Post APVWpSdC5WR7vLklsm by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
(DIR) More posts by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #APVV3pblG1dFKbo9UO by Ember_Simone@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T21:10:39.261358Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
Since I graduated with honors from university and started getting full ride offers to law schools, the people in my life have stopped condescending me as much. However, it’s been replaced with thinly veiled contempt/ expecting me to continuously soothe their ego. Saying that they believe I think they are dumb and flipping out when I disagree with them. Especially men. My friend who I met in a pre- law program but also dropped out at the same time I did & hasn’t been able to go back to school. Today he just was getting upset and not listening to me. He then insisted that I had zero obstacles to going to law school while he is uniquely struggling. I just feel like I’ve been hearing this a lot & it’s absolutely crazy. I’m a second generation undergrad student with a lot of family violence & anti education vibes. I grew up in an abusive household & am still dealing with the aftermath of that. I spent over a year being sexually assaulted by my sister’s boyfriend between my senior & freshman year of college. Developed a addiction to drugs & alcohol. Dropped out of that school and lives back w/ my abusive parents. Then went to a different school and spiraled full out of control especially after being assisted by his cousin & trying to kill myself. I have been living within survival, trauma brain for at least 22-23 years of my 24. Last winter got so dark. It is so recently that I have been starting to feel smart, capable, worthwhile. And it’s come after becoming sober, accomplishing my goals, and putting boundaries up in toxic relationships. I blocked this ex friend for that reason. It’s just ridiculous to say I haven’t faced obstacles because my parents have money and helped me with specifically school. They had no problem trying to use that money and gaslight me into being around my sister who defends my rapist and refusing to stand up for me. I’m so tired. And I’ve been so isolated that part of me is blaming myself through these interactions. I’m just so tired and I just wanted so bad to be congratulated and supported by friends/ family. It feels like the more acceptances and scholarships I get the more people are threatened by me. It shows that none of my relationships were about support but control. Just like my parents. My mom liked the idea that I was going to struggle & was going to need financially/ comfort support. But as soon as I tried to put in boundaries & said “hey don’t blame me for my trauma or talk about my rape denier all the time” + I don’t need financial support & I can distance myself. She’s not about it anymore
(DIR) Post #APVV3q95G8HqzxOlQe by Kay@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T21:42:43.092060Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Ember_Simone Some people have their heads shoved so firmly up their own behind, that they do not hear other people's struggles even if you tell them constantly what your struggles have been/continue to be. I found that out the hard way, through the pandemic. Lost one friend who wouldn't take my sensible advice about her home business, after she received cease and desist letters. She believes she can just plead ignorance after getting those letters. I'm not a lawyer, so she thinks my advice was to cover up that I think she's stupid. And another former friend thinks I'm a stupid whore for "punching down" on perfectly valid and stunning and brave men in drag, because the idea that I could be a survivor of iffy things never occurred to her. No, I'm just a prissy prude, who is also a whore. And transphobic and homophobic, because I object to homophobia. None of it makes any sense - unless I recognize that both these women are under the impression that other people are always more privileged than them, and cannot have had a hard time, ever.
(DIR) Post #APVVTgHIZKjpvLYwe8 by GrumpyOldNurse@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T21:54:03.659201Z
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@Ember_Simone Yep. Some people will always take your success as a personal insult, especially if they were getting their needs met by 'rescuing' you. I hope you can build healthier, more equitable relationships going forward. ❤️
(DIR) Post #APVVpMQJ4KWciU77HU by Ember_Simone@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T21:57:29.011148Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@GrumpyOldNurse Thank you 😊 that’s some wise words. I think it may be easier in the future, I used to want to be saved so I could see how I could attract those trying to save me. I no longer want any of that
(DIR) Post #APVVtHPJez7SJmWFyS by AnneBevan@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T21:48:10.261670Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Kay @Ember_Simone That was tough. Hope you have better friends now.
(DIR) Post #APVVzQzIx9I3ljHsSu by GrumpyOldNurse@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T21:59:48.262254Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Ember_Simone That is what finally made me leave me ex. He was fine when I was messed up, but after I started to get healthy, he would have rescued me to death.Anyway. It feels great to rescue yourself! Good luck with it.
(DIR) Post #APVW4Tqxj7b26Un8Pw by Kay@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T21:58:28.325483Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@AnneBevan Oh I may be down a few friends, but in terms of quality of friends, that has gone up with the trash taking itself out. Always have to look for silver linings!@Ember_Simone should also look at the silver linings. These people who find any reason to shit on your accomplishments, or suggest you haven't been through the ringer because your experience differs from their own, are not great friends. They are just people. They have emotional baggage. They project. They attack others. You do not have to be their emotional punching bag. Politely distancing yourself from them is not cruel.
(DIR) Post #APVWOXgLCYGNlnODZY by FemaleIsNotAFeeling@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T22:01:59.390406Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Ember_Simone Remove the jealous haters from your life and continue to rise above the ashes. You've got yourself on such a successful path, you don't need that type of crap holding you back. I still love your essay you shared with me on racism. I've seen your potential. You're gunna go far and do great things. I am proud of you and your hard work!
(DIR) Post #APVWRaeQcQ29qawrKa by Sir_Ivissia@chudbuds.lol
2022-11-11T22:03:36.620309Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
Two things from some rando you'll likely never talk to again:1/ "It feels like the more acceptances and scholarships I get the more people are threatened by me. It shows that none of my relationships were about support but control." It's close people - those relationships, to a certain extent, are always about control. Not of you though - of themselves. Think about it - you've completely demolished every self serving excuse for themselves they've built up over years. This is a problem, but it is not YOUR problem.2/ You're a tough one. I like that, world could do with another billion or so like you. Be well.
(DIR) Post #APVWnjNCs14RGmRzbk by senryu@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T22:08:33.244275Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Kay @Ember_Simone The law is not kind to idiots.
(DIR) Post #APVWpSdC5WR7vLklsm by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-11-11T22:09:12.027585Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@senryu @Kay @Ember_Simone Seriously, both of those “friends” don’t sound very bright.