Post 9m2SW5qAg5d2aRvAMS by Dawnz@social.quodverum.com
(DIR) More posts by Dawnz@social.quodverum.com
(DIR) Post #9m2JezzGuUYjS6Lj3Q by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:03:03Z
0 likes, 12 repeats
ThreadOn realism.I've known for years that living with my brother in Las Vegas wasn't going to work out. The reason I was going to do it is that I have several incurable physical illnesses, and I figured it would be easier to just do it.But now I can't.
(DIR) Post #9m2JoJ2PRwud8vFsYK by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:04:44Z
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@ThomasWic Shit. That's a punch in the (my) gut.
(DIR) Post #9m2JzZuR3wrqebtsfY by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:06:46Z
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My brother is upset, because he didn't see this coming.And that's the point.I've known for a long time that we'd have to go our separate ways. It's a shame, because it's a hell of a house.And I won't be able to afford my own. I'll have to get an apartment somewhere, so I know I'll end my days with noisy neighbors.But so what?
(DIR) Post #9m2KCBvtWAgY3ab5Vo by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:09:04Z
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Nobody said anything would be easy.The thing is, I can't abide the inability to listen. When this finally came up, it went exactly the way it always has.My brother is a big believer in "Fake it until you can make it."So he faked it all, and in the end, I'm not going to be able to live with him.He absolutely denies doing what he does, so I have to find my own place.
(DIR) Post #9m2KXJFJWT0Ioska12 by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:12:52Z
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This is why I don't have any sympathy for that nutter on Twitter who says he's going to shoot up the world because of...whatever.I have absolutely no idea where I'm going to end up or even HOW.I'm starting all over again from scratch AGAIN, only now I'm 57 and have severe arthritis. Don't ask me how I'm going to get hip replacement surgery or be able to exercise.But I'm not going to shoot up anybody.If we choose to stay alive, we run the risk of bad things happening.
(DIR) Post #9m2KlX82hhFxvk8E8O by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:15:27Z
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I choose to stay alive.Things will be as they will be.When you no longer have a choice, it's a form of freedom. I was DREADING living with my brother and having to put up with everything that was happening.Now it's all out in the open.HUGE relief.It turns out that all that connected us was out parents. After they died, my brother and I went in different directions.This happens quite often in families.
(DIR) Post #9m2KyUSLx1dDPGoHmC by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:17:47Z
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So even though it sucks that I won't get to live in that nice house, I also won't have to deal with an untenable living situation.All my adult life, I've lived in rabbit hutches, so that's not a problem. I have an almost wholly internal life.So I'm not upset. As I said, I knew years ago that this wouldn't work out.
(DIR) Post #9m2LSjxirfogBWuJUG by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:23:15Z
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The thing about my family is that EVERYBODY perceives someone doing something that will lead to disaster...and then they replicate it.My mother was stunned by my father's horrendous death, and then she replicated it.My family is hyper-defensive, so the second you say something, they attack.I've kept my mouth shut for years now, but I finally decided that I can't spend the final part of my life walking on eggshells.I'd rather be alone.
(DIR) Post #9m2LuCii3GhTC7ys1Q by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:28:13Z
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I'm not sad, because I'm being seen as the unreasonable one.Even though I made all the concessions and kept my mouth shut, the first time I said something, WHAMMO!It's the family dynamic. Pounding others into submission.I don't do that. If I can break the pattern, anyone can. But people choose to NOT do it.This puts a big, fat monkey wrench in everything. But it just shows the dangers of making plans.
(DIR) Post #9m2M9HKbBpyTq6tJke by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:30:56Z
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I'm back to living one day at a time.It's not a bad way to live.And today I found ANOTHER epic missing piece that I put into my REAL memoir--the one I'm going to publish under a pseudonym.I expect the book to be a hit.If you listen to that inner voice, you will be rewarded, as hard as it seems at the time.So I'm as optimistic as I ever was.END
(DIR) Post #9m2NBXpAwJejWdpzWq by oystergirl@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:42:33Z
0 likes, 1 repeats
@ThomasWic Big hugs Thomas. I can't say that I haven't seen this pattern repeated over and over with other families. Let's go into business together - disaster! Let's live together - disaster. Blood is blood and it does not guarantee a companionable existence, in fact, many times, as you are indicating, it leads to just the opposite. My single sister in law moved in to take care of my mother in law. I knew it would be a disaster and it is, and the family was shocked, except for my husband.
(DIR) Post #9m2NykqlIcmA752q5Q by StevenDouglas@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:51:26Z
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@ThomasWic Joplin was right. Freedom really is just another word for nothing left to lose. And there's nothing like the truth that sets one free. I've known that all my life, in a life full of nothing that works out - as everything has always worked itself out. Always. And time is neither lost nor wasted, any more than energy is created or destroyed. It's all conserved, to be spent in other places. My heart is with you. That is not an empty sentiment.
(DIR) Post #9m2O1x4mIddStt7pQG by mariel@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:52:01Z
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@ThomasWicI sure do admire your optimism. ❤ And living one day at a time seems the most reasonable, it's really all anyone can do.
