Post AGic8aeWpFlvr9sHiK by technicalissues@fosstodon.org
(DIR) More posts by technicalissues@fosstodon.org
(DIR) Post #AGheAET4HixYNfSt9c by kev@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T13:38:49Z
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This was a tough one to write. Reader discretion is advised.https://onecrapdad.com/reacting-poorly-to-an-awful-situation/#moa
(DIR) Post #AGhfYZfZD2cH2ZTxJo by stuts@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T13:54:31Z
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@kev Geez, that got my blood boiling just to read it.You've clearly done so much to repair things after the fact, for your kids especially, that it would be a huge stretch to consider you a "bad man" in this.You had good intentions to protect your family and those around you. I think it's unfair to put such a burden of good behaviour on yourself when you're confronted with such a disturbing situation.Thank you for sharing this Kev.
(DIR) Post #AGhfdlRAssQkzBE0ae by kev@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T13:55:24Z
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Thanks @stuts, I appreciate that.
(DIR) Post #AGhgIkIs0MbbLFskvQ by jb@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T14:02:36Z
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@kev Hmm ... I do not see a huge issue with your reaction in this situation. Just wondering in hindsight - what you thing should have been a better way to approach the situation?
(DIR) Post #AGhi5qrmUZGBqBBtdQ by bjb@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T14:22:41Z
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@kev Thanks for the account - all the good, the bad and the ugly - and how it turned out. It is definitely a situation that would be hard for almost anyone to handle without forethought and maybe even planning.You've been careful to help anyone else traumatized - you've also been traumatized and I hope you'll take care of yourself as well, and let yourself be comforted.
(DIR) Post #AGhkaNwgGl2f1sAawq by evilham@chaos.social
2022-02-21T14:50:52Z
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@kev wtf, men…While I understand why you doubt your course of action and reflecting upon it might help you in other aspects, you did the best you could in an extremely shitty situation that nobody should find themselves in.Know this shit happens. A lot.Most women I know have some story of sorts (think: perspective of the cafe ladies). Heck, it's so common, it happens in some form in Sex Education (Netflix) and the main affected person suffers from PTSD afterwards.
(DIR) Post #AGhmm50Si3vLfrduMK by kev@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T15:15:20Z
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@pabloitse @jb I don't think I would have been capable of engaging in a conversation with him. I'm nowhere near emotionally mature enough for something like that.I think the best course of action would have been to simply call the Police and let them handle it.
(DIR) Post #AGhnykARbFNalIuk5I by jb@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T15:28:47Z
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@kev The fact that you have reflected on events speaks volumes. So no need to torture yourself. I think your reaction was pretty natural. And thanks for great writeup! @pabloitse
(DIR) Post #AGhpfFxjsPWFUOo5vk by Luke@mastodon.sdf.org
2022-02-21T15:47:45Z
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@kev to be honest the guy is lucky you didn’t lamp him one. You did nothing wrong and shouldn’t feel bad for challenging someone else’s transgressive behaviour.
(DIR) Post #AGhqQk27tMImMXVAUy by andyc@pleroma.stream
2022-02-21T15:30:24.131380Z
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@kev 'He jumped, instinctively put the newspaper back over his lap and with a very innocent look on his face, said 'What, me? I’m not doing anything…'How did he manage to get his cock back in his trousers ? Wasn't it obvious ?
(DIR) Post #AGhqQka9qpWY45QLXk by kev@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T15:56:10Z
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@andyc I'm not sure he did at that point - honestly, I don't know when he put it away. He was shuffling as he left, so maybe then. I dunno.
(DIR) Post #AGhstfZFm3FEoouzvU by rudolf@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T16:23:53Z
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@kev Hi kev,The old man:I don't think you did anything wrong. You made sure he was doing what you thought, you gave him an escape route, he didn't retreat, so he is evil.Next time you might try to take a photo when sneaking up, the police would be happy with such evidence.I am quite strong so I would have twisted his arm and displayed him to the employes, evidence hanging out. But I know this approach is questionable.In any case you did it right. The police can't be everywhere.
(DIR) Post #AGhvSECTiVR1z4s7oO by adamsdesk@mastodon.technology
2022-02-21T16:52:37Z
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@kev The good part is how you reflected upon this and have humility. You can't learn without mistakes. To me you are trying to improve and that is what matters. Don't be too hard on yourself. Remember to love yourself. Thanks for the story.
(DIR) Post #AGhvWUzBFbFxCZgkNM by adamsdesk@mastodon.technology
2022-02-21T16:53:17Z
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@kev The good part is how you reflected upon this and having humility. You can't learn without mistakes. To me you are trying to improve and that is what matters. Don't be too hard on yourself. Remember to love yourself. Thanks for the story.
(DIR) Post #AGiCZ2kEPBojheUlaS by MurrayWindripper@fosstodon.org
2022-02-21T20:04:10Z
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@kevCap'n Hindsight says the cafe owners are responsible for your health, safety and welfare whilst you are there so quietly reporting the guy to a member of staff would be the correct action. If, as you suspect, he is mentally unwell he may also have been armed so caution would have been better for all.The real me admires your restraint, and the way you dealt with the aftermath.
(DIR) Post #AGic8aeWpFlvr9sHiK by technicalissues@fosstodon.org
2022-02-22T00:50:55Z
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@kev totally understand both the reaction at the time and the feelings afterwards. Thanks for sharing as it really might make a difference in how I react if ever faced with something similar. #parenting
(DIR) Post #AGjd0maar9P9fkppHk by jbb@mastodon.sdf.org
2022-02-22T12:35:23Z
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@kev Just my point of view as a father of two, you behaved exactly the way I would have. I don't think you did anything wrong at all.