEmJFlw by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-22T00:33:01Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy has a buddy who works as a bank teller or some shit, apparently one guy who comes in there's a higher up who manages a bunch of mcdonalds in our state, and he just sends them bulk orders sometimes. anyway heyyyyyy rich ppl haha
(DIR) Post #AvHCTbepp9DeD3SfXk by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-22T18:59:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
tired guy: *fiddling with his long white shirt that makes up part of some employee uniforms* damn this is so hot this time of year, why do you get a t-shirt and not meme: they just handed it to me when i got hiredtired guy: really? they told me i wouldn't get one till i was hired longerme: maybe they changed the dress code before me?tired guy: hey [celeste guy] can i have the t-shirt i've been here like a year nowceleste guy: i'll check with [jewish guy] for you, it'll probably be a while if so cause our stock's smallme: mind you [jewish guy] gave me a whole piletired guy: bro
(DIR) Post #AvHCTcmfdV55he8ROa by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-22T19:13:17Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
whimsical elderly men are kings and deserve the world. working at this cafe i'm always tryna be the one to take their order when they're around. shoutout Fredrick in particular for making spaceship landing noises as i set his food down and laughing maniacally when i made a joke comparing all the silverware and plastic containers he had to a dragon's hoard
(DIR) Post #AvHCTdYWlZMW64WezQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-23T00:03:59Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"im like a mushroom, cause im a fun guy." - screamo guy
(DIR) Post #AvHCTeFmAlxOGClCOu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-23T15:53:01Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
me: *cleaning table* u done eating this?whimsical elderly man: nope! i'll save it for later. i'll need the energy when im popping pills
(DIR) Post #AvHCTfDKbLazEuclEG by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-27T19:44:06Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
I think last week at work, I've been more socially adept than I ever have in my entire life. I was assigned to take orders most the time, so I got to work out "default courtesies" better. And I made screamo guy of all people genuinely laugh, I might be figuring out how to be funny offline? Bantered with tired guy a lot when I was helping him too.
(DIR) Post #AvHCTg7hDmgM3izm5I by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-28T22:53:07Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
starting to develop a superstition: if you yell at the workers cause the cafe's outta milk to sell or some shit, nitpick how there's the wrong amount of olives in your salad or how we don't have enough trashcans or whatever, then you'll continue to experience bad and worse things here in the future. we won't even be doing it intentionally, we'll be trying our best cause we're scared of your outbursts, but then the universe will give you what you deserve
(DIR) Post #AvHCTgbpPkmjZB5q3E by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-30T00:14:12Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
cartoon lady apparently tried to run away from home when she was little. for some reason, she announced it to her mom first, and that convo went like this:cartoon lady: im LEAVING this placeher mom: your fatass is gon be HUNGRYcartoon lady: i already packed snacks!her mom: i got chicken cooking!cartoon lady: yo chicken NASTY anywayher mom: well, see u at 8!cartoon lady: no u aint! *scampers out door*she didnt make it past 8:10
(DIR) Post #AvHCTh6fZ5SH6pWT7g by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-05-30T00:33:23Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
why do so many of my coworkers have a story abt drunk dancing to country music at 2am
(DIR) Post #AvHCThk1Cmvl4rvtSK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-03T19:00:09Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
the company who makes the ice cream we serve in this cafe came out with a new cake-inspired flavor, so we're now serving it. my coworkers are all big fansfrumpy lady: this is amazing!train guy: it's like crack!frumpy lady: have you tried it yet?me: nofrumpy lady: *straight up scrapes a ball of it from the bucket and shoves it in my mouth*it's alright but it'd prolly kill me if I have more then that lol
(DIR) Post #AvHCTiU6RRnHNnUhHs by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-03T22:00:06Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
that overly flirty old lady: ill order a grilled cheese!me: okay *putting it in on the computer* flirty old lady: you're cuteme: *awkward polite smile* anything else u want?flirty old lady: i want youuu
(DIR) Post #AvHCTjEtdTDxivO4Dw by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-05T22:18:56Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
most tragic thing is that the most meltdown-prone hardest to work with patron of this cafe has the most drip. she came in wearing this skirt with a pattern of yellow louis wain type cats, yellow tinted glasses, a bell necklace, a white blouse and a few other dashes of yellow and white and cats that really all just fit perfectly together
(DIR) Post #AvHCTk3EcJUSF2wGga by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-09T23:08:08Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
me: alright, and what cheese would u like on that?button eyed old guy: american! in his time of need i gotta support donald trump! *expectantly looking for my smile*me: mhm
(DIR) Post #AvHCTkmFuvVEUg0DrM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-09T23:32:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
me: *collecting used silverware*old guy: [deadname], i rate people from 1 to 10, and you're a 20!bro its only been a month and a half from when u first moved here, and ur only interactions with me are ordering shit and being delighted when u found out my parents are ex-missionaries. chill
(DIR) Post #AvHCTllwDaqJZyrU0G by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-10T00:26:33Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
whimsical old guy's wife: how many people are in your family?me: *explains our deal*wife: wow! so many siblings! in alabama i visited a nursing home... this older lady told me she had thirteen siblings! she looked off in the distance and said "mom never had enough time for me" she sounded so sad!me: yeah it can get like that sometimes
(DIR) Post #AvHCTmgeoiDGPtOmPY by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-10T05:06:04Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
learned new lore about past coworkers. aside from the audhd amish guy who wanted to say the n word, there's also a guy who saw grill lady wearing a lesbian themed joke t-shirt for a bit and started ranting at her about how she'd go to hell for ten minutes in front of another past coworker, a nonbinary fifteen year old who quit a week later. some of my coworkers eventually got the guy to become atheist, but the damage was already done.also another guy is now apparently a viral tiktoker, which might be the reason he quit, and mightve met shane gilis from it? (of all people lol)
(DIR) Post #AvHCTncRLsQxJ6QvTc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-10T23:45:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"her nephew's new haircut looks like it could take out a palestinian colony!" - local accent ladybotched haircuts seem to be a recurring theme working here lol
(DIR) Post #AvHCToQQM2Pro7oqO0 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-11T22:36:09Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
local accent lady told a story about how her niece got picked for a top level nursing position or something, but had to turn it down cause she couldn't afford a babysitter for all the hours she would've worked
(DIR) Post #AvHCTpK516w4ajrI8W by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-12T04:59:37Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy told us he drove to another state? for some waffle house at 2AM and wasn't back till 7:45. he describes it like some sort of transitory place where u can't remember anything after u set foot inside, and only start recording new experiences again after u leave.
(DIR) Post #AvHCTq705E4F2SkMO8 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-12T21:38:15Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
apparently cartoon lady got fired? i heard some shit abt her constantly being on probation and having a new job lined up already
(DIR) Post #AvHCTqh9umzUqbfEkS by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-12T23:06:04Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
to replace her, jewish guy hired two new employees who genuinely look like 12 years old, child labor is back baybeeee
(DIR) Post #AvHCTrPpEiih58YuMy by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-17T20:07:34Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy's back from warped tour. he went around the cafe with a big grin showing us all 6 different videos of him crowdsurfing shirtless as bowling for soup and machine gun kelly played
(DIR) Post #AvHCTrvjK6Eyg5UO6C by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-17T22:59:15Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
the other day we served garlic bread. as i was throwing it out afterwards i stuck a piece in my mouth, then a bunch of girls who worked another part of this place showed up and were like NOOOOO DONT THROW OUT THE GARLIC BREAD CAN WE HAVE SOME PLEEEEEASE and i made MHM noises with my mouth stuffed and they went yippie and started taking selfies of themselves acting like me and shit
(DIR) Post #AvHCTseOe1yAucO3ii by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-19T03:02:37Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
i got tipped for the first time the other day. a bunch of old ladies ordered with one lady's credit card. afterwards, when they decided to split the bill, i had to fish through the register transaction history to find all seven order prices, then ran to the back to grab pen n paper and copy it down for them, all after first checking the receipts, realizing they were gonna be useless, then problem solving it on my own. i made the last price up cause i fucked up processing that order when i took it. whole time the one old lady was effusively sorry for putting me through all the trouble, came up and slipped me the 10$ bill after they were done eating
(DIR) Post #Avis8ntmgR3WZfJTpQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-20T00:29:15Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
work today started slow, i felt tired despite not having done anything. we were gonna serve a juneteenth themed dinner, i collected cornbread from the slovakian baker, my coworkers were mocking the dessert (never caught what it was) like "who came up with this?" "the whitest person ever".we opened, i lethargically delivered food and whatnot. then grill lady's phone lit up with a tornado warning. she went "umm it says to shelter in the basement immediately" and he replied "itll be FIIIINNNEEE keep working". the lights started flickering, the whole order line paused. she went off to train guy and i about jewish guy like "wtf bro its literally a tornado i might just book it"then the entire building's power got knocked out. everything was pitch black for a few minutes till emergency power came on, even then it was only enough for a few lights, doors, and shit. all our fridges, warmers, drink machines, and everything were dead save for the water lever, so at least ppl could drink. cause the computers were down, every order was lost, so jewish guy reverted us to the old ways again. i served thawing salads and cooling soup n pizza to the line, then shifted to cleaning the eating area. out the giant high up windows, i could see the trees getting absolutely bullied by the torrential rain and wind and hail. a traffic pole or something was pulled across em but luckily didnt break em. someone said "nothing says juneteenth like a blackout!"everybody was noticeably nicer, more helpful. its well documented that people get more altruistic in a disaster together. misanthropycels stay losing. dont remember much else, its been a blur. nurses were rushing to get everyone kept alive by downed machines emergency power, hope none of them died.im in my grandparents apartment. my great-aunts are visiting, the one whos a minister told me stories of serving ppl coffee during hurricane ike. shed conveniently brought a box of ABIDE WITH CHRIST branded flashlights. im now in the blackened bathroom, remembering as one lights me.