(DIR) Post #9m2OIarg8MLyw6vwHY by sidecardriver@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:55:00Z
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@ThomasWic Now that you have made the decision to live alone, you are free to live anywhere you choose. There are many places where one can purchase a nice home for far less than the cost of a home in Ca. We sold our Ca home and purchased multiple houses in Alabama. Nice houses not fancy but decent 12000 sq ft newer houses. I was able to buy a 2400 sq ft home across the street from a lake and the other houses with the proceeds from the sale of the Ca home
(DIR) Post #9m2P2I6sCEpK5cpZmi by Nemhu@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T08:03:18Z
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@ThomasWic I admire your strength of conviction. Just know that there are many of us who support you and will be there to help if need be. You’ve given us so much. The least we can do is return the favor.
(DIR) Post #9m2PV4bjTbX6bwzPZA by MarieGreen@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T08:08:29Z
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@ThomasWic It may well be that blood is thicker than water. However when a person or plant is dehydrated, a cup of blood just doesn’t cut it.
(DIR) Post #9m2R5T1sFqxOjU8QCm by blouie@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T08:26:16Z
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@ThomasWic Having lived with family members several times as an adult(and having them live with me), I know you must be relieved, now. Its great having your own place.
(DIR) Post #9m2S4blIOxF3TsXDBg by Dawnz@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T08:37:20Z
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1) @ThomasWic I suppose its good that you have come to a decision concerning living with your brother,I wish it wasnt this way for you.When my fiance passed away i was in a similar situation.Me and my little doxi were 3 days away from being thrown out my fiance's house into a blizzard.Had no money,and no assistance from the state except food stamps
(DIR) Post #9m2SW5qAg5d2aRvAMS by Dawnz@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T08:42:18Z
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2) @ThomasWic .But i had one thing-faith that all would be well.An old friend flew me to Cali,another friend gave me the resources to buy airfare for my dog.Wasnt going to leave her behind if I had to live under a bridge.I left with 2 suitcases,a carry on bag and a dog carrier.Before i even left, my fiance's family were going thru all my things,clothes, jewlery, everything my fiance gave me for 8 yrs became theirs. Except my dog. Yeah, i know how it feels,even if our circumstances differ
(DIR) Post #9m2TCKa6GJwAT1XoQ4 by Dawnz@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T08:49:56Z
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3) @ThomasWic But Thomas, you are very smart, and will figure just what you need to do that will be best for you.All WILL be well..And I am praying for you that you find just the right place where you will be comfortable and happy and at peace. Love you my friend
(DIR) Post #9m2TUBpdWz7oXmKLpI by Dawnz@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T08:53:10Z
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@blouie @ThomasWic Amen to that!!
(DIR) Post #9m2ThhIzpAwNvDV7IG by oystergirl@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T07:44:04Z
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@ThomasWic Now that you have that out of the way, I hope you figure out something more suitable for YOU and your needs without taking on the responsibility of another's desires. I know you got this. Starting over sucks, but been there many times and since I am only 3 years younger than you, I know you can do it!❤️
(DIR) Post #9m2XXldDHjFKGATg0W by chart_map@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T09:38:37Z
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@ThomasWic You are only 57. Go wherever you are happiest. All you need is an Internet connection to stay in touch with your friends here and to invest. Plus an address to have WW1 postcards sent.Forget the apartment with noisy neighbors. Pick something better (or least buy soundproofing). Money goes a lot farther in places other than LA. You don't have any dependents holding you back. You can do anything.
(DIR) Post #9m2XseRHDoAG29qvh2 by ilumanous@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T09:42:23Z
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@ThomasWic Dear Thomas,Everything turns out okay in the end. If things aren't okay... then that means it isn't the end yet.I have faith that your book will be a success, too. It is also probably a good thing that people don't know where you live.I pray that you will find a place that brings you peace and joy. Know that you have friends here that you can trust, who would be glad to help you if needed.You are greatly loved...
(DIR) Post #9m2YYY57FU7kTlSuqO by BennettVarsho@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T09:49:57Z
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@ThomasWic You put me in mind of my favorite Steppenwolf song.https://youtu.be/2hU3Sc6p0ms
(DIR) Post #9m2c182zQFQXzmn4aW by Brildor61@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T10:28:45Z
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@ThomasWic Come back to Tyler! You won’t believe how much it’s changed! Has everything you might need!
(DIR) Post #9m2hBh00pHQH41Fpmy by TimToolMan@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T11:26:40Z
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@ThomasWic Thomas, I assume you don't have good insurance if you don't know how the hip replacement will happen. I've assisted 2 family members with this:1. Apply for SS disability. You are a musician and writer and your arthritis is hampering your ability to make a living. 2. You will probably be rejected. Look for a SS qualified lawyer and reapply. They are federally regulated and can only charge a certain amount and SS pays that amount from your settlement.
(DIR) Post #9m2l1lRJrTOpkxY3YO by cynesquire@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:09:42Z
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@ThomasWic how will we know it’s your book?
(DIR) Post #9m2mANrazDkVCFVrKS by Torchbearer@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:22:28Z
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@Dawnz I Lord, I witnessed that it’s my best friend in 2003.....That is where I learned a very valuable life lesson.....don’t become to attached....
