Post Av5P2ELhLP9BbjGepM by noodlemaz@med-mastodon.com
(DIR) More posts by noodlemaz@med-mastodon.com
(DIR) Post #Av5MsHVoWrYMc77y4W by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:02:16Z
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I used to be scared of American Cockroaches. (Periplaneta americana) and I really thought I'd never get over the extreme gut-level negative reaction I had because even as I learned about many other insects that reaction stayed. As a small child I saw how adults would scream and run from them. Then when I moved to NYC I was startled by them (which they do on purpose I can prove this*)
(DIR) Post #Av5N4PUOhDFGpUFSGe by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:04:31Z
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I don't think anyone should enjoy seeing them (especially when you didn't expect to see them) They are a symptom of poorly managed spaces, bad plumbing, unclean food storage, problems. What I'm talking about is being *scared* by these little bugs who can't really hurt you directly at all. They can't sting, can't bite in a way that matters to you, and their biggest threat is making things dirty which is bad... but not worthy of having heart palpations and running out of the room.
(DIR) Post #Av5NKfLjUnFaeVwlhw by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:07:25Z
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But at some point even this fear has gone away. Which is amazing to me as I really didn't think I would ever shake it. I feel like I can relate to them much more objectively now (importantly) I can help other people to manage and respond to the ecological problems they can represent. For example WHY are they hanging around the bus stop? It's not to catch the Bx3! It's because the trash can isn't emptied and the drain is warm. They are tropical insects and can't thrive without people.
(DIR) Post #Av5NNjFFT8xTbQNGym by mensrea@freeradical.zone
2025-06-13T11:07:57Z
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@futurebird certainly not when things like Acanthoplus discoidalis are options
(DIR) Post #Av5NWKM5NU7v0yfl8S by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:09:34Z
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If you have a fear and think "I'll never get over this. It's just how it is" that may not be true. Learning more about what you fear, looking at it more closely, understanding it helps. It's not instant. Since I had learned all the facts but still felt scared I thought that I'd never get over it, but my brain just needed time to adapt. To have experiences where I freaked out less when seeing one, and observed instead. And then over years the fear vanished.
(DIR) Post #Av5NdFviEIWrJhdlj6 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:10:49Z
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So if you are scared of insects it's IN PART something you are choosing to continue to do. The next time you see the bug that freaks you out it's an opportunity to gain back some of your dignity and become better able to meet the natural world. Take it!
(DIR) Post #Av5NofA0lN3Okmlffc by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:12:53Z
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@mensrea OK that is too large however there is rational caution and there is freaking out and I'm talking about the later. You don't need to hug it. Just give it the level of caution it is due and no more. eg. if you see a roach in a restaurant it's fine IMO to be put off eating by that. But climbing up on a chair and crying? not so much.
(DIR) Post #Av5O1Lqjs6G8cuntOS by Gustodon@mas.to
2025-06-13T11:15:08Z
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@futurebird I feel this way about people's reactions to spiders.
(DIR) Post #Av5O2hCZyC2x8gf0SW by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:15:26Z
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And just because you did it once and still feel scared doesn't mean it won't work. It's a little journey. And you will set a better example for young people by not freaking out and teaching them to observe and manage the environments they will need to manage as they grow older.
(DIR) Post #Av5OEaZ4TMx01rqsL2 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:17:34Z
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@Gustodon I got over my fear of spiders much faster, but then my parents never freaked out much about spiders. I really think that observing adults reacting to animals has a massive impact on young people and I have an aunt who has basically a paralyzing phobia of roaches. And I learned that even though I generally like bugs!She won't even THINK about considering getting over it which annoys me.
(DIR) Post #Av5OS1UbfNKjJFAZWq by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:19:59Z
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@Gustodon To be fair to my aunt she grew up up north where seeing a roach inside generally means you have messed up big time on house cleaning. But she moved to TX where it's not realistic to NEVER EVER see one. So, I think it gave her something of a crisis. Also looking back she did everything WRONG to get rid of them. Well the cleaning was a good idea, but spraying everything just ensured that only one kind of bug survived and it was the one she hated the most.
(DIR) Post #Av5OXLgk0T7VORNvG4 by steve@discuss.systems
2025-06-13T11:20:56Z
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@futurebird our eight year old has zero fear of them. Since we’re not in a city, minimal association with “unclean”. She’ll look for them in leaf litter and pick them up to friends.