(DIR) Post #Avis8ot70Q71ds0SQ4 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-24T21:30:49Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
recently at work I've been operating the register with those two new kids. i trained the first one, who looks like one of my little brothers back when he was 12. the other one already knew. ill be calling this one sonic kid cause within the first 5 minutes starting our shift i saw him open up his sonic wallpaper phone to like sonic fanart on twitter
(DIR) Post #Avis8pUgkiAbWPaSzQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-26T04:14:44Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
today i got to work serving up hot entrees rather than just taking orders, carrying soup salad and pizza, and cleaning shit. for the first time since cartoon lady first trained me, and since the new system, so it's a bit more finicky than i remember due to the computers. this aspect i was taught by one of those twins i mentioned. went well, he seems competent. there was one interruption where he whipped out his phone and started sexting with "mommy muffin" but no biggie lmao
(DIR) Post #Avis8q6GV0EBOxATYm by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-06-30T23:32:23Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
me: *walks up to whimsical old man with his food, then notices his american railroad building t-shirt with old-looking trains all over it* big fan of that train shirt by the waywhimsical old guy: thanks! it's a testament to chinese labor
(DIR) Post #Avis8xmLwv3NDVugdM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-01T00:13:16Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
me: *taking off my hairnet and flipping my hair loose after a fast-paced shift*slovakian baker: *sudden wide grin* ayyy you listen to heavy metal?me: some of it. some of everything!slovakian baker: back in my day everyone with hair like dat listen to guns n roses, ac/dc, all dat crapme: yeah my dad's told me
(DIR) Post #Avis95OBeeTaosfV4q by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-01T01:20:25Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
today the woker seniors set up a little table with pride flags and various desserts for this last day of pride month. they saw us workers waiting for opening time and were like hey everybody come eat. most i ever celebrated pride month in my life, with just a piece of chocolate cake and a rice krispy treat. screamo guy mysteriously mentions that he "can say it"
(DIR) Post #Avis9DyzhgfjTLx0Yi by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-01T02:06:55Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
in the last minutes of the shift, sitting and watching the manager inspect everything, order people to take care of the last few bits before we all got to go home, and it was beautiful. i really admire when a movie is able to make a long shot with a static camera interesting, and this felt like it shoulda been one of those. just the silence of the cafe empty save for us, the way their bodies were arranged in relation to the counters and machines.
(DIR) Post #Avis9LzHwTf2Ia9M80 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-01T16:34:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
with a few of my coworkers i get the vibe id have a friend for life if i said the right thing. like his acting outta pocket aside screamo guy and i got a lot in common (prolly from the autism, bisexuality, suicidality) and sonic kid seems like the type of person who id be running into alot on fedi lol
(DIR) Post #Avis9TSGB9zjSSl5l2 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-02T01:14:58Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
there was a celebration for the workers by the residents of this place. they gave us bonus checks in addition to our usual paychecks. i left it sitting out and forgot it cause i was thinking about other shit, mainly songwriting. train guy got it, ran over to me, and gave me "life lessons from train guy" time along with it
(DIR) Post #Avis9bVOFPFgQUHhkO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-02T03:45:25Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
speaking of train guy, he's gotten yet another haircut, buzzed off his afro. he looks like a whole nother person, especially from how it changes the way hats fit on his head
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnPhTN2mOAJ990q by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-02T23:34:42Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
work recently's been a subtle hell.
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnQwOl2JS0t8Zuq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-04T00:28:19Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
just learned that that most volitaile patron of this cafe i mentioned before doesn't have enough income to keep affording living here, and is starting to try shit like sowing clothes and selling them. feel like this explains it
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnRzGrqClG5UO24 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-08T16:56:59Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
employee training day for me. it took me a literal hour and conversations with three higher-ups to figure out how to log into the computer. the design of the sexual abuse information feels like some sort of old-web bit. i have to sit through the audio to access the next section even though i can't hear it and ive already read the text anyway. there's a badge hanging beside me that reads "I'm PROUD to be part of a ZERO DEFICIENCY TEAM!!" (the two exclamation points were actually there). everything is psychotic
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnSxBH67wFtWEPg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-08T17:57:18Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"that's the limbic system. it's the part of your brain that says vroooom vrrroooooom!" - dementia training video lady
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnUDAb8Vk9m0VyS by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-08T22:00:06Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
train guy told us he thought the ocean was bigger than space. the slovakian baker told us he thought kids didn't have allergies before 1992
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnV2DXLLOi5tHXc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-08T23:10:27Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy's a lot more down than usual cause he just ended a 7 year relationship, and he puts most of the blame on the fact she's going to college and he has no idea wtf to do with his life. he brought up multiple times that it felt like half his life, at least cause he couldn't remember his earliest years.
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnVnMi33f4Jww1w by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-09T21:00:16Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: *exaggerated italian accent* i have created breast implantè! *proudly shows off balled up plastic wrap*train guy: *scandalized face*screamo guy: feel itè! is exactly like real thing, no?me: take the deli knife and add it to yourselfscreamo guy: *instantly drops joke voice* nah that would pop it
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnWaHmABpW2q0HY by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-09T21:54:56Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: i can't tell if you're the happiest person here or horrifically depressed and just good at masking itme: customer service expert, add that shit to my resume
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnXpv7WI3OpA0I4 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-09T23:59:44Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
so there's this one lady here who wears a maga hat around seemingly 24/7, she's the one from earlier in the thread who was telling her friends how trans people were evil. every time i walk up to her from behind to deliver her food (almost always something with cheetos on the side, she's apparently tryna embody every generic liberal joke), the back of her hat is caked in a thick layer of dirt and grime. genuinely looks as if she hasn't washed it since the 2020 run, the year it's dated. i feel like if u love trump this much u should at least wash his holy iconography idk
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnYfK2PPHyFD3PU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-10T17:16:07Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
there's this one lady here who randomly gives me perfumes and colognes as gifts. idk what she's thinking. it can't be that im particularly smelly cause all us workers are sweaty running around with 4 trash bags past boiling machines. is she doing an old timey "oh this charming young man must be taking girls out to formal dining halls tryna find a wife ill help out". does she just have way too many of them and picked a random person
(DIR) Post #Aw9qng6sMMbf3j9epU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-10T23:17:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
as we were waiting around at the register with nothing to do, sonic kid typed "kris dreamurr" into the resident search box. i was gonna jokingly bring it up later at an opportune time to make contact, but when the time came and i said "yo" right at him he didn't pick up and we continued the shift normally. fun to be a slightly more confident autistic person around ones as scared as you were once
(DIR) Post #Aw9qnoM3hnVMd8Jtbc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-14T23:27:58Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
one cute thing is that afro guy is the son of one of the chefs, and they both have the same name, so everybody calls afro guy by the first half of the name and his dad by the second
(DIR) Post #AwBzwyhHPz9JkBHROS by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-15T18:02:39Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: hey [deadname] you remember when we lived back in the farm?me: *nods*screamo guy: do you still live there?me: *nods*screamo guy: do you drink cow milk straight from the tit?me: i drink cow pee, there's a differencescreamo guy's sister: *scandalized face*
(DIR) Post #AwBzx6MIvr7lVRWnoG by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-15T18:40:08Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
apparently someone got one of screamo guy's relatives drunk in montana and then tattooed a swastika on him
(DIR) Post #AwBzxDyqax7990cBMG by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-15T19:18:03Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
train guy: *starts playing morgan wallen out loud and dancing to it*screamo guy: what is this ai musictrain guy: it's not ai! look! *shows phone with morgan on it*screamo guy: ai music
(DIR) Post #AwBzxLfe0EVUzlgxXM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-15T23:23:57Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"diddy has nothing on me" - screamo guyat what point do i start to get concerned lol
(DIR) Post #AwVEiOUcPyeoii6IXg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-16T18:43:34Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Fredrick the whimsical elderly man seems to have done some astronomy type work before he retired. ive overheard him talking it in general, as well as stuff about the design of the hubble and james-webb telescopes, multiple times. and the other day he drew a diagram of some telescope components and their angles on a napkin before mumbling a little tongue twister like "green goopy ..... .... ... telescope ...."
(DIR) Post #AwVEiPtTD48944jeuu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-21T23:21:32Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
*i walk up to the cafe, both screamo guy and afro guy run up* both at once: heyyy [deadname] wanna replace me at the register?me, looking at afro guy: oh uh surescreamo guy: HEY i asked a second before he didme: do a coin tossafro guy: im tails!*screamo guy gets a coin from the register and tosses it to the floor. its tails*afro guy: hahahaha
(DIR) Post #AwVEiQvdMVSIH4ktvc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-21T23:29:49Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
grill lady: hey guyssss guess what i got *proudly pulls it out the bag* A STITCH LABUBU! it looks like stitch from lilo and stich and it's soooo cute!screamo guy: that's gotta be expensive as shitgrill lady: i actually got lucky and won it from a claw machine so it was a lot cheaper than it woulda beenscreamo guy, the second she was outta earshot: man i fucking hate labubus
(DIR) Post #AwVEiReef7T4Whor6O by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-22T00:14:32Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
me: *doodles weird occult duck headed car being*screamo guy, in a sort of used to my bullshit way: [deadname] what the hell is thatme: *hands it to him*him: it's you. cause you're the same heighthis sister, approaching him: no it's you, cause it has a big nosescreamo guy: *sighs* [deadname], do you know why she said thatme: ...screamo guy: cause im jewish
(DIR) Post #AwVEiSV7W3R39QMksa by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-25T20:12:54Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
hanging with the new guy who missed his first day of work and vapes in the locker room. he shows me his girl's insta. clunky, stumbling over the app's bullshit why sincerely tryna convey why he loved her so much to keep it going since seventh grade. "when u find one like her, never let her go."
