Post AUkKBJOwXT9Mle0Bwe by Wemmy@kiwifarms.cc
(DIR) More posts by Wemmy@kiwifarms.cc
(DIR) Post #AUkJdpQaxSwsFaoCIa by NiggaCat@kiwifarms.cc
2023-04-17T14:42:15.726687Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
mlem
(DIR) Post #AUkKBJOwXT9Mle0Bwe by Wemmy@kiwifarms.cc
2023-04-17T14:48:33.374792Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@NiggaCat worlds best kitty cat
(DIR) Post #AUkKJVgYkb5PBO9Qvo by MrFuzzland@kiwifarms.cc
2023-04-17T14:48:19.406199Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@NiggaCat that's a nice kitty face right there :blobcatpeek:
(DIR) Post #AUkKJWWfcqlnn0X39k by NiggaCat@kiwifarms.cc
2023-04-17T14:50:02.165375Z
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@MrFuzzland I STOLE THIS CAT FROM WEMMY :blobcatburglar:
(DIR) Post #AUkOLOsHRb8CSFn3fU by HOLOCAUST@kiwifarms.cc
2023-04-17T15:35:14.087550Z
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@NiggaCat @MrFuzzland I am turning to dust, little by little, every day. Not because I lost my cat, but because I am the cause of his loss. I took in a stray. Or it is more accurate to say, she chose to live with me and I gladly accepted her. But I didn't know that she was pregnant. That was okay. So after a while she gave birth to 3. Two died within 10 days leaving one lone kitten. I noticed that he was often crying while feeling around for his lost siblings because as you know, kittens always sleep together, on top of each other, getting that touch they need, and also warmth, while forming bonds at the same time. So anytime his mother was not feeding or attending to him, I would bring him up to me so that he would have the comfort of touch. We both grew to be very attached to each other.A year and a half passes and I was given notice to move because the owner of the house I was a tenant in passed away and her kids inherited it, then sold it. I had 4 months to move. I could not afford anything, literally. I had been living in the house by special arrangement to watch over it and I was to do this until the owner passed away but no one was expecting that for another 10 or 15 years.After a month of looking, I realized I was not going to be able to afford anything. My only option was to move into an extra room at a friends house. They said I could bring 1 cat only and that was pushing it because they had a newborn baby. For the next 3 months I looked for a home for the mom cat because I felt a stronger bond to the baby boy, even though he was no longer a kitten. I asked everyone I knew, and I asked them to ask anyone they knew, if they wanted a cat. I posted ads anywhere I could, fully aware of the dangers of letting strangers adopt a cat, especially near me because there are two universities that buy cats for lab experiments. But I couldn't find anyone that wanted the cat, everyone wants kittens and adult cats and even young cats are seen as second hand good for some reason.I then reached out to every rescue I could find for the county I was in and the neighboring county too. Only a few of them returned my call and they didn't have any available space; they all ran on foster services. I kept calling those that replied daily to see if there was a new opening until they stopped returning my call, probably tired of hearing from me. The only other option was the county shelters - they have a high 89% kill rate and I knew that they keep kittens for that small 12% that live long enough to get adopted. My cat would more than likely be killed, and within days of reception. There was just no way I could take my cat there knowing full well that that would mean the end of her.At this point I realized that I was nearly out of time and it was death at the shelter, or abandonment. It seems odd that abandonment is a crime, but having your pet killed at a 89% kill rate shelter is perfectly fine for the same county that will fine you for abandonment. I then started really thinking hard about this and knew that my boy would have a much better chance at survival than his mom. I even drew up a list to compare how each would do on their own and I knew that my boy had the best chance. So on moving day, I put my boy outside. I had several bowls of food, several bowls of water, and several boxes that I had put together for him, each with a towel that either had my scent or his moms scent on it thinking that at the very least, maybe he would have that tiny spec of a familiar smell. I cried hard.Yes I thought about having him be an outdoor cat at my friends house but they stuck to the rule about 1 cat only. I was already close enough to being on the streets myself so I didn't push it, they were already being kind enough to help me out and at least one cat. And deep down I knew it wouldn't work because he is a bit of a scaredy cat and I knew he would get spooked on day 1 and run off and get himself lost. At least he had a neighborhood where I left him, and was an indoor/outdoor cat there and he had some cat pals, some of which were already strays that I helped feed and water too.After moving, which was some distance away, I had to make one more trip to get some furniture items that was not able to get in the initial move day. So for the next 4 days I scrambled and treated the days like work days trying to find a home for the boy so that when I went back to get the last of my stuff, I could maybe get him too and take him to his new home. But I failed him.When I arrived to get the last of my stuff, right away I head out to the backyard and called him, he was right there still and I was relieved to see him and see that he looked good. But he cried a lot, and he ran up to me at full speed and was crying and pushing against me and purring the way cats do and I held him and fed him food, canned food, temptations, and kibble, I put tons of food out knowing full well the other cats would eat it too.
