Post A422PgYJdTcOa5FffM by Teeeye81@social.quodverum.com
(DIR) More posts by Teeeye81@social.quodverum.com
(DIR) Post #A3z6iIvXW13D9WMu92 by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T03:32:17Z
0 likes, 12 repeats
THREADI have a few obnoxious neighbors. My wife used to voice her disdain for them. Often. Across The Way Couple is LOUD. About everything. They yell when they argue. He screams when he sneezes - like he taking riot sandbags to the gut. Next Door Pig makes messes in front of his house and gives dirty looks to people in passing. Another stares at everyone through the bars of his house grating. And I love them. And they me, and mine. I made family out of the lot of them.Moreover...
(DIR) Post #A3z7TDFcR8zl9u80Aq by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T03:40:46Z
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My neighbors are ALL watchful over us - fiercely protective. My kids are treated like THEIRS, and they all worry that we're naive about security.Any stranger sniffing around our house gets questioned - by whomever is around at the time.They worry when I park my bike the "wrong way". Angry Pig came and put HIS chain on my bike, locked it and threw the key into my door crack. Nice, huh?That was the product of a hundred de-escalations and REFUSING TO TAKE OFFENSE. AT ANYTHING.
(DIR) Post #A3z82nrqI0KwrGyg1Q by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T03:47:12Z
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It was a campaign, one my wife disagreed with - in theory. Too many BAD WHAT-IFS to consider. Fucking negative imaginations.Over time she caught on as, one by one, my neighbors started behaving like close siblings. It began with INTENSE UNILATERAL RESPECT. Which later became mutual.Trust eventually blossomed from that respect, which then later bore fruit as LOVE.
(DIR) Post #A3z8RWDn2ABFMz1pvU by Lolosmom@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T03:51:39Z
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@StevenDouglas Steven, this was an interesting thread to me because my next door neighbor washes his compost garbage can in my driveway, he spits, although not always in front of my house, but in middle of street, he's accidentally backed over my succulent garden with his car.. I've often been VERY upset with him but have never confronted. MAYBE I need to do as you do and NOT take offense at anything. I'd probably save myself a lot of frustration.
(DIR) Post #A3z8TDLCCbUfOMIjY0 by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T03:51:58Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
I come from AN OBNOXIOUS FAMILY. It's not a new condition for me. Ten of us, all different, all representative of real life. We behaved as if we HATED EACH OTHER growing up. And all that is gone now. We couldn't be closer if we tried. I know from experience what lines MUST be established, and which can NEVER be crossed.Mostly, I know the POWER of good will, de-escalation, and returning good for evil. I WILL TAKE THE BLOWS THAT NEVER SEEM TO COME.So my guard is forever down.
(DIR) Post #A3z8y833vh2JxFYovg by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T03:57:33Z
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Next Door Pig is now the CLEANEST neighbor. I couldn't clean HIS messes. That would be a line crossed. Big no-no. But I COULD sweep the entire alleyway here and there, and ASK HIM IF HE MINDED. "Sure. No problem."Problem ended. He just painted his front gate and is very anal retentive about ANY little thing out of order. Loud Across The Way Couple cut their fights down to once a week or so. He still Explode Sneezes, but everyone - including him - laughs about it.
(DIR) Post #A3z9TGOOxKsUoKO78q by Grammy@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:03:10Z
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@StevenDouglas I can vouch for people not being able to control their sneezes. Mine are pitiful little achoo and i usually have to sneeze half a dozen times. Can't seem to do anything else. He probably only has to do one!
(DIR) Post #A3z9lMEbyRig8sR8ee by Joycevor@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:06:25Z
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@StevenDouglas Oldest of 8. Laughing. One of my sisters who lurks here says "I love him" when I mentioned you.
(DIR) Post #A3z9rcJf62InktmeOW by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:07:34Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
Little snacky food offerings here and there (TO EVERYONE - NOBODY IS SPECIAL) has turned into random pot luck offerings from everyone to everyone else: Now that we all know that it's welcome, and a good idea. Mr. Stares-A-Lot now leaves his gate open. He still stares, but now it lacks any kind of creepy element. Likewise Resting Bitch Face may not have meant to give anyone a dirty look. Doesn't matter. She's relaxed and lightened up. A lot. And we all look after each other now.
(DIR) Post #A3zAEdeaI1w8Z1Y0ci by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:11:44Z
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LOVE: Respect begets Trust begets Love. In that order. Best recipe ever.And NOT without someone willing to take some blows and other offenses along the way. Small potatoes, I expect them and it costs me nothing.And it's not that you don't return the offense. You just don't return them IN LIKE KIND.ENDBefore I get really preachy.
