Post AbNxRGd4P9kDBURP2u by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
(DIR) More posts by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
(DIR) Post #AbLlFJ0l47GoVBJeyW by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T03:28:48Z
2 likes, 2 repeats
Shout out to that time a long-time friend of a friend who always had a crush on me was devastated when I called her out (and ultimately cut her off) for hitting her child.No one is going to beat their child in public and expect to not get an ear full out of me. I dont care who you are.
(DIR) Post #AbLz7L0l90GpkLPZvU by AmpBenzScientist@qoto.org
2023-11-01T06:04:15Z
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@freemo Shout-out for doing the right thing, facing punishment and staying true to yourself.
(DIR) Post #AbMq6BCoTqYTRfCIAy by niclas@angrytoday.com
2023-11-01T15:57:54Z
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@AmpBenzScientist And in private doesn't make it less evil! Some people have wondered why (for instance) Sweden had so few (until recently) murders, compared to (for instance) USA. I think part of it is that "disciplining children" (by physical or mental violence) has been denounced for many generations, and illegal since (I think) the 1960s.Good communities start by stopping violence against children.@freemo
(DIR) Post #AbMqQFJCw0phxjkxqy by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T16:01:32Z
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@niclas For sure, i would call it out in private too.. In this situation she had done it in public and a bunch of people int he resteraunt gave her shit.. she came to me to complain how she was "disiplining" her kid in public and how she got in trouble.... this was when i learned she hit her kid and i lost it. I didnt see the actual abuse, she was coming to me to tell me how she was "unfairly" criticized for hitting her kid. My response was "good, they should have criticized you, your lucky thats all they did, stop beating your child"@AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbMrFMSg6INAunYm5A by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-01T16:10:47.722394Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist Was it a beating, or a spanking?
(DIR) Post #AbMrMUPmvcgpbpbhwW by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T16:12:01Z
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@realcaseyrollins Those sound like the same things to me.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbMrUa8nWVNXgVWE9g by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-01T16:13:32.419447Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist I suppose I should have asked if you thought there was a difference between the two lol
(DIR) Post #AbMrXmetRIhTNO3efg by niclas@angrytoday.com
2023-11-01T16:14:07Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@realcaseyrollins Does it matter? The long-term trauma in the child is not so much "amount of pain", but the betrayal of the parents, who are their only source of protection, love and comfort.@AmpBenzScientist @freemo
(DIR) Post #AbMrdMVdZgsq0sO9HU by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T16:15:05Z
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@realcaseyrollins I mean your the one asking the question.to me a spanking is just a very specific type of beating where you are inflicting pain on the child by beating them on the ass.I think parents mostly use it as a euphemism for beating their child without needing to admit they actually beat their child.
(DIR) Post #AbMrzKJKQgJXZ76YBk by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T16:19:05Z
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@niclas Yea the fact that your parents employ effectively torture techniques (albeit it in lighter form) to get compliance is just disgusting... We have abolished it throughout most of the modern of world but people still think its ok to use pain and abuse to control your child...@realcaseyrollins @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbMt18395PxI4VxUC8 by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-01T16:30:36.525542Z
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@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @freemo I get that to a degree, but I’d argue that something very small like a singular, relatively gentle smack on the hand of a small child isn’t anything to be particularly worried about, depending on how and why it’s done.
(DIR) Post #AbMt9nNbJ4OSZSeu8G by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T16:32:07Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@realcaseyrollins A gentle smack ont he hand that doesnt inflict much pain is a non issue.. I wouldnt even call that a spanking, thats just a gesture, I'd do that with my friend if he tried to steal my food :)@niclas @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbMv3JFibbInIv0UOe by bonifartius@qoto.org
2023-11-01T16:53:25Z
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@freemo @niclas @realcaseyrollins @AmpBenzScientist now we only need to not use the equivalent of white torture with all the psychological abuse happening which often is white washed by childcare textbooks etc.