(DIR) Post #9m2mlfjNWCvTKHRwVU by RockyRoad@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:29:12Z
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@ThomasWic You’re not alone. If you’re in need of company, even for a few minutes, just say the word and your followers will come running. If you need help moving, you will get that.
(DIR) Post #9m2nkC7uCXuzArmVe4 by WarriorPoet@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:40:09Z
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@ThomasWic OMG..." I can't abide by the inability to listen"That sounds like my life story.People generally only listen when they are seeking their opportunity to interject their part in the conversation. That and when people ask for your opinion they don't want your opinion. They want you to validate what they are already thinking.
(DIR) Post #9m2o7eLJSaaHLVEkPQ by Torchbearer@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:44:23Z
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@ThomasWic I am finding out that TRUTH now even though I’ve always known it was there deep down.....
(DIR) Post #9m2oruzXtMskIo7NIW by PRooney@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:52:43Z
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@ThomasWic If I can help in some way, I will. Asking for help has always been the most difficult part, at least for me, so let us know.
(DIR) Post #9m2q2W7IogVCIHMcme by Lovemylife@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T13:05:52Z
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@ThomasWic I can relate to that.
(DIR) Post #9m2qMonf3vro1wrDSi by Jaime@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T13:09:32Z
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@ThomasWic Man makes plans and God laughs. Here for you Thomas, along with many others.
(DIR) Post #9m2qQ3yx4XKRzAgZSy by Lovemylife@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T13:10:02Z
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@ThomasWic “pounding others into submission” That is why I am estranged since my parents passed. I realized I was/am the family scapegoat. Quite freeing to realize that.
(DIR) Post #9m2suPF6n2z8WIq5ey by Shelzii@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T13:38:01Z
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@ThomasWic I will keep you in my daily prayers Thomas. I am a firm believer that when one door closes it’s because it’s not where you should go. In turn, it allows the right door for you to become apparent.Can’t wait to read your book....it will be great success.
(DIR) Post #9m2tq3Ow9cSHZkvPAu by Sound_Bites@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T13:48:26Z
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@ThomasWic Solitude is niceI don't really want another companion, but we'll see what's in the cardsGod ties the knots of this tapestry
(DIR) Post #9m2vHkWg1btZ68Jbnc by Princessjasa@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T14:04:39Z
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@ThomasWic I have found from my own experience that when you're doing the right thing the universe supports you God bless
(DIR) Post #9m2wW2VU4NQMsA8Rd2 by A_friend@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T14:18:26Z
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@ThomasWic There is a 55+ community out in Warner Springs, across from beautiful vinyard-covered hillsides where there are sweet homes, manufactured and modular on meandering streets amid trees and lakes. it is a quiet place with good internet; rents about $ 1500 and no multiple families allowed in units; mostly owner-occupied.
(DIR) Post #9m2xsFUcZHxdTOsydk by A_friend@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T14:20:00Z
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@ThomasWic find a place like that, write your book, think your thoughts in freedom - but please stay in touch and share your insight- treasured by many!
(DIR) Post #9m2z3ubc9UBc7cHY6C by StarLasswell@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T14:46:58Z
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@ThomasWic I was sorry to read this.At age 54, the most difficult thing I ever had to do was make the decision to leave my husband after 25 years together. As you knew would happen with your brother, our living situation had become untenable; it was destroying my mental and physical health.It's almost ten years later now, I've build a happy new life and "all is well" - and so it will be for you, I have no doubt.Making that decision is the hardest part and it's done.
(DIR) Post #9m2zW86xX3U67JOmHI by Elaines2cents@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T14:52:04Z
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@ThomasWic I'm disappointed this hasn't worked out Thomas. Part of me hopes you'll find a way to come to an agreement with your brother and this will still work out. The other part of me sees you in a small town, living in a cottage on the edge of a lake surrounded in quiet beauty. Doesn't every small town need a hermit by the lake?Wishing nothing but the best for you no matter where your next step in life takes you 🙏🏼
(DIR) Post #9m322WWkUPJ7162HcO by Watcher9@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T15:20:18Z
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@ThomasWic I didn't see that coming, but who ever does?It's hard and rather smelly sometimes, but when you finally get to air out that carpet that's been gathering muck for decades it makes for a better atmosphere. So much so that rather than resurrect that carpet you find that it's much more liberating to just throw the damn thing in the trash and start with a bare floor. Well, if you're interested, there's a quiet place in Michigan to go, if you can stand cool weather 4 months a year.
(DIR) Post #9m32T67Ym8N4wCvR9k by stephanieanne@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T15:25:08Z
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@Elaines2cents come on out to south eastern virginia. We lots of cottages and are in need of hermits. Yep!
(DIR) Post #9m33jGrAjCGUozXI2q by Ms_Kux@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T15:39:15Z
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@ThomasWic Cycle breaking in families is hard but sometimes necessary. Abiding toxic people because they're family shortens your life. The right thing will happen for you, Thomas. You'll know when it comes.
(DIR) Post #9m33zGrUTbwtTFJYGW by Oo@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T15:42:08Z
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@ThomasWic The new apartment neighbors Will be an improvement. Unlike what u have now, Normal apartment neighbor noise can be cancelled out with fans. Plus the white noise makes a peaceful feeling. I have two industrial fans going and it’s awesome. Wouldn’t know I had neighbors. If I turn them off you can make out their words.
