Post ASZOL1apn2NFBCGAiG by Anton_Sturm@chudbuds.lol
(DIR) More posts by Anton_Sturm@chudbuds.lol
(DIR) Post #ASZ7P7a5lo43glHRFA by txt@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T09:19:27.296689Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
Thanks to all for your kind words. I appreciate it deeply.Holding up as best I can. Have to keep reminding myself it’s real. Going through spurts of calm, laughter, then fits of all-out sobbing.During our last talk, I told him that he taught me how to laugh, as a means of dealing with life.Dammit, I’m trying, Dad.
(DIR) Post #ASZ9685NrxDtezzLpg by Jim@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T09:36:52.088010Z
6 likes, 1 repeats
The first couple of weeks are the toughest especially at nights when you are left alone with your thoughts. One thing that helps is having something to focus on as a distraction if it becomes too much. Movies, gaming, some sort of project if you're into DIY stuff is especially good. Anything to help pass time until daybreak and you can get a little more centered.
(DIR) Post #ASZ9uLFdCA6syFizUu by txt@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T09:47:31.617707Z
4 likes, 0 repeats
@Jim Thanks, Jim. Yeah, doing a lot of (legal) self-medicating and finding distractions to avoid reality right now.I’m sure you can relate here, but a long time ago, I had a enlarged cyst develop on my neck. My doctor thought I had lymphoma. For the next month before surgery, I buried myself. Deep depression and coping via whatever felt good and staved off paranoia of potentially having cancer. In my case, it was food, movies, and porn.Hey, at least I’m honest. LOL
(DIR) Post #ASZAVbQU1HLtqqZH7Y by Jim@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T09:54:14.452025Z
6 likes, 0 repeats
Whatever helps though that last one might cause some awkward situations in heaven."My son is very filial and misses me greatly. Proud of him.""Which one on Earth is he?""That one right there, the one watching 18 hours of hardcore pornogra...."
(DIR) Post #ASZC5veQOwdmxNyUBk by swattysquad@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T10:12:01.866380Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Jeez txt i had no idea. I'll keep you in my thoughts friend i hope you get through this 💖
(DIR) Post #ASZCBMHinxih0Ywc5Y by swattysquad@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T10:13:00.791863Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Are your treatments going well jim? Feeling any relief?
(DIR) Post #ASZFHMg6YUN9pNuAme by suejohnson_@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T10:28:38.022970Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
That’s normal. The cycling. Jim gave very good advice. All I can add is just take it minute by minute. Day by day baby stepsLean on people you love when you need to.
(DIR) Post #ASZFIfS4F0GyLIxbeK by suejohnson_@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T10:15:30.857362Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Mine was iv heroin so you’re good lol. Keep it to legal and non addictive and day by day.It sucks but the cliche is true. Time heals And that’s all that heals loss unfortunately
(DIR) Post #ASZG6JSsGJoOd90iEy by Trent_Hardwood@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T10:56:55.342739Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
My deepest condolences.I wish you long life.
(DIR) Post #ASZIjE3cV4Rr3tsfkO by RandomITGuy@poa.st
2023-02-11T11:23:50.083948Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Jim @txt LoLDealing with depression, thanks Jim, mean it sincerelyWhatever else, know this, you have a positive effect on my life
(DIR) Post #ASZJN9KBW3IfxzfLgO by BubotheJester98@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T11:29:15.425800Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
"Which one on earth is he?""The one who's a bout to do unspeakable things to that McChicken in the McDonald's parking lot."
(DIR) Post #ASZOL1apn2NFBCGAiG by Anton_Sturm@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T12:09:33.346452Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
I'm a cancer survivor. Was in my early 20s when it happened. My testicle cancer nearly turned into lung cancer but by dumb luck or by some godly intervention I skipped that part. The tumor in my head was life threatening but at the same time at some spot where it was pretty easy to remove. Fucking cancer came back a few years later but that was kindergarten.During my first run for treatment I was in a hospital where the adult station for cancer people was right next to the one for kids. Ngl at that time I was completely fucked up and depressed. I didnt want to die. I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, I couldnt jerk off, I could do nothing. One guy of the hospital personnel took my one day out in the hospital park in my wheelchair bc I couldnt walk bc of how weak I was. By "coincidence" he led me through the kid's station bc he told me he had to check on some boy there. I met the boy. It was a 9y old kid with bone cancer. Dont know how it's called in English. That kid went through fucking hell. Like what I went through was kindergarten. But that little fucker smiled from one ear to another and that's when it hit me. I didnt want to die but I realized that I already had lived. I had friends, already saw a bit of our beautiful world, had fucked, got shitfaced and stuff. I had lived and I had a good life. That was when I realized: when you enjoy life you dont have to fear death. Bc it's not on me how much time I have here. But it's on me how I spend my time here. What I do with my time. And no matter how bad it looks there are always people out there who get fucked more. Fucking kids shouldnt have to deal with cancer. Or hunger or abusive parents or fucking war. And when a kid can take it so can I.My dad died years ago bc of cancer. I was with him in his very last moments. At his funeral I cried like a child. But not bc he was gone but bc of all the good memories and the good life he provided for me. It wasnt always easy and shiny and good but he did his best and loved me unconditionally. It was ok that he was gone bc all the things that happened were there and will always be there. Noone and nothing can take this away. He will always be in my memories and in my heart. It's ok that he is gone bc no parent should outlive his children. That's not how things should work. They put you in this world, provide for you, teach you, love you and then they go. But if they do their job right they will never be gone.I'm not sorry for your loss. Bc you haven't lost anything. I don't know your dad or heck, even you. But the way you talk about your dad says he did his job right and this for he will always be there bc he will always be with you.It's ok to feel sad. But never ever let the sadness drag you down into some dark places. He wouldnt want it, I'm very sure about this.Don't fight the things that can't be fought. Only fight what can be fought. And if you struggle remember there will always be people who have it worse and if they can take it why shouldnt you? We all have the strength that is needed in us. There will also always people who care and if no other is there then there is still you who can take care about yourself. After rain will always be sunshine. That's the law of nature. Nothing stays the same which means darkness isnt forever and it's always worth to go and see the light. There is only one fight we all won't win but it's not on you to decide when it's time to fight it. And the enemy in this fight isn't an enemy. We have a name for him in German, it's Freund Hein (friend Hein). Bc he's a friend. He takes you on your next journey whereever this journey may lead you. And until this journey starts he wants you to have a good time. Bc that's what friends want for you.Good luck and take care, fren.
(DIR) Post #ASZQeCNI816C1pCCXY by chudbere@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T12:55:04.883926Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
As cliche as it might sound, time will heal this pain more than anything else. I second what Jim said about keeping your mind occupied, especially now while you are still processing the rawest grief and sense of loss. Every day will get a little easier, and eventually you will have a day where you don't think about the loss at all. Then two days. Then a week. But grief will still sneak up on you when you least expect it sometimes. Don't be ashamed of it. It's been 17 years since my father passed and it still sneaks up on me sometimes, especially when I think about how much he would love and be proud of the grandchildren he never got a chance to meet. All you can do is take every day as it comes.
(DIR) Post #ASZRNPRSOKvNaRhbge by lessthan0@chudbuds.lol
2023-02-11T13:03:16.055599Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
My thoughts are with you...