Post AWZ1HA0ELCHCn2dSLo by phillycodehound@masto.ai
(DIR) More posts by phillycodehound@masto.ai
(DIR) Post #AWSGxjiw3lMEwfaPaq by lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social
2023-06-07T17:31:57Z
1 likes, 2 repeats
Me: I am in no way religious.*crocodile gives virgin birth*Me: I will destroy all nonbelievers who fail to recognize Crocodile Jesus as our one true lord and savior.
(DIR) Post #AWSHE8FKeYxfdMYd96 by nathanlovestrees@disabled.social
2023-06-07T17:34:54Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts I heard that Jesus's last words were, "see you later alligator"
(DIR) Post #AWSJwl1g23DUYbZqsa by michaelgemar@mstdn.ca
2023-06-07T18:05:08Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts @donmelton Your ownCrocodile JesusReach out and touch snout
(DIR) Post #AWSK216Zg6pzsCNMm0 by RevDrPoopDaddy@kolektiva.social
2023-06-07T18:06:19Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts it was always prophesied that he’d return, just never stated as what. 🤷🏽
(DIR) Post #AWSKRPADMizbjIBUyO by BryanLastRedDrop@toot.community
2023-06-07T18:10:55Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts silly scientists...
(DIR) Post #AWSKjMt2ZPArsciVrk by donAlvar@col.social
2023-06-07T18:14:07Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts
(DIR) Post #AWSLMZHsOmu7dL1ewi by TexasCre8ive@mindly.social
2023-06-07T18:21:12Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts I now acknowledge "Crocmas" as a religious holiday.
(DIR) Post #AWSLbyhmB848oDUKP2 by energiepirat@mastodon.social
2023-06-07T18:24:01Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts He loves us at the first bite....
(DIR) Post #AWSLdoH7vYUB2Ztegy by lemonflavoured@mastodon.social
2023-06-07T18:24:23Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Life, uh, finds a way.
(DIR) Post #AWSN5yKGFkTOH4M5fE by connersjackson@climatejustice.social
2023-06-07T18:40:38Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfactsAh, yes, because it must have been Crocodile God that put Crocodile Jesus inside Crocodile Mary.Crocodile Undiscovered Biological Process is vile blasphemy. We must bow down to our sharp-toothed messiah.
(DIR) Post #AWSOHjxNbPxd8epP1s by kennergf@mas.to
2023-06-07T18:54:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts thank God the crocodile was female
(DIR) Post #AWSPsiYlrJm3TVVuCW by dragonfyre24@mastodon.social
2023-06-07T19:11:52Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts all hail
(DIR) Post #AWSRIJFkfgZ8TFNu4G by roo_44@mas.to
2023-06-07T19:27:41Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts 🎶 🎵 🎶 🎵 🎶 🎵 🎶 🎵 Your own Crocodile JesusSomeone to hear your prayers Someone who cares Your own Cricodile Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who's there🎶 🎵 🎶 🎵 🎶 🎵 🎶 🎵
(DIR) Post #AWSUWZrzzEWtvKllSK by APBBlue@zirk.us
2023-06-07T20:03:54Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts I mean, technically, wouldn't it be Crocodile Mary?
(DIR) Post #AWSVQnwophhnnlppwm by IAmDannyBoling@mstdn.social
2023-06-07T20:14:04Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Who knew the Holy Ghost could take the form of a crocodile? 🤣
(DIR) Post #AWSVYwdSPrHR3xf0Nc by bonkers@nerdculture.de
2023-06-07T20:15:31Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts so, it wasn't a rumor about reptiloids ruling the Earth
(DIR) Post #AWSYM0yjFzsEdA8VEW by saegor@kolektiva.social
2023-06-07T20:46:48Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts alliluia !
(DIR) Post #AWSZ6iE4nPJC56a8a8 by JStatePost@newsie.social
2023-06-07T20:55:13Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts 🥥 Jesus Crocodile died for your handbag and a lovely pair of shoes. 🥥
(DIR) Post #AWSbgcpmWIC7gyTElE by djdesign@mastodon.social
2023-06-07T21:24:09Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts I mean it sounds like Crocodile Mary is the real miracle worker here.
(DIR) Post #AWSgokswyANukXeH4q by _thegeoff@mastodon.social
2023-06-07T22:21:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Tim Minchin has, reasonably respectfully by Sunday School standards, asked that question. And frankly, I like a song that ryhmes "parthenogenesis" with something.
(DIR) Post #AWSudsDEml45eCqL1E by DamonWakes@mastodon.sdf.org
2023-06-08T00:56:33Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts Thank you for sharing the good news about Crocodile Jesus.
(DIR) Post #AWZ1HA0ELCHCn2dSLo by phillycodehound@masto.ai
2023-06-10T23:39:08Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts How the AF do they know she didn't bang when they weren't watching? LOL
(DIR) Post #AXGrrYuEQ7qjZbPKka by humansriseup@ioc.exchange
2023-07-02T03:20:58Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts It was Ra!
(DIR) Post #AXGuoKXhfN6a1I1Lua by cyortonic@mastodon.social
2023-07-02T03:53:47Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts First we got shark Jesus now we have crocodile Jesus? His return is going super epicly
(DIR) Post #AXGxmLhmflCGuPU05g by stoopidJason@mastodon.social
2023-07-02T04:27:07Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts
(DIR) Post #AXH9Pf7xUhZNw2fsDg by mattstanhope17@ohai.social
2023-07-02T06:37:36Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@lowqualityfacts All hail bad ass Jesus