(DIR) Post #Av5Oe9lyhs3QSt540e by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:22:11Z
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@Nagaram I think it's fine to be overwhelmed that you have to see them. I'm just talking about it being a paralyzing physical fear thing. I've had students who would *cry* because there was a bee in the classroom. In temperate zones I think roaches can be managed but many products sold to people do not help and not understanding how they live makes people focus on the wrong things.
(DIR) Post #Av5OkVgc95s6ALbLLk by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:23:20Z
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@steve I'd be on that kid to wash their hands, but then I'm on kids to wash their hands all of the time so IDK if she'd pick up on why. LOL.
(DIR) Post #Av5P2ELhLP9BbjGepM by noodlemaz@med-mastodon.com
2025-06-13T11:26:27Z
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@futurebird not in the places they're from, outdoors..! Agree with the unexpected and poor management issues, but they are also just bugs from nature. Some places, we should expect to see them.We just sing La Cucaracha every time (on holiday, as they're super rare in the UK) and then it's in our heads for 2 days 🎶
(DIR) Post #Av5PRZPEByQo9c09wG by steve@discuss.systems
2025-06-13T11:31:05Z
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@futurebird yes, but just cause she’s digging in the leaf litter, not because of the bug =)
(DIR) Post #Av5PVQiIS6h6LxlGLI by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:31:49Z
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@steve If she's digging in leaf litter THAT much have you checked if she's maybe an isopod?
(DIR) Post #Av5PmLcCf27LSpyhyy by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:34:52Z
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I think our fears can sometimes be sources of comfort in a strange way. And one can be scared of NOT being afraid if that makes any sense. "If I'm not terrified of them will I end up just covered in them all the time, living in a house that's like a subway stop at 3am in the middle of summer?"The opposite is true. If you want to have control over the ecosystems you live in (and yes human built spaces are ecosystems) you need to understand them, and fear just makes you less able to do this!
(DIR) Post #Av5QF635cCSPaGGLIG by sbourne@mastodon.social
2025-06-13T11:40:03Z
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@futurebird I was swarmed by yellow jackets when I was young and was left paralyzed whenever a bee showed up. It took decades to get over it. It was mostly getting my limbic system to learn that buzzing was not by itself a mortal threat. That buzzing is a horsefly. That buzzing is A HUGE MUTANT BEE - oh, no, it's a hummingbird. That buzzing IS a yellow jacket, but it wants my sweet beverage, not me. The poor ordinary honey bee never deserved my terror. Anyway, I'm glad to be free of it.
(DIR) Post #Av5QXWEF19vxzYGNE0 by DaNanner@mastodon.coffee
2025-06-13T11:43:21Z
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@futurebird roaches are a hard NOPE from me
(DIR) Post #Av5RUOVpLmld94YxNo by Tiffany@disabled.social
2025-06-13T11:54:00Z
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@futurebird This really resonates for me. I have a lot of really intense fears that I know are not reasonable or rational, but it’s very hard to let go of them. I don’t know why my mind seems so prone to this. Sometimes making an intentional project out of facing that fear and learning that I can be okay has been such a significant act of reclaiming dignity. (Exhausting and lengthy, like you said it takes time for the brain to catch up to new knowledge.) Thanks for this thread.
(DIR) Post #Av5RWaTNqtcaosSvSK by glecharles@gardenstate.social
2025-06-13T11:54:24Z
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@futurebird Agree with (and honestly love) all of this, but a cockroach flew at me once when I was a kid and I didn't know they could do that and I've been traumatized ever since!While I'm not "scared" of them anymore, I definitely do not like seeing them (in the north nor the south), but I'm going to take this to heart. 🤔😬👍🏽
(DIR) Post #Av5Ru20Ff6GAra1Bui by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T11:58:40Z
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@glecharles Yeah that flying thing happened to me when I first moved to NYC and it took me six years to get over it. But I did! It just took so long I didn't think it'd happen. But I never gave up on not being irrational about them. Even as I kept being irrational.
(DIR) Post #Av5VlHGlvpz3QCpKV6 by Ailbhe@mendeddrum.org
2025-06-13T12:41:51Z
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@futurebird I thought my mum liked spiders! But she just wanted to avoid passing on her distaste. I did the same thing with mushrooms for my kids.
