Post ALIbewZYbILQaHuG3s by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
(DIR) More posts by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
(DIR) Post #ALHYGhwQqw99EiOjHk by feerique@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T12:50:58.548999Z
3 likes, 2 repeats
This may be a controversial opinion but if a woman asks a man how tall he is on an online dating app and he asks for her BMI in response, I am not getting out my feminist pitchforks. I feel like that's her own personal battle thank you very much.
(DIR) Post #ALHYYOHagMINTij6Qa by Ladyfat@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T12:54:10.248265Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique What questions would you feel are wrong to ask? Pineapple on pizza? Race? Religion? Veganity? Previous partners? Do you like mayonnaise?
(DIR) Post #ALHaN2k6cwsLObmUUq by RockTheBoat@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T12:56:46.376905Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique That’s snarky IMO if he won’t answer until she gives her BMI.
(DIR) Post #ALHahzSI2pT3HWR6Zc by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:18:18.269219Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique I guess I don’t run into so many short men that the question would even be on a list to ask. Whatever causes little people must be rare. Or is this a matter of people debating a few inches?
(DIR) Post #ALHbWWlmSNdF5EePQG by feerique@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:27:26.855127Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@RockTheBoat Yeah at least answer first. But I mention it because there was that twitter post with a screenshot and the guy did answer. He was 6ft+ and turned around and asked her bmi and the twitterati were eviscerating him. Like if she can have her standards so can he. I'm just mad that people want to use feminism for petty fights like this. It just further cheapens the women's rights movements and makes modern feminism an even bigger joke.
(DIR) Post #ALHbfiVACt1Y4lGBeq by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:29:06.339824Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique @RockTheBoat I agree. It is cheap and silly. With any interpersonal demand, it seems natural that the equivalent be asked of you.
(DIR) Post #ALHbmUIbPUX63Qc5OC by feerique@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:30:19.990908Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara It's a pretty common question these days. Though it depends on the app. Some will let you filter based on height so you can avoid that convo. This just means a lot more men are lying about it though. If I understand correctly, its 6ft+ or nothing.
(DIR) Post #ALHbsm1OQoUwkzYqi8 by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:31:27.915861Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique I suppose the weight thing would go the same way, then. I wonder if that is built into the apps?It is all very dystopian.
(DIR) Post #ALHbx2kYB5U3nUidkW by feerique@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:32:14.281805Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@Ladyfat idk, I feel like asking for condiment preferences before we've even met irl is definitely crossing the line.
(DIR) Post #ALHcNeHXG0fxjJplbM by feerique@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:37:02.643305Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara Imagine being the app developers who would add that filter and draw the ire of the HAES crowd. Not that I don't support body positivity but these days, a fit man refusing to date even a my 600lbs life participant is worthy of scorn from them. Though from what I've seen the female participants often have fit carers/boyfriends so the bmi question would certainly not be creating femcels as reddit bros seem to fantasize it would.
(DIR) Post #ALHcY4mNaxBqo3EWMi by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:38:55.396830Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique Yeah, I can see why the BMI filter would be left off, and the height one would remain. The height question would not launch a thousand teary libfem TikToks and employer complaints.
(DIR) Post #ALHdNfZuXN0Rhl0EYy by EmmyNoether@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:47:43.657879Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara @feerique Unfortunately there is no wanker filter.You have to weed out the “posing with fish/ tigers/ abseiling awkwardly [with safety rope in plain sight indicating that they are in fact not actual climbers]”, “ex awkwardly snipped out”, “interests - ‘avin a larf, must like top bants”, “no bunny boilers”, “netflix and chill”, “looking for a lovely laydee to spoil rotten”, one at a time.The quickest method, I find, is to assume they’re all wankers and give up on dating entirely.
(DIR) Post #ALHdgL4kzO9JcTKhm4 by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T13:51:37.565520Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@EmmyNoether @feerique I know a couple of people, a man and a woman, who have sworn off dating (online) entirely. They still hope they will meet someone out in the real world, apparently, but had bad experiences in Tinder and the like. The guy said it was like interacting with NPCs, and the woman, of course, mentioned the creeps.
(DIR) Post #ALHiQ17TuvCgredyvQ by Ladyfat@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T14:44:42.211497Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique Probably why you’re single 😉[joke! before someone hits me]
(DIR) Post #ALHk5B7HknRDhDk8bg by Gnomeshatecheese@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T15:03:21.059979Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique @Hollahollara Is this “the man must be TALL” an American thing? As in I really don’t remember running into it on this side of the pond, except once, and the woman in question was around 170cm so tallish for a woman. I do happen to have a tall spouse, but I have not rejected even short men for their height alone. As for the weight, well if I was on online dating apps and the person’s weight wasn’t obvious from the photos, I’d probably ask. For lifestyle reasons alone. I don’t see why that should be a big deal.