(DIR) Post #AbMv7IT3SvjW1o97ya by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T16:54:06Z
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@bonifartius Not sure what "white torture" is?@niclas @realcaseyrollins @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbMvn3R7k1WjZY9duS by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-01T17:01:41.696041Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist I would too, if I had better boundaries 😂But I think that would be a spanking in its best form, IMHO.
(DIR) Post #AbMvvmP2RQJNLkL7Gi by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T17:03:15Z
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@realcaseyrollins For me to qualify as a beating (including spanking) it needs to inflict some level of pain and suffering as a learning tactic.. if its just physical contact but doesnt raise to the status of "pain" then i wouldnt say it qualifies.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbMw5bCgvzIBVoFM4e by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-01T17:05:02.223403Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist What would be some good alternatives to spankings for younger children? I’d be more apt to condemn all spanking if I knew of some good alternatives.
(DIR) Post #AbMwRPd0eVg9ywxSng by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T17:08:56Z
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@realcaseyrollins Depends on the age and the style of parenting. My personal choice would be to take away privilages.. whether its TV time, or desert or something. Largely because I think that teaches the best real world lesson... people wont (and shouldnt) punch you in the face int eh real world, but they may stop doing your favors or helping you out.Of course then you also have "time out", sending them to their room, hell just talking to them can go a long way. If you treat kids rationally and logically from a young age they are quite capable of reasoning from when they first aquire language skills. The reason most kids cant is because they arent treated as such for many years, so they never learn to reason and discuss. you can get 98% of the way there just talking to your kids respectfully and firmly from a young age.
(DIR) Post #AbMxU1Jhb8WvP8jbsW by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-01T17:20:39.248601Z
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@freemo This makes a lot of sense 👍🏾 I guess this is what they call “getting grounded”?My primary concern would be with a punishment where their compliance would be necessary, such as a time out. I mean, you could lock them in their room…but that just sounds so wrong to do.
(DIR) Post #AbMxlb9nb8GdU4U5lw by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T17:23:48Z
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@realcaseyrollins Tahts why for me personally I'd stick with punishments that involve me taking something away that I give them. Maybe its desert, maybe its access to TV, depends on what they enjoy... If i am a good parent then I should be someone who provides all sorts of things for my child to support their happiness, things that can be taken away too. If taking away what I give my child isnt enough of a punishment then maybe im not a great parent to begin with and need to reconsider what **I** do.I know as a kid for me computer and internet was important. All my mom would have had to do was turn off the electricity or the internet and it would have been a pretty impactful punishment.
(DIR) Post #AbN0afdAvL1S2JhoTQ by niclas@angrytoday.com
2023-11-01T17:55:28Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@freemo As a not-perfect father, I tried to combine the "disconnect Internet" with rewards for good behavior and explaining it clearly."Daddy, I want to play...""Ok, have you done X, Y and Z?""Uhhhhh.....""When you have done that, you can play until 8 o'clock"or"No, not today, because you did X, and that is not good. So no play until tomorrow, IF you behave better..."Worked to a large degree and didn't need to resort to "pain". His mum yelled a lot.@realcaseyrollins
(DIR) Post #AbN0inRDmSvcZBzNoW by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T17:56:57Z
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@niclas it depends a lot on how you raise them when their younger.I see a lot of parents fail at those tactics, but its usually parents trying to improve their parenting once the kid is pre-teen when its far too late, dynamics are already established.
(DIR) Post #AbN0qArF6aHhEEg7Jw by niclas@angrytoday.com
2023-11-01T17:58:12Z
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@freemo Exactly!
(DIR) Post #AbN0s0Qar0hjSb5Rbs by niclas@angrytoday.com
2023-11-01T17:57:24Z
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@freemo Friends often said "We can't do like that. Your child is so nice and sweet. We need to discipline ours...", not understanding/seeing the direct line that "nice and sweet" comes from being nice and sweet to the kids.@realcaseyrollins
(DIR) Post #AbN9ucW377fDkqxajY by hans@hubzilla.hopto.org
2023-11-01T19:39:51Z
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Hitting someone, or something is a stupid thing @🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱. If does not matter if they do it in public or where nobodye sees it.