(DIR) Post #Av5WCQxrzfT1JEw0ps by JamesWidman@mastodon.social
2025-06-13T12:28:18Z
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@Gustodon @futurebird in my defense, some spiders make this part:> Learning more about what you fear, looking at it more closely, ...really, really hard.'cause like... there is a type of spider that:1) moves *very* fast,2) moves *toward me*, and then3) *disappears* if i look away for literally 2 seconds.How am i supposed to look closely at something that pulls a frickin' harry houdini act?
(DIR) Post #Av5WCRrWejzE5qySaO by JamesWidman@mastodon.social
2025-06-13T12:35:07Z
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@Gustodon @futurebird but... i will try. Next time i see an unreasonably fast spider, i will try to get close enough to take a photo and look it up.(i guess it would probably also help to learn about spiders that are actually dangerous so i can say, "that's not on the list of things for which i would need medical attention.")
(DIR) Post #Av5WFiC4OQRdc48ieW by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T12:47:25Z
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@JamesWidman @Gustodon Where do you live?
(DIR) Post #Av5WOMXYGm6t3uJRYG by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-06-13T12:48:58Z
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@JamesWidman @Gustodon Asking because in some locations the few "medically significant" spiders are not aggressive at all and you'd need to pin the spider down to get it to bite you. Generally since spiders are small and scared of people it's hard to get bit by them. But always check your boots. If that makes sense.
(DIR) Post #Av5WPsUcxHckS3fR2m by JamesWidman@mastodon.social
2025-06-13T12:49:15Z
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@futurebird @Gustodon i travel a bit, but when i saw (and then didn't see) the super-fast spider, i was near Philly
(DIR) Post #Av5YmwDBUlQYYNdFke by asakiyume@wandering.shop
2025-06-13T13:15:43Z
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@futurebird I'm not afraid of any bugs, but I confess I haven't been particularly fond of ants--when they're in my house; I don't mind them outside--but thanks to reading *you*, I'm much calmer and more curious when I see ants in the house. (I still don't want them there, any more than I want larger wildlife in the house, but I feel like I appreciate them more--and that's your doing!)
(DIR) Post #Av5aMpoar4Rd5soK9I by jack@social.jacklinke.com
2025-06-13T13:33:08Z
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@futurebird @Gustodon I used to dislike spiders. I'm not sure what changed - maybe just that I truly began to appreciate their role as I got older.Especially jumping spiders - I genuinely love them ❤️Anyway, I wanted to share: here's the web developer that shares my office. She is so tidy. After each meal, she moves the trash to the corner of the windowsill. Her web looks haphazard with no clear design (to my eyes), but unless there's a fresh meal, every strand is kept perfectly clean.
(DIR) Post #Av5dA5dL1y9MFgA0y8 by monicasecas@col.social
2025-06-13T14:04:46Z
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@futurebird I used to overreact so much to cockroaches until a situation *forced me* to take a huge flying roach out the window with a bowl like it was a butterfly, and I was so surprised to realize that if you act calmly roaches are super chill, that their unnerving reactions come from our behavior towards them.I love your reflection! We are such an entitled species. Every living being has a role, our feelings for the existence of other species are our problem to fix.
(DIR) Post #Av5e9LPqxy4Irh3sFE by arisummerland@beige.party
2025-06-13T14:15:51Z
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@futurebird @Gustodon I used to have a startle reaction to spiders, sometimes even a scream reaction. I lived in Florida for a while, and those fishing spiders can get HUGE. (I had a friend who used to name them after states based on their size.) I've been working on desensitizing myself to that jump scare reaction over the last 10 years or so. One of my friends who is currently no longer on the planet wanted to start an adult study group called Spider Club. I still want to start a spider club, myself, but I don't really hang out with people much. I hang out with spiders quite a lot more often, and now every time I see one, I stop and look at it and talk to it and try to figure out what it is and what it is doing where it is. I found one on my window shade this morning in a very advantageous place, catching bugs that make it through the fan screen. Smart! I always escort them out of the house when they are in places that don't work for me (like the bathtub). The only spider that I will kill on sight is a brown recluse. I've got enough wolf spiders and cellar door spiders now to pretty much manage that introduced population, though. I didn't have any until I moved a few things over from my dad's house to my garage after he died. (His house was rife with them.)
(DIR) Post #Av6Ytzf5GEjGRG0Rd2 by lxo@snac.lx.oliva.nom.br
2025-06-14T00:50:22Z
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yeah, I feel startled too, and I can't understand why.them roaches also bring about a killer instinct in me that I can't quite get.