(DIR) Post #ALHopFLWl9xvx4cx2e by feerique@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T15:56:29.897366Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Ladyfat ....you may be onto something here 🤔
(DIR) Post #ALIDgAaNaTG9R3LJYG by LittleSis@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T19:52:55.235248Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara @feerique @RockTheBoat Weight is not equal to height. High is equal to height. Men have high preferences as well. Most men don't want a taller woman. And they always had standards for women. They never had give up on their standards for survival. We are just starting to even have any standards at all. It was so recent that we were able to not be dependent on men and marriage handouts to even say hey, I like you this tall. Why are men so angry and hysterical that women can have physical preferences? Really no man should open his mouth to a woman about her weight. As if his being so irresponsible with his sperm is not the number one reason her weight is in jeopardy. Even birth control pills make women gain weight, but males could not be assed to be trusted with it. You know why it's a feminist issue, because males' resentment and hostility to women having any preference, no matter how stupid or small, is a reminder that women are human and not a resource for males. Males are the reason it's a feminist issue.
(DIR) Post #ALIDgBF98trxTUPs5w by feerique@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T20:34:58.188429Z
2 likes, 1 repeats
@LittleSis @Hollahollara @RockTheBoat Oh I applaud women having their standards and sticking by them. I also find it hysterical how upset men get over that. I still miss FDS on reddit and how it made them seethe. However, I don't think a man not wanting to date a woman because of her weight is a feminist issue. Women being excoriated for their weight when men don't face that scrutiny is definitely one but defending someone's right to dignity in healthcare and in the workplace/etc is not the same as someone's right to date anyone they please.
(DIR) Post #ALINsu7P7frTfXV6sS by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T22:29:19.613717Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique @LittleSis @RockTheBoat With dating apps, you are getting the most surface version of someone’s life and personality. I don’t feel the urgency in managing perceptions of women and men on dating apps. There are all sorts of reasons a man or woman may not find another physically appealing, and that is a person’s right. Sexual rejection is disappointing, but it is not an emergency of any sort.Beyond height and weight, appearance, I wish we would hold to the standards we already have, or we imagine we have, for relationships. Mandatory attraction on a dating app is not the banner I will wave. It is laughable.Men can resent difference, and they can resent what they can’t control. It takes care and intention to manage frustration when people are different from romantic expectations. It’s a shame that it takes experience to even begin to parse what behaviors you may suffer in a future relationship when a man does not act with care, but someone being cruel about weight right out of the gate is as good an indicator as any.
(DIR) Post #ALIWs7NtDLGs6tuaOm by LittleSis@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T21:48:00.742285Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique @Hollahollara @RockTheBoat Of course, nobody has to date someone they don't find attractive. That said men use women's weight gain as an excuse to cheat and an excuse to be verbally abusive. I wish the beginning and end of the issues was that dude does not want to date you. That would be good. But no they hold it over your head for the rest of your life. I am coming from Reddit off the chest and this woman wants to divorce her husband because she suddenly gained over 70 pounds and he turned abusive on her. She had a medical condition that once resolved she went back to her regular weight. But she can't see him in the same way as before. I am so disgusted on her behalf. And she is not unique, it is so common.
(DIR) Post #ALIWscJ0FYmY0ircaO by RockTheBoat@spinster.xyz
2022-07-08T23:09:45.138134Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara @feerique @LittleSis Plus it’s possible to have a high BMI (according to the charts) but be fit AF if you are someone who works out and has a lot of muscle. And now that I think about it, this dude is 100% the asshole. He KNEW he’d be ripped a new one by this woman for asking her weight, so thought he’d be a slick Rick by “only” asking her BMI. The dude knew it was an asshole move.
(DIR) Post #ALIZrRkAKiFMpIhcKe by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T00:43:31.118249Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique @RockTheBoat I wish I could see the tweet in question…I found this, though. Coupled with wanting American women (assumed 🇺🇸 bc it is Bumble) to be not-fat, it sounds like men and women have some unrealistic expectations, and not a lot of courtesy around the issue.Which is kind of funny, if you want to laugh at loneliness, alienation, and a lack of family life.Who TF wants a 7’ man?
(DIR) Post #ALIb1a6SCvG9bRWYwS by colonelj@kiwifarms.cc
2022-07-09T00:56:34.128023Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara @RockTheBoat @feerique a taller woman perhaps
(DIR) Post #ALIb8ke9PC1yKWhk6i by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T00:57:51.629805Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@colonelj @RockTheBoat @feerique Maybe a tiny woman who wants to be carried through the park in a backpack.
(DIR) Post #ALIbHlwZx3v4xYcqwK by Kay@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T00:57:16.083602Z
3 likes, 1 repeats
@feerique That shouldn't be a controversial opinion. It all basically comes down to no meaning no. Doesn't matter how stupid or vain someone's preferences appear to be - if they say they're not interested, that's that. No sense pushing it or shaming them. Because if the rejected person gets their way, they get to date someone who was never interested in them in the first place. That can't be nice.
(DIR) Post #ALIbIQfeWtk3Gw1PkW by colonelj@kiwifarms.cc
2022-07-09T00:59:35.936421Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara @RockTheBoat @feerique women fit best in duffel bags :blobspy:
(DIR) Post #ALIbNwbvCny3mOuGPo by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:00:36.257185Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@colonelj @RockTheBoat @feerique I can’t breathe in here, killer!