(DIR) Post #AbNAXR01rjFRKZUVV2 by hans@hubzilla.hopto.org
2023-11-01T19:46:53Z
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@🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱 and the others in this discussion. In the Netherlands it is punishable to hit your kids since the beginning of this century to be honest. I think it is even stupid to need such laws, it should be a logical part of raising kids.Yeah, parents all make mistakes but some things are logical
(DIR) Post #AbNCuIZzXL2vmlLI92 by PonyPanda@freespeechextremist.com
2023-11-01T20:13:30.922842Z
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@freemo “Speak roughly to your little boy,And beat him when he sneezes:He only does it to annoy,Because he knows it teases.”
(DIR) Post #AbNDDydNP2eliYJDnc by hans@hubzilla.hopto.org
2023-11-01T20:16:56Z
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LOL
(DIR) Post #AbNN7rf9POFvtsrZFw by bonifartius@qoto.org
2023-11-01T22:07:58Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
@freemo @niclas @realcaseyrollins @AmpBenzScientist ah, it's how psychological torture is called in german because you don't get your hands dirty. guess that one doesn't translate :)why i say this is that many ideas still pushed in one form or another are rooted in people like johanna haarer (i'm sure there are equivalents around the globe):> In 1934 one of the most powerful publishing houses of that period released a guidebook by Johanna Haarer – one of the well-known women in Nazi Germany – on the topic of infant care. This book, The German Mother and her First Child, was in its tenth edition at the end of the war. It is still on the market, with changes that obscure its origin and ideology, not revealing the year of its first appearance.[32] In her critical analysis of this and another book on child-rearing by Haarer, Sigrid Chamberlain concludes that child-raising and education in Nazi Germany and the early post-war years are characterized by coldness, harshness, and indifference. She views these theories as a "seamless transition into the ideology and the institutions of the Nazi state", stating that it is "time" to deal with the fact that "the majority of those born during the Third Reich and the post-war years were released into life with early Nazi ideology, without ever realizing this fact and its possible consequences."[33] In 1977 the concept of "Black Pedagogy", introduced by sociologist Katharina Rutschky, was established, summarizing – among other concepts – the child-raising and educational methods of this period. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_childhood_in_World_War_II
(DIR) Post #AbNNEkNsrt9zLz4J7o by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-01T22:09:14.229152Z
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@bonifartius @freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist Doesn’t the Bible literally say spare the rod and spoil the child?I don’t think spanking and beating children started in #Nazi #Germany.
(DIR) Post #AbNNKPBcasuRLb1yF6 by bonifartius@qoto.org
2023-11-01T22:10:15Z
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@realcaseyrollins that's why i wrote that haarer likely has equivalents around the world :)@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @freemo
(DIR) Post #AbNNO1EtZScoEcHkRc by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-01T22:10:52Z
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@realcaseyrollins Actually despite the phrase being repeates as you just said it that is not the actual wording in the bible. This is the wording from the bible:Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @bonifartius
(DIR) Post #AbNRJ69KHs5vpeabdw by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-01T22:54:50.976515Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @bonifartius Perhaps I shouldn’t have said literally 😂Still, the principle is there.
(DIR) Post #AbNkvMp8dfedgE6m4O by AmpBenzScientist@qoto.org
2023-11-02T02:34:40Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@bonifartius @freemo @niclas @realcaseyrollins White Room?
(DIR) Post #AbNljhU85yIEErHZ7w by AmpBenzScientist@qoto.org
2023-11-02T02:39:44Z
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@realcaseyrollins @niclas @freemo Tell them to get ready for pushups until they can do no more. Exercise has a positive effect on behavior and they learn the basics of rechanneling their emotions.