(DIR) Post #AUkOMUUu1WpsBRNLfc by HOLOCAUST@kiwifarms.cc
2023-04-17T15:35:25.649956Z
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@NiggaCat @MrFuzzland As he continued to cry I realized it seemed to be cries of happiness because he was purring too. And this is what really killed me, because here I was, days after leaving, he finally sees me again and thinks all will be well and like it was before, except that I still had to leave him so he would feel betrayed twice by the one he thought he could trust to take care of him for his whole life.I knew that the new house owners would be out fixing the place up so they can sell it so I reached out to them and begged them not to toss out the box shelters until the day they need to start showing the place to potential buyers. I guess one of the owners felt guilty about giving me the boot and me losing my cat so she actually went out and bought a cat dome and self feeders for both food and water so that at the very least, he would have something better than a cardboard box that I made and at least he would have food and water since the food dispenser holds 1 pound of kibble.That gave me some relief, well enough to be able to sleep because up to this point I had not been eating or sleeping very well and I accepted that as part of punishment for abandoning my poor boy. But then, with that bit of relief, I was now able to feel how much I miss him.He is still out there, a stray cat, that I love with all of my heart and that I have caused so much pain. I took away the safety of a home for him, I took away his food and water, I took myself away and I know that he loves me very much. And I even took his mother away from him so that he is entirely alone except for maybe a couple of cat friends he may see from time to time. I failed him in every way possible and I still cry every day, even knowing that he is getting food and water and shelter because that isn't enough like you said, cats feel grief too, they feel loss, he knows he's lost everything, and it's my fault. I took it away from him. It IS my fault, I'm the one that abandoned him and is causing him pain and loneliness.I don't know if he will be okay, I don't know if he is sad or lonely, I don't know if he is beat up by some mean feral cat. I don't know if he feels so betrayed that he will never trust humans again and spend his whole life running from them and living a hard life. I don't know if some terrible person doesn't like seeing him so they feed him poisoned food. I don't know if he gets hit by a car, or crippled by a car and then has to live with that. I don't know if gets attacked by a coyote. All I know is that at least it's not a guaranteed hollow and lonely death at a shelter and at least he has a chance.And the mom cat is as bonded to me as I am to the boy. Even now as I type this, I'm still crying and so she is on the desk trying to get to my face to give me affection, that I don't deserve. Does she sense my grief? She misses the boy too, right? I have caused her pain too. I even feel guilty just spending time with her, knowing that my boy is alone.There, I wrote it down. Step 1. Right? It's too long for anyone to read. But it doesn't matter, nor should it, I should not have comfort because I know that I am the cause of so much discomfort for my sweet boy. Why should I feel good about anything, when he is alone and has nothing. Yes I am turning to dust, but not from my loss, but the loss I caused my cat.
(DIR) Post #AUkPKGjwIou6tGugd6 by NiggaCat@kiwifarms.cc
2023-04-17T15:46:08.241169Z
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@HOLOCAUST @MrFuzzland
(DIR) Post #AUkREqOX1gD3dtROyW by Pike@kiwifarms.cc
2023-04-17T16:07:36.415085Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@HOLOCAUST @MrFuzzland @NiggaCat I stopped reading. That was actually upsetting.