Post A9jetRj8uBDo0xDIQa by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
 (DIR) More posts by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
 (DIR) Post #A9hoFIJ37g9OREa74C by meghanmurphy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T06:27:16.636714Z
       
       4 likes, 0 repeats
       
       There is a difference between theory and how we actually approach real life and real people, and, in that sense, radical feminism has developed a rather ironic problem. https://www.feministcurrent.com/2021/07/26/radical-feminism-has-a-humanity-problem/
       
 (DIR) Post #A9hrEMfnhW01YTTIWG by BCLADY@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T07:00:43.498240Z
       
       4 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @meghanmurphy SOMETIMES I THINK WOMEN TRY TO COMPENSATE AGAINST THEIR SOCIALISATION BY GETTING MEANER. THIS COMBINED WITH THE INTENSE EMOTIONS AROUND THE NEW KNOWLEDGE OF HOW SHIT WOMEN ARE TREATED PLUS EJECTING MEN FROM THEIR LIVES MAKES IT SO THEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO TAKE THESE EMOTIONS OUT ON OTHER WOMEN BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND MEN. ALSO PEOPLE TALK A LOT OF SHIT ONLINE. PART OF ME RESPECTS THE HARDLINERS, BECAUSE THE NONBUGERS MOVE THE CONCEPT OF NORMALITY OVER CLOSER TO LESS OPPRESSION FOR WOMEN IF THE NONBUGERS DO STUFF LIKE DON'T WEAR MAKEUP AND TALK STRAIGHT INSTEAD OF TRYING TO CATER TO OTHERS EMOTIONS, ANOTHER PART GETS ME EXHAUSTED. IT'S SORT OF LIKE HOW I'M THANKFUL TO HARD CORE VEGANS BECAUSE NOW I KNOW THAT CHOCOLATE SOYMILK IS A THING AND IT IS SO GOOD, BUT IT ONLY EXISTS BECAUSE PEOPLE DEDICATED THEIR LIVES TO HATING COW MILK. I WONDER HOW MUCH OF THIS IS AN ONLINE PEOPLE HAVE A HUMANITY PROBLEM, JUST CHANNELED INTO RADFEM STUFF?AND HOW MUCH HAS GOTTEN WORSE SINCE EVERYONE HAS BEEN ONLINE FOR COVID. GOOD THING I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HUMANITY I'M A HAMSTER!
       
 (DIR) Post #A9ihRIDskm9Z8Ltml6 by meghanmurphy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T16:45:42.946424Z
       
       2 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @BCLADY I think you're right that a lot of women try to compensate against their socialization by getting meaner. I think I probably did this when I was younger.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9itklrDzoFhznM5KK by BCLADY@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T19:03:41.862117Z
       
       0 likes, 1 repeats
       
       @meghanmurphy WOW!I DIDN'T SCARE YOU AWAY!YEAH, IT'S HARD TO BE DIRECT AND ASSERTIVE WHEN YOU'RE FIGHTING A SOCIALISED IMPULSE TO CARE TAKE FOR OTHERS. ANYWAYS, DO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN USE YOUR NEW FOUND POWERS TO HARNESS MAN SCALPS FOR ME FOR THE GOOD OF FEMINISM?I NEED THEM SCALPS!
       
 (DIR) Post #A9iuhrH5UyQlskcxgu by Fullycaffeinated@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T19:14:22.593467Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @BCLADY @meghanmurphy JFC, Hammy, you kill me! 🤣
       
 (DIR) Post #A9iwUhlrimGwYDsZjk by EmmyNoether@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T19:21:59.552041Z
       
