Post Ao9SWDZ1HIO3qutvTE by PTR_K@dice.camp
(DIR) More posts by PTR_K@dice.camp
(DIR) Post #Ao9H5kSXlYjyYt31Ye by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-11-17T23:11:40Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Do you notice when someone remembers/forgets your name?
(DIR) Post #Ao9HDg3k0dErEREACm by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-11-17T23:13:07Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I'm in the "hell no who notices THAT?" group. However ever since I forced myself to memorize every name I encounter it's like a have a super power. It is very very strange, but it works.
(DIR) Post #Ao9HSxV7RapTfaJtr6 by nazokiyoubinbou@mastodon.social
2024-11-17T23:15:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I'm so terrible with names I struggle to truly learn most people's even among those I've worked with. In high school there was one year I even sat with the same people at lunch every day and I did not know a single one of their names.Apparently they never noticed, lol.
(DIR) Post #Ao9HUOaAF2kNx0MgZk by ramsey@phpc.social
2024-11-17T23:16:07Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@futurebird What tricks/tips do you have for memorizing names like that? I’ve seen people do this as a kind of party trick, and I’ve never understood how it’s done.
(DIR) Post #Ao9HVMS5eBwJdL35Jw by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-11-17T23:16:16Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
If you are stressed out by "social things" memorizing names is like taking a tranquilizer and also suddenly not being bad it.Especially if you are a "who cares about THAT?" person. Because this isn't on your radar it could be causing people to act strange and feel offended when you don't intend that to happen.
(DIR) Post #Ao9HWawtEZjass2ksa by llewelly@sauropods.win
2024-11-17T23:16:31Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird my actual first name is too complicated for most people, and so it's hopeless. If I want people to remember the name, I have no choice but to tolerate some simplification.
(DIR) Post #Ao9HnrxHG5PiYDSgfw by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-11-17T23:19:39Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@ramsey If you are an anxious person doing it in real time might not be possible. You need to come up with a VISUAL ideally animated thing to help you remember each name and focus on that. I can do this to remember numbers, but not names. Because I like to focus on what people are saying and what they are like not their name.I memorize in advance which is often easy because of the internet. Make digital flash cards and get it done in 10min.Then I don't have to worry about names again.
(DIR) Post #Ao9HpGuRxpqWEdo9qa by crenquis@mstdn.io
2024-11-17T23:19:42Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I'm in that group; took me at least 30 yrs to realize that folks like to hear their names and get offended when they think you don't remember. I never understood why they would say "Hi, Cary" when it was just the two of us passing in the hallway, when a simple "hi" would suffice.Doesn't help that my mind goes completely blank in those first seconds of interaction.
(DIR) Post #Ao9HuAnY74xQjGuwIS by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-11-17T23:20:48Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@crenquis Even worse for a long time I thought if someone knew my name it meant I'd done something wrong and I'd try to avoid them. LAMO.
(DIR) Post #Ao9HyHZAtJyYsX9YnI by TerryHancock@realsocial.life
2024-11-17T23:21:21Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird Since I'm rather bad at remembering names, I'm pretty understanding when other people forget.
(DIR) Post #Ao9I0aTRZ3MM6AZVDM by evan@cosocial.ca
2024-11-17T23:21:55Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I thought "almost always" and then I realized that if I *didn't* notice, I wouldn't know! So I said "It is complex". I'm sure people forget my name all the time, and we just don't interact enough for me to know that they do. Or they're good enough at faking it that I'm completely oblivious.
(DIR) Post #Ao9I3FYRnYP05TBKQC by cshlan@dawdling.net
2024-11-17T23:22:22Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebirdI notice if they use my name an unusual amount. It's unsettling to me. Though I understand other people like it.
(DIR) Post #Ao9I4hZH8AXbG6GGCu by GGMcBG@mstdn.plus
2024-11-17T23:22:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird My mom called me the dog's name more often than the dog.Dunno why, but my sister has the same thing and calls me her son's name, or she calls my nephew my name. They are simply similar.In decades of retail I have had more names than I can name.And I notice every time because it usually follows after I say "Hi, (acquaintaince with syllables and umlauts and angel horns that I remember how to pronounce) how ya been?"😆I just notice everything. Not a bad thing being forgettable.
(DIR) Post #Ao9I8ayRaas5xwtGOe by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-11-17T23:23:24Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@GGMcBG I call my husband "Pica" when I'm annoyed.
