Post ASqaV7hESHSa8p9XVI by tootiredtothink@mstdn.social
(DIR) More posts by tootiredtothink@mstdn.social
(DIR) Post #ASqaC0PBL5uo1gatLk by lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social
2023-02-19T19:32:06Z
0 likes, 2 repeats
It's my girlfriend's bird's birthday today. I'm finally starting to overcome my crippling fear of his razor-sharp beak. His terrifying talons. His jerky and unpredictable movements. His beady little eyes. If I ever go silent on here, please assume that the bird finally decided to strike.
(DIR) Post #ASqaK5LcqXkvfjmcrY by reneestephen@mastodon.social
2023-02-19T19:33:33Z
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@lowqualityfacts this is in fact a high-quality fact.
(DIR) Post #ASqaMd08h8RwcqwhJA by MonsieurLu@mamot.fr
2023-02-19T19:34:00Z
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@lowqualityfacts Interesting picture for those learning English : a bird, a beard, a beer!
(DIR) Post #ASqaV7hESHSa8p9XVI by tootiredtothink@mstdn.social
2023-02-19T19:35:34Z
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@lowqualityfacts a pirate; and a dude with a cup.
(DIR) Post #ASqaWXNmRKBk5yjFOy by Cyrus@zirk.us
2023-02-19T19:35:48Z
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@lowqualityfacts initially I missed the ‘s in girlfriend’s, so I read it as terror of your girlfriend bird. The relationship seemed challenging.
(DIR) Post #ASqaaRaDwXvzGePbOa by homelessjun@mas.to
2023-02-19T19:36:30Z
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@lowqualityfacts Looks a lot like my dear departed Peach-Front. If they really like you they will preen you. And ask to be preened. They often seem to like beards, too.
(DIR) Post #ASqalv0MtWJLhd71MG by xs4me2@mastodon.social
2023-02-19T19:38:34Z
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@lowqualityfacts Relax...
(DIR) Post #ASqamXyxyfMYaZkx5U by DXMacGuffin@metalhead.club
2023-02-19T19:38:40Z
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@lowqualityfacts Beautiful bird, the Norwegian Blue. It's got beautiful plumage.
(DIR) Post #ASqaxcFgRYLP14qzNw by DoubleTreble@cupoftea.social
2023-02-19T19:40:41Z
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@lowqualityfacts I feel your pain 🤣🤣🦜
(DIR) Post #ASqbvEmmoovDc2lc7E by BigJackBrass@social.vivaldi.net
2023-02-19T19:51:28Z
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@lowqualityfacts My neice had a parrot known for strolling into the room, demanding a cup of tea, then walking back out. In that respect I've always considered the bird a sort of soul mate.
(DIR) Post #ASqdBGPKemodEJ0CEy by MTnv@mstdn.ca
2023-02-19T20:05:34Z
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@lowqualityfacts ha omg I needed that laugh
(DIR) Post #ASqdTQG2lyR2zZJg5g by ChiaChatter@theres.life
2023-02-19T20:08:50Z
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@lowqualityfacts Beautiful bird! Quite a squawk they have but they are so much fun! I've not had any aratinga conures but have friends who have and if wasn't for the noise... Anyway, love the picture!
(DIR) Post #ASqe0JOjIZvBGy3uDI by SomhairleB@mastodon.ie
2023-02-19T20:14:48Z
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@lowqualityfacts A guy died after being attacked by a chicken. (A year ago or so, I think in Munster?) Coroner said it was a pre-existing heart condition, but he got a nasty peck in the leg - it was bleeding!We all know the Real Truth...
(DIR) Post #ASqe3E4nXYWbdZ82m8 by Talia_christine@mstdn.social
2023-02-19T20:15:20Z
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@lowqualityfacts happy bird-thday
(DIR) Post #ASqe3mGgPsEZgGx11M by davidtheeviloverlord@mastodon.social
2023-02-19T20:15:25Z
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@lowqualityfacts Birbs remember when they were dinosaurs.
(DIR) Post #ASqe8RXgtwYcqi8B9c by thepoliticalcat@mastodon.social
2023-02-19T20:16:16Z
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@lowqualityfacts You're letting a smol dinosaur sit right next to your BRAIN? I fear what the next photo will look like.
