Post AUSUnvBItLX4gquDbM by TJ@mastodon.bida.im
 (DIR) More posts by TJ@mastodon.bida.im
 (DIR) Post #AURujP2IrsbvUAF4BU by JaniceSelbie@mas.to
       2023-04-08T17:37:34Z
       
       0 likes, 1 repeats
       
       ADVICE TO NEW #atheists1. Mourn your losses of #identity community, & worldview2. Read “Leaving the Fold”3. Subscribe to https://youtube.com/@ComeToCORT4. Get a secular #therapist5. Beware the pull of #fundamentalism in any sphere6. Educate yourself about how #beliefs form (Hassan’s BITE Model)7. Learn about #codependency8. See that anger is both a part of the grieving process & an indication of boundary violation9. Build a supportive #secular network10. Be compassionate with yourself
       
 (DIR) Post #AUSUnvBItLX4gquDbM by TJ@mastodon.bida.im
       2023-04-08T22:28:24Z
       
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       @JaniceSelbie This is great advice!  Atheism is just a lack of belief in a god - but there's so much more than that, as it turns out, to becoming an atheist!I wish someone had shared this with me 20 years ago, when I became an atheist - it wouldn't have changed my rational, intellectual, choice one iota, but man is it hard to separate the real 'you' from the 'you' defined by the tensions between your rational independent self and the childhood/familial/communal psyche you broke from.At least, that's how it's been for me, coming from a religious household and community whose identity and worldview are inseparable from their religion. So atheism didn't just mean a break with God, it meant a break with my family, their lifestyle, their aspirations, their community, even their politics.1/
       
 (DIR) Post #AUSUnxO8gazJXEvUsy by TJ@mastodon.bida.im
       2023-04-08T22:29:18Z
       
       0 likes, 1 repeats
       
       @JaniceSelbie @JaniceSelbie  I think the easiest thing for an atheist is to fall into an identity defined in opposition to what one has left behind -  particularly when the role of religion is so pervasive that building a new life means reclaiming almost every aspect of it from the clutches of religious doctrine or influence.  But it's only as I age that I understand the loss - only as I grow into my father's shoes that I see how much I have sacrificed - and it's only as I come to face that loss that I see how much I let argument and anger exist as my milieu, defining my relationships - with him, with his community, and with myself.2/
       
 (DIR) Post #AUSUnzMRLsojeY9AW0 by TJ@mastodon.bida.im
       2023-04-08T22:32:51Z
       
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       @JaniceSelbie If I'd understood the emotional component as well as I grasped the intellectual aspect, I'd still have ended up the same committed atheist I am today. But, what a smoother path it could've been, had I mourned my losses rather than dismissing them; dealt with my anger in the context of what I'd lost rather than what I'd rejected; and seen myself not as a heroic rationalist, but as a human being (and a young and callow one at that) doing something that, for all the apparent intellectual ease of embracing the bleeding obvious, is, actually, quite hard on the soul (in a metaphorical sense, of course!).Anyway, this is all a long and embarrassingly personal way to say, thanks for sharing your list & the conference resources - a lot of valuable insights for new atheists - and for those not so new, but still growing!