(DIR) Post #Ao9IOCTORzCcbxo8OG by va2lam@mastodon.nz
2024-11-17T23:26:10Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I've set up Anki decks with student photos and names in the past. This coming term I'm going to be lecturing to 3 classes with 380 students in total, which is too much, though selectively learning the names of the 30 students who come to each class is doable if I have the data...
(DIR) Post #Ao9IPx4Kh4vFPnv9xg by billyjoebowers@mastodon.online
2024-11-17T23:26:31Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird It's really hard for me to remember people's names, and I'm always surprised when people remember mine.
(DIR) Post #Ao9IabAWSU2Ag7tQEy by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-11-17T23:28:27Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@ramsey In my experience people who can memorize dozens of names in real time are NOT paying attention to what anyone is saying. They are literally just processing names full time.I found this out because the first thing I tried was to learn from someone who could do that trick. I realized I wouldn't be present at the event if I did that. Personally it's a neat trick but IDK if it is worth it. You can find people's name and photo online. Just prepare in advance.
(DIR) Post #Ao9IiR029QPtSKiuMi by JoeBeam@mastodon.social
2024-11-17T23:29:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @ramsey I work with a lot of people. Who I work will change often with a core group of people I consistently work with, so I can’t remember a lot of my co-workers names.However I can remember their faces and under what circumstances I’ve known them. Which include location, relationships, occupation, etc.
(DIR) Post #Ao9IyyRnYof9pGb3Ro by paulywill@fosstodon.org
2024-11-17T23:32:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I have the whitest forgetable names out there….that and Dick and Peter
(DIR) Post #Ao9JAcXmp4S7Mux21I by Gorfram@beige.party
2024-11-17T23:34:57Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I notice when they remember. That someone would forget seems so commonplace to as to be utterly unnoticeable.*tbf, I am usually distracted at such times by my frustration & embarrassment at not remembering their name. While this is also very commonplace, I find it *extremely* noticable.
(DIR) Post #Ao9JXcGO23q39tmGsS by i_cannot_today@ohai.social
2024-11-17T23:39:05Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I notice but I don't care because learning names is hard, shrug
(DIR) Post #Ao9KKu5OYYrscm8e1Y by Sharksonaplane@mastodon.sandwich.net
2024-11-17T23:48:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I'm generally good with names, but in my experience both in teaching and networking, people notice less if you remember their name and more if you remember other things about them, which has saved me a couple of times 😅That said, I notice/feel a way about it a lot more if people are explicit about forgetting my name. I know it seems backwards! But I vastly prefer figuring it out during the convo or asking someone else after, over being told "sorry, who are you again?" to my face 😅
(DIR) Post #Ao9KT6TONxuNMJGyxM by musiciankate@hcommons.social
2024-11-17T23:49:29Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird It is complex, and in this talk I will consider a few different scenarios. Most of the time, I think I'm pretty oblivious. I probably assume that people who have known me a long time know my name and people I have recently met do not. On occasion, I will notice that somebody has remembered my name and be impressed, because I did not expect them to remember my name. Maybe a tinge of guilt because I don't remember theirs. I will also sometimes notice when somebody is trying to remember my name. I am most likely to notice this if they ask me to remind them what my name is. Most people are better at learning names than me. I try to remember the names that I hear long enough to be able to rehearse them and connect them to facts about the person, but it takes me a while to get confident with remembered names.
(DIR) Post #Ao9Ke4NYVnHe37lvGa by sgillies@mastodon.social
2024-11-17T23:51:28Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I notice, but it's super easy to forgive at the same time. We're all overloaded.
(DIR) Post #Ao9L8y51yqv3UVqBOq by djm62@beige.party
2024-11-17T23:56:59Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I have a weird* name, I notice when people actually get it right, but wrong is par for the course* statistically improbable for every culture I commonly encounter, including my own: it's not all consonants or a UUID or anything
(DIR) Post #Ao9Mm2eozohCw2mF7o by rehana@mastodon.social
2024-11-18T00:15:06Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird 1) I often spend time around people who are comfortable saying "I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name." So I don't care, but I am aware of it. (I may not remember meeting them at all)2) I notice when someone remembers my name on the first try after a big group introduction, because who DOES that?
(DIR) Post #Ao9Q3dNE2TzDascvi4 by futurebird@sauropods.win
2024-11-18T00:52:07Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@blikkie I used to think that such people just had magical social powers, and perhaps some do. But, it's also possible to just ... study. The nice thing is as one is learning a whole bunch of names you think about each person a little and remember things you might want to do or say to them the next time you see them. But for a long time doing that seemed "creepy and strange" is it?IDK. I'm not naturally good with names but I do want to know who everyone is.
