Post A5dfGcvJXmZRrhaDAm by Llio@spinster.xyz
 (DIR) More posts by Llio@spinster.xyz
 (DIR) Post #A5dfGcvJXmZRrhaDAm by Llio@spinster.xyz
       2021-03-27T13:08:58.909607Z
       
       0 likes, 0 repeats
       
       I've tried to learn how to do makeup in the past. It was hard, it took practice. Months later, for the first time I applied foundation right, it spread nicely, made my skin look so much better, and since I've always have bad skin it made me look prettier. I looked in the mirror and got this uncanny feeling. It was just some light foundation, so nothing drastically changed, but I couldn't help feeling that the face I saw in the mirror was not mine. It felt like I was trying to cover my face which made me so angry, "why am I trying to cover my face?"I've never touched any makeup products since then and I'm not doing it ever again.I didn't turn to makeup because of peer pressure, what happened was that I'd been very low for a long time, any educational or financial gain would be difficult to obtain, while it seemed easy enough to lose weight and learn to do makeup, which I thought was some sort of personal improvement. Is it really any personal improvement though? I don't think so. I was content with not looking attractive when my life was on the right track, and long before that I was fine until society convinced me that I looked wrong. Now I'm content again.
       
 (DIR) Post #A5dfGdHIE49SxrrlQm by Zaatar@spinster.xyz
       2021-03-27T13:48:47.531545Z
       
       1 likes, 0 repeats
       
       @Llio I didn’t turn to makeup because of peer pressure, what happened was that I’d been very low for a long time, any educational or financial gain would be difficult to obtain, while it seemed easy enough to lose weight and learn to do makeup, which I thought was some sort of personal improvement.Make-up might seem like it’s at least something we can control when we feel like there’s too much in our life which we don’t have any control over. And these things don’t always have to be healthy or good for us, more like a coping mechanism (even if there are more unhealthy forms of coping mechanisms, in my opinion, but still).I used to wear a little make-up for years, now I don’t wear any of it anymore and I feel like I’m much more looking like myself, feeling more like myself than a version of me that looks like how the society wants me to see.