(DIR) Post #A3zAp2LTxmj7ZMy7hQ by macoman4u1@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:18:19Z
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@StevenDouglas Lord have mercy. Literally. What a thread!
(DIR) Post #A3zArxcPzgoxmJHhj6 by huntley@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:18:51Z
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@StevenDouglas Honey not vinegar.When we moved into our home we started monthly BBQ on our driveway.One by one a neighbor would inquire. Wine and beer.15 years later we know *everyone*. Summer potlucks are a Big Deal.
(DIR) Post #A3zAw8X3MNQGmflZp2 by DonnaLea@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:19:36Z
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@StevenDouglas That was spectacular 👏 👏 👏
(DIR) Post #A3zBYyD7fWGu4Axf4S by Dodgerprincess@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:26:37Z
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@StevenDouglas you are a truly decent man. I am glad I stalked you here from twat.
(DIR) Post #A3zBdTdKmW10gGN2A4 by oystergirl@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:27:25Z
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@StevenDouglas Steven, as a child of an EXTREMELY Passionate family, I appreciate your sentiment. It's the way to go in life! Boundaries are important but hard steel walls only beget attacks. Thanks for showing the way for those around you!
(DIR) Post #A3zBeX5xOeX5hrGJIe by haithabu@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:27:38Z
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@StevenDouglas Really good approach. Not because it worked but because it's right.Showing respect for people is not about who they are, it's about who you are.
(DIR) Post #A3zBsQhHyqzBuyLmWe by Jaime@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:30:07Z
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@StevenDouglas Love it!! The nicknames had me cracking up. There is no help for the neighbor who’s yard butts up to ours.He’s a full blown wacko. My hedges are at least 12 feet high. I avoid seeing him at all costs. You can’t win them all. We should add to your neighbor thread. That would be hilarious.❤️
(DIR) Post #A3zC7Ib8NLtn8sYswC by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:32:50Z
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@Lolosmom When someone is in the middle of an offense (like washing their shit in your driveway), that's when to walk out and CONFRONT THEM. With something really relaxed, and cool, and completely unrelated to what they're doing.Leave them with a good feeling.People who respect, trust and love you are ultimately (and utterly) self-policing. AND, sometimes they're just oblivious to what constitutes good manners. Culturally. Their upbringing. And so what. Most of it's not important.
(DIR) Post #A3zCPB1LHpDWr1LScK by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:36:03Z
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@huntley Yes, and it starts with a positive campaign - directed PATIENTLY at showing love to the worst offender(s).
(DIR) Post #A3zCqQvmEyvy19jsZc by hchooley@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:40:59Z
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@StevenDouglas Thank you for this!!
(DIR) Post #A3zCuTSilrpd1j4idE by Mongo3804@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:41:42Z
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@StevenDouglas You're a smart man Steven. Great thread👍
(DIR) Post #A3zDZqGgsrHpdCApUW by huntley@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:49:11Z
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@StevenDouglas Exactly. Never an accusation.Always a “May I”, “Would you like”, “Come over after”, “How can I help?”The angry old lady is now a delight.The wife beater moved out.Bad apples reform or leave.My greatest delight is my neighbors talk to each other. And our pets play in our yards.Being a good listener is/was the greatest tool.
(DIR) Post #A3zDccsv6E48zZNmxU by JoAnn_G@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:49:41Z
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@StevenDouglas Very cool thread!
(DIR) Post #A3zDnpD7c2aWPCAinY by Samson207@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:51:43Z
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@StevenDouglas Awesome thread! Thank you!
(DIR) Post #A3zECYkRxN84aUYU52 by Linnie@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:56:10Z
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@StevenDouglas One of the best threads I’ve ever read. This has a huge place in my life right now. You nailed something that I couldn’t place my finger on-with someone, who...let’s say, is *difficult.*Beautiful
(DIR) Post #A3zEFaG8nKai8vovwG by Dodgerprincess@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:55:50Z
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@Joycevor @StevenDouglas this is hysterical... I am the youngest of 8! Only girl!
(DIR) Post #A3zEPvxuwlTmMKERfM by Lisa22@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:58:36Z
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@StevenDouglas A bunch of people (Chinese speaking mostly) moved into the house next door a few years ago, and someone was always parked in front of my home...I didn't confront, just tried to get the space as early as I could. Well, one night the owner's dog was hit and killed by a car, just when I was coming back, and I saw them all crying outside. I stopped and tried to console them as best I could, and after that, they always left a space there for me. Just because I was trying to be nice.