(DIR) Post #AwVEiTWZi8C2KE3Qmm by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-25T20:21:31Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
im in the grimy bathroom stall again. i need to scream or cry or gnaw my fingers off or stab anything with the deli knife or jump in the trash compactor. i am the boiling soup container waiting to be delivered to our cafe. it's only gotten worse in the last few days. im used to it. back to work before im in trouble.train guy laughs at grill lady's joke. new guy goes "who laugh like that" and he starts laughing harder. "got his ass" i whisper over. they're tryna load chicken salad platters into the fridge and the laughing is just getting worse. he's bending, clutches the counter. i help grill lady, who's starting to get infected too, load the last in cause train guy's struggling to not drop them.he makes his way to the other side of the cafe. it's getting worse. he falls to the floor, says his sides hurt in between peals of laughter. screamo guy tries berating him but joins him. grill lady can't resist. new kid walks up and joins. then everyone's doubled over crying laughing and can't stop. it's like mass hysteria in an english village. i don't have ergot poisoning to theorize about, only sugar and energy drinks and inconsistent hand washing. im still boiling in my own self loathing, the laughter is forced upon me, blurry hallucination world of pain and joy taking turns stabbing me with both their extreme ends. the sugary drink i had earlier as a misguided cope for my emotions is boring a hole through my stomach when Ive long had a hole bored through reality.the manager walks in. we struggle back together. screamo guy compares new guy to druski for some reason.
(DIR) Post #AwWkU5IUNiRWp5bj04 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-25T21:37:07Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
my youngest brother visited for dinner at work the other day. nothing notable happened, just got him his grilled cheese. but while my dad was loading him onto the van when they left, new guy apparently saw his shirt with the christian shit written in persian on it, and shouted out "SALAM ALAYKUM!" my dad was a lil rusty but he responded wa alaikum salam in a bit. he ended up tryna explain how we weren't muslim but used to live in muslim nations after he got "is [deadname] muslim too? thats so tight!" according to my dad he came off very intrigued by the concept of white people knowing anything about muslims, really rotating that shit in his mind
(DIR) Post #AwWkj9tfYv9NQsBbcm by twinspin6@outerheaven.club
2025-07-26T13:58:50.774186Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev whimsical telescope fascination 👁
(DIR) Post #AwhNFuZTUpfXIQCeNE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-28T21:20:10Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
everytime i walk into the kitchen one of the uncs running shit will go [DEADNAME]!!! really long and loud, come over for a fist bump, and ask what's up. i never know what the natural interaction through these are, especially since i usually gotta quickly pop in to grab something, and they're starting to gossip about the few times they've heard me clearly speak. gotta start googling and memorizing more responses to people in general, im too autistic to form something on the spot for now
(DIR) Post #AwhNFvFIzJ85O9m3Zg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-29T10:46:25Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
new guy and i took orders, and as we were setting up shop, he started CACKLING at his phone, showed me. it was just an ig post with the words "bubblegum, bubblegum, in a dish, how many fat bitches think they thick"
(DIR) Post #AwhNFvwuNC0XZOAsXQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-29T20:11:46Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
*one old couple here walks up to me* heyyy [deadname] we're big fans of those drawings you leave on the to go tray labels, we collected some and took it to our son, who's a graphic designer at [company i dont remember]. he said "that kid's got talent!" just wanted you to know
(DIR) Post #AwhNFwvsiUmScUhZZo by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-30T00:28:21Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
sparkle lady: hey u got a pen?me: none at cold expo, ill get one from the office *starts heading past the storage nook screamo guy's sorting in*screamo guy: hey [deadname] we should do coke togetherme: *deadpan voice* maybeheard him snickering as i headed into the kitchen
(DIR) Post #AwhNFxaIIF6gdpbqZE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-30T00:44:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
i have a name for the new guy. insta guy, cuz he's showing everyone stuff from there on his phone. also have a name for the one new kid who looked like my little brother. bruh kid, cuz he says that more than anyone ive ever seen. funny thing is i suspect insta guy is actually younger than bruh kid they just both look real different from their ages
(DIR) Post #AwhNFyOzFlelB3KKa8 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-30T02:19:20Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
*somebody (dont remember who) is drinking strawberry milk*train guy: hey [bruh kid] you fuck with strawberry milk?bruh kid: nah bruh it'll make me sickscreamo guy: do you put chocolate powder in your milk or drink it plainbruh kid: always chocolatescreamo guy: ooooh, always chocolate, he can say ittrain guy: *scandalized face*
(DIR) Post #AwhNFyyn6eIQy64vOC by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-07-31T16:57:40Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
insta guy: two crazy things about me: i never hold grudges and i dont get madme: what would challenge thathim: huh?me: like what would get u madhim: only my girl can get me madme: so it's the person not the action?him: huh?me: *lil smile* like if someone killed ur dog would that get u mad?him: *confused smile* huh?me: *involuntary laugher* like if u had a pet dog, and someone who wasn't ur girl killed it, would that get u mad?him: *bigger confused smile* who got killed the girl or the dog?me: *almost crying laughing atp* if someone who WASN'T ur girl killed that doghim: oh i wouldn't get mad. cause it's not my girl 😎looking back part of the problem was that, only just around this time, i noticed his left ear was an almost solid mass of burn wound. in this context something he was wearing earlier has gotta be a hearing aid, which he didn't have then.
(DIR) Post #AwlHhH6S0crZu58E1w by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-02T14:14:20Z
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remebering a few days ago at work Fredrick pointed out that the menu listing for tossed trinity salad that day was spelled "tossed trinty salad" and then we both started calling it that for funsies. he's so goated it pisses me off how do i develop such on the spot skill
(DIR) Post #AwlHvWGERwLmy7V0Mq by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-08-02T14:16:53Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev i feel like you have such skill. you are creative and charismatic, i think
(DIR) Post #AwsJ1ZMLInNqNQWdfs by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-05T23:32:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: [deadname] are you gay?me: *weird lil side to side head motion and smile*istg this mf did the homophobic dog face in real life lmao
(DIR) Post #AwsJ5bLFsD3jgRwIgi by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-08-05T23:32:54Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev :(
(DIR) Post #AwsJBJbSjoMePEFF68 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-05T23:33:57Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@yujiri no im pretty sure hes not homophobic its the I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE energy lol
(DIR) Post #AwsJDcVjPXkRcrfBWC by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-08-05T23:34:19Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev oh
(DIR) Post #Awu5QdHcq96AkCIOye by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-06T20:09:16Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
oh god one of the new guys is an extremely clocky trans man, like u can see the binder through the back of his shirt. ive already heard train guy doing the exaggerated "is you a him she them shem ughhh" bit to the twins, gonna see how other ppl act when he isn't around
(DIR) Post #AwuChKcMBtvJSJu1Fg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-06T21:30:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"this bitch [his phone] really said share your location, do n****s really be sharing locations on instagram bro? couldn't be me" - insta guy
(DIR) Post #AwuS5iYkKI0ByLIeky by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-07T00:23:12Z
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*singer guy and grill lady discuss alcohol. something he says about tequila makes me smile. he notices my reaction*singer guy: ohh- *turns with a gleam-in-his-eye type look, knowing full well im not old enough to legally drink* [deadname] whatchu drinkinggggme: *hands in the air, involuntary laugh, leaving to handle dishes*singer guy: *cackling with grill lady* CMON WHATCHU DRINKING [DEADNAME]let it be known that i have not violated the law and only know more than i should about everything 🙏
(DIR) Post #AwuSdm2rs9Pqd4d1Hs by FiringSquadsEnjoyer@social.xenofem.me
2025-08-07T00:26:05.546321Z
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@detondev its literally 1984 that you cant even drink until you're 21, like in the uk about a third of the people i know have developed a drinking problem and then made a big thing of permanently "quitting" alcohol and then just starting to drink again after like 6 weeks but with a bit more moderation by age 19
(DIR) Post #AwuSdn7rr30dyryWie by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-07T00:29:20Z
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@FiringSquadsEnjoyer incapable of imagining anyone with that backstory as anything but a 62 year old man with flappy cheeks and a newsboy cap
(DIR) Post #Awwa1wOE9RVHep0elE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-08T01:01:34Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
this isn't funny with text and censored names, but today it clicked in screamo guy's head that jewish guy's last name sounds eerily similar to "crabs" and so he really loudly went "MR [ ] I HAVE AN IDEEEEAAAAA" in a 90% accurate spongebob imitation
(DIR) Post #Ax4ldi40W7vyzSRYe0 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-11T23:49:20Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
today we figured out that, for some reason, the computer's allowed everyone the ability to open the cash register rather than just managers. screamo guy was lowkey freaking out having us all take turns logging in and hitting the button, each person newer and more of a security risk
(DIR) Post #Ax4p739zSYeOgEvM3M by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-12T00:28:12Z
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*im in a side room sorting washed silverware. i hear insta guy say something, muffled*screamo guy, louder: bro what the fuck are you sayinginsta guy: you dont understand slang?screamo guy: that's not slang that's speaking in tongues*lil more arguing, screamo guy goes to afro guy and recounts the whole thing to him like have u ever heard this* afro guy: nah i haven'tscreamo guy: bro i grew up in [too local to not censor] if its slang id know it*i finish and start heading over*afro guy: [insta guy] what did you say?insta guy: *repeats first thing he said while sorta cry-laughing, i once again wasn't close enough to make it out, but close enough to hear "bip" this time*screamo guy: see, what the hell is "bip", this isn't slangme: nah i hear people say bip sometimes that's not tonguesscreamo guy: *starting to cry-laugh too* bip? Bip? BIP?