(DIR) Post #9m34kcHAg1PtUou0H2 by luvmycountry1@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T15:50:42Z
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@ThomasWic That inner voice or as I say "The little guy on my shoulder" is never wrong! I just have to be smart enough to listen to him.
(DIR) Post #9m35L7mH21vlcbrIR6 by Jsavage795@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T15:57:18Z
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@ThomasWic great thread Thomas. I love the freedom of being totally alone. It will be great not having to walk on egg shells and having to worry about what someone else thinks or feels. I think you made a great decision.
(DIR) Post #9m36zvdp9uUVoCvYCO by Cyn_de_Vita@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T16:15:52Z
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@ThomasWic MobileWictorWagon holds Thomas & essentials, travels the USA homesteading at available fans' locations. Wisconsin, western site available. Cows, horses for neighbors.Gorgeous from April through November...travel south for winter.
(DIR) Post #9m37QzwHHwI4xMSyvY by luvmycountry1@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T16:20:47Z
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@ThomasWic
(DIR) Post #9m3Ab2awZIVtx4y4i8 by Audz@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T16:56:10Z
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@ThomasWic Feeling a little sad about this but your mindset is impressive.
(DIR) Post #9m3Acv3fYoPt9lIeae by DeplorableMe@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T16:56:32Z
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@ThomasWic All will be well.
(DIR) Post #9m3BbdLY1hDjtCc520 by Wendy@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T17:07:31Z
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@ThomasWic I'm looking forward to your book.You once said that your brother takes care of you. In my situation, my family is not nearby in case I need help.Whether I had my own home or apartment, I always had neighbors who were very loud. My sister says, ‘There is no Shangri-la.’Where I live there is a place I like but cannot afford: a one-level complex with garage and washer and dryer provided. That is my Shangri-la—no one above or below, with the basics I need without having to share.
(DIR) Post #9m3CbXKWUmsDBReSHY by Wendy@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T17:18:24Z
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@ThomasWic The house was reworked to contain all your books and provide you with your own place to study and work. If you must start over now, will that not be the same kind of unending stress that you would endure having to deal with your brother's changed lifestyle? I do understand the need to be ALONE. I hear you on that. But I also have less tolerance to starting over which is why I have to keep resisting 'fleeing the scene' at my age. It makes it harder on me. I'm a runner. Wish you well.
(DIR) Post #9m3EFY13SqVMqgBiZE by thegoldenpanda@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:21:15Z
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@oystergirl @ThomasWic I will never understand families who put up with family members who are toxic just because they are 'family.' It makes everyone miserable. Sometimes you just have to accept things for what they are and either cut ties, or love each other from a distance. Family ties shouldn't make anyone feel obligated to live in misery or toxicity with those family members.
(DIR) Post #9m3FJH7gJY6DZHd39E by WatchfulCat@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T17:49:01Z
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@ThomasWic You do what’s best for you. I imagine the taxes on your house are higher than lot rent in a mobile home park, or rent on a cabin or small apartment outside Cali....Someplace where you don’t have to do yard work or upkeep of a house. Someplace with Internet included.
(DIR) Post #9m3FSpAf5sEtlxZmz2 by BobbyBrown@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T17:50:45Z
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@ThomasWic Enjoying one moment at a time.With Donald Trump as President it’s not too difficult to relax and take it easy.
(DIR) Post #9m3I1rf41hCJXXdIHY by ChaplainEric@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T18:19:28Z
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@ThomasWic Have you considered assisted living? I visit several folks at one and they are all quite content. Come and go as they like. Meals prepared. Medical and physical assistance as needed.
(DIR) Post #9m3IXGLuH9kN5wdzEW by Torchbearer@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T18:25:09Z
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@ThomasWic I wish this would have worked out for you....sad, unfortunately I feared this would happen some time ago....The biggest loser will be your brother and sadly one day he will deeply regret his decision however as always, it will be too late.....Stay where you are as long as you can.....I am trying to adopt your approach......One Day At A Time.....
(DIR) Post #9m3JDNOKUk5z5YrI0W by debrasmith6354@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T18:32:46Z
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@ThomasWic sorry Thomas I have a brother like that . And a exhusband . I hope you can at least get the hell out of CA .
(DIR) Post #9m3JoCn4s5PUvQzn2e by ladygerbil@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T18:39:26Z
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@ThomasWic Haven't posted on here for ages but felt I had to as so moved by your plight and your fatalistic response to it. Your gentle wisdom and philosophy has sustained me through many dark and confusing times and I agree with others on here, you have a huge family of support, more than you know. Anyway, big hugs from Blighty!
(DIR) Post #9m3K8SJOsBxqr6lpA0 by BloodMeridian@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T18:43:06Z
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@ThomasWic I thought it was odd you were waiting for the house to be perfect before you moved. I ended a 'walking on eggshells' relationship. It has to be done for sanity's sake. Good luck with the neighbors!
(DIR) Post #9m3KAvs5wTcv71BByq by Steeltruth@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T18:43:32Z
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@ThomasWic THomas, I am still learning to listen to the inner voice despite so many others around me are trying to drown it out. I fully understand what you mean. Stay stong...never turn tone deaf to self. Ever.