(DIR) Post #A3zEULVLvzR6j4yVBQ by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:59:24Z
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@haithabu, you wrote:"Really good approach. Not because it worked but because it's right."Showing respect for people is not about who they are, it's about who you are."That's the deeper point and the one I teach my kids."I give as good as I get" is a net ZERO. And it means that you're a reactionary who can be manipulated.No respect of persons. Give because of who you are. To the just as well as the unjust.And sometimes it doesn't work. It doesn't matter. If I did my part, IT WORKED.
(DIR) Post #A3zEX5Af7Rtew8bNXE by Linnie@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T04:59:53Z
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@StevenDouglas Speechless. Great stuff. The Doctor is in da house!
(DIR) Post #A3zEk7rqPAXP431H1M by Lisa22@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:02:14Z
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@StevenDouglas @haithabu I totally agree! I loved your thread.
(DIR) Post #A3zFHle9Wn3BzeenI0 by Boudicca@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:08:19Z
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@StevenDouglas Thank you. I laughed about the screaming sneeze. I sneeze violently, always have. People, even hubby can get a fright! I usually do so twice and I don't really like it myself. There is a lot of pressure. I guess we are all different, even down to our sneezes!
(DIR) Post #A3zFLFE40eWcbI70c4 by mariahtj63@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:08:57Z
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@StevenDouglas Beautiful slice of life you described. Like a Fellini movie!
(DIR) Post #A3zFaGHoLhhsEW1eD2 by AliceInWonderland@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:11:40Z
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@StevenDouglas Thank you! Great way to get along in life.
(DIR) Post #A3zFatc28S3WCWmqe0 by gloriaoils@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:11:47Z
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@StevenDouglas Why do I believe this is a true story? Because this is how you act here on QV.Thank you for sharing. Truly. May more of us treat others better as a result of your sharing.
(DIR) Post #A3zG4ICtlw92sU313w by Cdubois@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:17:04Z
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@StevenDouglas Well said. Steven. I will never be deliberately unkind. My business partner witnessed an interaction between me, and someone who had really "done me wrong." She said,"Why were you so nice to that b*tch? She treated you like sh*t!"I just smiled and said, "My being nice to her was not about her. It was about me."
(DIR) Post #A3zHH8uxikOlmoLiwC by Zemeliko@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:30:37Z
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@StevenDouglas Amazing, my friend.If many people would know to take your approach, I believe 99% of the conflicts in the world (surely the unnecessary ones) would be prevented.People are so busy taking offences (intended or not) as an issue to be reciprocated, making wars over essentially nothing. It's so sad sometimes.Thanks a lot for sharing this!
(DIR) Post #A3zHJhB3Jd9McT5nxA by mfk@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:31:06Z
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@StevenDouglas One of the best threads I've read on QV!
(DIR) Post #A3zHcfAgztcXtty7f6 by ConnieinVA@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:34:31Z
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@StevenDouglas My gracious, this is wonderful. 🥰
(DIR) Post #A3zIFdBcJNuB2OyyWm by Kellzilla@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:41:34Z
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@StevenDouglas I loved this...you are so blessed Steven
(DIR) Post #A3zIQBXtQ4JqUsR02y by Exodus@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:43:28Z
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@StevenDouglas Preach it! 👍😁
(DIR) Post #A3zIvEhhj8y7GkpW64 by Beemer4Trump@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:49:05Z
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@Cdubois @StevenDouglas ✅
(DIR) Post #A3zJg6pIphk0RqjcOW by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T05:57:33Z
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@Cdubois I once read some Taoist story, can't remember where.A master was being screamed at by someone - unjustly - and didn't respond with anything negative. He held his peace until his adversary finally went away.When asked about it afterward he said, "If I offer a gift to someone and they refuse it, to whom does that gift then belong?"It's about them if they accept it.Cook to your own tastes and offer it up. If nobody wants it, bon apetit, you still have a feast in front of you.
(DIR) Post #A3zKJkUjHVmilq0taC by Joycevor@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T06:04:43Z
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@Dodgerprincess @StevenDouglas That's great! We're 6 girls, 2 boys. My husband is third of nine!
