Post AEqle4zAhCUJ4UnsR6 by eMarie@noagendasocial.com
(DIR) More posts by eMarie@noagendasocial.com
(DIR) Post #AEqibZvAvE52Hk3A92 by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T02:56:57Z
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I tried to post this on reddit but had my post taken down for making "moral judgments." WTF.Need a gut check here. Here is the situation:Been dating girl for one year now. Some shared interests, worldview, attraction is good.But she seems to want to keep things casual, and I feel this is kind of a waste of time for me personally.
(DIR) Post #AEqitcqEnq1MYTLWIy by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:00:12Z
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She never, ever initiates anything. I can think of only one or two times she planned a date or get-together. I have cooked numerous meals for us, planned day trips, invited her to a wedding, parties with friends, picked out movies, games, etc. I do all the "work."She says she is always working, and has on occasion even shown up with her laptop and done some work during the date. Or she's on the phone texting with family.Mind you, we've been together a whole year.
(DIR) Post #AEqj2KFNJ3OPUWFhom by Iamthebammbamm@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:01:47Z
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@deathpanels bail
(DIR) Post #AEqj2WdZEvsHv1fCC0 by hogihung@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:01:49Z
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@deathpanels I've seen this scenario before - move on.
(DIR) Post #AEqj7BuvhgTv6Z0dsW by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:02:40Z
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Worst was around the holidays. For thanksgiving, she knew I was going to be alone. She had plans to go to a family even, and only very reluctantly asked if I could come at the last minute. Family was nice, but I got the sense she didn't really want me there, she just felt guilty.For Christmas, she was out of town for over a week, then said she was sick and working and I only saw her maybe twice in all of December. Finally saw her on Xmas eve. I got her a gift and she got me nothing.
(DIR) Post #AEqjFMe7hJHwhG2sZU by houseoftolstoy@paypig.org
2021-12-28T03:04:10Z
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@deathpanels A year should be long enough to know if you want to be serious. What you need to find out next is if she wants to be serious. Have you discussed long term goals for a relationship (e.g. marriage or not, kids or not)? If you are worried that this might scare her off, don't be. If she gets scared because you want to make sure the relationship is serious, then you just found the answer you needed. Or if she agrees, you just got what you wanted too. It works well either way.
(DIR) Post #AEqjLLspRkUe4ImMV6 by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:05:05Z
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I'm not a big gift-giving person, I didn't give her jewelry or anything fancy, just a few small things I knew she would like. I didn't expect anything elaborate, even something very small would have been nice. Instead, she seemed surprised that I got her anything at all... and was totally unprepared.She then backtracked and said she was just so busy she hadn't had time to order my gift. So she ordered something that day.. and now she has something for me.Same pattern, repeating...
(DIR) Post #AEqjV0mqjmcrXDaXqK by TikToc@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:06:57Z
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@deathpanels -- Possibly, she is dating other guys at the same time as you.From your other posts, She sounds like what I would call a fair-weather friend. When the going gets hard, they disappear.Sorry to hear this. If you want more in a relationship, then you should start thinking about dating other people.
(DIR) Post #AEqjWKFhqopyCAiEZE by houseoftolstoy@paypig.org
2021-12-28T03:07:14Z
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@deathpanels Did not see the other parts. Not looking quite as good here. But what I say still stands. Maybe it will apply better for a different woman.For me, it took less than a year to know that I wanted to marry my wife. So the time frame is not too short for you to know. You know better than anyone here does. Do what is best for your future.
(DIR) Post #AEqjYtssLNdzHhGGC8 by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:07:41Z
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It seems pretty clear to me that I'm not that important to her. It's more of a casual relationship to her. I still only really see her once a week at most.I'm not exactly mad about any of this, but just kind of realizing there is no future here, and I just need to decide when I'm going to pull the plug. I really don't want to spend 5 years dating someone who doesn't even *think* to invite me to Thanksgiving or buy me a christmas present. God forbid I marry someone like that.
(DIR) Post #AEqjfCwyMyFM9dBYMi by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:08:50Z
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But I'm also a relationship-quitter.. I don't believe that relationships can or should be resuscitated if they're dying. If they cannot survive on their own merits, then relationships should just end naturally. I guess I'm just not sure when to end this one.
(DIR) Post #AEqjlwUNyBkR811cq8 by Iamthebammbamm@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:10:01Z
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@deathpanels now.
(DIR) Post #AEqjz8h5u3xGkJGKDQ by VeddyBadAng@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:12:25Z
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@deathpanels I’m going to channel my 90s bulletin boards here: Dump. Her. Seriously though, you are young, you gave it your best shot. You’re giving 100%, she’s taking 100%. It’s not an equal relationship. You deserve more. You deserve a woman who cares about you as much as you care about her.
(DIR) Post #AEqk5FichNNCGntOiW by dax@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:13:31Z
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@deathpanels if she doesn’t want you enough to make an effort when you stop making an effort, she doesn’t really want you. If casual is ok for you, enjoy it for what it is. Otherwise move on with your life: everyone deserves to find someone who wants them as much as they are wanted.