(DIR) Post #9m3MwCQyNeYVzz9yUa by skhillx3@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T19:14:29Z
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@ThomasWic I love you Thomas in brotherly way. My story is very much like yours. All will be well. ❣️
(DIR) Post #9m3OKZV2NIecRJFKmu by MegasAlexandros@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T19:30:06Z
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@ThomasWic I’m returning to the States in 2 weeks from today after 9 years in Greece. Long story short... I lost my estate case against my father’s 2nd wife (35 years his junior). They took my house and the family farm that has been in the family for 400 years, since Byzantium Times. I’ve spent every last penny on this “project” and I’m 62 years old. I trust God’s will and know he’ll show me the way. As you say... “All will be well!”God bless all of us! 🙏🏻 ... and Make America Great Again!
(DIR) Post #9m3OmnhHBOGOa2QopE by MaureenQueen@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T19:35:11Z
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@ThomasWic I’ll be in LV for Halloween and was wondering if perhaps I’d see you there. Guess not. Sorry it hasn’t worked out - but glad you realized it when you did. Consider a move to TX...no income tax, good cost-of-living and Open Carry. I like Houston and we have the largest Medical Center on Planet Earth!
(DIR) Post #9m3PcDpfltEYPGsXWC by Dawnz@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T19:44:30Z
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@MegasAlexandros @ThomasWic @MegasAlexandros Im sorry 😢 All will be well, you are right.God always has a plan for us,Praying for you
(DIR) Post #9m3PjEPU1RkoE0yGae by pyotr@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T19:45:45Z
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@ThomasWic "Better to live on the corner of a roof in harmony, than in a house full of strife." Proverbs, I think.
(DIR) Post #9m3Q1hTegoQjaWjGYi by Cdubois@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T19:49:04Z
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@MegasAlexandros I'm so sorry. But God's plan for you is before you. Safe travels, and you will be welcomed home. ❤️ 🇺🇲 @ThomasWic
(DIR) Post #9m3QKaOrE9Nd8kUT9k by pyotr@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T19:52:29Z
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@ThomasWic "Live one day at a time", let tomorrow care about the worries of tomorrow>But as I told my Dad "I know nothing goes according to plan but I must have a plan. Without one, I have chaos. With one, I demonstrate 'flexibility'."And without a plan, how do you know if you got nothing done today?in sum: good luck, go forth, enjoy your life.
(DIR) Post #9m3VTYNCdCbrEPoOAq by Angela@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T20:50:10Z
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@ThomasWic no!
(DIR) Post #9m3Vmx8EnsRNWN3vMm by kbrendell@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T20:53:39Z
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@ThomasWic Dear Thomas,Rest in these promises:Jer 29:11~14For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.In those days when you pray, I will listen.If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.I will be found by you,” says the LORD. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”
(DIR) Post #9m3XDMxpTzQJ7aM1Ee by karnage@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T21:09:39Z
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@ThomasWic "that nutter on twitter"You've just described 97.36% of all tweeters and their tweets
(DIR) Post #9m3XyJZLvEVeCeI4jQ by 0RETARD0@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T21:18:08Z
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@ThomasWic "walking on eggshells" is a classic term for living with someone who shows 'borderline personality disorder' , which is rooted in childhood abandonment trauma. (adrenaline-reinforced memory is a key mammalian survival trait; might not survive a second near-death experience).My favorite model of personality is the assembly of sub-personalities which developed along the way.If I can link two toots together I will have a link in the second one. Best,0R
(DIR) Post #9m3YSXtLEhzrJK3V44 by Lisa22@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T21:23:35Z
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@ThomasWic I am so sorry about the house not working out. I was really looking forward to you being happier after your move. I hope you will have a look at Tennessee -- I've been there a few times to scout it out and the people are not only super nice, but the rents are cheap. Better quality of living, for sure.
(DIR) Post #9m3Z1oT3bBRsr7ZtE8 by chrislavers@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T21:29:58Z
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@ThomasWic I have an open room in the Mobil Home I live in in Cypress. Has its own shower/toilet/sink.It is being refurbished now.Should be available in less than a month
(DIR) Post #9m3Z7wb0I7avnoDbN2 by chrislavers@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T21:31:05Z
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@ThomasWic super quiet area.no loud music from anywhereno freeway noises
(DIR) Post #9m3aDmHFfUvVUXKDWS by lisapretzel@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T21:43:19Z
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@ThomasWic Ironically, so many of us on QV care about what happens to you, because you have been a generous person. Know that prayers and good wishes are given for you. "In acceptance lieth peace."
(DIR) Post #9m3ad1tejUXfAqKU9w by wziminer@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T21:47:54Z
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@chrislavers @ThomasWic When I was in med school, I lived in a mobile home in KC with another student for month while I was doing a Cardiology rotation. I was very impressed with the people who lived in the 'neighborhood', and thought it was a great way to have your own home for a much more reasonable cost then an apartment. It was quiet and friendly and I would live there again in a heartbeat.
