Post AYKeeZH8OFGA6LXWlM by JaneImber@mstdn.social
(DIR) More posts by JaneImber@mstdn.social
(DIR) Post #AYKLelAAII6NqCeqcy by lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social
2023-08-02T17:30:58Z
3 likes, 5 repeats
July was the hottest month on record. So here's some tips on how to stay safe in the heat:-Do not look directly at the sun. The sun interprets this as a challenge, and will become hotter to assert dominance.-Cover your body in slugs. Each slug will lower your body temperature by a third of a degree.-Crawl around on all fours instead of walking. Heat rises, so you want to stay as low as possible.-Remove the various tubs of ice cream from your freezer to make room for yourself.
(DIR) Post #AYKMPReidg6ex1D72W by michelestrider@mastodon.social
2023-08-02T17:38:23Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts I did look at my deep freezer the other day and think "reverse hot tub." I feel seen. Thank you.
(DIR) Post #AYKMVB4BEMPLEmqxVo by fmhilton@mastodon.sdf.org
2023-08-02T17:39:32Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Do I have to eat all the tubs of the ice cream before making room for me?I am pretty small, I bet I could fit in between them..
(DIR) Post #AYKNbKkoE1vayUIA2C by JVNardulli@mastodon.social
2023-08-02T17:51:59Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts This seems legit 👍
(DIR) Post #AYKNjdHtCZnalvipxQ by Kirino@seal.cafe
2023-08-02T17:54:24.051491Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Then how will I make my :choccu: milkshakes?
(DIR) Post #AYKOHvyGFAvMYzthAG by urbautz@wehavecookies.social
2023-08-02T18:00:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Need advice asap. The slugs on my body froze over while i crawled into the freezer.
(DIR) Post #AYKPEXKtTmh3FFQZKS by Jiriki@wandering.shop
2023-08-02T18:11:02Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Already on it😌
(DIR) Post #AYKPswsVvv0u2vQI0u by Kyote@stranger.social
2023-08-02T18:18:17Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts 😂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 top notch tips😆
(DIR) Post #AYKRP6IuWXN6V5fI2K by MaJ1@mastodonapp.uk
2023-08-02T18:34:55Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts @FiStitchWitch glue cpu heat sinks to your arms and legs, be careful to ensure they point outwards to avoid chafing!
(DIR) Post #AYKRZvw7PWQlX0AZo8 by KikoKate@chaosfem.tw
2023-08-02T18:37:01Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts 😵💫😱🙀😳
(DIR) Post #AYKS5Z1a8Ezbjoo84u by cturnbow@mastodon.world
2023-08-02T18:42:53Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Those facts are higher quality than usual
(DIR) Post #AYKSNdqKxH4ntZATgW by Hiker_Scott@mstdn.ca
2023-08-02T18:46:15Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Post rejected. Some of these are, in fact, high quality facts. Please rewrite and resubmit.
(DIR) Post #AYKSsVbHeSIhJ8qTx2 by laukanhenkka@mastodonsuomi.fi
2023-08-02T18:51:37Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Did you know that the sun is actually just a myth fabricated by a brittish tabloid whose sole purpose is to sell more doomsday magazines? I have not looked at the sky to confirm this but it must be true since I just made that up and I'm apretty credible source for myself.
(DIR) Post #AYKW0pze0yUujau3bU by AcesAreWild@mastodon.social
2023-08-02T19:26:02Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Fake News! Everybody knows that it actually is leeches that lower your body temperature! This is because the leeches suck the blood from you and fewer red blood cells carrying less oxygenated blood through your body would make you colder! Don't listen to the Major Left-wing media about this, because they are all just shills for Big Slug! #conspiracy #stayinformed
(DIR) Post #AYKXDs0tuldiidGkQC by dcrooks@mastodon.scot
2023-08-02T19:40:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts @lisamelton To emphasise point 1, you may need to chant at the sun “You are the sun? You are the sun? I AM THE ONE WHO SHINES”Accidentally starts a self-help movement.
(DIR) Post #AYKXHx4X35s9Z9uihs by Roundcat@mastodon.social
2023-08-02T19:40:52Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Instructions unclear. Trapped in the freezer. HELP!
(DIR) Post #AYKcV5CicoH0K3p8sq by kinyutaka@mstdn.social
2023-08-02T20:39:46Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Fun fact, your local Denny's has a walk in freezer that is usually unoccupied.
(DIR) Post #AYKeeZH8OFGA6LXWlM by JaneImber@mstdn.social
2023-08-02T21:03:53Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Note to self: Prepare for apocalypse by purchasing multiple tubs of ice cream.
(DIR) Post #AYKhJXJwlIo9ovWC9I by TylerIsI@mastodon.social
2023-08-02T21:33:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts pls help i have been attacked by 1675 slugs and now my body temp is below absolute zero!
(DIR) Post #AYKhY7e4VM2yX7t21Y by BlippyTheWonderSlug@social.cologne
2023-08-02T21:36:20Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
☝️ Ladies, please take note of point two! 🤣@lowqualityfacts
(DIR) Post #AYKhwOp6I076l9caf2 by ReverendMoose@mas.to
2023-08-02T21:40:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts I'll ice grill the Sun if I want, they know what they did.
(DIR) Post #AYKiWKNUIJrfOhpzwe by mousey@mastodon.seattlematrix.org
2023-08-02T21:47:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Instructions unclear, now i have tubs of frozen slugs, and i'm covered in ice cream..
(DIR) Post #AYKmehrBHf9CLiyeVU by astrablaster@c.im
2023-08-02T22:33:32Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts We have a cold summer this year.
(DIR) Post #AYKnpTTnB7OEtmjgTQ by Dr_Tranny@universeodon.com
2023-08-02T22:46:43Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts I dunno, covering his body in slugs didn't exactly work out all that great for Leto II. I mean, sure, he became God Emperor and ruled for centuries, but at what cost? I'll just stick to wrapping my head in a wet towel covered in ice cubes.
(DIR) Post #AYL3FAEGs74Q2KBS9w by BmeBenji@mstdn.social
2023-08-03T01:39:24Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts I will let myself burn up in the sun before I let my supply of ice cream melt, but thanks for the tips! Super helpful!
(DIR) Post #AYLEQ3mKIKnUi9Vjwe by astroPug@hachyderm.io
2023-08-03T03:44:34Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts You may eat some of those ice cream tubs in order to make space. That way, you have space and you are some ice cream, which are both good things. It is quite possible that you won’t be able to eat all the ice cream you need to displace to make room for yourself. In that event, think of some recipes that require warm, or, preferably, cooked ice cream, so you can boil away those pesky micro-organisms. 1
(DIR) Post #AYLIyQ2aQjYxQ1kujQ by SocialJusticeHeals@mastodon.social
2023-08-03T04:35:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfactsThis is high quality advice.@crlamke
(DIR) Post #AZHAUd6nEJKEilAMvw by tin@fosstodon.org
2023-08-31T02:33:56Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Can we eat the ice cream as we remove it?
(DIR) Post #AZHE5UKh7XGU52w4Nk by benda@kolektiva.social
2023-08-31T03:14:12Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts these are actually maybe some your most high quality facts. hug Ruby and Fishy for me.
(DIR) Post #AZHIvaFikue7Jbhon2 by pootie@mastodon.online
2023-08-31T04:08:25Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts thank you for your service