(DIR) Post #Ax4t281EMpZI7NjfHM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-12T01:12:12Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
while waiting for the manager to check everything and send us home afro guy, insta guy, and i talked shop abt the fine art of sneaking food outta the cafe. rules are we're allowed to eat some stuff while we're here but not to take it out for some reason. afro guy taught insta guy to hide it in the lobby chairs outside the cafe, but i just wait a minute so everyone's gone lol. dessert lady heard us and came over to lecture insta guy abt the rules, afro guy lied on the spot (terrifyingly smooth too lol) that the manager gave him permission, insta guy made something up abt how he helped the manager with the table numbers (way less smooth, uh um uh delivery), and i chipped in a few "mhm"s to back em up till she left
(DIR) Post #Ax6nf9oFQtX9YYoHNQ by OneRatOneVerySmallTrenchCoat@social.xenofem.me
2025-08-12T23:15:39.381347Z
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@detondev I think I’m with him for once. Um what does bip mean?
(DIR) Post #Ax6nfAfmDsLsEZr1oO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-12T23:21:25Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@OneRatOneVerySmallTrenchCoat i stole it -> i bipped it
(DIR) Post #Ax6rBeWF5fWNvhZgbg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-13T00:00:55Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
it feels like a principle of the universe that each of my off days will be when all the managers are close and present to watch me take orders with a lost voice or lethargically deliver food around
(DIR) Post #Ax6rh1modJSn4LHsyO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-13T00:06:32Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
it feels like a principle of the universe that each of my worst days will be when all the managers are close and present to watch me take orders with a lost voice or lethargically deliver food around
(DIR) Post #Ax92dFOBbVn3uX5S1g by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-14T01:18:34Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
insta guy doodled a "penguin mink" on a slip of paper and put it on part of the cafe wall!! its fire!!
(DIR) Post #AxBcShgi2E179swV3Q by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-15T07:09:30Z
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thursday dinner shift was stressful cuz i got trained on hotline again, which is waiting around till a bunch of ppl come in and u run out of zucchini and burn ur hand on a green bean. shoutout grill lady shes nicer than everybody else when training someone.singer guy was starting to lose it between my inexperience and insta guy's even greater inexperience (bro took out the whole pizza we made when an order came up instead of just one slice 💀)singer guy: man im so done with this place, [deadname] gimme ur phone number soon ill call u tell u dont come to work todaytrain guy: HEY why u only telling [deadname] and not mesinger guy: u know we both off on the same day!! *he and train guy fist bump*
(DIR) Post #AxBfcfcuqwIfWYc1z6 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-15T07:44:55Z
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thursday dinner shift was stressful cuz i got trained on hotline again, which is basically waiting around eating coffee ice cream till a bunch of ppl come in and u run out of zucchini and burn ur hand on a green bean. shoutout grill lady shes nicer than everybody else when training someone.
(DIR) Post #AxBzHQDOxJ6SjCp7UO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-15T11:25:10Z
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singer guy was starting to lose it between my inexperience and insta guy's even greater inexperience (bro took out the whole pizza we made when an order came up instead of just one slice 💀)singer guy: man im so done with this place, [deadname] gimme ur phone number soon ill call u tell u dont come to work todaytrain guy: HEY why u only telling [deadname] and not mesinger guy: u know we both off on the same day!! *he and train guy fist bump*
(DIR) Post #AxCazkek0xAtAcc2oi by anjune@chaosfem.tw
2025-08-15T18:27:44Z
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@detondev “I know what you could be, but I’m not it either. Let’s forever contrast the acts of charity, ingenuity, curiosity, creativity and compassion we believe we are capable of with what actually makes it into our daily consciousness”
(DIR) Post #AxCbn19rRuhWXWf1KC by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-15T18:36:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@shroomie too much manosphere content can do that to a guy
(DIR) Post #AxCd4usRdkLkE6c3xw by candle@timetheft.social
2025-08-15T18:50:53Z
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@detondev this one so fucking real
(DIR) Post #AxJK9gpkk5eP64dUSu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-19T00:22:04Z
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insta guy: noooo, NOOOooo, not lil babyyy!! afro guy and i come over to see whats upinsta guy: *shows us his phone with a yt vid open titled "Jayda Wayda EXPOSES Lil Baby For Being ON The DL| EXPOSES His Sugar Daddy"* first they got gunna, now lil baby! who next!?
(DIR) Post #AxKxS2kQ61M5e2qNvM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-19T19:17:05Z
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*train guy, trans guy, yet another new guy, and i are discussing local fast food restaurants, they've established outback steakhouse is overrated and McDonalds is trash, among other things"new guy: bro i worked at the wendy's and its the most ghetto trashy place, you ever been to [some grill i forget]?train guy: thats trash. yall ever been to nifty fifties?trans guy: i LOVE nifty fifties!train guy: also trash, and too expensivenew guy: bro you been saying everything's trash or overrated this whole time, like what do you eattrain guy: no places, they all trashme: people
(DIR) Post #AxLw3io2gIW03EKwkK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-20T06:36:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
honestly the culture of this cafe has made my sense of humor much edgier, and thats both a good and bad thing in different ways
(DIR) Post #AxNNCqZS4cUYex32Bs by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-20T23:15:06Z
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today was easily the worst day ive had working here. got put on hotline again and did so ridiculously bad jewish guy came in and replaced me halfway through so i just wandered around finding shit to do and somehow sucking at that now too, pretty sure half the coworkers were shit talking me to the two new guys over it, and to top it off my stash of leftover pizza got found and taken by someone
(DIR) Post #AxNV74mT7yUGcutbE0 by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-08-21T00:43:40Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev oh no :(
(DIR) Post #AxNn7yMwFa10CnX0Sm by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-21T04:05:33Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
on the bright side, sparkle mom clocked i was mentally struggling and attempted to help me with half-baked pop self care advice tier shit, but i appreciate the thought. also i got my appearance compared to a girl for the first time! before its been david bowie, the beatles, and most of all elvesinsta guy: yo you ever seen gravity falls?me: nah ive just seen some clipshim: you look like that one redhead chick who a lil goth. lemme look shawty up *voicegoogles gravity falls characters and beefs with ai generated online lists for a bit before finding a family photo with the character* YOOOOOO SHE REALLY LOOK LIKE YOU i may tell a joke but i never tell a lie
(DIR) Post #AxXQHM6N1iz33Jszya by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-25T19:36:37Z
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screamo guy is back from a week off and he has fucking braids now. he looks like post malone if he didnt have facial hair, what is with haircuts in this place yall. apparently his brother has crazy military money recently and said hed pay for literally anything as long as it was some typa braids
(DIR) Post #AxaqHTRauP4q6gPUtU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-27T11:12:04Z
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anime guy: *starts speeding down the hall on a dishes cart* WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *puts his feet on the ground right before it crunches into me* sorry! *laughs more* im not gonna-me: commit next time okay
(DIR) Post #AxaucmdHA4UDW5I5j6 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-27T12:00:45Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
anime guy: *starts speeding down the hall on a dishes cart* WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *puts his feet on the ground right before it crunches into me* sorry! *laughs more* im not gonna-me: commit next time okay
(DIR) Post #AxawcICoUHZJ3do5g0 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-27T12:23:07Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
got official confirmation that afro guy is train guy's brother, their differing last names threw me off. they got nothing in common but glasses and skin color
(DIR) Post #Axbn4zdbnR0LU8LZL6 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-27T22:10:57Z
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the other day, chain guy (im calling this new guy chain guy cuz hes the only one in the cafe who always has his chain prominent) told us more abt his old "ghetto wendy's job" he mentioned before. apparently their managers kid got mad at him over some problem with the order and punched him in the face, and he only got away with it cuz chain guy literally just turned 18 beforehand
(DIR) Post #AxbnYQ00reiNdorDUm by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-08-27T22:16:15Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev vruh :(
(DIR) Post #Axc88FFGK6LJnRLojg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-28T02:06:50Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
dessert lady used to work at a hospital that just straight up forgot abt her even now that she quit and got hired here, never took her out of system, so she still gets amd illegally accepts checks for the menial job she aint actually doing. irl david graeber moment lmao