(DIR) Post #9m3arY0W8unKokSfo0 by chrislavers@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T21:50:32Z
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@wziminer @ThomasWic I've only lived in full blown homes my entire life. decided to down-size and decrease my responsibilities, ie: lawn mowing, repairs, etc... for my last move. Now I'm on my own, no one to tell me when to eat, when bathe, how I have to look, smell, talk, when I can fart....
(DIR) Post #9m3bnqpsIVFe0aHibY by wziminer@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T22:01:04Z
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@chrislavers @ThomasWic I think it's a great alternative to living in an apartment with much lower costs. I didn't really understand that until I stayed in one. It had two bedrooms and two bathrooms, a living room and kitchen combo and was roomy enough for us. The other student bought the used home when she started school and invited me to stay with her since I had given up my apartment. She was a nurse before going to med school, and worked as one on weekends. I only needed it for one month.
(DIR) Post #9m3cIKuV2rxJyEz6DA by prchrskd@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T22:06:34Z
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@ThomasWicThe Midwest and the South have a lot lower rent. I live in a three-bedroom house for $500 month in the country. My nearest neighbor is a tenth of a mile down the road. Folks are very friendly here but they don't encroach out in the country. Yet they still watch and know whose car belongs and who doesn't. The local SERVE bus picks up people from all over our county for $5 and takes them to doctor appointments and the grocery store one way. Cheaper than a taxi in the city I'd say.
(DIR) Post #9m3cQcTJdTcYkmDeCW by Cdubois@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T22:08:05Z
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@StevenDouglas Beautifully said, Steven. I so agree. On all counts.@ThomasWic
(DIR) Post #9m3eApuw4t5JjFjwC8 by Lisa22@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T22:27:37Z
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@prchrskd @ThomasWic Wow!! That is great. Yes, I was talking to someone working for the state of Tennessee and she had a room coming up for $500 if I was interested -- plus, she said she'd teach me "Southern cooking." :)
(DIR) Post #9m3fHUftYVULpMRXGq by prchrskd@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T22:40:02Z
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@Lisa22The further south you go the less expensive it is in my past experience. And the farther south the nicer the folks. Everybody smiles and waves as you go past whether they know you are not.@ThomasWic
(DIR) Post #9m3fZyoMFPBuVTDTZA by Lisa22@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T22:43:23Z
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@prchrskd @ThomasWic That is great to know :)
(DIR) Post #9m3gYHIOeSH1D61FLs by prchrskd@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T22:54:17Z
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@Lisa22Tennessee is so pretty!@ThomasWic
(DIR) Post #9m3gaTv4gg1MwRA3WK by Lisa22@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T22:54:39Z
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@prchrskd @ThomasWic Okay, that's it! I'm headed over :)
(DIR) Post #9m3jwe8nfHWGsMqFiS by REX@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T23:32:17Z
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@ThomasWic Hang in there, bud.
(DIR) Post #9m3mQp4NnQmDMnICS8 by Baline@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T00:00:09Z
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@ThomasWic When I read your thread this morning, I teared up. I know you are okay with the situation. What made me sad was that even though there is a zen-like calm that comes from making such a decision, it also brings acceptance melancholy. When you have looked at all angles and possible outcomes, then ultimately realize it is what it is; ugh, the loneliness of that thought process hurts. That's one of the main reasons some of us are hermits. You've got a lot of friends here. 🕊️ 💙
(DIR) Post #9m3mvF8rQOzEuptPH6 by Cdubois@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T00:05:40Z
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@Baline Amen, sister.You've many friends here, Thomas. @ThomasWic
(DIR) Post #9m3qkAakOyExR0uaaO by JonGrubb@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T00:48:27Z
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@ThomasWic A little over three years ago, I knew it was time to get the heck out of CA. We had put up with the Palmdale/Lancaster area for 16 years. But a drive-by in front of our house -- at 6PM -- was the final straw. We were in escrow 6 days after our house went on the market. Knew we wanted to go to Idaho but didn't know where. A week later, we had put offers in on two houses in East Idaho. The second one went thru. I didn't see the house until the home inspection 2-3 weeks later.
(DIR) Post #9m3r3yma19MSbJtNWC by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T00:52:02Z
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@JonGrubb I have no idea what's going to happen now. It's up to my brother.He needs to live up to what he said in the past.Nobody in my family is good at that.On the other hand, I'll be traveling light for the rest of my life.That's actually a relief.
(DIR) Post #9m3r9UjYeQ9d8z6nI0 by carolinacally@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T00:53:03Z
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@ThomasWic I think most of us have dealt with this in varying degrees in our families. You're absolutely right. After a while, you get tired of walking on eggshells. I will pray that you find the place where you're meant to be, Thomas. However the inner peace you've found trumps all. Many people don't even know to pursue that.
(DIR) Post #9m3shflsDk7JAx3LGq by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T01:10:26Z
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@carolinacally Thanks.My brother said that all he wanted was to have a sense of ease around me, but he made it impossible.We were told in our family to shut up and take it.No house in the world is worth living under that condition.So I'll find a place at some point and finally be free of having to worry about offending.
(DIR) Post #9m3tZVHpPzSsIOfTs0 by stevehenderson@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T01:20:09Z
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@ThomasWic @carolinacally What a great awareness point 'almost wholly internal life' ...thanks Thomas, always great lessons in seeing how your growth influences your thoughts.