       2 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @Fullycaffeinated @BCLADY @meghanmurphy It’s interesting you mention getting older Meghan.I’m post-menopausal, and one of the (few) delights of the menopause is you no longer give a shit, which does sometimes make me wonder how much of “be nice” is actually driven by oestrogen/oxytocin.It’s immensely liberating.It also gets misinterpreted by other people as being too hard, or too crotchety, or unkind, or hard line.Really it’s not.  It’s simply a case of not giving a shit.But if (most young men) you’re used to being put on a pedestal and suddenly a woman says “you know what, I can’t be bothered”, this probably does come across as aggressive/unkind/hard-line.I suspect exactly the same behaviour in men is totally routine and goes utterly unremarked on.Of course socialisation plays a massive role.Women, from their earliest years, are met with the exortation “Be kind.”Men are met with the exortation “Don’t be a dick.”I think a morality built round “don’t be a dick” is much healthier - no self-abnegation required, just a baseline respect for others, but not at the expense of your own emotional and psychological well-being.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9j5CLwL36o9Da6NCC by harpyharpyharpy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T16:58:03.580560Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @meghanmurphy It is clear that you are not (or no longer are) a radical feminist. Everything you describe as unacceptable is the “radical” part. It is simply a fact that heterosexual women are more likely to accept less from men, more likely to be invested in the status quo and less capable of changing it. The reason for this is because of their sexual proximity to and emotional dependence on men. This isn’t controversial— only liberal feminism would call it sexist to point out that many women are DEFINITELY brainwashed. I say this as a heterosexual woman who has enormous trouble reconciling my relationship with what I know to be true about this world and about men. It makes sense that you wouldn’t like radical feminism because you are clearly a liberal feminist. As for this: “ Being a nice or good guy doesn’t require a specific politic.” — it’s just a lie.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9j5IkaQKKAVOZtyee by harpyharpyharpy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T17:04:30.054408Z
       
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       @meghanmurphy “Women are brought up to conform: all the rules of femininity—dress, behavior, attitude—essentially break the spirit. Women are trained to need men, not sexually but metaphysically. Women are brought up to be the void that needs filling, the absence that needs presence. Women are brought up to fear men and to know that they must please men and to understand that they cannot survive without the help of men richer and stronger than they can be themselves, on their own.” - Andrea Dworkin
       
 (DIR) Post #A9j5IlCi1ynFJJoYKW by harpyharpyharpy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T17:46:12.378380Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @meghanmurphy There’s so much more to be said, especially about the political import of living with, having sex with and loving members of the class that oppresses you. A friend’s mother married a total louse in 1971. After they were divorced I asked her why she had married him in the first place. She said “It was 1971 in rural South Carolina. That’s the type of man that was available.” We are all limited in our personal choice to the men that are available in our society today. This does NOT mean that the men are categorically good or decent, or that we don’t make real sacrifices when we put up with their sexism (such as porn use). It makes sense to make concessions in the interest of having a fuller, more engaged life. It does NOT make sense to dilute an essential political viewpoint in the interest of making compromise more palatable. I’m sorry if you are annoyed by these “attacks” from radfems. But heretofore I have greatly respected you and your work and I believe you are making an honest mistake here.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jA3VzSoPspYNAWOG by BCLADY@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T22:06:22.106608Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @Fullycaffeinated @meghanmurphy WELL IF YOU ARE DEAD AND AN ORGAN DONAOR, I'LL GET YOUR SCALP.SOON I SHALL BE COVERED IN GLORIOUS, GLORIUS HAIR!AND I WILL NEED BRUSHES.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jAAxim6l2vaOuiWG by Kate_Williamson@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T20:25:29.176307Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @BCLADY hilarious!
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jeoDvKnYSVkwQSRs by meghanmurphy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T03:50:57.754620Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @EmmyNoether @Fullycaffeinated @BCLADY I'm not phony or overly nice. Of course as I've gotten older I've become more assertive and can't be bothered to suck up to people. I end up coming across as snobbish or bitchy to plenty of people as a result and don't super care. That's a totally different thing than what I'm talking about. I'm talking about overt misogyny and dehumanization.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jesYJMwIvQ95jR7Q by Mariposa@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T18:15:58.440752Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @meghanmurphy YOU are the one who sexualized the criticism of you. You are the one who flirted with a man on youtube, called him your internet boyfriend, and then defended him when he taunted feminists by ridiculing the Nordic model, and lied saying those women were trying to get him thrown off twitter.No one criticized you for being heterosexual; they criticized you for your behavior as a "pick me."
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jesYuEjEPpzQysaG by meghanmurphy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T03:51:44.324905Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @Mariposa lol ok yeah def not the women calling me a ball palmer. Flirting is not a bad thing you weirdo.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jetRj8uBDo0xDIQa by AbolishPregnancy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-27T18:14:55.328229Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @meghanmurphy I feel this. My first day here someone was calling all men scum, I said that’s not okay and got mobbed as a handmaid/“ball-palmer.” There have been troubling comments since then but that one sticks out.It’s possible they saw me as a troll who made an account just to scold them, but is it that bad to give a little benefit of the doubt?It seems as though submission and kindness have become confused with each other, and people think basic decency is in actuality going along with misogyny. What I don’t understand is when they encouraged women to speak their minds, to be bold, why did they think the same women wouldn’t say so if they disagreed with radfems? If you tell me to say what I think, then I will, and that includes if I think shaving isn’t inherently bad or we need male allies.Which we do. The more dedicated people you have in your movement, the more likely it is to succeed and its goals will become part of the culture. That’s just a fact. Being unable to do everything on our own like every other fallible human doesn’t mean we’re weak or need men to be strong patriarchal protectors. People with a common desire need each other.It also is frustrating that radfems think men should just magically know things like porn is dehumanizing. How can you ostracize people from your spaces and then expect them to understand you or do what you want? “It’s not our job to educate you,” well it kind of is. If you want someone to comprehend, you’ll have to inconvenience yourself and do a bit of explaining. They can do their own research but if you really want the light to turn on, help get them started.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jevmgfwkP9bIAsDI by meghanmurphy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T03:52:19.554973Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @harpyharpyharpy a mistake about what?
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jf4gbRwADHKvyUhk by meghanmurphy@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T03:53:56.006162Z
       