(DIR) Post #A3zKjivfixyDRd096O by haithabu@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T06:09:24Z
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@StevenDouglas May you always stay salty then. 👍
(DIR) Post #A3zPS3iaC03eTjH7a4 by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T07:02:15Z
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@Joeneal16673 Only if you let me. 😂
(DIR) Post #A3zijVBJEh3phrk6sK by Dawnz@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T10:38:17Z
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@StevenDouglas A great thread Stephen.And a wonderful lesson. 💞
(DIR) Post #A3zm0skj9SRHb4Hw9I by Dancemom@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T11:15:03Z
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@StevenDouglas A wise man overlooks an offense but a fool shows his annoyance at once.
(DIR) Post #A3zm93ZEpJV1SFoQ88 by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T11:16:31Z
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@anadyr6 wrote: "I've never heard this before and maybe ought to try it - if I can figure out how."Purify motives and the ways are infinite; a learning-by-feedback experience.It's the easiest way imaginable for me because it lightens burdens for all concerned.BUT.It didn't start out easy when I first tried it in life. Like any unused muscle, first exercises can be HARD. The good news: it gets exponentially easier - FAST.And it's near-zero effort once it's just part of who you are.
(DIR) Post #A3zqR67EUT8cO4ZT3g by HowFromCT@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T12:04:37Z
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@StevenDouglas A lot of life lessons in those words. Thank you for sharing
(DIR) Post #A3zrgiy6Q2dRBWJdXU by connielee@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T12:18:38Z
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@StevenDouglas Thank you for that Steven. Growing up in a large family gives wisdom like this.
(DIR) Post #A3zt40j2fGcos7wHDs by Krissy_Caster70@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T12:34:03Z
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@StevenDouglas a great thread and a great reminder. @haithabu
(DIR) Post #A3zuLd8DE1dyrZg4kC by MadBeachBimbo@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T12:48:26Z
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@StevenDouglas A great lesson and simple too. Thanks for reminding me. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own shroud of negativity.
(DIR) Post #A3zwfoS92dz9fykiMC by Sabina@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T13:14:30Z
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@StevenDouglas well I bet they all love your food...I am the food/candy/party gal on my rural private road community in the Granite State of NH...came there from VA, and they all love my Southern Cookin'...nice thread....simple wisdom oft forgotten...
(DIR) Post #A3zyZvl9ABNqVWxnA8 by DuaneCates@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T13:35:51Z
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@StevenDouglas ...aaaand this is how peaceful, sane & stable Adults handle their affiars!#MAGNIFIQUE
(DIR) Post #A400nlxMbh2W4CPDge by Clayrjr@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T14:00:45Z
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@StevenDouglas You are an international treasure brother!
(DIR) Post #A401gGKts90zvPOiMC by NSP@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T14:10:36Z
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@DuaneCates @StevenDouglas Good morning! 😊
(DIR) Post #A401iyZEOQIjgVOX1E by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T14:11:06Z
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Just saw a typo (I imagine that I typed words, when really I only said them in my mind). Resting Bitch Face is Angry Pig's wife.
(DIR) Post #A401ruK9XRPv8AbJQm by JM@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T14:12:43Z
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@StevenDouglas That happens to me many times. I don't usually thread so I can catch it in time for an edit...
(DIR) Post #A4031JNlqDkzPNLDBw by stephanieanne@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T14:25:37Z
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@StevenDouglas I so love when you write about where you live. I once lived in Taiwan and your short stories bring to mind our 3 yrs there. I love the Far East.
(DIR) Post #A4073eS0scSP99hG9w by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T15:10:51Z
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@Joycevor @Dodgerprincess Second eldest of ten here, with seven younger sisters (I call them my Pleiades).
(DIR) Post #A407Sw5uQ2SD6fPkOm by Red_wine_goddess@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T15:15:26Z
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@StevenDouglas Wow! Beautifully written and insightful thread. I’m sharing it with some people whom I hope will read it. This is a keeper. @Debradelai Is there a way I can bookmark this thread?
(DIR) Post #A40ALaTGiOIxsXWnXk by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T15:47:43Z
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LOL one last thing:Next Door Pig didn't say, "Sure. No problem." He said, "Sua, no ROP-blum." 😋 Soon I'll be doing online Vietnamese to English Speech Pathology videos (I am THE master).Some parts are funny as hell, Vietnamese learners roll with laughter when I imitate them (to show them what they sound like to native speakers).
(DIR) Post #A40BLatPFPFZ8lJwxs by haithabu@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T15:58:55Z
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@StevenDouglas That’s similar to Khmer not being able to manage certain terminal consonants. There was a bulk food store in our district called Food For Less which with the ones I knew always came out as Foo Fo Leh.