(DIR) Post #AEqk5vLLwHiNMnKPHE by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:13:39Z
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@VeddyBadAng I'm not that young.. I'm going to be 37 in two weeks. Oh, and I'm sure she'll forget that it's my birthday. :D
(DIR) Post #AEqkBOfGLq4JkiFasK by SirDanielT@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:14:38Z
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@deathpanels I’m gonna be blunt. Just move on. One year in and expecting change won’t happen. Focus on yourself. If you could read what you wrote from a strangers perspective you’d probably take yourself the same thing.
(DIR) Post #AEqkCiN0ZWBp9qLAo4 by Evenkeeld@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:14:52Z
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@deathpanels a year and no present at Christmas? Here's your sign.
(DIR) Post #AEqkEWMAD23wTeo52W by WidowGarrett@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:15:13Z
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@deathpanels 🙏🏻❤️🕯
(DIR) Post #AEqkEpvxQAz3CAhQy8 by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:15:14Z
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@dax Yeah toning it down to more casual at least would be my next move. No more sleep overs, make other plans for the weekend, maybe see her once during the week or every other week tops.
(DIR) Post #AEqkRFnP5nf6sccTXU by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:17:30Z
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BTW it's interesting to me that this rant was banned on reddit. I cannot think of a good reason why... I am guessing some woketard admin decided I was a "misogynist" because I was saying something critical about a woman. Fuck reddit.
(DIR) Post #AEqkTDl9dOLx8yVOyG by VeddyBadAng@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:17:52Z
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@deathpanels That’s still somewhat young? Dating timeframes compress as you get older. Dating someone for 4 years in your early 20s equates to 1 year in your late 30s. If you feel it’s not going anywhere, it’s probably not. She just doesn’t seem that into you. And that’s ok. Find someone who is into you. I know, easier said than done…
(DIR) Post #AEqkbthBbKqhWSmpTk by VeddyBadAng@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:19:26Z
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@deathpanels And good luck - I feel your pain! I don’t mean to sound flippant. It’s a big decision to end a relationship. I hope you find love and happiness.
(DIR) Post #AEqkcTuYx4wJqNK1KK by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:19:33Z
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@VeddyBadAng Honestly it might be time for me to declare myself "done" with dating and just accept that I am not going to have a partner or a family.
(DIR) Post #AEql5FgOvpdK74Ptw0 by amerika@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:24:42Z
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@deathpanels https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_duhhVa-dk8
(DIR) Post #AEql9o9uh0neCGOS5Q by dax@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:25:33Z
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@deathpanels exactly, focus on doing things in life as if she wasn’t around (in other words, for you, on your terms) - and if she wants to join you that’s a bonus. If not, her loss.
(DIR) Post #AEqlARIn9w4hb5qaq8 by amerika@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:25:40Z
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@deathpanels If you're looking for marriage, and she just wants to fill her time until something better comes along, there's no better time to get out than immediately. Incompatible goals all the way.
(DIR) Post #AEqlPM1l3L4Ha7zYDA by VeddyBadAng@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:28:22Z
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@deathpanels I hope that’s not the case - maybe it won’t happen with this lady, but it will with someone else in the future.
(DIR) Post #AEqlaEw5l6bom1X3aq by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:30:20Z
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@dax Pretty major loss for her...
(DIR) Post #AEqle4zAhCUJ4UnsR6 by eMarie@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:30:59Z
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@deathpanels It sounds like a relationship of convenience for her, which in the end only creates a situation where she’s taking advantage of you (whether intentional or not.) It doesn’t sound like there’s anything there that’s a recipe for a long-term, sustaining relationship. You can’t be the only one putting in effort. The whole holiday situation should be your nail in the coffin of the relationship. I would end it sooner rather than later. Save yourself any prolonged trouble!
(DIR) Post #AEqltAZKDhy4jNuS6C by Timboslice@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:33:44Z
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@deathpanels I am sorry but hitting eject now seems logical
(DIR) Post #AEqmOJAGJMHoMq2Cci by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:39:21Z
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@eMarie That was my feeling.. I am not a fan of big loud holiday parties or traditional ceremony, in fact I kind of complain about them a lot, but getting even like a card and some chocolates from your SO is to me a 100% given on Xmas, v-day, and birthdays.
(DIR) Post #AEqmR2Qkz4thKw3GIS by WidowGarrett@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:39:52Z
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@deathpanels Find someone that reciprocates your efforts. The right person will make you feel loved and respected, even if you're not a “couple”. This person you described seems less than ideal as a friend much less a mate. 🍀
(DIR) Post #AEqmc0e3xjaKz7VURc by soretski@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T03:41:51Z
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@deathpanels @VeddyBadAng I remember when I was 37, and dumped a girl 'playing the field'. I spent a year sorting myself out because I loved her and she obviously didn't love me. The next girl loved me. That was 17 years ago, and we'll likely die together, as it should be.
