Post AVkMs0ZhHeSyQRRQ00 by codebam@mstdn.social
(DIR) More posts by codebam@mstdn.social
(DIR) Post #AVkGKoRalUvjWORDYe by codebam@mstdn.social
2023-05-17T11:57:38Z
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https://filesb.in/IMG_0348.jpeghttps://filesb.in/IMG_0349.jpeg
(DIR) Post #AVkLveYB0pUvK0u7KC by shellkr@masto.ai
2023-05-17T13:00:11Z
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@codebam That is rough.. how do you feel about yourself today? Do you feel okay? I don't know a lot about you or what happened... but to me it sounds like your family cares about you and want to help. If not they wouldn't try to come by to visit.
(DIR) Post #AVkM4ou7syYE2ZXfOa by codebam@mstdn.social
2023-05-17T13:01:59Z
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@shellkr nah they refused to visit when I called so they probably don’t care all that much. they already know I’m seeking maid when it’s involuntary status so maybe they want to kill me who knows?
(DIR) Post #AVkM7cd7yeLEqEvY3c by codebam@mstdn.social
2023-05-17T13:02:29Z
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@shellkr not like I care. I’m not going to live like that
(DIR) Post #AVkMk9kVI2kAYvkfjM by shellkr@masto.ai
2023-05-17T13:09:25Z
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@codebam What does 'seeking maid' mean? I am not from the US.You wrote that they've shown up uninvited many times... that was what I meant. Why did they refuse when you called? That sounds strange.. did they give a reason?
(DIR) Post #AVkMs0ZhHeSyQRRQ00 by codebam@mstdn.social
2023-05-17T13:10:52Z
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@shellkr medical assistance in dying. no reason aside from that they were already on their way home. they live an hour and a half away
(DIR) Post #AVkOEZ6ZgJTBqP8h16 by shellkr@masto.ai
2023-05-17T13:26:08Z
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@codebam That is dark.. I get that you are broken. Most would with what you have experienced. I have seen people come up from very dark places (drug addiction, psychiatric unhealth) and have good lives now. It can take many many years though.
(DIR) Post #AVkQC7sg83hwjtbWFs by shellkr@masto.ai
2023-05-17T13:48:04Z
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@codebam I am sorry if this sounds judgemental.. but I have a feeling that you may possibly suffer from a depression. It is a really though and dangerous condition but one can seek help. It is beatable.
(DIR) Post #AVkSMJzQAChR68kNs0 by codebam@mstdn.social
2023-05-17T14:12:22Z
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@shellkr yeah I know. I don’t have a future though
(DIR) Post #AVkSqb0NStkGYed9SC by shellkr@masto.ai
2023-05-17T14:17:49Z
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@codebam Why do you feel that? To me you look young and smart. I don't see why you wouldn't make it eventually.
(DIR) Post #AVkTcz4LIbSr5hYg8e by codebam@mstdn.social
2023-05-17T14:26:36Z
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@shellkr when is eventually? my current situation is to be put on meds that prevent me from thinking. probably because I ran out of money. I’d rather die I than be forced to live like this
(DIR) Post #AVkUxA5w7D6D24UOUC by shellkr@masto.ai
2023-05-17T14:41:25Z
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@codebam I get why medication might feel difficult. I can only say that I know of people in your situation which were helped by medication. Without it they would not have normal lives today. It can take years to find the right combo though.. Some are lucky and it goes faster. It is also important to start as soon as possible because it might not be as easy later.
(DIR) Post #AVkVOLrMTvETL6dYqO by codebam@mstdn.social
2023-05-17T14:46:22Z
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@shellkr tried different meds from oct 2020 to dec 2021 even when I knew I probably didn’t need them, and it was someone else’s problem. don’t assume I haven’t triedall anyone wants to do anymore is lie about my conditions, previous treatment, and previous and current diagnosisI’d rather not live with all these lies told to me. with people around me who harass me, and being unable to do anything about it all the time
(DIR) Post #AVkWgTOPJRyDrxIaRc by shellkr@masto.ai
2023-05-17T15:00:32Z
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@codebam It can take much longer than so.. and I don't assume anything.. I just hope you can find a path through it all and medication might be one that helps you with it. The one who wins if it succeeds is you.My day has not been too great either... a relative was just informed she had terminal cancer...
(DIR) Post #AVkWppu0zVsaHwY1Ee by codebam@mstdn.social
2023-05-17T15:02:29Z
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@shellkr I’ve been on this medication before. not feeling enough to know I’m hurting definitely isn’t winning for mesorry to hear that
(DIR) Post #AVkX2UAn5l8af0QUEK by shellkr@masto.ai
2023-05-17T15:04:47Z
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@codebam Yeah, sometimes life is just shit...