(DIR) Post #ASqe9GlGTEibhZsEtM by AgenderKaz@tech.lgbt
2023-02-19T20:16:22Z
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@lowqualityfacts What kind of bird? :o
(DIR) Post #ASqeCEIE6WouunheAy by lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social
2023-02-19T20:16:58Z
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@AgenderKaz He's a peach-front conure!
(DIR) Post #ASqeHTBOAjSaXi0H8i by boop@jorts.horse
2023-02-19T20:17:54Z
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@lowqualityfacts "who wants a cracker now? who wants a cracker now, motherf"
(DIR) Post #ASqeI7oR6ySgYOa1YW by AgenderKaz@tech.lgbt
2023-02-19T20:18:01Z
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@lowqualityfacts Ooo! Never heard of them before! Reminds me of a smaller patagonian conure we had!
(DIR) Post #ASqfRkbCNDdZPNXezI by HCBunny@mstdn.party
2023-02-19T20:30:58Z
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@lowqualityfacts There's an urban myth about a parrot and the death of the former owner of my home, but as I am currently in the literal exact location of her demise I DIGRESS.
(DIR) Post #ASqgzOsFkimVpV80rQ by MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social
2023-02-19T20:48:15Z
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@lowqualityfacts All you need is an eyepatch and you're a pirate! You got this!
(DIR) Post #ASqhEMZYalEB2FWBYe by skiwithstyle1@mstdn.social
2023-02-19T20:50:58Z
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@lowqualityfacts such a cute lil birb!
(DIR) Post #ASqhRkMpR2DYb7wjx2 by peatbog@med-mastodon.com
2023-02-19T20:53:22Z
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@lowqualityfacts Low Quality Facts v Girlfriend's Parrot Drama!!Did you know that Internet eFights increase engagement points? If you earn enough points you can turn them in for an engagement ring. Or clout, if you prefer.
(DIR) Post #ASqiOlJpXYvudPgVm4 by GustavinoBevilacqua@mastodon.cisti.org
2023-02-19T21:04:02Z
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@lowqualityfacts Uhm… I'm waiting for this:https://invidious.snopyta.org/watch?v=218GvC3rmnQ
(DIR) Post #ASqlFZS0b0u55BopQe by bodhidave@mstdn.social
2023-02-19T21:36:01Z
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@lowqualityfacts I was house-sitting for a few days for some friends who had a parrot. I spent most of my time upstairs.I had to go downstairs periodically, though, to answer their landline phone when it rang. However, most of the time it was not the phone—it was the parrot trolling me by imitating the sound of the phone ringing.🤔 ☎️ 🦜
(DIR) Post #ASqljdUc8GXmJ3NEHI by kinyutaka@mstdn.social
2023-02-19T21:41:26Z
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@lowqualityfacts Yarr, matey. You just needs to show the bird who be the Captain o' yer ship.
(DIR) Post #ASqmAzLiyhANucG4sy by Melinda@mstdn.social
2023-02-19T21:46:23Z
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@lowqualityfacts Your buddy is only a cute little cockatiel! I was expecting at least a condor from your description.
(DIR) Post #ASqmusjrt7vcjMR20G by phuzzykins@jorts.horse
2023-02-19T21:54:35Z
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@lowqualityfacts Trudy Beakman says hello.
(DIR) Post #ASqpWSjvCUUX0ZVWvw by spiritsplice@pieville.net
2023-02-19T22:23:54Z
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@lowqualityfacts stfu faggot
(DIR) Post #ASquLdtrriwGCtotBQ by aapis@mastodon.world
2023-02-19T23:17:56Z
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@lowqualityfacts behind those beady eyes are 4 brain cells than hate you in different ways
(DIR) Post #ASqwFQulQryE6VPDzU by rachel_maria65@toot.community
2023-02-19T23:39:14Z
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@lowqualityfacts With total non knowing of either of you 2, I’m still betting the farm on you - tough luck birdy. 🖖🏼
(DIR) Post #ASr8ge7nckEYLMFIC8 by siegel@mastodon.social
2023-02-20T01:58:34Z
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@lowqualityfacts "pocket velociraptor".
(DIR) Post #ASrwtcQwDd8sZRZphI by lacybarry@climatejustice.social
2023-02-20T11:21:11Z
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@lowqualityfacts hahahaha
(DIR) Post #ASta8HtMxqmsZooxUW by panamared27401@mstdn.social
2023-02-21T06:15:34Z
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@lowqualityfacts Dude. Don't move. There's a velociraptor on your shoulder.
