Post Ari9wpwAZ4QU9JFIZc by jakemiller@federate.social
 (DIR) More posts by jakemiller@federate.social
 (DIR) Post #Ari7kGehiQVpLExIKu by futurebird@sauropods.win
       2025-03-04T12:18:10Z
       
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       A conversation I had as a teenager in the 90s on why Bush was president. “If only they hadn’t brought up gay marriage. That was too far.” Said some ostensibly ‘liberal’ friend of my parents. Being a child? I wondered if they were right. They were not it’s now obvious. If not gay marriage we’d be on “can a mother have a career?” or “can interracial marriages work?” Short of “big men” with clubs who literally own people you cannot fill the void longing for control and domination in these men.
       
 (DIR) Post #Ari9wpwAZ4QU9JFIZc by jakemiller@federate.social
       2025-03-04T12:42:47Z
       
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       @futurebird I see the Big Men, Justice, and society’s rate of possible change as 3 separate issues. To my thinking, #3 puts real limits on when justice and rights can be delivered. I think Obergefell happened when it did because society changed (slowly) and that was the result of brilliant issue framing around love, as well as Will & Grace, and Ellen, and other incremental changes over the prior 20 years. Big Men want to roll it back, but it’s less possible bc US bought in.
       
 (DIR) Post #AriIKmncgLFd06BAMy by stellarsarah@mastodon.world
       2025-03-04T14:16:46Z
       
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       @futurebird I was talking to a liberal last year about the issue of immigration at the border with Mexico and pointed out that the USA has obligations under the Declaration of Human Rights to process all the asylum applications (so the solution is simple: hire a bunch of lawyers and judges to process applications), but I was told that this isn't possible. Like, no. If the US cares about human rights, processing all asylum applications is the minimum it can do.
       
 (DIR) Post #ArirzfIywlJ81h4itE by futurebird@sauropods.win
       2025-03-04T20:56:22Z
       
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       @jakemiller OK. But I think the idea that there is a gradient is an illusion.You can't have "just a little equality" or "some treating humans with a right to self-determination"Either you respect everyone or you can be turned into a tool for exploiting just about anyone, including "you own" whoever you might thinks those people are. This is not to say that people don't need to learn about kinds of marginalization they have not encountered.
       
 (DIR) Post #ArisBf83QadcxFgV9M by futurebird@sauropods.win
       2025-03-04T20:58:32Z
       
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       @jakemiller But that kind of learning happens fast if you already have the general picture. My mom is in her 90s. Eight years ago she said "I don't get this gender stuff." But, because of her basic framework for understanding how power operettas she "got it" in a few hours. And in a few months it was just another part of the landscape. Does that make sense?
       
 (DIR) Post #ArityuFe5jms03HS1g by dicenbuttons@mastodon.social
       2025-03-04T21:18:36Z
       
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       @futurebird @jakemiller I feel like it's all exposure. If you don't (think you) know anyone gay, gay folks might seem weird to you. If you don't know anyone trans, trans folks might seem scary. Once people see past the identity politics that alienate the "other" to dehumanize them, people can see that lie applied also to immigrants, foreigners, the infirm, or different religions. "Progress" is just the widening of echo chambers to include diverse voices, and the result: understanding.