(DIR) Post #Axc8N0AceZJBO1DX2O by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-08-28T02:09:30Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev lmao. i'd love to be in that position
(DIR) Post #AxdqGhCOrjNpx3oPCq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-08-28T21:56:06Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
one of the chef's is advertising his wife's new soul food stand by sticking flyers for it up in the men's locker room n shit, need people who do this for me one day
(DIR) Post #AxopRgUpr7KPk5fbiy by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-03T05:08:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
train guy: yo [deadname] can u pass me the red- i mean green bucketme: *does that*grill lady: [deadname] you shoulda said HELL NAH BOI SHUT YO BISH ASS UP
(DIR) Post #AxpNi984Z23ZcX2neC by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-03T11:32:40Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
remembering things i never recorded in this thread cuz too much shit happens here and they got overshadowed. train guy telling cartoon lady and i abt his many sexual escapades, including accidentally banging two sisters and stringing along a latina with bpd cuz he didn't wanna see her cry. screamo guy joking about celeste guy being trans to his face. chatting with tired guy abt playing ball with some old pakistani neighbors in gaziantep. train guy asking me if i liked scattered titties or bunched together titties and being surprised i dont give a shit. insta guy passing his hidden vape around the locker room. screamo guy's deranged pokemon lootcrate and sports betting habits
(DIR) Post #AxqVE6bqMUXHuR7EZM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-04T00:31:34Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
lmaooo screamo guy already got rid of his braids
(DIR) Post #AxroB9vRfVWJc2YKNE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-04T15:38:40Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"thank god i got the kind of congestive heart failure where they tell you to drink more not less" - one of the old ladies who frequent this cafe
(DIR) Post #AxsRe6KU0wyX4N3V1k by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-04T23:00:50Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: [deadname] do you curse?me: *nods*him: i dont fucking believe youhe's heard me curse at least three times since i started my male persona vibe's just too christian
(DIR) Post #Ay0jA34qtTnmjeF8Wu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-08T22:54:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
this place is already decorating for halloween skaksjskdnsk
(DIR) Post #Ay22tITOak9lnqyMsK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-09T14:10:36Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
me: *accidentally spills spoons and used soup cup on Fredrick the Whimsical Elderly Man while cleaning his table*him: you're smiling... i bet you secretly enjoy doing that!his wife: *serenely* we're happy to bring you pleasure
(DIR) Post #Ay4sjKXtcB9pGfZAwK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-10T23:00:53Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: they just confirmed charlie kirk diedsinger guy: *melodramatic vocal fry* WHYYYY!!?? WHY DID HE HAAAVE TO DIEEEEEEEEE (i cant tell how ironic this man is anymore)screamo guy: he was 31 with a wife and kids. the world is so fucked up dude
(DIR) Post #Ay4ux2XlXiBROjAd6m by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-10T23:25:47Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy's actually in his feelings over this. he repeated it to everyone all night. singer guy was amused, the other new guy i havent given a name to was uneasy and commented that he felt like he was picking and choosing what to be upset about, one lady from the liberal boomer table was on the verge of irl armed-resistance-to-fascist-collaborators-is-necessary posting. swear im watching em get radicalized by current events more and more lol pretty sure some of the elderly whimsical men were talking about attacking ice agents and joking abt the billionare luigi got
(DIR) Post #Ay4vcRF4cRUvs7ARrU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-10T23:33:17Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
chain guy: *learns from his phone* yo, yall know charlie kirk?train guy: no?chain guy: good for you *goes back to his phone*
(DIR) Post #Ay6yHQvXHf0izYcm80 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-11T23:12:30Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
yeah last few days here've been pretty shit, the fucking croutons i was getting on the spot were annoying asf and today the dumbass computer didnt bill my little brother who was visiting and now im banned from taking family member's orders cuz jewish guy half-thought im deliberately stealing for them
(DIR) Post #AyEq3MtB0PHNvmcKa8 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-15T18:18:01Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
this cafe has opened my eyes to how inextricable social life for zoomer guys is from playing one of the Big Games. basically no opportunity to really interact outside work unless u chance into living next to or going to school with, or buying some Big Games and hoping they're on one or two.
(DIR) Post #AyFLfi2TupG36sjRho by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-09-16T00:12:18Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev what are the Big Games?
(DIR) Post #AyFOJBH7Lm0MzCWk6q by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-16T00:41:52Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@yujiri almost always multiplayer top 50% most played current gen aaa and indies everyone knows
(DIR) Post #AyHWSG3e7phyNJz8fA by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-17T01:22:27Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: yo [deadname]me: *walks up*him: *ironically* do you have breast implants? (hes previously doen this with if im gay, if i "like penis", if im a domestic abuse victim, and other strangely connected to my transness-he-cant-possibly-know-about questions)me: you tell mescreamo guy: imma keep being rude to you till one day you crash out, that's the goaltrain guy: the day [deadname] says anything mean you KNOW shits fuckedscreamo guy: yup, the day [deadname] calls someone a name its civil war
(DIR) Post #AyMJDNUxFEwfq8Lp2W by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-19T08:47:46Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
i was in a stall peeing, and then the guy in the stall next to me's name tag fell off his uniform and slid over into my stall. i kicked it back to his side. 'preciate it, he said, causing me to chortle a bit
(DIR) Post #AyMqUm9i7TJVivJlhY by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-19T15:00:33Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
other day at the cafe i pioneered this hot new thing called the Misanthropic Dap. when i came train guy was like "whats good [deadname]! dap me up brotha!" and either from my i-hate-everyone mood or thinking it was the type shit my coworkers find funny, i locked his whole hand when i did it and aggressively swung. "AIIIEEEEEE you gonna break my whole shit off!!" yet another white kid ruining black culture 😔
(DIR) Post #AyNvVvJ4HAV5K61NGi by tang0008@mastodon.social
2025-09-20T03:31:34Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev sometimes you post stuff asking your followers why they follow and the work diary thread is definitely one of my faves
(DIR) Post #AyZneh5upEz9Wpgf32 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-25T21:00:04Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
when you turn on the soup heater, it says "hola" or "bonjour". i find something about that so intriguing. it feels like wandering into a forest and scaring off a unicorn u didnt even know was there.
(DIR) Post #AyZorv6u7r2kiW1J7A by blackknight95857669@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-25T21:13:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev My Ninja Air Fryer + like 10 other operations (it's a fancy deep one with the fry basket and pressure cooker lid and stuff) says "HI" and "BYE" when you turn it on an off.
(DIR) Post #AyiGd7VS6it4ndueki by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-29T23:02:26Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: alt girl: what is that face?screamo guy: what face? im not making a face. [deadname] did i make a face?me: i was coming from behind all i saw was ur hairscreamo guy: i thought u knew everything and saw everythingme: except ur face. the rest of the universe i got coveredscreamo guy: like santa claus. youre the young santa claus
(DIR) Post #AyjsmT2VPM6zbdDXFo by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-09-30T17:44:38Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"[deadname] you're gonna be our mass shooter. anyway wanna pop percs later?" - screamo guy
(DIR) Post #AymRHST3MxhbZEVIQa by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-01T23:20:37Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
what the hell is with all these old ladies tryna get it man. sparkle mom says there's this one retiree here who always makes a beeline for afro guy every time she spots him here and spends the whole time going like oh i love ur smile and similar and does fuck me eyes and exaggerated sighs when she has to go
(DIR) Post #AymUru5ATXYrV5Oy0W by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-02T00:00:48Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
on monday afro guy was trained on making pizza for the very first time. he fucked it up so bad they just threw it out and acted like no pizza was always the plan for the day. today he got assigned that again.me: *walks up to normal looking pizza* imma try ur pizza. if i dont come to work tomorrow...that was the most ive heard laughs from other people while working here.me: *getting back to work getting trash bags* come to my FUNERAL... *heading back to can* tell my grandparents IM SORRY*later on i heard sparkle mom telling singer guy the whole story too. is it happening? am I figuring out delivery? are other irl people gonna find me funny for intentional things i do?
