Post AW45AGvF47tRFjbUpc by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
(DIR) More posts by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
(DIR) Post #AW43vgBKljzbIPbn5U by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:12:52Z
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On today's episode of "Do I Really Have to Blow Up the Neighbours' House in Self-Defense, or Am I Just Paranoid?" - they said something to each other in a tone that sounded kind of off, but I couldn't make out what it was. I have also been hearing people(who are around) talking, at times they have not been saying anything; and, hearing voices of people who are not here, or potentially don't exist. My sleep has been subpar for the last week, and I've gotten fewer hours of it, each night
(DIR) Post #AW44EUIPBWSvvzstzU by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:16:15Z
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Also, I've been experiencing stress, related to events, which is disproportionate to the amount of stress I generally experience as a result of those events.Is there a global conspiracy of essentially infinite relational complexity, which has some how escaped public view - or, is my brain acting a little whacky, as it oftentimes does. The little bit of sleep silliness combined with the elevated stress points to brain whackies as does the absurdity of the necessary conspiracy
(DIR) Post #AW44VWNufiKPKsaDBY by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:19:20Z
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So, it seems more likely that my brain is being a silly boi - but, if I'm wrong, and they're trying to kill me.... Then, what? Honestly, it'd kind of be a relief to get it over with, already - but, I've got a few people who love me, dogs who are dependent on me, and I don't want to die, most of the time, these days. Also, I feel like getting murdered would likely involve a death of the not non-painful variety, and, like, that would probably suck
(DIR) Post #AW44kt4Mc3wk2DlYWW by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:22:07Z
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But, also, blowing up a house full of people seems like the sort of thing that I'd come to regret, even if I was justified. So... I think, for the time being, I'm going to assume my brain is just being a little silly. I'm going to try to weather the mental storm. I'm going to do breathing exercises, meditation, cold water on face, etc, and try to get to bed early. I see my doctor tomorrow, so I can bring it up with him. I think if I get an urge to act, I'm going to head to emerg, instead
(DIR) Post #AW44uw749THeN0p0jI by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T01:23:55Z
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@fcktheworld587 I think maybe you should get a good 8 hours of sleep before you take any major actions
(DIR) Post #AW451hfGGkbDaP2jhY by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:25:07Z
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@Fullnihilism I think that's probably a good piece of advice. Thank you!
(DIR) Post #AW4579drg2JdnwzOS0 by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T01:26:07Z
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@fcktheworld587 are you experiencing mania, you think? Is that maybe why you can't sleep? Perhaps ER would be a good call now, so you can get something to help you sleep?
(DIR) Post #AW45AGvF47tRFjbUpc by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T01:26:42Z
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@fcktheworld587 take care of yourself 💜💜💜
(DIR) Post #AW45DNs3gf1XfkbBAG by GatekeepKen@mastodon.online
2023-05-27T01:27:15Z
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@fcktheworld587 Mental health is dependent on gut health. Same with your immune system... all control is by microbes in you tum tum.Eat salads not pizza.
(DIR) Post #AW45HyvRrQ4rknNPW4 by Dragon@mstdn.ca
2023-05-27T01:28:04Z
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@fcktheworld587 I'd like to suggest,if I may, that you don't 'blow up your neighbors house' or really anything about this, like that. I find when I get wound up a bit of time in nature helps.Siddhartha or some such about being near water and nature gives me some peace. Helps me rebalance.Not sure if that's your thing, but whatever version of this you have; nows a good time for it
(DIR) Post #AW45TCbJMBWLLtJ9l2 by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:30:07Z
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@Fullnihilism I'm kind of wondering if that might be the case. I experience visual and auditory disturbances frequently, but they've become a little more pronounced, lately - particularly today. It feels like I could be experiencing some elevated affect - but I'm, historically, a super poor judge of that, in myself. Idunno if it's just some regular sleep deprivation psychosis symptoms, or if I'm moving into a manic phase. I really hope it's just a bit of psychosis symptoms
(DIR) Post #AW45bN2mPi9K3c3Ep6 by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:31:36Z
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@GatekeepKen I'm pescatarian, mostly, with red/white meat only a couple times a month, generally. My diet has been pretty decent, lately, as far as I can tell. If anything, I've been eating less take out than usual, lately
(DIR) Post #AW45qBBim8lFdBILD6 by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T01:34:15Z
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@fcktheworld587 it sounds like you've been under stress and lack of sleep which certainly wouldn't make it any easier to know. While you're able to, I really hope you'll go see someone just to see what might be going on and if they can help. It really doesn't sound enjoyable to not be able to sleep or feel like you're threatened. And at least you'll be able to get out of the house where you feel unsafe. I really really hope you will and keep us posted ok?
