Post AodOQPiRvbeQXFqFfc by futurebird@sauropods.win
(DIR) More posts by futurebird@sauropods.win
(DIR) Post #AodMuxqbOPTlAh5wy8 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T11:38:18Z
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It's like a nervous tic. The temptation, the tendency to point out the obvious and blatant hypocrisy of the right:* You said "states rights" but when we want states to act you block it!* You said "free speech" but when we speak freely you destroy platforms, ban children's books and gut our libraries!* You say "freedom" but clearly it only applies to you.The astonished takes keep coming. It's time to realize a hard truth.
(DIR) Post #AodNGI8j8pUEBjk5lA by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T11:42:09Z
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The purpose of claiming "higher ideals" in a debate is to find common ground. We might not be able to agree on tax policy, my friend, but we can both agree that censorship is bad. We might not agree on the best trade policy, but at least we agree that individual freedom is important. For all their flaws liberals tend to use this rhetorical move in an earnest manner. Liberals are shocked over and over that conservatives aren't sincere.
(DIR) Post #AodNVJmHKlJ9c0PKAC by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T11:44:52Z
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I think this is why it's so frustrating for me to read articles and posts where nice liberal people who I generally get along with just fine are shocked over and over again that the right was not honest about their commitment to ANY "shared values."With these observations of hypocrisy comes a sense that there will be consequences for the hypocrisy. And that is the other shoe they haven't noticed has dropped long ago. There are no consequence.
(DIR) Post #AodNYunk8ZyxJ7o8uG by rayhindle@mastodon.social
2024-12-02T11:45:02Z
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@futurebird They obviously mean just the freedom to be a white Christo-Fascist!
(DIR) Post #AodNeACoIA8uWz2FbE by tadbithuman@mastodon.social
2024-12-02T11:46:26Z
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@futurebird A brilliant 2 term President said once, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me again... You can't fool me again!"
(DIR) Post #AodNku30lWfmRdfKMK by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T11:47:40Z
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The right looked at our education system, at media, at the general direction of culture and they didn't like where it was going. They saw us celebrating marriage equality, the first black president, and the resurgence of the US labor movement and were disgusted, frustrated and cornered.And they have been doing everything they can to put it all back in the bottle. These people do not "share values" with you. Learn that and act accordingly.
(DIR) Post #AodOQPiRvbeQXFqFfc by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T11:55:11Z
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I had a lovely weekend. I took the train to see my folks in PA. I hung out with my nephew who is trans and getting on very well at their nice liberal arts college. I spent time with my absurdly diverse, but to me ordinary family. There are more mixed race marriages than matched sets. There are many religions and traditions. There are gays, and artists engineers and immigrants.
(DIR) Post #AodOeuPkaZrbnb0Vpw by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T11:57:48Z
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And it's very ordinary. Stable. Boring even. We have perfected this way of being Americans, and it is working very well for us, thank you very much. But, we are chaos and disorder in the eyes of the right. I need you to understand that people like Steve Bannon and Tucker don't want families like ours, or probably like yours to exist. But, this is nothing new Black people, Chinese immigrants, LGBT people, so many of us know this already.
(DIR) Post #AodPP8EVXlnVyfn0DI by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T12:06:09Z
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Oh and I want to say something about the "trans issue" my entire extended family. A family that can be very judgemental about all kinds of things "got" what it meant that my nephew was trans since he came out. From their parents, to my parents, aunts pushing 100 years old. I'm talking church ladies with HATS. They get it because every one of them knows what it means to know who you are and have the world trying to tell you you are someone else.
(DIR) Post #AodPooQFoz8G47WrY0 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T12:10:47Z
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I was a little worried for my nephew at first. Because, as I said, they can be judgy. God help you if you have run-down untidy shoes, or if you get bad grades in school? Might as well just go die instead. But they "got" what my nephew needed. They are all doing their best to be supportive. You can and should expect the same. Age is no excuse. Being religious is no excuse. Tell anyone who says otherwise to get their house in order. And that's ME being judgy.