(DIR) Post #AbNljllIC6OlVFLKQy by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T02:43:41.911568Z
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@AmpBenzScientist @niclas @freemo I’m not sure how I feel about this one. I might not want to associate exercise with punishment. Or it could backfire if they like to exercise.
(DIR) Post #AbNluCnoVpqqGQUygq by AmpBenzScientist@qoto.org
2023-11-02T02:44:50Z
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@realcaseyrollins @niclas @freemo Pain is weakness leaving the body.
(DIR) Post #AbNluDdZPPFeqwiJMW by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T02:45:35Z
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@AmpBenzScientist And by applying basically logic that means pleasure is weakness entering the body.... bring it!@realcaseyrollins @niclas
(DIR) Post #AbNm4OWzlBvBXHUTDc by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T02:47:29.949980Z
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@freemo @AmpBenzScientist @niclas I agree with both lol
(DIR) Post #AbNnFnYn8wU0IkKfM8 by sj_zero@social.fbxl.net
2023-11-02T03:00:41.573648Z
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One thing many people say to me is that all kids are different, and as one of 6 kids I tend to agree. It's amazing how different the outcomes can be from very similar beginnings.There might be alternatives to spanking, and they might work really well for some kids. But there might be kids who need some physical reinforcement. Until the vague concept of "a child" with all its superpositions of what a child could be collapses into "the child in front of you right now" you can't know exactly what will or won't work.That said, it's something you have to be careful of because the purpose of any discipline is not to make the parent feel better, but to try to help the child in the long run. One of the dangers of using pain as a disciplinary tool is there's always a risk of misusing it or using it instead of better tools for the job because it feel better in a moment of negative emotion from the parent.
(DIR) Post #AbNnRAFh7D6brfory4 by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T03:02:47Z
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@sj_zero While I obviously agree that kids need very different ways to learn, the idea that beting them might be an effective child rearing tool for **any** child just sounds bonkers to me.NO child is going to learn best from being beat, none.. . The few who might appear to be raised well will have serious underlying issues that scar them for the rest of their lives. How aware of it they are is another matter.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @realcaseyrollins
(DIR) Post #AbNocogrCvs2Q9e2E4 by AmpBenzScientist@qoto.org
2023-11-02T03:16:07Z
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@freemo @realcaseyrollins @niclas Like Water Fluoridation?
(DIR) Post #AbNp1DK9GthhlrelO4 by sj_zero@social.fbxl.net
2023-11-02T03:20:29.421924Z
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Thankfully, the superposition collapsed for me with a son who responds to positive and negative reinforcement that doesn't require anything physical.I think if I ended up in that hypothetical scenario where he did need that.... I dunno, might just let the little guy grow up to be a serial killer and just act dumb...
(DIR) Post #AbNpM0A7Oya921sSDA by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T03:24:16Z
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@sj_zero I mean thats what most parents do, they take their frustration out on their kids by beating them, call it disciplin so they can lie to themselves and not feel guilty when they beat their child out of frustration.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @realcaseyrollins
(DIR) Post #AbNpSSMLTi2GDmfrns by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T03:25:26.268661Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@freemo @sj_zero @niclas @AmpBenzScientist I don’t think anyone here is condoning spanking or beating for emotionally soothing reasons though.
(DIR) Post #AbNpbZMCpWdYWxxEWm by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T03:27:04Z
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@realcaseyrollins Of course not. The problem is any parent who beats their kid that is ultimately why. Most parent would never admit it, and as usually happens they use something as an excuse (like religion or disciplin or whatever)... but the truth is, they are taking the easy way out as parents, just hit the kid still he stops doing what you dont want... @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbNpjnDJCCYLp3iKSu by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T03:28:29.727811Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero The problem is any parent who beats their kid that is ultimately why.Now THAT’S outta pocket. How can you possibly know the motive of every parent who beats or spanks their kid?