(DIR) Post #AW46187cW1vlJ5b9aS by foolisholivia@chaosfem.tw
2023-05-27T01:36:13Z
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@fcktheworld587 i think this is a good call. i deal with fits of paranoia myself and it is pretty much never as bad as it seems in the moment. there are bad things in the world, but the vast, vast majority of people aren’t psychos. a grounding technique i like to do is naming some things i know is 100% know fact, such as the sky is blue, the sun is yellow, there is grass outside, there are stars in the sky. things that can remind me and bring me back towards objective reality
(DIR) Post #AW46R4fZyQXY83qylU by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:40:57Z
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@Fullnihilism I appreciate your concern. I messaged my partner, because I don't think she's trying to kill me, and she says emerg might be a good idea. My heart is racing right now. I think I'm going to try to stay here for now, though, because I really don't want to go to the hospital. I hate spending time there, and if I can manage to stay out, I would prefer to do so. As of right now, I'm pretty sure as long as nobody comes at me sideways, I won't get violent
(DIR) Post #AW46TCGIiUkgFt2egq by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:41:20Z
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@Fullnihilism so I think isolation, at home, and sleep, is the game plan for right now
(DIR) Post #AW46YYnmLCndbrG4xs by foolisholivia@chaosfem.tw
2023-05-27T01:37:35Z
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@fcktheworld587 i wish the best for you and hope that this situation gets sorted in a peaceful way. 💕💕💕
(DIR) Post #AW46YZTFqzybgUfCc4 by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:42:16Z
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@foolisholivia thank you! Grounding exercises is a good idea, thank you!
(DIR) Post #AW471NkiV99djqZMn2 by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T01:47:29Z
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@fcktheworld587 is there something you can do rn that makes you feel peaceful? Like cuddle a dog or listen to some calm music? Or play a video game? I know the hospitals suck and you said you have the doctor tomorrow so you can just maybe get thru tonight. I'm so sorry you're not feeling well but I'm glad to hear your partner is supporting you and available. It's not late here (645pm) so if it feels better to keep in contact I'm up for that! If not, also cool. I will check in on your feed tomorrow tho and thinking about you
(DIR) Post #AW478tzN2tlVkF0eKO by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T01:48:51Z
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@fcktheworld587 ok im gonna check in with you tomorrow if that's OK, please take care
(DIR) Post #AW47J9ihPeKVQi6Jdo by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:50:43Z
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@Fullnihilism thank you for your support! I'm currently cuddling a puppo and practising box breathing, in between doing some perceptual grounding exercises
(DIR) Post #AW47LzkCxU73MMA0Qa by foolisholivia@chaosfem.tw
2023-05-27T01:51:13Z
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@fcktheworld587 you’re welcome! 🥰💕 i hope they’re able to help!
(DIR) Post #AW47QVd8LipDPV0JH6 by communalsauce@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T01:52:01Z
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@fcktheworld587 personally, i think you're describing a paranoid thought process. i hope you feel better and can get some sleep soon!
(DIR) Post #AW47Rlb2TNUnDacjq4 by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T01:52:16Z
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@fcktheworld587 nice! Dogs are the best.
(DIR) Post #AW47f5GMfFkjyfItI8 by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:54:40Z
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@communalsauce thank you for your perspective. I also think this seems likely. I feel like things are a little spooky right now, but I think it's just paranoia. I really appreciate your input, as outside perspective is something I cannot provide, myself
(DIR) Post #AW47jKOGMZLC3K1PcG by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T01:55:27Z
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@Fullnihilism they really are! Humans don't deserve dogs. They are so wonderful
(DIR) Post #AW48AQDinN8Rx80iQa by communalsauce@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T02:00:17Z
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@fcktheworld587 No worries, I get it. Sometimes we all gotta ask the people in our phone "hey, is this normal?" 😅
(DIR) Post #AW48HvccRYLVN0EfIG by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T02:01:33Z
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@fcktheworld587 that's why I have 4 lol they help my anxiety so much here's some pics of them (CW, it's Natty, Birch, Cedar and Aspen)
(DIR) Post #AW48bhGLXYzucxFBmy by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T02:05:16Z
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@Fullnihilism they're so cute!
(DIR) Post #AW4D151AkuFlMKVPO4 by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T02:54:41Z
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@Fullnihilism my partner has arrived, and I'm much more calm. Still not trusting my senses, hearing things I think - but calmer, now
(DIR) Post #AW4D9kN2tHpFvfrxXE by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T02:56:13Z
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@fcktheworld587 I'm so glad to hear you aren't alone
(DIR) Post #AW4DSJh2Ikiigz4fzc by fcktheworld587@social.linux.pizza
2023-05-27T02:59:36Z
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@Fullnihilism thank you so much for all of your support today!
(DIR) Post #AW4DVYiOuGF69QG6We by Fullnihilism@kolektiva.social
2023-05-27T03:00:09Z
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@fcktheworld587 of course! Anytime!
(DIR) Post #AW4wtJP9yeltYPxYBM by GatekeepKen@mastodon.online
2023-05-27T11:28:42Z
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@fcktheworld587 Good, I'm pescatarian all the way and the sea offers better choices. Red meat and chicken have toxins. Take out is usually loaded with MSG to keep you coming back. Pork is not designed for the human gut. It is really bad. Look into Moringa or Spiralina to put in smoothies...Water also highly important, without Chlorine!