(DIR) Post #Ao9Rd0V694MbPVjxcu by jstevenyork@mastodon.social
2024-11-18T01:09:44Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird The neuro-spicy mess that is my brain doesn't like to remember names, and usually it doesn't, and when it does, it forgets them fairly quickly. I just warn people when we're introduced that I'll probably forget their names, and don't get offended, it's just me. When I write a novel, or even a short story, I just routinely create a "bible" of people and places in second open document, because otherwise, errors are almost certain.
(DIR) Post #Ao9S2gD4CzsY0bY2Xw by Seanochicago@mastodon.sdf.org
2024-11-18T01:14:17Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @ramsey When I took a new job, I started carrying a small notebook (think Field Notes) where I wrote down names, companies, anything useful as soon as I could. I also included memory joggers like “this guy looks like Seal” or “Tall woman with purple glasses.” When I was in a conference meeting, I’d draw a table and write down the names of all the people at it. The more you get used to capturing data to help your memory, the better your memory gets.
(DIR) Post #Ao9SWDZ1HIO3qutvTE by PTR_K@dice.camp
2024-11-18T01:19:42Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @ramsey I'm pretty bad at remembering names, or connecting them with faces (but better that I was 10 years ago). Sometimes even the names of folks I know well just slip out of my head, even if I used them a bunch in the past.I've sometimes tried looking up pictures online in advance, but this is hit or miss. My place of work doesn't require pictures, and even folks who supply them sometimes have a cat or their kids or comic character or something in place of their personal photo.
(DIR) Post #Ao9Su0OjsbaByAR2jA by PTR_K@dice.camp
2024-11-18T01:24:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I never remember anyone forgetting my name. I always just assumed most other folks were really good at remembering names. But maybe I'm just oblivious when they forget. Or maybe I'm just quirky enough in some way to stand out pretty well in their memories.
(DIR) Post #Ao9TCsRhfb9CoAovmi by catmisgivings@stranger.social
2024-11-18T01:27:24Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @blikkie when I was a teaching assistant I didn't start learning students' names until I had graded some of their written work. Like, I needed a little of their personality to hang the name on, somehow?
(DIR) Post #Ao9Tg4OmJCHIHFN9W4 by UnCoveredMyths@autistics.life
2024-11-18T01:32:38Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird Living in a retirement community, we have people here with such advanced dementia, they don’t even remember their spouse’s name.We all have trouble with names here.I despise my name, yet am glad when someone I respect remembers it.It doesn’t bother me if they don’t.I can be thinking about someone by name, remembering I haven’t seen them for a few days, then when they walk up with their walker, cannot remember their name. Just seconds having elapsed.As an author, I should remember my characters names.I have been pulled out of writing an intense scene, by forgetting the main character’s name!So names are… difficult.I don’t blame anyone for forgetting them.Of course it doesn’t help when we have at least four people with three different common names, and two couples, with both spouses having near identical names.
(DIR) Post #Ao9tw06Af5QENkvTO4 by MishaVanMollusq@sfba.social
2024-11-18T06:26:52Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird @blikkie 400 hundred people is kinda at a maximum for what our Chimp designed brains can handle.This is a good size for tribe or village.After that face blurring sets in and bios scramble.
(DIR) Post #AoDBaKyMkjqfOsyVBQ by NatalyaD@disabled.social
2024-11-19T20:28:45Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I may notice, but I also know there's huge variation in how good people are at name-memory or face-recognition or whatever. I'm deaf, I'm poor at auditory only name memory. If I see a name written and associated with the face, I will remember the name very well. I hope we can move to an acceptance that name/face/other memory is variable and it's OK to say "Remind me of your name" and that not be a shameful thing to ask.
(DIR) Post #AoFhTUkxZ32wZBPBeS by jstevenyork@mastodon.social
2024-11-21T01:35:33Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird Perhaps a more informative question might have been, if you DO notice someone getting your name wrong, do you do anything about it? I probably face this more often than most, in that I go by my middle name "Steven" or "Steve" and not my first "James" which was and will always be my dad to me. Do not like to be called James, but I often tolerate it when the interaction is formal and transitory.
(DIR) Post #AoFhpMkU18NQ6NbxAW by jstevenyork@mastodon.social
2024-11-21T01:39:29Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@futurebird I also suffer from people trying to spell my name "Stephen," and unfortunately, as a writer, this has happened to me repeatedly in print. Nothing more depressing than opening a magazine or seeing a book ad and I'm identified as "J. Stephen York." Or "Stephen J. York" or "Steven J. York" for that matter.