(DIR) Post #AodQgKNTk8PSWLkUsK by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T12:20:28Z
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Also. I am not saying it's perfect. It can't possibly be "perfect" just pointing out that old people can learn about these things and be normal about them. My mom and I had a lot of conversations with some of the family who were less familiar with what "trans" was over the year. I encountered some ignorance, but ignorance can be salved by education. Don't want to get a bad grade now do you auntie?(The gen X relatives were the worst, the older ones easier)
(DIR) Post #AodQucZUtaT90CBbcG by SKleefeld@mastodon.social
2024-12-02T12:23:01Z
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@futurebird This is what I don't get either! So many left-leaning folks who *continue* to be shocked -- shocked! -- that right-wingers don't suddenly change their opinions when you point out the hypocrisies or logical fallacies or inherent inequalities embedded in their core values. Liberals calling "Shame!" on them as if that's even a consideration for them here.
(DIR) Post #AodR4Uy817oMJoPuyW by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T12:24:50Z
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@SKleefeld Worse I think some on the right get a real kick out of having people react in that way. It's like candy for them, so it annoys me that "centrist liberals" keep obliging and providing more amusement. They love to hear you howl and be indignant. It is music to their ears.
(DIR) Post #AodSWAJyThLYLMOMJE by MattMerk@mastodon.social
2024-12-02T12:41:01Z
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@futurebird Thank you for all of this, but especially the focus on right-wing hypocrisy and the tendency of liberal politicians to pretend their colleagues on the other side of the isle are sincere. The same goes for the liberal electorate.For years I have called this #WeaponizedHypocrisy, and always point out that right wingers wield it like a cudgel to get anything and everything they want; they know exactly what they are doing.
(DIR) Post #AodSewamtI1yN2RT2e by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T12:42:37Z
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Sometimes when I’ve discussed this in the past people have said “you are very lucky to have an accepting family” and I do feel “blessed” I am sincerely thankful for my family. It’s gutting to know it might not be this way. But I will not put it all down to luck. Because this is a thing that takes work to maintain. And it can’t all fall to the trans kid or the gay uncle to Do The Work. It’s everyone’s responsibility to make is so we aren’t divided by nonsense.
(DIR) Post #AodSqy5NAGA6TdTue8 by Seanochicago@mastodon.sdf.org
2024-12-02T12:44:45Z
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@futurebird My grandmother (who was born in 1909) was the most understanding caring person, but you wouldn’t know it to look at her. She was the one her brother in law came out to (in the late 1940s). Which was a big deal, because he was part of a big Irish Catholic family. I remember seeing a Donahue episode in 1991 with her about “infantilism.” She understood it perfectly and didn’t react with scorn. There has always been empathy and kindness.
(DIR) Post #AodT58tjlG8o45nX2u by aaron@hilltown.studio
2024-12-02T12:47:20Z
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@futurebird @SKleefeld Indeed they love "liberal tears". It's a bully's stance, of course. And part of the reason they act that way is because at least some of them can't countenance the idea that the liberals they are bullying are actually genuine in their beliefs. That's also why there's so much projection on the right: they accuse liberals of doing things they are doing because that's the way they assume people act.Source: grew up in it.
(DIR) Post #AodT8ALAr2CTPL4aH2 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T12:47:54Z
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How “in these uncertain times” can anyone afford to be divided by nonsense?!I understand that many people must make peace with finding their family since what is a family at all if not the people who always accept and nurture you? If they reject that then there isn’t really a choice. I guess I want to recognize that it’s a terrible thing to do. It’s not unreasonable to expect a family to be a family. It is a failure.
(DIR) Post #AodTPz6rLiJzmvsFsG by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T12:51:07Z
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And it’s not just a failure of the most bigoted members, it’s a failure of those who *say* they are supportive, but also then say there isn’t anything they can do about those who are not. “he is too set in his ways, you know that” —
(DIR) Post #AodTvYnOieABRZpMNU by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T12:56:49Z
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I have a cousins who are born again Christians they go to these mega churches— and they too were welcome at our thanksgiving. We said grace & mentioned Jesus when we did. We know that is important to them. And THEY got everyone’s pronouns correct. Because mom talked to them and so did I. “you don’t really buy into all of that do you?”“oh I do buy in! ### is so happy now. You’ll see. I don’t want you to be mean or rude on accident. I know you aren’t like that.”