(DIR) Post #AbNpvE9bNBraYsQsca by sj_zero@social.fbxl.net
2023-11-02T03:30:37.497057Z
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Definitely the dangerous thing about that. Using "discipline" as an excuse for their own lack of discipline. Not a lot of people implementing consistent rules and routines with positive feedback for success out of frustration."Listen here boy! I'm gonna come back there and give you the same fair and reasonable bedtime every night with a standard bedtime routine you come to recognise and follow. That'll learn you, you little bastard!"
(DIR) Post #AbNpvheRhalc2w5QDw by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T03:30:42Z
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@realcaseyrollins Because we arent talking about conscious motive for one, and for two, you simply can not be a rational well reasoned parent who doesnt have emotional issues and still beat your child.Thats like saying "well how can you know hitlers motives"... well I dont need to to know he is messed up in the head and has issues to even act that way.Parents who beat their kids arent hitlet, but they are similarly fucked up, no parent could be their kid and not be @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbNpytQSNjE1Qt42uO by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T03:31:17Z
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@sj_zero Hahaha exactly!@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @realcaseyrollins
(DIR) Post #AbNq5Ir6kNQy2VaR4C by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T03:32:28.030331Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero Comparing parents who spank their children to literally #Hitler is wild
(DIR) Post #AbNq8VweXN6zVKiAq0 by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T03:33:01Z
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@realcaseyrollins As I said, they arent hitler... but yea you cant beat any child, least of all your own, and not be a seriously disturbed person.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbNr9k03rn29L4SFNo by sj_zero@social.fbxl.net
2023-11-02T03:44:27.073485Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
At any rate, I think three men having discussions about positive parenting strategies is a good indication that we all would, will, or are engaging in careful and thoughtful masculine parenting of our children which all the literature shows is overwhelmingly important to outcomes. The likelihood that you end up with some hypothetical nightmare menace of a child who only understands a strap is really negligible, but the likelihood that playing a positive and active role in your child's life will have extraordinary positive impacts on their lives is near 100%, and the statistics don't lie, being that kind of father will prevent your kids from getting a bad end more than almost anything else you can do.
(DIR) Post #AbNrpGB38ZFV0XOMs4 by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T03:51:57Z
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@sj_zero Well I would say that its not just that we are having this conversation, because a parent who beats their kid might also engage in a simiilar conversation, partly so they can lie to themselves (not that they would know it)... I'd sayt her eason i can be comfortable we are all thoughtful parents in that regard is actually because, in additional to being here and talking we also dont beat our children.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @realcaseyrollins
(DIR) Post #AbNrsikZMOogUfekwi by sj_zero@social.fbxl.net
2023-11-02T03:52:37.271921Z
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Touche
(DIR) Post #AbNs6l1fhBR3beLhOC by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T03:55:08.111105Z
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@sj_zero @freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist How many of us here actually have kids tho, let’s be real
(DIR) Post #AbNtQtO4PyvhHfzUFU by meowski@fluf.club
2023-11-02T04:09:58.405826Z
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@realcaseyrollins @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @freemo the threat of violence for bad behavior is always there. if not from parents, then from the state. disciplining children and preventing them from having bad behavior is a responsibility and measured physical discipline is not abuseparents need to do it or the police, the prisons, the psychiatrists etc will do it for them
(DIR) Post #AbNxLNGQp7l81a2faK by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T04:53:47Z
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@realcaseyrollins I do not.. though im not sure having a kid makes you any more qualified.. .maybe after the fact if you have well adjusted successful kids.. but just having kids alone, not so much.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbNxRGd4P9kDBURP2u by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T04:54:53.325261Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero Fair enough.I do plan on having a family and kids someday so it’s not like I’m shooting the breeze about pure hypotheticals I never plan on acting on. This is something I’ve thought about for years.