(DIR) Post #AyoTpG32dj1z7RV9gO by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-02T22:58:34Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
insta guy got fired like two weeks ago and they just updated the schedule to reflect that. apparently for getting lit in the middle of the cafe lmao. rip bro was fun while he lasted
(DIR) Post #AywRiGgDFN1wPL2fse by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-06T19:09:04Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
on lunch break today i was tryna read valis, but got my attention totally consumed by listening to screamo guy and afro guy chat next booth over the whole time. they bonded over their divorced parents, discussed how screamo guy abruptly switching from carplay to radio would always blast the most unhinged random ads with screaming sounds and talk of putting guns to heads, brought up sonic kid's autism and speculated on what dessert lady has, bitched about the work schedule and parking and motorcycle tests, and a few other things i dont remember. ugh im so jelly of how easy and continuous it was
(DIR) Post #AywnkgqN8h6t7lM1WS by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-06T23:19:32Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
i got called in to replace chain guy and moved my ass off but at least i got praised a lot today. fairly new resident went to celeste guy to tell him how above and beyond afro guy and i were and how we should get promoted. that guy who said im a 20 out of 10 told me hes upping it to 50
(DIR) Post #AzB4yPtBOLDy1oEsCm by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-13T20:38:26Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
u can TELL when our goated antivaxx slovakian baker isnt here lmao the rolls will look like plastic and rip and crumple in the most mediocre ways
(DIR) Post #AzBCJRO7iFSMRCgQbI by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-13T22:00:38Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
me: *lifts legs in place during dead register time*old lady waiting for food: *starts copying me after im done*me: *notices and starts again*we exercise together and we're smiling n shit :>
(DIR) Post #AzCWOxi99llGNIv38C by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-14T13:20:30Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
its a principle of the universe that an entire crowd will come streaming into the cafe whenever you go to the bathroom
(DIR) Post #AzCiTv2vgsFZ0Ylooq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-14T15:35:45Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
its a principle of the universe that an entire crowd will come streaming into the cafe whenever you go to the bathroom
(DIR) Post #AzFUzhOz8gt64dE4pM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-15T23:48:52Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
we were done early but the managers were throwing a party in the back over some random thing and we had to wait until normal leaving time till they forced some subordinate to leave the party and come check us
(DIR) Post #AzFVohWQS7e1DN1fQ8 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-15T23:58:04Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
beautiful sights from work today:singer guy, train guy, and skull guy (picked for the new guy hired at the same time as chain guy cuz he wore a sparkly purple skull hoodie multiple times), all singing a carti song together while working. all off key and unused to falsetto but beautiful to witness nonethelesssparkle mom talking to my grandma abt how she used to work as a bartender and describing the cleaning machinery she used thereFredrick the Whimsical Elderly Man waving at me with an apple still in his hand. i made him laugh by pretending to eat it
(DIR) Post #AzHD77Kpi2rvfiajOy by phallicmother@eattherich.club
2025-10-16T19:37:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev :)
(DIR) Post #AzHQXpgYjkha9hp51s by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-16T22:08:25Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
we use lil plastic numbers to find where orders are supposed to go. screamo guy was ruffling thru, plucked out number 1, and took it to alt girl with a smilealt girl: why are you showing me this?he turns, comes back, ruffles thru again, and brings her number 3alt girl: *involuntary laugh* why are you showing me this?he comes back again and goes "fuck, i was gonna just bring 1 2 3 4 and so on just to fuck with her but we're missing number 2" he brings her number 4alt girl: wh- is this supposed to be in order? you didnt get 2, dum-screamo guy: i ate italt girl: huh?screamo guy turns and leaves to the bathroom
(DIR) Post #AzRl01GZDMYwqRyy12 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-21T21:44:44Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
feel like the cafe's mostly become predictable. the same seniors'll make the same jokes, the same mixed dudes'll bully eachother for being mixed, the same problems'll keep happening. only now a different problem finally happened. dessert lady cut her thumb and kept working for some reason, so now we gotta throw out half our ice cream supply cuz its stained with her blood
(DIR) Post #AzZ5JsWUmymai5toPI by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-25T10:35:24Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
the other week the cafe celebrated oktoberfest with german foods and a stylized menu. i havent seen them change the menu for a single holiday all year so far, nothing like st patrick's or easter. oktoberfest. its just strange enough to me that im still thinking abt it.
(DIR) Post #AzZT5j8xGOksSufnnc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-25T15:01:45Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
other day yet another new guy started, the replacement for insta guy. imma call him dressing guy cuz he shares a name with one of our salad dressings and ppl wouldnt shut tf up abt it. hes 16 and has a good energy, bizarrely white teeth, seems like hes learning fast. ive been involved in the training of 3-4 ppl since i started, not sure how good i am at teaching
(DIR) Post #AzZUroNpBWweZR7Y1Y by monkey@social.xenofem.me
2025-10-25T15:16:00.864566Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev I love reading about your work exploits because your job seems like a mix of my current job and a previous job I had
(DIR) Post #AzZUrpayg73oKWHZAG by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-25T15:21:38Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@monkey have u explots a work
(DIR) Post #AzZZbfvRMYFHTby9Ls by monkey@social.xenofem.me
2025-10-25T15:23:47.700795Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev yeah I steal everything I can and do as little work as possible ;-D
(DIR) Post #AzZZbgz1Qihkl0eWZc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-25T16:14:45Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@monkey naturally but how bout top five work exploits
(DIR) Post #AzeMbI61jEV75WMRdo by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-27T23:42:36Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
really awkward problem but i used an electronic lock i was required to get when i was hired on my work locker, but the battery's dead, so guess my backpack and work id for clocking in and out and some papers and my flashlight and library copy of valis'll just have to stay the night while i search the internet for what to do. good thing they have a manual write-in-book way of clocking out prepared for when things like this happen
(DIR) Post #Azfzc0ARxlyR8wigQC by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-28T18:34:26Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
other day dressing guy came in even though he wasnt scheduled, cuz the day before, chain guy let him charge his headphones in his truck and hed forgotten to get them before he drove off
(DIR) Post #Azg0z5zYZgAPp0CTw0 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-28T18:49:47Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
other day dressing guy came in even though he wasnt scheduled, cuz the day before, chain guy let him charge his headphones in his truck and hed forgotten to get them before he drove off
(DIR) Post #AzkbeTBZcRW6bwglfc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-10-30T23:59:29Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
october 30 dream sequence the killing moon blasted on loudspeakers as i walked in after doing nothing idk what to draw on these slips anymore every interaction with my grandparents and little brother when they come is so stiff and unnatural something embarrassing in being watched by coworkers we ran outta both pots of tomato bisque soup its outrageously popular and it smelled good like cinnamon train guy spilled a full cup of milk had to remop after he already mopped once i forgot to get the second dishes cart so what i told screamo guy was a lie whoops ate two stolen microwaved pizzas one stolen red velvet two peanut butter vanilla almond granola bagels with honey then parents arrived earlier than usual to pick me up my mom saw dressing guy literally walking to his ride and asked him if he needed a ride cuz hes black. the end.
(DIR) Post #B0NQ7AwZPnEe8faEkq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-11-18T17:23:59Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
afro guy told us that the other day, for fun, he put in an order of some prok products for "john pork", and local accent lady ran around yelling at everybody "WHO IS JOHN PORK!?" increasingly losing it as she tried to find him
(DIR) Post #B0Qg7j8KkTTHabQqcy by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-11-20T07:07:30Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
*afro guy and chain guy are talking, and somehow it gets to the point of chain guy bringing up earth day and its date*afro guy: the fuck is earth daychain guy: u dont know earth day bro? when you clean up the environment? april 22afro guy: u just know the date like that? yo [screamo guy] whats the date of earth dayscreamo guy: *squinting a lil* earth day??afro guy: yo [deadname] did u know thatme: i knew of earth day from like, a google doodle but dont know the date like that*celeste guy walks over*afro guy: yo do u know the date of earth dayceleste guy: hmm *starts counting on his fingers n shit*afro guy: *turns to chain guy* how did u knowchain guy: didnt yall learn about it in school? to be honest i remember the date cuz thats my sister's birthdayafro guy: u suburban, aint nobody in [place in our county] got time for caring about the earthchain guy: yeah yeah... *leans back and sips on his root beer*
(DIR) Post #B0QqBxUqHvWkprcItc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-11-20T09:00:17Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
*washing my hands in the locker room*dressing guy: bro why dont u talk muchme: its like... i got the type of brain where u stop and think about it, ive always been good at writing anddressing guy: ohh so someone says something and ur just cycling and cycling thru the possibilities... i understand bro, i underrrstannnddd*guy sitting on the bench by the coat rack starts blasting the high pitched WHAT IS THIS DIDDY BLUD DOIN ON THE CALCULATOR IS BLUD EINSTEIN meme for no reason*
(DIR) Post #B0XjgbrNRWWh8SXrZw by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-11-23T16:50:24Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
other day i had to get a flu vaccine to keep being employed. had to fiddle around tryna get into my work email account to take a mandatory survey. every single time it takes an hour trying variations on the password i have written down for it, going in to reset it, then realizing there was a character in there untypable on their keyboard. every time. then i went to an in house nurse and got the shot quick. though she didnt do it, i briefly got to interact with the nurse named ena.
(DIR) Post #B0XllOChqJXa8dvdHU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-11-23T17:13:37Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
afterwards i got a ride home from my grandma, got to eat some chocolate chip peanut butter oatmeal cookies she made. on the way out another retired lady asked about the portrait by my sister on her front door, said it looked like maya angelou. and then, grandma confirmed something id only overheard rumors about from the cafe liberal table: she used to have a black lives matter sign up, but the people in charge made her take it down cuz it was "too political." the other lady noted how the maga hat lady still runs around freely.
(DIR) Post #B0cPkItu8XhuI6tAzg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-11-25T23:00:30Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
lmao dressing guy hasnt gotten the shot cuz he's antivaxx. "doorway to hell" he calls it. just went "guess imma get my bag till the deadline." rip bro was fun while he lasted
(DIR) Post #B0cfpQi67voVE6pgdU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-11-26T02:00:44Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
*dressing guy comes over to get a cup while singing a youngboy nba song to himself, stops dead in his tracks, and points at the pizza*dressing guy: pizzaanime guy: pizzame: pizza
(DIR) Post #B0eHmPEx7w8pDN94qG by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-11-26T20:40:41Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
the first time an elderly woman ordered for her husband at this retirement community cafe, i assumed it was cuz he had failing eyesight, or some other old age trouble. people help out others here all the time. then it kept happening, one cracked a joke about hers, and i realized i was used to a significantly woker world where men know more than literally nothing about food and genuinely couldnt survive a menu alone, one the customers originally came from.
(DIR) Post #B0ehwosdFb6YRKKbRY by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-11-27T01:33:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev huh. i'm glad i also live in that woker world...
