Post A6sAXc7jiIoZEUvv4C by Justwanttobreathe@spinster.xyz
 (DIR) More posts by Justwanttobreathe@spinster.xyz
 (DIR) Post #A6rK5r1VWqIBiaSgVs by GalacticTurtle@spinster.xyz
       2021-05-03T03:01:00.140888Z
       
       4 likes, 0 repeats
       
       This whole Billie Eilish vogue cover thing just has me thinking about all through high school everyone around me was wondering when I would "blossom." I think that was slightly before "glow up" entered the popular vernacular. And even though I pretended not to think anything of it, getting squeezed into various prom dresses sucked. Having my hair get unnaturally warped sucked. Having even employees at the shoe store look at me pitifully trying to balance myself in heels sucked. Having skin picked off my hands just to get my nails done sucked. People getting frustrated with me for cutting off any sign of male advances sucked. 16th birthday, junior prom, senior prom, graduation, all the make it or break it chances to "blossom" and it was always deemed a failure. It didn't matter how well I did in my truckload of AP classes or that I got into my first choice college or that I had made it back on the lacrosse team after recovering from a major knee surgery. It didn't matter that I knew, in quite great detail, what I wanted to do with at least the next ten years of my life. Everyone is just wondering why Turtle isn't "blossoming." And my desire to "blossom" or not sure didn't change between being 17 years old and being 18 years old. The only thing that grew was the guilt I felt for not putting any effort into being pretty the way others wanted me to be pretty. And I really didn't dig my way out of those feelings until I was done with college.So I can only imagine what it's like having all those years take place in the spotlight. I hope Billie has some genuinely good people around her.
       
 (DIR) Post #A6rRYfHww8uvOspyro by BCLADY@spinster.xyz
       2021-05-03T04:25:37.424471Z
       
       3 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @GalacticTurtle I LIKE YOUR WORDS TURTLE. YOU GLOW ALREADY, YOU DIDN'T NEED TO GLOW UP. OTHERS NEED TO GROW UP.
       
 (DIR) Post #A6rRZ0BzDVcoETD0zI by ObligateSpinster@spinster.xyz
       2021-05-03T04:08:42.274542Z
       
       3 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @GalacticTurtle I felt much of the same way at that age.I think most of my friend circle just classified me as weird. So there wasn't much pressure as yours. I still tire of the boyfriend question. I completely accept that my friends want to marry and settle down and have kids. I wish they would accept that I don't want the same.
       
 (DIR) Post #A6rRblg1dqG659Zv3A by BCLADY@spinster.xyz
       2021-05-03T04:26:11.121731Z
       
       3 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @ObligateSpinster @GalacticTurtle I LIKE WEIRDOS. THERE ARE BENEFITS TO BEING WEIRD.
       
 (DIR) Post #A6rTuHe5ikuMLud8mO by Frau_BerchDUH@spinster.xyz
       2021-05-03T03:29:41.750702Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @GalacticTurtle Poor Billie. I defied any attempt at getting me to "blossom" (just the term makes me want to puke), and was lucky that my dad was fine with me being different (I didn't get along with my mom, and she gave up on me pretty early). Your story is giving me chills, I'm sorry you were exposed to that nonsense! I always HATED being referred to like I was a show dog being prepped for the spotlight and breeding. ECCCHHHH!!!!! I like the concept of "glow up", wish it were around sooner.
       
 (DIR) Post #A6sAXc7jiIoZEUvv4C by Justwanttobreathe@spinster.xyz
       2021-05-03T09:11:11.841172Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @GalacticTurtle it's an expectation you're supposed internalize in childhood or early teens. Among many. Think about it, imagine it, prepare yourself, so when the time comes you can effortlessly fulfill your natural destiny and feel empowered because at long last people don't treat you like you're defected or underdeveloped. If you don't read between the lines and just take it at a face value that one day it will happen all by itself, it won't.
       
 (DIR) Post #A6sAXcV8JJWuP3sbXE by GalacticTurtle@spinster.xyz
       2021-05-03T12:48:04.434461Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @Justwanttobreathe Precisely. I could probably come up with a list a mile long of all the things I thought were supposed to just suddenly happen to me once I hit a certain age that just... never did. So to this day I'm still squinting at people wondering if they're intentionally putting on an act or if to them it feels like everything is coming about naturally.