(DIR) Post #A40C23W3DW3C4ndyc4 by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T16:06:07Z
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@haithabu For rapid, more efficient speech we reduce unstressed syllables by eliminating vowel formation. Just make noise between consonants. (Construction = kn-STRUK-shn)It's the final sounds that are dispensable and eliminated ("swallowed") in fast Vietnamese and Khmer. They bring that habit into English without realizing it, and destroy words in the process. ("I like that" -> "I lie da").
(DIR) Post #A40Ddt0ArAXeQSKvJY by StealthWictor@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T16:24:38Z
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@StevenDouglas @haithabu I work for a 'Globo-corp' and subconciously mimic the accents (according to my kids since all of the WFH). I've been actively trying to stop, but with little success especially with the French/German. The Chinese and indian I'm pretty good at. No Viatnamese, yet, but it's hilarious that they sound like an english cockney or old southern US dialect
(DIR) Post #A40FvkBGakFYBkAT9k by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T16:50:16Z
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@haithabu @StealthWictor My younger brother also has a Vietnamese wife and two kids. He made two COLOSSAL mistakes. 1) He thought speaking English like his wife would make him easier to understand.In reality, his halted, clipped speech made him sound like an idiot to everyone! Took him forever to break that habit.2) He thought it would be cool to speak to his children in Vietnamese. IN VIETNAM. WHERE IT'S THEIR FIRST LANGUAGE. AND HE'S THEIR ONLY ENGLISH TEACHER!Now they play catch up.
(DIR) Post #A40Hd9crxkJPVmLHxw by haithabu@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T17:09:07Z
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@StevenDouglas @StealthWictor My daughter and her Tico husband have made the opposite mistake of speaking only English to their kids. Their children are now five and six years old respectively, natural born Costa Ricans living in Costa Rica, and they don’t speak a word of Spanish. They can understand it to a degree from visiting their abuelita but they don’t speak it.The irony to this is that our daughter speaks Spanish like a native. Strangers she meets assume she’s Argentine.
(DIR) Post #A40I9afYx2MqeU4KrQ by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T17:15:11Z
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@haithabu @StealthWictor My nephew was a teacher here in Saigon. He moved to Mississippi with his wife and young children about four years ago. He's now a deputy sheriff and his wife works full time at a nail salon (isn't that odd?). A nanny watches the kids during the day so that Mom and Dad can stack money. None of his kids can speak Vietnamese now. They're full-blown Mississippians now. I won't move back to the States until my children are WELL-GROUNDED in Vietnamese first.
(DIR) Post #A40JtzJzj9cENsfVqq by haithabu@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T17:34:47Z
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@StevenDouglas @StealthWictor Good plan. The complicating factor for my daughter’s family is that her son is autistic and we count ourselves blessed that he can speak at all in any language. So their English-only policy is in part dictated by the need to keep it less confusing for him.
(DIR) Post #A40JwZWc5umLFLnqjY by Sunnywindows@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T17:35:15Z
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@StevenDouglas Thanks for that excellent story. I’m inspired by your imagination.
(DIR) Post #A40K5MoWitwAQjNLou by Lovemylife@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T17:36:51Z
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@StevenDouglas so good. Thanks!
(DIR) Post #A40KgPzxqWvJ1NOQ3E by LibbyAnneHess@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T17:43:32Z
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@StevenDouglas What a great example you are. We are the oldest on our street. We were youngest when moved here and helped the elderly. We tried to do same with these younger liberal ones but no appreciation. Lo and behold banana bread and 3 avocados left in bag on our door this morning. This may be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
(DIR) Post #A40L2qCR6yoUeZv0TI by cshores8@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T17:47:35Z
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@StevenDouglas I really enjoyed reading this. Great life lessons in there, some I’ve been incorporating for years, with the same results as you note. Well done Sir!
(DIR) Post #A40LCn7TPySDzrLFtg by karnage@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T17:49:23Z
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@StevenDouglas Yer a good neighbor.
(DIR) Post #A40LUMInrXa82M1BFQ by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T17:52:34Z
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@karnage I'm a good neighbor maker. Cannot wait to carve out a little heavenly oasis in the States one day.
(DIR) Post #A40id6rCxE0pgeFhmi by phoebedrobinson@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T22:11:52Z
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@StevenDouglas I Corth 13. Love is patient kind never pays attention to a suffered wrong. Love never fails. God is love. Your beautiful thread just proved those words. God bless you and your neighbors.