(DIR) Post #9m3vMABgkiEv0BYxLU by cshores8@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T01:40:10Z
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@ThomasWic @carolinacally I’d love to have you move in with me Thomas. There’s no rule against a hermit and a hermit “in training” living in the same house is there? Think about it. The offer stands!
(DIR) Post #9m3xyG8JIN4UM1HAMy by Beemer4Trump@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T02:09:27Z
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@ThomasWic If you get yourhip replacement, just call in therecruits from SQV to assist.Thomas, you are part of the nucleus of the SQV family, andI do not think I am exaggerating when I say if you need help, youwill find people here. Praying youfind a safe and quiet place to move to. I want to buy your newbook....but how will I know it isyou? Will you provide clueshere on SQV? ❤️ 🇺🇸 ❤️ 🇺🇸
(DIR) Post #9m3yOy52WUQCBQTwBM by RobertRickly@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T02:14:16Z
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@ThomasWic Have you considered a smaller community outside California? Las Vegas may as well be in California. The cost of living is substantially lower elsewhere. We'll be out of here within two years.
(DIR) Post #9m41RJs2mGtCCsDSEq by DonnaLea@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T02:48:19Z
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@ThomasWic My husband & I have started over 3 times in the past 40 yrs. The last move, 10 yrs ago put us 150 miles from all family & friends. It was one of the best decisions we've ever made. Relief is the word that comes to mind. Praying the right time & place comes quickly & smoothly for you.
(DIR) Post #9m41jtbudWU4GRWq24 by carolinacally@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T02:51:40Z
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@ThomasWic Ohhhh...I'm familiar with shut up and take it. Translation: I get to dish out whatever, and you can't do anything. I read a book once where a character said, "When it comes to family, there is no limit to the love I'll give. There is a limit to the shit I'll eat." 😊
(DIR) Post #9m430XwkXGNxx4mKTA by ThomasWic@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T03:05:54Z
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@carolinacally You bet.I read a novel in which an insurance salesman was obsessed with another man's wife because she looked like Anne Bancroft.He finally met her at a party, and "as if under a curse, he talked to her about insurance."So of course she walked away.It's like my brother's under a curse. He 's doing absolutely everything he hated...but only to me.
(DIR) Post #9m446ldsd0gS7UTzKS by Megagem@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T03:18:12Z
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@ThomasWic Reality sucks sometimes but we gotta keep it real. Hang in there brother, you have many supportive friends
(DIR) Post #9m44Bac73jvlMaxIaO by ggg217@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T03:19:05Z
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@ThomasWic I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Wishing you the best in locating a place where you can find peace. I'd also like to send a virtual hug your way. Keep being optimistic! All will be well.
(DIR) Post #9m44TjeUC5HgbjiZyS by Torchbearer@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T03:22:22Z
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@ThomasWic @carolinacally God has something good heading your way Thomas.....May his Love fill you tonight and every night....we all share in your pain and Loss.....everyone here was happy for you....He obviously has something else in store for you.....Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and Lean not on your own understandings, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will guide your path!!! Pro 3:5-6
(DIR) Post #9m46aOGUJCYoDDnIlk by Baline@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T03:45:59Z
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@ThomasWic @carolinacally I know this is off topic and will sound really odd. But eading this toot for some reason reminded me of the movie 'Naked Lunch'. egads, now I need to flush out my mind's eyes
(DIR) Post #9m46tvJtdRqGEThci8 by athena12@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T03:49:30Z
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@ThomasWic @carolinacally Ghost Story. One of my favorite books.
(DIR) Post #9m46vEMsIhLxbAie6C by Baline@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T03:49:45Z
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@ThomasWic @carolinacally I know this is off topic and will sound really odd. But reading this toot for some reason reminded me of the movie 'Naked Lunch'. egads, now I need to flush out my mind's eyes
(DIR) Post #9m46wRZCiGmMp843EG by Kat@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T03:49:59Z
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@Elaines2cents @ThomasWic I second that!!
(DIR) Post #9m47pomM727yk3cWqe by Kmorr48@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T03:59:59Z
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Las Vegas weather is good for arthritis sufferers...You can spend time in the local casino alone...watching people and talking to them...A lot of them moved there from CA .
(DIR) Post #9m4Akmv9tPtfOU1zIO by selah18@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T04:32:41Z
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@ThomasWic Hi ThomasI just read your thread on your moving situation but I’m so glad you realize what is good for you and what makes you happy. I think I’ve mentioned to you before that God’s timing is perfect. So tonight I will continue to pray that you are led to a wonderful, peaceful and affordable home, whether house or apartment. Know that I am one of many who truly care and appreciate you. Blessings Thomas
(DIR) Post #9m4Bn52Pba6u7G53zs by AmericanFarmer@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T04:44:18Z
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@ThomasWic From reading some of your previous Toots, it seemed like you had been looking forward to moving into your new home in Las Vegas for quite some time.My condolences.
(DIR) Post #9m4CdRR7ZaakdsbdAW by All_Is_Well@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T04:53:46Z
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@ThomasWic I was happy for you, too. But I never thought it would work out. Living under the same roof. I am glad that you are being realistic. Your prior arrangement where he lived nearby did seem to work out though. Two separate roofs, one for each of you. With your health, it made me feel better knowing that you had your brother nearby.