(DIR) Post #AbNxUr55Km3v6fFuXA by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T04:55:30Z
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@realcaseyrollins Yea me and my girlfriend talk about kids... so it may be in my near future (next few years)@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbOCBEeRUOmtjGtdOi by niclas@angrytoday.com
2023-11-02T07:40:02Z
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@freemo I think you have the right motivation and insight to have a successful child-rearing period of life. Good Luck. It starts out really bad, and then gets worse for 18 years ;-) jkA lot of people who "discipline" their children do so on the basis of "it was good for me", having memories of doing bad stuff as a child and gotten spanked by dad. Not remembering why he/she was "doing bad" in the first place (sub-optimal parents).@realcaseyrollins @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbOCkVT2xW9K1FNulc by niclas@angrytoday.com
2023-11-02T07:46:25Z
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@freemo To me, it was simple; My parents never laid their hands on me. Instead was incredibly patient and explaining "why" and quite often letting me find out the hard way (such as hurting myself) and getting the reinforced "I told you so", starting way before I remember.I had to convince my wife that violence is not going to happen. (Although it did... by TEACHERS!! Until I found out!)He is 19 now, hates school/teachers and got his first job.@realcaseyrollins @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbOmwpBB5rA8ylCRV2 by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T14:32:01Z
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@niclas Its so surprising, who would think that having people beat you might cause you to have issues... Like at some point someone went "Oh the kid has learning troubles, have you tried beating him a bunch until the learning problems go away"?I cant fathom how anyone can be rational and compassionate and think beating a child or anyone is going to result in a positive change.@realcaseyrollins @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbOod0kyXUcd0CcjWy by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T14:50:51.106493Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero Your language here presumes us all to believe that spanking someone is the same as beating them, which nobody else here believes.That’d be like me going around saying “women think they should kill their babies if keeping them around is inconvenience” while having a conversation about abortion. While I do equate abortion to murder, 1) not everyone does so it’s not helpful for the conversation and 2) the vast majority of people engaging in abortion don’t believe that it’s murder.I hope that analogy makes sense.
(DIR) Post #AbOpYAsHasFYt9Ibx2 by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T15:01:07Z
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@realcaseyrollins > Your language here presumes us all to believe that spanking someone is the same as beating them, which nobody else here believes.Beating is defined as "a punishment or assault in which the victim is hit repeatedly."Spanking is defined as "an act of slapping, especially on the buttocks as a punishment for children."Its is very clear from the definitions a spanking is a form of beating in which the beating typically occurs on the buttox. What you probably mean to say is "A violent aggressive beating is far worse than a less violent and less aggressive beating on the butt"So on that we agree, less violence is better... its still deplorable and disgusting. If you are inflicting pain on a child and expected physical pain inflicted intentionally by a loved one is anything less than reprehensible then we are at odds.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbOpxDqteyuHMZavtw by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T15:05:43.702637Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero Its is very clear from the definitions a spanking is a form of beating in which the beating typically occurs on the buttox. I could say the same about the “what is a woman” question, but some of y’all wouldn’t like that 😂 what matters most is the colloquially understood meanings, rather than what you might find in a dictionary.
(DIR) Post #AbOqJtFcQAVa86y0zw by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T15:09:46Z
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@realcaseyrollins Dictionary definition of a woman: "an adult female human being."The relevant definitions for female:"having a gender identity that is the opposite of male""having a quality (such as small size or delicacy of sound) sometimes associated with the female sex"The gender definitions for woman seem to work against your implied take quite well actually.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbOqhePTFecV3DuBMG by realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world
2023-11-02T15:14:06.096725Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero The gender definitions for woman seem to work against your implied take quite well actually.Nope. I can say into the ether that men shouldn’t be in womens’ bathrooms, that’s my opinion. But if I’m having a discussion with someone who thinks that men and women can go back and forth between those states, it would be stupid for me to use language that’s incongruent with the language that the other participants in the conversation understand.