(DIR) Post #AodUJEOKEYMr6vO46i by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T13:01:06Z
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I expected them to give more pushback but they didn’t. I don’t think it would have gone as well if it were coming from the nephew themselves. They might have thought they could “fix” the problem. But coming from me they didn’t have much ground to stand on to push back. And I’m so glad they came. Can you see a place were you could twist a few arms in your life like this?
(DIR) Post #AodcOq5WIyOv6dmBYe by lampsofgold@veoh.social
2024-12-02T14:31:41Z
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@futurebird I’ve noticed this too, it’s got to be something about getting older putting into perspective what matters I think
(DIR) Post #AodeHghwyvOptZTAB6 by lampsofgold@veoh.social
2024-12-02T14:52:48Z
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@futurebird I was thinking a lot this weekend about the power of the invitation, a party is and should be treated as an agreement by all involved to be good to each other, then the power of the invitation is the implied threat that should you break the agreement you won’t be invited again
(DIR) Post #AodinW9o8z9gFwvskC by nirak@carhenge.club
2024-12-02T15:43:25Z
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@futurebird I read this and cried this morning. If even one adult had talked to other adults and said "hey maybe this year let's not tease Karin until she cries this time" I think I would have a much better outlook on family get togethers. As it was, I was a target - not from my cousins, but from my uncles and grandpa, who loved to pick at all the ways I was different and didn't belong.
(DIR) Post #Aodmqv2eTnxC7USl6m by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T16:28:48Z
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@lambic can you get someone else to gang up on her? That what my mom and I do. And since we famously don’t agree on anything it’s effective.
(DIR) Post #AodoA4L2EuzUPOkyjw by JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange
2024-12-02T16:43:32Z
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It was kinda amazing that my entire extended family supported me when I came out. Many are from very conservative Christian backgrounds, and knew little to nothing about trans people. But my parents and brother all supported me, and we as a family made a "united front". And moved from most likely to support to least likely to support. My parents just presented "This is Jess, she's out daughter. Being our son made her hurt and unhappy, and now we're proud and happy she's our daughter". So they all were presented with something of a choice: do you cut off our entire family, and several supportive extended family, or doubt our ability to assess who their own daughter is, or do you accept me. It made for the most straightforward path to be acceptance, even if initially confused and awkward. @futurebird
(DIR) Post #AodrPxlkjMkEWyWYgC by mcsquank@mastodon.online
2024-12-02T17:20:01Z
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@futurebird the endless credulity is so outrageous, it begins to appear intentional.
(DIR) Post #AodvB8eAPBlzjxA8US by JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange
2024-12-02T18:02:09Z
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The evergreen quote:"We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist." — Robert Jones Jr.https://www.sonofbaldwin.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/TW-150808-670x525-1.jpg@futurebird
(DIR) Post #AodwJmKmpen36DmVNY by Bronwyn@sfba.social
2024-12-02T18:14:55Z
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@futurebird I think that’s brilliant you pointing out that they wouldn’t want to be rude.
(DIR) Post #AoeCQnx0opR9PH27kW by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T21:15:30Z
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@maggiejk That would vary more. But this gives a reference point for future conversations. The most conservative ones at least aren’t republicans but I don’t know if they will enjoy when I point out how their terrible church is doing harm to our family. They only started going about 3 years back because “it’s more lively” well Jesus never said anything about lively they can go back to the more boring not bigoted church as far as I care.
(DIR) Post #AoeCS727MAeKsZ2qS8 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-12-02T21:15:42Z
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@maggiejk anyway we’re getting to that
(DIR) Post #AoevT7OZzV94EIPAiO by tofugolem@mastodon.social
2024-12-03T05:40:07Z
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@futurebird I'm happy for you.The MAGA contingent of my family cut themselves off from the rest of us long ago, and I've never been happier. Holiday meals are a lot more pleasant, plus I have less cooking and less cleaning to do.Mind you, I also have a diverse family of many races, and we still have MAGA idiots.