Post ARjMuf3Fe2F2QKkl2u by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
(DIR) More posts by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
(DIR) Post #ARjMucjKH97BDxPoi8 by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
2022-12-26T09:08:47Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
Yesterday we had my mum with us for Christmas Day. She lives in a care home, has Alzheimer’s & is at a stage where she knows who most of her family are, but if she can’t see something right now, she can’t visualise it or remember it. She’s quite confused a lot of the time. And she hates her (eye-wateringly expensive) care home that she refers to as “the dump”.
(DIR) Post #ARjMudKY2ktB5OpXjE by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
2022-12-26T09:10:59Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I drove over early with my daughter to “nanny wrangle” as we call it, as we never know what mood she will be in, or how she will react to agreed plans. It’s always better to have two of us, so one can distract & engage mum, & the other can speak to nurses without mum snapping “don’t talk to them! They don’t know me. I’ve never seen any of them before in my life.”
(DIR) Post #ARjMudogEizYaqvbhA by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
2022-12-26T09:13:02Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
So we brought her to ours & she said she’d like to stay for a few days, & we said, “oh ok” while knowing she’d not really want this. Once home, she thought she’d like to help cook, so I gave her the Brussels sprouts to prep. Seemed straightforward.
(DIR) Post #ARjMueD8lmYdoiN8oy by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
2022-12-26T09:15:33Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
And it was. But after every sprout, she’d say, “can you check I’ve done it right? I’m not sure” and I’d look and say, “oh yes, that’s a lovely one! Good job mum! You’re doing a fab job, thank you.” She managed to do about 1/3 of the bag of sprouts while I did the rest of the veg & then joined her with sprout prep. It was very similar to my work at school with traumatised children.
(DIR) Post #ARjMued1DZG36yTo9o by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
2022-12-26T09:18:06Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
But she did it & was very pleased with herself. I wish that in her care home, there was opportunity to do this kind of simple repetitive task that feels relevant & useful to her. She doesn’t want to do arts & crafts, she liked cleaning & tidying & being useful. I feel guilty I can have her live with me, (it would probably kill me) but she’s so bored in the care home.
(DIR) Post #ARjMuf3Fe2F2QKkl2u by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
2022-12-26T09:20:35Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
We ate at 2pm, which is 1.5 hours later than usual for her - I fed her smoked salmon & crisps while we worked, so she wasn’t hungry, but as we ate lunch, she just got more & more worried about missing supper in the home. At 5.30. Even though I said we could have supper at my house. “But then I go to bed! Where am I sleeping?” So we agreed we’d finish the main course & then drive her back to the home.
(DIR) Post #ARjMufQeF2xNathRVw by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
2022-12-26T09:22:49Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
An hour later, we arrived at the care home & she was then rather annoyed she’d left my house. She phoned me at 6 to say she should have stayed longer. So I said, “well we will next time then Mum.” But actually, she just gets so anxious when her routine changes. I don’t know why I’m sharing this tale of dementia, but it feels important. So there we are. #dementia
(DIR) Post #ARjMufqsfVwMuFyOP2 by stannard@mastodon.org.uk
2023-01-17T10:08:11Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@lottaboheme So sad .Sometimes it helps to talk.My Dad went to a care home close to where he used to live, It was about a six hour drive for me.For a while he had visitors who had known him for years, but they gradually stopped calling.On my visits, he frequently asked me who I was.Although a friend he hadn't seen for many years, He recognised straight away.Heartbreaking times, I had to sit and get the grit from my eye before I could drive home.
(DIR) Post #ARu0zlDo4RDakuHAo4 by lottaboheme@mstdn.social
2023-01-22T13:24:27Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@stannard really heartbreaking for you x