Post AdRKTsAcJwZD2oPMBc by vivi@misskey.bubbletea.dev
(DIR) More posts by vivi@misskey.bubbletea.dev
(DIR) Post #AdREib2ZgvOgXJHeoy by vivi@misskey.bubbletea.dev
2024-01-02T14:36:20.619Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
In the deepest depths of my mind, there's a tiny little voice telling me to do things. It's quiet, and most of the time I don't even pay it any attention at all. But it's there and won't go away.And sometimes, on days where my downage is particularly bad, the tiny voice grows louder. "Don't worry about what people think", it says. I try to ignore it and continue about my day.But it keeps making demands and the more down I get, the louder the voice gets."Post Maiqo art from Twitter," it says. "I won't post full-on porn on main, that's embarrassing. Leave me alone." But it just repeats its demands, over and over. "I know you want to," it sneers, "it's turbo horny, but I know you do."The voice grows louder, and I can't ignore it anymore. My resolve weakens. I load up Twitter and repost whatever art I can find that's saucy, yet SFW. "Not enough! You know what I want. You know what YOU want," it hisses, repeats at me. I crop some of the NSFW art before I post it too. I'm wrestling with myself to leave it at this."You know what you should do?" the voice asks. "You should write some smut and post it." "Fuck off, you're deranged," I snap back. It laughs. "I am, but so are you. We both know you are. Do it." "I'm not!", I protest. "This is my main, everyone knows me on here!" "So?" the voice asks. I'm sweating. "I post my music on here sometimes! Imagine it takes off, and listeners somehow find my smut!" It laughs. "All you're giving me are excuses. But you never say 'I don't want to.' " "Fuck you" is all I can force out in response.I try to go back to what I was doing, but can't. My head is filled with the voice. "Come on. Write something. Post it. I know how fun it is for you to write. I know how full of ideas you are. Pick one, write it out and post it. Do it. Post it. Post. It."I'm struggling to keep my composure now. I can't focus on anything. I click on Misskey and hit N. I start typing but cut the scenario off right at the NSFW part and phrase the post as an elaborate joke. As long as it's a joke, it's still fine. Crass, but fine, it's just a joke. It's just a meme. I'm not genuine about this; that would be cringe and embarrassing. But I'm not. I'm just memeing. I hit post."This stops here!" I shout at the voice. "It's bad enough that I've gotten this far!" "Bad?", it sneers, "didn't seem to feel very 'bad' when typing it, did it?" "That's not the point!" I angrily reply. "I don't want to be one of those people. I won't shamelessly post porn on Fedi. Fuck off! Leave me alone! Die! Die die die die die!"I shut my laptop and focus on my breathing. The voice is protesting but becomes quieter. It slips into the back of my mind again.After a bit, I open my laptop and continue work. All is well. Like it always is. Ultimately I've never lost control, I've never truly indulged in what the voice tells me to do.But it never goes away either. It's always there, never quiet. Demanding I go full out, just once.So what if one day I did?
(DIR) Post #AdRF6NBOriHWVWkWDg by AnCuRuadh@awwter.online
2024-01-02T14:38:15Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@vivi Nice! :blobfox3c:
(DIR) Post #AdRF6OWhryv2ftj34K by vivi@misskey.bubbletea.dev
2024-01-02T14:40:38.245Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@AnCuRuadh@awwter.online no it's not nice it is a liability to this server and network
(DIR) Post #AdRI7YqnGpseqWMwPw by vivi@misskey.bubbletea.dev
2024-01-02T15:14:28.614Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
just once, just one single time. what's the worst thing that could happen
(DIR) Post #AdRIBmzMeAPbqyOU9Q by mia@movsw.0x0.st
2024-01-02T15:15:43.666Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@vivi i did something like that once and half my followers were very disturbed :neofox_floof_angel:
(DIR) Post #AdRKTsAcJwZD2oPMBc by vivi@misskey.bubbletea.dev
2024-01-02T15:40:55.334Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
i could make an ao3 account and post something on there and link it here. no one would dig through my old posts right? no one would be weirded out by reading what vivi wrote right
(DIR) Post #AdRKVyCYrpMkKUJkGW by vivi@misskey.bubbletea.dev
2024-01-02T15:41:18.210Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@mia@movsw.0x0.st what was the post.....
(DIR) Post #AdRKi1vkpSN1MyCsuu by mia@movsw.0x0.st
2024-01-02T15:43:55.194Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@vivi i dumped a lot of nsfw artcuriously only my male followers seemed to take issue with it :neofox_think:
(DIR) Post #AdRKmaFhADseyThn9M by Rocc@misskey.bubbletea.dev
2024-01-02T15:44:18.411Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@vivi let your freak flag fly girl