(DIR) Post #ALIbbKBirABMfV23oO by LittleSis@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T00:51:09.703446Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara @feerique @RockTheBoat Me, I want a 7" dude, I want him to sweep cobwebs from the ceiling corners. And I am gonna guess the 4% that want a 4.11" guy want to play momy?? 🤣
(DIR) Post #ALIbewZYbILQaHuG3s by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:03:40.865991Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@LittleSis @feerique @RockTheBoat Oh noooo…NO MOMMY JUST SAY NO.Mostly bc likely his mommy is still involved.
(DIR) Post #ALIbhEI5hAkO7EpJYG by Kay@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:02:07.845484Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara @feerique @RockTheBoat Who wants to date a seven foot man? Women who do not know what a seven foot tall man actually looks like? Or women who are themselves already having to bend down to get through doorways. They'll definitely want a partner who understands that struggle.
(DIR) Post #ALIcAC1BDyN7SsjAXY by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:09:19.470467Z
3 likes, 0 repeats
@Kay @feerique @RockTheBoat On a semi-related note, my parents were close friends with this couple. The couple lived in a house built by hand by the father of one. This man built everything, doorways, counters, shelves, gates, windows…to accommodate his specific, shorter-than-average height. Everyone bumped their heads and knees bc Dad was shorter than most.This man is still trolling the world with his height forty years after his death, as my parents struggle to repair and remodel the hand built house left to them.
(DIR) Post #ALIcOvyz7rhO4kjK0u by Hibou@kiwifarms.cc
2022-07-09T01:11:56.518549Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara @Kay @RockTheBoat @feerique Manlets are the worst. Even in death!
(DIR) Post #ALIcabH3weklKBkT4K by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:14:05.953380Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hibou @Kay @RockTheBoat @feerique He had a heated and lighted dog house in the forties, though, so he could not be all bad. It was a modest place, too.
(DIR) Post #ALIcnw5zqII3fLvo8W by Hibou@kiwifarms.cc
2022-07-09T01:16:30.733358Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hollahollara @Kay @RockTheBoat @feerique Heated is nice but lighted is overkill for a dog.
(DIR) Post #ALIcuOR5O4phIasIXg by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:17:40.513593Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@Hibou @Kay @RockTheBoat @feerique I thought so too. I was joking with my parents about the dog not being able to sleep, in his constantly-illuminated cell.
(DIR) Post #ALId0mVin5pxhe5akK by ninafromcanadaeh@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:13:59.072031Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Kay @Hollahollara @feerique @RockTheBoat taller does not mean bigger penis.. and it is the nose paired with that, hands to feet... humans are symmetrical.
(DIR) Post #ALId0mwfAvO73Ch6jw by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:18:49.724913Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ninafromcanadaeh @Kay @feerique @RockTheBoat No one lets me measure their nose. Or their penis. But mainly the nose.
(DIR) Post #ALIeqSb4AtuWxCnNaK by ninafromcanadaeh@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:32:39.508994Z
1 likes, 1 repeats
@Hollahollara @Kay @feerique @RockTheBoat you can eyeball a nose, eh
(DIR) Post #ALIetiNvvnQkmyCk9w by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T01:39:57.053739Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ninafromcanadaeh @Kay @feerique @RockTheBoat Precision is important.
(DIR) Post #ALIj0b0GAtMNjpfTlY by Kay@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T02:20:43.858904Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@ninafromcanadaeh @Hollahollara @feerique @RockTheBoat Yeah, I wasn't even going to go there. I've heard that joke many times about taller men. You know they got big... shoes! But I've also heard the rest is not larger relative to their height. I have also not done any scientific exploration so I can't confirm, but I find the whole wanting a taller man for a larger dick thing really dumb. What if you do find a guy who's just enormous? He probably isn't all that great in bed, and maybe the sex will be absolutely not worth it or leave you injured.
(DIR) Post #ALIl958mCymtQspGQi by feerique@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T02:49:57.268658Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Kay @ninafromcanadaeh @Hollahollara @RockTheBoat Speaking of shoe sizes, I recently ran into a man with really small feet, smaller than mine and I'm the average US women's size. It was one of the most unattractive traits I'd ever run into. Like my ovaries physically shrank in horror and all. This was the first time I'd met a man with feet that size so this was a revelation to me. I guess my brain was subconsciously trying to warn me away. He was fairly short too, like my height and I'm also average US women's height but I didn't give that much thought, it was the shoe size that did it.
(DIR) Post #ALJopTyEm7u1cmlXlI by ObligateSpinster@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T07:08:48.538543Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique At this point of the discourse, I really don't care if anyone says I won't date someone with XYZ characteristics.
(DIR) Post #ALJoxq2kapIcOmrSiG by Kay@spinster.xyz
2022-07-09T02:52:22.675911Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@feerique @ninafromcanadaeh @Hollahollara @RockTheBoat See and you did yourself and him a favor by listening to that ovary-shrinking feeling! If you had tried to be nice and get to know him, you would have wasted you own time and patience for a guy who's probably got some hangups about his feet.