Post Ars0ndLf2nTIUbIzbM by codeofamor@social.codeofamor.net
(DIR) More posts by codeofamor@social.codeofamor.net
(DIR) Post #Arqg5H7k7XG6a7PFGy by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-03-08T15:20:36Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Thinking about how my mom is very similar to me. She doesn't like socializing, finds it exhausting. But also she thinks that this is just a flaw in her personality and buries it. Her expectation that I do the same has been the source of many of our falling outs. "How can you just say you wouldn't always enjoy seeing your FAMILY?"We've learned things from each other now that we are both adults. But, I do wonder to what extent her relentless social schedule & checklists are just... duty.
(DIR) Post #ArqgCSEBEdor2wqAaW by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-03-08T15:21:55Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I *did* manage to get her to stop giving me birthday gifts. But, she still sends a card. And I always call because the card is for her. I do not get it, I will never get it but it makes her happy. That's enough.
(DIR) Post #Arqgkm7Ln8mCa00lNo by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-03-08T15:28:07Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
"Of course no one likes going to social events. But, you still have to go."1. I think, maybe, mom, some people do like it? Everyone there can't be as miserable as we are. And if they are let's cancel it and have a group chat or something instead.2. Yeah sometimes you "have to" go, but if the only reason is because YOU care about it and you hate it too literally what are we even doing? Let's stay home! (If it will make Uncle Willis and Great Aunt Martha happy? eh...that's another matter.)
(DIR) Post #ArqhBDAXpyCG0X6xPc by lienrag@mastodon.tedomum.net
2025-03-08T15:32:48Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird Have you tried "you don't hate social events, you hate capitalism" ?(or, here, bourgeois culture, to be more precise)
(DIR) Post #ArqhNhKvV8Ol2rvB3I by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-03-08T15:35:09Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lienrag She has no problem saying she doesn't like capitalism. We are on the same page there. She's uncomfortable with the idea of an introverted person not being ashamed and apologetic about their "deficiency."Whereas I recognize that I need to work a bit harder to navigate social situations. But, don't think that means there's anything wrong with me.
(DIR) Post #ArqhWOp1htjwEJ9KIi by lienrag@mastodon.tedomum.net
2025-03-08T15:36:37Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird What I mean is that I enjoy situations where people are themselves and happy, but I never saw the points of most social gatherings where precisely people are not...
(DIR) Post #Arqj9gWjuiZuOAtOgC by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-03-08T15:55:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@secretsloth A couple decades ago an uncle of mine was sick. Mom insisted I come visit and go to this flower garden thing with him and a bunch of other people. It literally seemed to help him to get better? He was talking about it for months, how "good it was to see everyone together." (a social event has never had that kind of effect on me ever) but that convinced me at the late age of 20-something that I could drag my bones out to whatever if it meant so damn much to anyone.
(DIR) Post #Arqja43D4l2WsLeumm by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-03-08T15:59:47Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@secretsloth Imagine a parallel world where the need to have in-person social interactions was pathologized and disparaged the way that introverts are?"oh yes, he has Social Desperation, he can't function well unless he sees people in person often. therapy helps but, we should also be considerate and go see him."
(DIR) Post #ArqjlXU3z5z3LWgtqy by Sharksonaplane@mastodon.sandwich.net
2025-03-08T16:01:49Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @secretsloth As the token extrovert in many of my groups it *does* feel like this sometimes 😅
(DIR) Post #ArqkfjT8bxNKjZ3M6y by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-03-08T16:11:59Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Sharksonaplane @secretsloth Oh dear... I think we do this to the extroverted on in our mostly introvert friend group. And when we introduce her to new introverts we're like "she's just a little extroverted, be patient she's cool."
(DIR) Post #Arql5j6AbwpF78hm76 by Sharksonaplane@mastodon.sandwich.net
2025-03-08T16:16:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @secretsloth "she just needs idle chatter sometimes, it's like enrichment for her" 😂
(DIR) Post #Arqm0ZyxB6XvLXRHl3 by grant_h@mastodon.social
2025-03-08T16:26:58Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @secretsloth I'm not an expert, but after reading Susan Caine's "Quiet", I suspect that this aspersion of intraversion may be something of a USA culture thing? Compare to the understated British "stiff upper lip" - a society much more restrained.
(DIR) Post #ArqmndgMD5Ar0m8O6i by clew@ecoevo.social
2025-03-08T16:35:49Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Acceptance euphoria, the opposite of rejection dysphoria? That would allow lots of rest and healing!@futurebird @secretsloth
(DIR) Post #Arqrx41i8BRf5uR4sK by michael_w_busch@mastodon.online
2025-03-08T17:33:31Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @secretsloth Ursula K. Le Guin's Hainish Cycle includes the story "Solitude", about a planet called Eleven-Soro where the entire culture is based around individual households and people only visit each other as children or when absolutely necessary.
(DIR) Post #ArrGHgtdimqiL31rhw by futurebird@sauropods.win
2025-03-08T22:06:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@quatrava That was so wild. "I can't take it anymore I haven't seen anyone but the same two people for a WEEK."Meanwhile I was just so happy.
(DIR) Post #ArrIHo7B5EuedNXpdw by koantig@mamot.fr
2025-03-08T22:28:35Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @quatrava Oh yes! For a solid 2-year period, I had the perfect excuse not to go out nor travel. Bliss.
(DIR) Post #Ars0ndLf2nTIUbIzbM by codeofamor@social.codeofamor.net
2025-03-09T06:47:23Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird as one affected by extreme isolation, I suspect that we all require at least a little physical contact with other humans on a semi-regular basis for our wellbeing. Though amount required varies from person to person, having ZERO outside contact for months, or years tends to have a negative effect on the wellbeing of a human, even if they are of the reclusive sort. I am.