(DIR) Post #B0gNzJYqXcHPPHuPRY by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-11-27T20:59:40Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
thanksgiving day shift the most empty of all time cuz everyone was going to something else. only like 16 people came maybe? i started snacking mid-shift outta boredom even though its not allowed, first on the pumpkin pie, then on the sugar cookie ice cream (satanic radioactive slop that deserves to be banned by rfk btw)screamo guy: dude, save some room for thanksgiving dinner!me: *shrugs* just tryna kill myself fasterscreamo guy, laughing: YOOOO *turns to singer guy* [deadname] always says the most outta pocket shit outta NOWHERE
(DIR) Post #B0o1kMuNAdTxiX7oZc by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-01T13:28:07Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
i was wiping down a cafe table when i bumped into a decorative fake plant and this paper airplane fell out. it unfolds into these two seperate papers. any of yall got an idea wtf this is
(DIR) Post #B0o9rcvco0AN3zgORs by MedeaVanamonde@beige.party
2025-12-01T14:59:05Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev It’s like you’ve discovered a paper version of a Numbers Stationhttps://priyom.org/number-stations
(DIR) Post #B0omWE0YA25bu9lvwu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-01T22:12:14Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: yo afro guyafro guy: whats upscreamo guy: whos that dawg?afro guy: what?screamo guy: last night at 3am u texted me "i cant wait to go ham on that dawg"afro guy: i never said that in my lifescreamo guy: is that dawg [deadname]?
(DIR) Post #B0p0OYxLn2oputW436 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-02T00:47:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
alt girl: what if i tattooed [screamo guy] on my foreheadsinger guy: nahhh dont be his propertyscreamo guy: she wouldnt, im not her type, she only likes trans peoplesinger guy: i feel for u [alt girl] ur the only girl here today now u gotta take these boys jokesscreamo guy: remember when u used to be the only girl? before u transitioned?being in the closet here is an experience i still got no clue how transphobic any of these people are
(DIR) Post #B0p50vfADOyvA2YkDI by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-12-02T01:39:27Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev what do you think of trying to find out? (without revealing yourself, i mean)
(DIR) Post #B0pixkekg46EK2PFxY by candle@timetheft.social
2025-12-02T09:07:03Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev looks like scoring for a card game or something? two teams in columns. maybe the the column in the middle gives some clue to the game
(DIR) Post #B0qlBpqEadPLWZa38q by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-02T21:06:46Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
when local accent lady was 19 on a subway in philly a guy tried to snatched her purse and she stabbed him thru the puffer jacket with a scalpel and sent him to the hospital saying "go tell ur mother what u did, tell her what the hospital bill came from"
(DIR) Post #B0qpzjYSdZk2K3JeiW by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-02T22:00:32Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: yo [chain guy], [celeste guy] says ur on register tonightchain guy, who really didnt wanna be on register: FUCK MY LIFE BRO *runs over to the register counter and furiously mimes uhhh... hitting from behind*higher-level chef, walking in at the perfect moment: BOY WHAT THE HELL IS THAT
(DIR) Post #B0r6scHKzReEwvUysS by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-12-03T01:09:47Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev holy shit. that's a badass victory speech
(DIR) Post #B0xPM44rg5HngfcFWa by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-06T02:05:05Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
last few days at work been a lot. one day on register i felt like i was doing a lot better than usual, sometimes even feeling like i was oozing charisma. complimented an old lady's joni mitchell blue sweater, she said i was the only person shed ever met who recognized it? i think afro guy actually told chain guy a while back he thought i was the best of everyone at register cuz im "usually all friendly with the customers n shit" (i just automatically do the bare minimum pleasantries that covid cut my generation down on)
(DIR) Post #B0xPkxONfcikC1c7fM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-06T02:09:35Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
then the day after that came the busiest night we've had in ages. people kept coming in even as we were abt to close, so i never left the register once except for one bathroom break before it really started. not as good at my job that time cuz i was losing my voice and by the end my throat was cooked. the busiest nights here are prolly the most i ever talked in my life. also pretty sure i caught something from having to get really up close and personal with a trash can and its ripped bag
(DIR) Post #B0xPrnkLvmEIIx9emO by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-12-06T02:10:47Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev yikes :s that sounds hard, i wish you had an easier life...
(DIR) Post #B0xQ6A0Py7u1OVW3No by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-06T02:13:25Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
also: heartbreaking news for longtime fans lol: train guy's been training for a higher paying job in this retirement community's medical wing, and announced that yesterday was his last day working with us. i started lowkey hating u by the middle of the year but im still too used to u, i knew ur obvious higher people skills and hustle would get u out at some point 🫡
(DIR) Post #B157Sd5ECCLk5DRhb6 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-09T19:22:14Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
carolers from a nearby high school came and sang outside the cafe for at least half an hour. thank god none came for lunch after lol. already had enough trouble today yelling over them to take orders from seniors who were watching, and from local accent lady crashing out on me over helping someone get something that wasnt on the menu.among the carolers was.... trans guy! he'd gotten fired last week, and this was his high school. unfortunately, afro guy now confirmed transphobic like his brother. only says he around sonic kid (god bless his autistic ass) and is now calling him a chick around the main boys, despite how he actually kinda passes outta uniform. a chef walked in towards the end. asked where they from, screamo guy said high school right around the corner from this retirement community. chef said oh thats why theres only 3 black people. screamo guy says he doesnt get why trans guy ever came, if he were in that crowd he wouldnt get a job.
(DIR) Post #B15BkFkQ5yISjpN88O by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-09T20:10:15Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
oh god slovakian baker's showing one of the dishwashers flat earth tiktoks. cant even give him the benefit of the doubt cuz of how many adjacent lighter conspiracies he's espoused lmao
(DIR) Post #B15GT6WjckvCzLc57w by bell@social.xenofem.me
2025-12-09T20:33:38.653491Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev wait the afro guy is the one who had the penis-shaped hair cut, voted republican, and tried flirting with someone really old
(DIR) Post #B15GT7ZbjYoWEXxtFA by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-09T21:03:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@bell no that's train guy, his older brother, and the flirting was giving me advice
(DIR) Post #B19ZuytIHfjfAv0k0u by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-11T22:59:59Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
dull hum of machinery muffled by the men's bathroom stall.
(DIR) Post #B1CBtxePatThc7uVt2 by jackie@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-13T05:15:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev can I take this out of context and put it in a zine as an artsy quote
(DIR) Post #B1I83NRFqplhKbka3M by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-16T02:00:09Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
the thing with working at a retirement place is your regulars will never stay regulars for long. one day theyll stop coming and youll know why. i remember a lady earlier this year who always tried to get me to make her drawings, offered to buy me colored pencils, and talked about her grandson who swam across an ocean or something.just now i learned this one old chinese immigrant lady, who loudly proclaimed my face was beautiful in the middle of the cafe 2 months ago, who actually appeared earlier in the thread (the leg exercise bit), died today. as we were walking to the car we passed her son and grandchildren entering her vacant apartment. i served the granddaughter french fries a while back.
(DIR) Post #B1JQPunOVHYNUSxjUW by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-16T17:00:38Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
my coworkers have done the 6 7 in every way possible. every time a single one of the two numbers comes up. with the label dates. with the table numbers. out of nowhere. they are the masters of the form.
(DIR) Post #B1Jtu3i6ovwQUtDSz2 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-16T22:31:01Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
old lady: *holds up ornament* whats thisme: a frog with a rocket launcher?old lady: a MISSLE TOAD!!
(DIR) Post #B1Net8tfKZ3vc3ZBFQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-18T18:01:38Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
SHOCKING NEW DEVELOPMENT: afro guy apparently found out from medical that the old lady's death was caused by grease blocking shit. her final meal was a burger cooked by screamo guy. dressing guy (somehow got a deal to stay despite being antivaxx) has been following him around going off like "bro you caught a body!! you caught a b, bro!" what matters is he made her final moments good ig 😌
(DIR) Post #B1WdcGdVDeH9d5n2Lw by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-23T01:59:47Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
"WE ARE CHHHARLIE KIIIIIIIIRRK, WEEE CAAARRYYY THHEEEE FLLAAA-*chokes a lil on his own saliva*" - screamo guylove gen z brainrot monoculture. also fun how he was so serious about kirk's death and now he's singing this in work to goof off, he really is politically disaffected nihilist young male number 139,754,238,299
(DIR) Post #B1WfXOkznYtxHC6JSy by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-23T02:21:17Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
sparkle mom revealed some lore to me about a resident here who always yells at me if i come to clean her table while she's eating. apparently she used to be nice and always come with a guy who coulda been either husband or friend, then after he died she started acting like this to everybody. what got me more than this story is how bizarrely unempathetic sparkle mom's telling was, like she didn't even conceive of the dots.
(DIR) Post #B1YC2fLRZB6tOJ3vLk by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-23T20:00:14Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
celeste guy struggles to fit the cash box back into the cashier for a full 5 minutes. someone's grandson plays some comedy skit backing track sounding shit on the piano nearby. a beautiful moment.
(DIR) Post #B1YDxPMNloEUH87cum by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2025-12-23T20:21:40Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev the cash is a strawberry and the cashier is a screen transition
(DIR) Post #B1YHOGhcMle56cYQiW by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-23T21:00:09Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: I can say two slurs, faggot and retarded *is thoughtful for a moment* yeah, i guess there are people who consider retarded a slur.... [deadname], have you ever been called retarded?me: *nods*screamo guy: well, -I- call you retarded *belly laughs* dont worry buddy, if i call you retarded i dont mean it to harm you
(DIR) Post #B1YiBsi0RidZyh3P5E by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-24T02:00:28Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
train guy and afro guy's dad is the only one of the three here, says the cold's going round his household and ur lucky if u dont get it. he slowly pushes the veggie cart through the thin line, preventing screamo guy from passingscreamo guy: cmon man MOVE!dad guy: *laughs at us* im boutta slap the dogggggshit outta this boy*his phone starts. HELLO MOTO-*dad guy: hey im busy!manager assistant lady: *sassy* was thay ringtone soulja boy?dad guy: noo... it was hello motomanager assistant lady: *somehow starts interpolating soulja boy lyrics to the tone of the hello moto its awesome how does she do it*
(DIR) Post #B1kyXueloaE9YMaRDk by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-30T00:00:14Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy: yo [deadname] do u twerk on itinstead of doing the usual bit where i keep it ambiguous to make him whine i nodded immediately and firmly cuz i felt like it. he lost his shit and started going omg did u see that to dressing guy, i just made this fans day.