(DIR) Post #AbOr95BRob6huJQV9s by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-02T15:19:02Z
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@realcaseyrollins The gender definitions for woman seem to work against your implied take quite well actually.Nope. I can say into the ether that men shouldn’t be in womens’ bathrooms, that’s my opinion.Sure, well according to the english language they arent. Those people you are calling men are women according to the dictionary.What I think you mean to say is “Access to bathrooms should be divided by sex, not gender”… which is fine, by highly oppressive to people who have DNA that differs from their genitals (some of whom are born that way and many of whom dont even know). it would be stupid for me to use language that’s incongruent with the language that the other participants in the conversation understand.Thats why we have dictionaries. We all agree we are going to use english,a nd the dictionaries are our common agreement. Your the one who has derailed the conversation by several messages to argue that your semantic use of the word, which disagrees with the dictionary should be the one we all use. This didnt help the conversation at all because me by strictly using the english terms could be understood without all of these mental gymanistics to form a euphemism so people feel less bad about people they care about who beat children. We all gotta justify it somethow I guess.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero
(DIR) Post #AbOwzw2n1gVOgDOkWu by lonelyowl@freespeechextremist.com
2023-11-02T16:24:40.576745Z
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@freemo @realcaseyrollins @niclas @AmpBenzScientist @sj_zero Lol how the discussion about beating kids is bad could turn into trans debates :thinking:
(DIR) Post #AbTwfEnT50Y4YAA67c by WoodSharpening@kolektiva.social
2023-11-05T02:14:27Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist do you think she is beating her child less for having lost your friendship?
(DIR) Post #AbTwx20jMBXa6hqlQe by WoodSharpening@kolektiva.social
2023-11-05T02:17:39Z
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@freemo @niclas @AmpBenzScientist would you say she is "beating" her child less for having lost your friendship?
(DIR) Post #AbTx4smjXei9oK2xiy by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-05T02:19:04Z
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@WoodSharpening I cant say for sure, but one would hope. Regardless of if she did or not, I wouldnt have any desire to be friends with someone who abuses little children.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbU1iuMdUQkM6lBHMG by AmpBenzScientist@qoto.org
2023-11-05T03:11:09Z
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@lonelyowl @niclas @freemo @sj_zero @realcaseyrollins Idk but anabolic steroids should help with the feelings of inadequacy.
(DIR) Post #AbUkWLw8A0xZnNAdfs by WoodSharpening@kolektiva.social
2023-11-05T11:33:04Z
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@freemo i pretty much feel like we live in a social environment that forces, or at least coerces us, into abusing children. we get abused in schools, in the home, we as children are abused in the legal system. the second class citizen status of children (adult supremacy) works hand in hand with the patriarchy, and serves to further alienate ourselves from our bodies, our families, our communities. i would hope that if a friend found me abusing my own children, they would have the grace and generosity to get down to my level, and attempt to help me walk to a place of peace and equality with my own children, rather than shun me for my ignorance and shortcomings. @niclas @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbV0UqrtmhusPqUtYu by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-05T14:32:05Z
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@WoodSharpening I didnt shun them They shunned me for calling them out on it and siding with those judging her. I just have no regrets over the shunning.@niclas @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbV1UlbJT8iS27GMCG by WoodSharpening@kolektiva.social
2023-11-05T14:43:17Z
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@freemofair enough.. @niclas @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbV1ka620haQzBAj8S by freemo@qoto.org
2023-11-05T14:46:08Z
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@WoodSharpening And nto be fair while i was harsh and direct, I was also kind about it... I think basically she was furious she just beat her kids in public at a resteraunt and how several people called her out in public, she felt awful.I responded with something fairly straight forward but respectful like 'Yea, I would have called out someone doing that too. Hitting your child is never acceptable and I am glad people didnt just accept a child being abused and say nothing" and I know I said "I would have done the same if I saw a small child being hit in public, for any reason"@niclas @AmpBenzScientist
(DIR) Post #AbaOlMWrCy41vurQNE by AmpBenzScientist@qoto.org
2023-11-08T04:57:34Z
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@freemo @WoodSharpening @niclas Normally that would get someone kicked out of a church. Child abuse is a proud tradition in religions.