Post AcylC48Zrmp91QD1fs by shoulderdemon@nnia.space
(DIR) More posts by shoulderdemon@nnia.space
(DIR) Post #AcyeKc4yr6bIvdegsq by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T19:37:08Z
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Being anti c is not a lifestyle choice and not a matter of personal boundaries, it is opposition to the idea and the practice of youth age gap relationships. Choosing not to engage in these relationships oneself while not caring if they happen elsewhere is not anti c, neither moderate or radical. That's what we have the word "nomap" for. Or "non practicing" if you prefer zoo discourse.
(DIR) Post #AcygrYNVpwouul9sdE by freecss@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:05:28Z
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@comrade_lecter What if I believe that no-one *should* have sexual relations with children, but I also do not feel like I have the authority to *judge* people if they do unless there are clear signs of actual harm? (Not trying to be annoying, genuinely curious here as to where you'd draw the line.)
(DIR) Post #AcyhPg4tiRDidmitOK by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:11:42Z
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@freecss for me believing that something is wrong to do and disapproving of those who voluntarily pursue it are the same thing. One logically follows out of the other - if something's wrong, yet someone is doing it, that someone is doing something wrong.
(DIR) Post #Acyj97Ukj6keet35yC by shoulderdemon@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:31:03Z
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@comrade_lecter I am pretty committed (not a hard rule, more like a general principle) to never say something like "what your label *actually* means is *this*" - not even in more extreme hypothetical cases like "I'm pro-c because I believe that all sex should be illegal." At most I'll say "you are using that label in a very atypical way."
(DIR) Post #AcyjQs9uU7H4J4lUq8 by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:34:19Z
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@shoulderdemon that's counterproductive. These aren't personal identity labels, they're ideologies. People made them up to organize particular sets of beliefs.
(DIR) Post #AcykatS2dNnpAIaWUy by freecss@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:47:18Z
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@comrade_lecter Ah it's difficult to explain what difference I'm trying to point at here exactly. Perhaps it's the difference between condemning the *action* and condemning the *person*? Like, I don't like that you're doing it but I don't think you're an evil person because of this one action. Rather many of our beliefs and actions are shaped by the environment we find ourselves in, and it's just inherently very hard to spot the bad parts when you're in the middle of it.
(DIR) Post #AcykoCWV2KZM521EUC by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:49:45Z
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@freecss I don't think I tend to condemn the person in that way, because I hate a whole lot of people for a whole lot of reasons, and I'm used to thinking that my attitude to the person doesn't mean shit. No, I condemn the practice. And I want it to stop.
(DIR) Post #AcykxsxWd8hGIbHHua by mikayla@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:51:30Z
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@comrade_lecter For me, being anti-c is a personal choice for me, how I am going to act in this world. I won't ever have sex with a child, I won't ever seek out child porn. It is also what I advocate for, I think we can give love to children in other ways, familiar ways, and that it will be way healthier for children.I don't feel the nomap label described me, because it says nothing about why I have chosen not to have sex. I have chosen it because I think it is ethically and morally wrong, because I feel it is at fundamental risk of causing harm to children. I do not feel comfortable around people who choose to not have sex with children merely because it is illegal or socially unacceptable.This is why I feel so strongly I am anti-c, because not only am I acting in the right way, I am acting in the right way for the right reasons.
(DIR) Post #Acyl4gCITbfCkKQWsy by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:52:43Z
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@freecss @aronarchy I'm not sure I understand the difference. There are people out there who believe "actual abuse" (physical violence and damage) is okay. Why do you have no humility for that?
(DIR) Post #AcylC48Zrmp91QD1fs by shoulderdemon@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:54:01Z
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@comrade_lecter I believe they can factor into some people's identities, but more importantly I don't think they do a good job of organizing particular sets of beliefs, which is why this conversation happened.
(DIR) Post #AcylF4Viw1rB34T8Zk by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:54:36Z
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@mikayla I guess you could create an anti c adjacent contact stance, something like "ego anti c", to specify that it's only about you, but that's not what other people mean when they say they're anti c. In general, we're anti c with the whole world in mind.
(DIR) Post #AcylW9xfvESEsQgufY by freecss@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:57:39Z
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@comrade_lecter @aronarchy Because one has to draw a boundary *somewhere*? I can't be infinitely tolerant or I would be tolerating literal child rapists. But I try to listen and to be open to people even when their views shock me at first, because that is the only way I can learn. I don't think I would've lasted very long here on the pediverse if I didn't have that attitude.
(DIR) Post #AcylYWSDGZdHDQ6MXQ by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:58:09Z
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@shoulderdemon there's no classification of anything that's not flawed, but where would we be if we just decided that language limitations mean we don't need to try to be accurate anymore?
(DIR) Post #AcylinmngHavrjdIZ6 by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T20:59:58Z
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@freecss @aronarchy is where one draws the boundary determined by the amount of humility? If we gathered together, you, I, and a hypothetical supporter of violent rape, would that person be simply the most humble among us?
(DIR) Post #AcymRpDZCkMvKycaH2 by freecss@nnia.space
2023-12-19T21:08:05Z
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@comrade_lecter @aronarchy I'm not sure if I understand the second part of the question, so let me answer the first. I don't think where one draws the line is determined by the level of humility, but rather by the level of knowledge about the situation. If I know more about where a person's beliefs come from then I would feel I'm in a better position to judge them. But obviously that's a hard thing to do on an anonymous internet site.(As a side note, this conversation is getting kind of intense for me. Maybe I'm wrong about this humility thing and I'm just using it as an excuse to justify my own implicit biases. I apologize for that. I just feel *really* *genuinely* *extremely* confused by a lot of these questions and I'm trying my best to give a proper answer, but I feel like I'm failing.)
(DIR) Post #AcymW5U0fmNywQLRYW by mikayla@nnia.space
2023-12-19T21:08:53Z
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@comrade_lecter I thought "open anti-c" was a good word.
(DIR) Post #AcymfgUyQ3hALiN7AG by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T21:10:36Z
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@freecss @aronarchy apologies for the intensity. I don't feel any specific way about this interaction and I'm not angry at you. I'm just tired and not inserting enough filler words. I do wanna keep talking about it, maybe later?
(DIR) Post #AcymlCFtm8qaHzwu9I by freecss@nnia.space
2023-12-19T21:11:36Z
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@comrade_lecter Yes, let's continue the conversation later. Thank you for your understanding.
(DIR) Post #Acyn7hHZ6C44t8SQvA by shoulderdemon@nnia.space
2023-12-19T21:15:40Z
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@comrade_lecter We still have a lot of margin left before we hit my extreme hypothetical example. Until that point, I think my way is more accurate by encouraging people to better represent their opponents' views.Though I should emphasize that this is "my way" and although I obviously approve of it and think it's better, I don't want to force it on anyone.
(DIR) Post #AcysXtOLCOcnkDwAM4 by comrade_lecter@nnia.space
2023-12-19T22:16:24Z
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@shoulderdemon well, yeah, changing the subject changes the way the discourse surrounding it looks. Contact stances don't even translate well between paraphilias.