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       @harpyharpyharpy I never identified as a radical feminist. Also, heterosexual women are like 95% of women. So idk, if heterosexuality compromises women then I guess radical feminism should probs accommodate for that.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jfziVLXWMPjyJY6y by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T04:04:14.765225Z
       
       0 likes, 1 repeats
       
       @BCLADY @meghanmurphy Another INTENSE evening of scalp herding!
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jgAiKcWV0sOCXc4u by Fullycaffeinated@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T04:06:14.007394Z
       
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       @Hollahollara @BCLADY @meghanmurphy You forgot the moon. And also previous identities.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jgIugqSUdT2EqXFQ by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T04:07:42.901332Z
       
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       @Fullycaffeinated @BCLADY @meghanmurphy Sadly, I was not consulted for that entry, bc I would have reminded the writer of the Indigo Shrimp Spalax season
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jgZVWpGJ2Dv94YzY by Fullycaffeinated@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T04:10:42.682392Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @Hollahollara @BCLADY Oh, sorry, I thought you had done it. Any clue who did?
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jgq4dOVTVxQv2oJU by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T04:13:42.466574Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @Fullycaffeinated @BCLADY There is not much on the wiki yet, but that one tickled me.**Needs more screaming.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jiNIffRJO0TfVzXM by Lilitu@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T04:28:14.137401Z
       
       2 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @EmmyNoether @Fullycaffeinated @BCLADY @meghanmurphy I think I know what she’s talking about, and it’s different from just not being nicey-nice.I am not anyone’s definition of “nice.” Fair or decent, sure, and I’d hope so, but “nice” is not a word used to describe me. I’m straight to the point, openly give no fucks, etc. I think a lot of us are like that around here, and I have many good conversations with similarly fair-but-not-nice women. I’m totally cool with that in myself and other women.But I have definitely met women — and they do tend to be younger — who are outright mean or cruel as an over-compensation for their poor self-esteem, or having not dealt with their trauma yet. Who look for a fight, who attack people, etc.There’s a difference between being confident and being mean. And I think women who are still flailing to find a way to empower themselves can tip over to outrightly mean.I think these women are often in need of help. But I also think as a movement we need to have a discussion about it and how we handle it — and honestly just how we handle supporting each other in dealing with trauma in general.There tends to just be this assumption that once we find feminism it just cures us of what ails us and we’re fine from there. In reality, we take our baggage with us, and if we aren’t mindful of how we carry it, we wind up pushing it into our movement as well. That’s honestly true of every movement that advocates for the marginalized. Most of the people who are the most passionate about it have also been profoundly affected by it, and we need a better discussion about how we care for ourselves and each other in light of that.
       
 (DIR) Post #A9jo9YVON39HG1XQJs by BCLADY@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-28T05:35:39.764833Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @Hollahollara @Fullycaffeinated YOU KNOW IT WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN BECAUSE IT'S CLEARLY NOT SAYING ENOUGH ABOUT SCALPS!
       
 (DIR) Post #A9pb1XvhOr23r71I0m by FloozyDarlington@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-30T22:06:10.656045Z
       
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       @Hollahollara @BCLADY @meghanmurphy Hey I see that you're using Brave now hahaha how you enjoying it? You made any sweet bank yet?
       
 (DIR) Post #A9pb1YUnIN6ZbxRJiK by Hollahollara@spinster.xyz
       2021-07-31T00:36:48.105673Z
       
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       @FloozyDarlington @BCLADY @meghanmurphyHa! I like Brave. It stopped crashing on me, too! Whatever Bitcoin is being earned is going to Spinster, iirc.