(DIR) Post #A40rH41PiNGa6raYXA by JOHN_cronin@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-06T23:48:44Z
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@StevenDouglas awesome read. Thank you
(DIR) Post #A41088nfTl1fuVylxg by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T01:27:57Z
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@seeker @haithabu @StealthWictor It's a form of mirroring. A way of connecting and bonding with people and avoiding conflicts (by removing differences between). For many it's automatic, something that can't be turned off without great effort.Think of an emperor with a tic or strange mannerism. Many in the court will adopt that mannerism so that it becomes normal in some way, not awkward. Same thing, essentially.
(DIR) Post #A413Psopw1frQ9g4Xo by Cagey@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T02:04:47Z
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@StevenDouglas A surprisingly joyful thread. Entirely unexpected ending compared to the beginning!
(DIR) Post #A413mWsbfcvE2QEuLQ by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T02:08:52Z
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@Cagey Thank you!I see myself as living a teensy microcosm of what Trump facilitated in the Middle East. MAKE LASTING PEACE AND FORM LASTING BONDS WITH YOUR IMMEDIATE NEIGHBORS (and anyone else in your path). That's something ANYONE can do (and must). It's fully scalable!
(DIR) Post #A413sAtQKVXVaJJVD6 by Cagey@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T02:09:54Z
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@StevenDouglas I'm of the same philosophy. That's why your thread resonated with me so easily.
(DIR) Post #A419DUojwhUREP6or2 by haithabu@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T03:09:47Z
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@StevenDouglas @seeker @StealthWictor Claro qui thi.
(DIR) Post #A41CFUYSC2FmrH8OjA by seeker@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T03:43:45Z
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@StevenDouglas @haithabu @StealthWictor Thanks.My parents and grandparents were the local doctors here. Then people would still talk strong dialect in southern Germany, but at home, with a family of various backgrounds, not. So as a kid I obviously had strong interest to mirror them. At age 14 I disappeared into an elite boarding school, which did not make life easier for me.My grandfather grew up speaking english and as a soldier was afraid to wake up speaking english.Stuff ...
(DIR) Post #A41CnPz5gy7uWslriS by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T03:49:53Z
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@seeker @haithabu @StealthWictor As a teacher and voice coach, I go in the opposite direction of mirroring - since clarity in the form of MY dialect is what I'm teaching. In doing this I exaggerate 150% all the sounds that their ears naturally miss when listening to other native speakers. When they duplicate it, they're lucky to hit 100% - which is perfect. In other words, force them to mirror me. And many do. They can't help it.Message: YOU be the strong one. Lead, don't follow.
(DIR) Post #A41D4GABSZKIzbzSwy by seeker@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T03:52:55Z
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@StevenDouglas @haithabu @StealthWictor You nailed it, thats why the issue kept bothering me.Good advice. Be the strong one.
(DIR) Post #A41DFMQcVTGtboyJ5U by NSP@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T03:54:55Z
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@Webster
(DIR) Post #A41ynDxHDDLZ1MtauO by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T12:47:41Z
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@Silk_Kat More to the point, I (now) have GREAT neighbors. Relaxed and happy neighbors. They didn't talk to each other before or know each other that well. They do now!I don't speak Vietnamese. Much. It's the first country I've been to where I made a deliberate choice NOT to learn the language. For my own reasons.So I'm the mute that stirred the drink (that I didn't pour). A little leaven and the whole lump is leavened. "One person can turn it all around, I really believe that." - DJT
(DIR) Post #A41zmbrAxdvQobJSnw by Lionsfan@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T12:58:48Z
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@StevenDouglas You have written a powerful and wonderful thread!I've lived by the notion that you (usually) get what you expect.Life is far more enjoyable being an optimist.
(DIR) Post #A422PgYJdTcOa5FffM by Teeeye81@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T13:28:16Z
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@StevenDouglas One question. Do you ever call your neighbors by the nicknames you gave them? That would be quit a test😜. Good stuff👍
(DIR) Post #A42AoFGX1XdIpE9hL6 by Sound_Bites@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-07T15:02:21Z
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@StevenDouglas God bless you, Steven Douglas!I am trying with all my spirit to pre-emptively forgive a neighbor for their obnoxious and sometimes dangerous dog.
(DIR) Post #A44LaioTrEKwDti0Ce by Daisygirlx7@social.quodverum.com
2021-02-08T16:12:36Z
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@StevenDouglas @haithabu Love, love, love this, Steven! I appreciated you a lot before this thread, but WOW, major respect for you, Sir!