(DIR) Post #B1l1csH4OoOFTWYh5E by Erato_Heti@social.xenofem.me
2025-12-30T00:05:23.259196Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev you should try to go by a nickname at work itll make you feel less bad abt not being out
(DIR) Post #B1l1ctiP2fqdwaM2KG by Erato_Heti@social.xenofem.me
2025-12-30T00:06:00.973375Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev my girlfriend calls it a 'cissona'
(DIR) Post #B1l1cufbUZCeuC3JbM by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-30T00:34:44Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Erato_Heti aside from what they all say being the shortened version of my deadname everyone uses instead, i gotta have my deadname big on a tag so all the disconnected seniors i gotta customer service get to say it
(DIR) Post #B1l3uy5fiI1KdOyzS4 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-30T01:00:24Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
screamo guy told me im "cool, but strange" and a random old lady told me im "a demon". idk in what way she meant that lol
(DIR) Post #B1makm9CkmtALMLIuG by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-30T18:43:04Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
children and grandchildren of the whimsical elderly man who always dances for everyone waiting in the to go section came today. as they were all eating the kids mom came up to me and asked about my art. ive been displaying some of my safest for seniors old shit and b-sides printed out in the art hallway, and she wanted to know about the one old graphic i posted here last year of mt rushmore with cliff dwellings over the father's faces. i told her abt krita, and she said shed look it up cuz she's "into art"
(DIR) Post #B1miS3rfSNuRQJj8yG by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-30T20:09:21Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
in the bathroom today i overheard train guy talking abt his promotion with a friend. he started talking abt how he's now working with "all females, bad bitches forreal" and how hes tryna fuck one even tho she got a boyfriend. so basically nothing's changed
(DIR) Post #B1n4iYCccukd8jnQVE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-31T00:18:50Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
old lady: *looks at the menu* whats "gelatin jewels?"me: jelloold lady: why dont they just call it jello?me: *shrugs* they musta decided jello was too boring
(DIR) Post #B1nSU2UQ8T7nd6jbdY by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2025-12-31T04:45:08Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
celeste guy, now with a pink beanie to match the celeste hoodie, leaves the cafe off to a new years vacation, wishing everyone a happy new year on the way. he passes the woke boomer table, sees that fredrick the whimsical elderly man has constructed a structure from everyone's cups, and places a leftover christmas ornament on top. the old ladies talk about how "lighthearted" he is as he goes.i walk up to clean plates, fredrick goes "noo dont clean the cups" i go "ill leave the structure alone, it'll remain for thousands of years till unearthed by archeologists" and the whole table starts laughing
(DIR) Post #B1qYwM2eDXV3ZpVbt2 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-01T16:41:35Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"one more win and it'll be at 1.67%, lowkirkenuinely." - screamo guy, talking about his sports bettingcultures are so cooked theyre tryna make us all one soup
(DIR) Post #B1r7PRjVX7N44FbFfE by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2026-01-01T23:07:48Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev i have no idea what 'lowkirkenuinely' is supposed to mean
(DIR) Post #B1rUrxWTEOJviR4CSu by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-02T03:30:42Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
"you have racist cult leader vibes" - screamo guy"you give 25 year old nurse vibes" - chain guywhat ppl have to say about me grows stranger every month
(DIR) Post #B1rVJHbKgikro4N0EK by yujiri@freeradical.zone
2026-01-02T03:35:37Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev you give neither of those vibes to me, but i guess i haven't met you IRL so maybe...
(DIR) Post #B1rXxUn3GqV8Cf9cTQ by bell@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-02T03:42:28.274198Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev how did screamo guy come to that, you definitely do not seem thatnurse maybe, not sure at all what he means by that, if it is positive, female nurses can be quite kind and gentle and you are both (maybe less on the gentle part)
(DIR) Post #B1rXxWCxzypCbKHpVQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-02T04:05:19Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@bell mind u just a few days ago screamo guy said im cool but strange. maybe hes just going in on how im very obviously vaguely "weird". maybe he thinks racist cult leaders are cool. chain guy's nurse thing? how im presenting myself in boymode to them is generally pretty soft spoken, nonconfrontational, reserved, maybe too uptight but clearly finds their jokes funny, etc. so ig thats it
(DIR) Post #B1rYjeau7f0sVgR56G by bell@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-02T04:11:33.305383Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev connecting the dots now and makes sense, sorry if that was oblivious.
(DIR) Post #B1rYjfUYmjX5IITWqm by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-02T04:14:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@bell u all good
(DIR) Post #B2E55JjUW1q3FBGDBI by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-13T01:00:07Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Funny thing from last week: one of my to-go paper doodles was of my workplace getting hit by a meteor. Out of all the doodles he coulda seen, jewish guy (our manager that day) went up to check on that tray
(DIR) Post #B2EcpYOlcN1MXMDotE by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-13T07:18:17Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
my art has recieved nothing but critical acclaim from the christian seniors of my workplace, especially after i let them hang some of the old b sides up. ive even heard that the one couple frok earlier sent their hoard of my lil 5 second doodles to their graphic designer son for christmas. theyre definetly bigger ena ride or dies than everyone here atp without even knowing shit abt me lol
(DIR) Post #B2HoCudQn6WN8IIkvg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-14T20:09:50Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
local accent lady called herself a "gilf" then told the story of how, back when her adult son was 13 and her husband found his cocaine stash, he got out his shotgun and aimed it at the kid going "dont do drugs ever, dont hide drugs ever, ill kill you i swear" as the kid wailed and insisted he wasnt.
(DIR) Post #B2IMMOCncBsDtLXFCq by cyb3rm0shp1t@social.xenofem.me
2026-01-15T02:32:34.733452Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev dude this is insane wbat the fuck
(DIR) Post #B2JxH3PFPRs9OkdXZQ by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-15T21:00:54Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Sample of my to-go tray label doodles, done in the seconds where no orders are waiting, fairly representative of an average day assigned the position that involves working with em
(DIR) Post #B2SrYRiFACvm8jcbQ0 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-20T01:11:51Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@cyb3rm0shp1t average employee here backstory
(DIR) Post #B2W7YrKg5h6wL6hJqq by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-19T17:33:58Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
the managers took down all the holiday decorations in the cafe like 2 days after new years. however, they missed one, a gingerbread man plushie sitting by the soda machine. now he just watches everyone fill their cups, forgotten and alone.
(DIR) Post #B2W7YsUzkoxRxOX4ZU by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-20T23:32:38Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
tall cook really just walked in and SPILLED THE SHIT outta the ice tea
(DIR) Post #B2W7Z15RpAs0aleIV6 by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-01-21T00:24:55Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
as dinner shift started, a gigantic crowd of seniors piled into the main lobby and went outside. we were all tryna figure out what was up till i spotted one of the liberal boomer table people with an "ice out!" sign. afro guy had a very cynical caring-abt-this-is-cringe-theyre-lame-old white-people-who-wont-change-shit type attitude, sparkle mom sighed and went "oh i hate politics", dressing guy initially thought id said "isis" and did nothing but make jokes abt how they going to the middle east. chain guy just said whatever whoever he was talking to wanted to hear. screamo guy initially went "ice is doing everything right" but later said he was just tryna ragebait our black people and that he shared their concerns. afro guy responded "aint none of us mexican!"we were hoping the crowd was getting to vehicles and leaving to make our day easy, but turned out they were getting back and it was the busiest first hour in a long time.
(DIR) Post #B2yvmSbuxIxrAfreKW by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-02-03T20:12:38Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
*dressing guy tries to throw some burned plastic wrap into a trash can and misses* dressing guy: thats GAY bruhwhat's he derogatorily calling gay? place ur bets below
(DIR) Post #B2yvmU7VLLpDqveOCe by bfdifan2763@brain.worm.pink
2026-02-04T15:27:17.723151Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@detondev the key here is that Dressing Guy is the one calling something gay derogatorily, and why would he insult his own skills?
(DIR) Post #B3EnYt4C6aDK45SxZg by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-02-04T01:00:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
working with another outsider on reg again. when we took down the dirty dishes his buddies on dishwasher yelled at us to make sure the leftover pizza slices came down with the tray. when we got to that, he was like "bro where's the cutter imma give them kindergarden slices" and I looked a lil, only found the pizza tongs, and was like lmao what if u sawed it with this, and so he sent them down extremely mangled pizza (with some real pizza hidden on the bottom cuz they're still his friends ig)
(DIR) Post #B3EnYuPV6qqqESRUQK by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-02-04T23:30:38Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
skull guy makes me feel subhuman every time i interact with him.
(DIR) Post #B3EnYvasi1Y5u2m5nk by detondev@social.linux.pizza
2026-02-12T01:05:06Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
we finally got another new coworker today! she's a somewhat grouchy 30-40yo lady who says thank you hon whenever i show her where anything is and also has evil eye jewelry. when i get the chance imma be like hey i fw the jewelry i saw that type shit all the time where i grew up