(DIR) Post #ATeIAUUnzMVHqWe5vU by BigEarl@mindly.social
2023-03-15T19:05:41Z
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@lowqualityfacts Just keep a cuttlebone behind your ear and you'll be safe.
(DIR) Post #ATeIeQAQeB0V6nO1qK by melchiorbv@moth.social
2023-03-15T19:11:05Z
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@lowqualityfacts show them bird, who you are 🦜🦜
(DIR) Post #ATeJGOJhyV8SNFpg7k by Pineapple@toot.pizza
2023-03-15T19:17:57Z
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@lowqualityfacts They're just dinosaur brains in tiny inferior bodies. I used to do gardening for people with a duck in their backyard. They didn't own the duck. It was wild but favorited their backyard. It would migrate but come back to their backyard year after year. It was very territorial. I had to wear either long pants or long socks otherwise I'd be covered in duck "bites" which were not dangerous yet still annoying. I could tell it desperately wished it were large and had real teeth.
(DIR) Post #ATeKWzPXvYFy0V2eGW by Rwodaski@mastodon.art
2023-03-15T19:32:09Z
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@lowqualityfacts We have a Mini Aussie Shepherd, and she shows her love with a ‘mock bite’, and it took a long while to realize that she really is responsible about that (but: I can incite an entirely different mouth thing if I teaser her, so I don’t tease). Learning to trust and understand animals is a very mind-altering experience, but love is love. I’m glad you’re experimenting with it. I haven’t got the courage to try it with a bird, so I’m pretty impressed with your progress.
(DIR) Post #ATeLqLj7HYy2fqzV3I by jdbaker237@mastodon.social
2023-03-15T19:46:52Z
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@lowqualityfacts You're reposting this from February 19th, has something horrible happened? Is this you posting or has the bird taken over your account and is mocking your demise?
(DIR) Post #ATeOTzg4sZ71mXbKvw by heathen_cat@mastodon.social
2023-03-15T20:16:25Z
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@lowqualityfacts Tiny dinosaurs. You have every right to fear. Pretty bird though, we had a similar one when I was growing up, the thing loved my dad.
(DIR) Post #ATePCJllXWTYpxOgJk by Hasufin@mastodon.social
2023-03-15T20:24:27Z
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@lowqualityfacts Just a reminder that a parrot's beak evolved for cracking seeds, not rending flesh. That's a much higher bite pressure and if the bird is so inclined it can take a finger clean off.
(DIR) Post #ATeQvpRMjayi337Vzc by smilingheretic@mas.to
2023-03-15T20:43:53Z
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@lowqualityfacts Good luck with that! My #birb has spent twenty something years using me as his personal chew toy!#ParrotsOfMastodon
(DIR) Post #ATeVLaHe6pGMO06umm by portcitystudios@masto.ai
2023-03-15T21:33:21Z
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@lowqualityfacts Calling Tippi Hedren 🦜😵💫
(DIR) Post #ATeY0qt9TdG3fOSXkO by the_turtle@mastodon.sdf.org
2023-03-15T22:03:14Z
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@lowqualityfacts giant wabbits are pretty cool.
(DIR) Post #ATegBXT8olhAFytrCS by hensley@geekdom.social
2023-03-15T23:34:46Z
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@lowqualityfacts there’s an Alfred Hitchcock movie you should watch…
(DIR) Post #ATeiyPk4XDgcOFFica by lensandpedals@ohai.social
2023-03-16T00:05:59Z
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@lowqualityfacts Beady little eyes are in fact actual beads.
(DIR) Post #ATfA1KTbGa4RgqA7xg by IsobelLynn@writing.exchange
2023-03-16T05:09:06Z
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@lowqualityfacts Only the people who've never had parrots actually think you're joking. I have a caique who loves my feet and hates my hands. I know the courage this took. 😅 Respect.
(DIR) Post #ATfBhhnt1iFk9eQCTw by ChristineMalec@mstdn.ca
2023-03-16T05:27:59Z
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@lowqualityfacts It's just lulling you into a false sense of security before pecking out your eyes. Sorry, just kidding.
(DIR) Post #ATfWc5IQrn6aJds0RM by JenGeorge@mastodon.social
2023-03-16T09:22:15Z
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@lowqualityfacts The good new is that the bird seems to approve of you.