(DIR) Post #AEqoU593Y278X5LqoC by soretski@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T04:02:45Z
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@deathpanels @VeddyBadAng and not just me, a lot of people at your age.Boy, I remember a good friend of mine, a shy guy, always lived in his brother's shadow. His brother killed himself, he stepped out (like kafka's metamorphosis), met a great girl almost instantly. Has a happy family now.My point is that women can smell when a guy has his shit together. If you don't, you'll attract one kind, but when you sort yourself out, a good woman will find you.
(DIR) Post #AEqpaI4KVi8CJ4fI4e by Viking@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T04:15:09Z
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@deathpanels My friend, this looks like a skewed relationship, something which is inevitable when one partner has more feelings than the other.It might be too late, or you might have to much bitterness by now and thus no real desire for her to change, but this calls for applying the golden ratio, rule number 5:https://heartiste.org/2008/07/08/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/My advice would be to treat this like an open relationship for now, and make yourself scarce.
(DIR) Post #AEqpnBrCusyqo2g6gi by Devilfiddledbetter@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T04:17:30Z
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@deathpanels I've had this relationship...both ways... Either end it clean or talk to her saying it's not working because of what you are saying here, there is a chance she doesn't realize you're in a relationship and maybe would step up. You do not seem to like being in a relationship a few days a week so toning it down is just wasting both your time.
(DIR) Post #AEqsdbBEDAZMJJA1pY by CattleBaron@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T04:49:23Z
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@deathpanels I don't know know much about this stuff, but I know someone who is at least familiar with relationship thingies...@deathpanels is probably not expecting expert advice (I reckon that's not possible without understanding the situation)...but still... What do you you @Ranchwifey ?
(DIR) Post #AEqsgsMamTHKTL2TE8 by tj@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T04:49:55Z
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@deathpanels So this was announced on last Thursday's NA - https://fedifinder.com/about/It's supposed to be a No Agenda dating site. You can be a test subject!
(DIR) Post #AEqskMCoHhnTtY7hy4 by CattleBaron@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T04:50:36Z
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@deathpanels I don't know know much about this stuff, but I know someone who is at least familiar with relationship thingies...@deathpanels is probably not expecting expert advice (I reckon that's not possible without understanding the situation)...but still... What do you say @Ranchwifey ?
(DIR) Post #AEqtpVWbACCwCSOnHU by thekatatonic@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T05:02:45Z
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@deathpanels dump her before taking birth control becomes not-so-important-to-her and she traps your ass. If it does happen, I know you will be a really great dad.
(DIR) Post #AEqvSoTwiN98F6SrfU by CoramDeo@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T05:21:00Z
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@WidowGarrett @deathpanels Too much concentration by people about girlfriend or boyfriend without the friend part. Master one, then move on to the next part. If you missed a step start over. Before you even start, though, step back, take a year off, and be your own best friend. then you'll figure out what you are looking for, or the one you are looking for will try and hit you in the mouth. In that case, you are well prepared. 😉
(DIR) Post #AErFAVCtdcrUKi2HdQ by TheCM@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T09:01:44Z
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@deathpanels @dax yeeeeaaaah, I'd let this one go. Dont even downgrade, just cut it off. First, the effort you are putting in deserves respect and reciprocation which she clearly has no space for. Second, if she's too busy to do something as simple as getting you an xmas gift, that says a lot. Put your effort into someone who will see what you are putting on the table. Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words.
(DIR) Post #AErP38M5CY2myRSRoe by MartinDeLaToot@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-28T10:52:34Z
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@VeddyBadAng @deathpanels this chick is putting zero effort into you now. Fast forward 5 years and you’re married with a kid. What’s her commitment to that situation?If you’re not happy now, you’re damned sure not going to be happy then.You need to drop this girl like a 3 foot putt.
(DIR) Post #AEv4f6MBl5M1NKbtNQ by Ranchwifey@itmslaves.com
2021-12-29T22:04:05Z
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@CattleBaron @deathpanels I would just "rip it off like a bandaid." Why wait any longer? What are the benefits to prolonging the break up? What are the benefits of doing it asap? Life is too short to waste time with people who could care less.
(DIR) Post #AEv4f6nq6HTKl5XyTY by deathpanels@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-30T05:22:56Z
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@Ranchwifey @CattleBaron I plan to break it off with her and also quit my job very soon.
(DIR) Post #AEvpCSamhjWdmjHXYu by CattleBaron@noagendasocial.com
2021-12-30T14:04:26Z
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@deathpanels @Ranchwifey best of luck on your new journey. Do you have another job lined up?
(DIR) Post #AEvrVNGcvXS6gD03rE by MMA@freeatlantis.com
2021-12-30T14:30:14Z
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@deathpanels @MMA I am similar to you in that I invest in relationships.Relationships are mutual. From what you've shared I do not see mutuality; I see one person pursuing a relationship and one person who is doing 'friends with benefits'.Any more time or focus on this person closes you off to a real relationship.The question is, are you choosing to be with an unavailable woman because you aren't really available yourself?If you are available, leave immediately.If not, then own it.