(DIR) Post #9m4GWjJF7hGBrbyZrE by All_Is_Well@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T05:37:22Z
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@ThomasWic I have several brothers I love, none of which I would want to live under the same roof with, nor they with me.Yours must care a whole lot about you to even offer.As each of my brothers would get engaged, I would look on in amazement at their brides-to-be. I would ask each one of them, do you know what you're getting into? Are you sure about this? They would each say, yes I am sure. Then I would laugh and say OK. Good Luck!I think this is normal about having brothers.
(DIR) Post #9m4Hj8xpfJgwrLRd4K by Wendy@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T05:50:48Z
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@ThomasWicSince I move fairly frequently, I have unloaded more and more. When I put it all in storage for a time, I was amazed how I really did not miss most of it.@JonGrubb
(DIR) Post #9m4qhst3S0pz6TLRcu by barrsniffsatjejuneanalysis@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T12:22:45Z
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@ThomasWic Wishing you much peace and very happy for you that you have the book - a wonderful creative event - in progress as a focus, as well as your other loves of postcards and investing and a plethora of interests. Got within the meaning of your words of this thread that you arrived at a great place of relief that the decision on the move was made and "out there". The elephant in the room is a such an energy and soul draining pain in the butt to live with long term. Best best dear Thomas.
(DIR) Post #9m5GHsxb9ZcqbrjXc0 by Jojoplumber@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T17:09:23Z
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@ThomasWic I’ve recently discovered one of my brothers is the same way. Can’t hear. No. Won’t hear. Its a choice he makes.
(DIR) Post #9m5GgCySOUL7dDjWJU by prchrskd@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T17:13:48Z
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@Lisa22We have so many beautiful States. "Oh beautiful for spacious skies for amber waves of grain"🎶🎶
(DIR) Post #9m5GjhmEKIUs28gJsm by Jojoplumber@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T17:14:25Z
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@ThomasWic I have a place you can land in Texas. Its in the country. Quiet. The occasional water moccasin in the yard is about the only adrenaline rush there is. My kids (who don’t live here) think its boring. I tell my kids that after all I’ve been through, boring is good. Real good. Peace to you Thomas.
(DIR) Post #9m5gm8obMq5jHKc4kS by thegoldenpanda@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:25:00Z
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@oystergirl @ThomasWic My dad's mother died a couple of years ago, and we didn't find out until she was ALREADY DEAD & CREMATED. I am the first grandchild & my grandmother & grandfather helped raise me when I was little. We found out she died from my dad's ex uncle-in-law who confronted my dad as to why he wasn't at the funeral. WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS DEAD. WE LIVE 30 MINS. FROM THEM. My dad has 2 brothers and a sister, and NOT ONE of them, nor my cousins, said ANYTHING. I called my...
(DIR) Post #9m5gm98SB1yGGttvgu by thegoldenpanda@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:27:32Z
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@oystergirl @ThomasWic ... grandpa, and he HUNG UP ON ME.After that, I decided I am 100% done with that side of the family. They do not deserve my love, sympathy, nor care. They conspired to hide her death and funeral from my parents and I. This is by far one of the most fucked up things I've heard of a family doing before.After she died, my dad revealed to me that there was a lot more abuse than he originally intimated at... including sexual & from his siblings. FUCK THEM. They did...
(DIR) Post #9m5gm9P7B5IZ6ZhEf2 by thegoldenpanda@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T12:29:25Z
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@oystergirl @ThomasWic ... nothing to protect my father as a little boy. And then the siblings all have the audacity to act like their parents -- and each other -- didn't abuse my father. It is so sick & fucked up. They can have each other; they deserve the house & all the other bullshit associated with that clan. I've cut them all off, and I couldn't feel better about it.Some family just are NOT worth it. Blood ties don't mean anything.
(DIR) Post #9m5gm9jJxxSg7F9N9k by Lisa22@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-19T22:31:14Z
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@thegoldenpanda @oystergirl @ThomasWic I just listened to an older woman call Dr. Laura for advice - she just found out that her sister was raped by her father when she was 12, and the mother called her sister "a slut." Dr. Laura told her to never speak to her mother again -- "she tore up her mother card when she did that to your sister."
(DIR) Post #9m5gmA8USNavNIvTO4 by oystergirl@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T01:23:52Z
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@Lisa22 @thegoldenpanda @ThomasWic Sad to hear this but I have three friends who were abused by their fathers from very young ages and all three mothers denied the situation. It is awful and totally not uncommon. I hope she is able to heal, I know my friends have been able to make great strides in that direction. As always I will ask that all innocence be BLESSED and Protected.
(DIR) Post #9m5gmAXIy7RacGXI48 by Lisa22@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-20T01:43:46Z
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@oystergirl @thegoldenpanda @ThomasWic I don't agree with everything Dr. Laura says, but she's spot-on about children. She is all about reporting such abuse to police and then never speaking to that relative who allowed it again.
(DIR) Post #9m6Xz6lTb5IsFqDfai by mkolb433@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-21T08:02:24Z
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@ThomasWic I’ve been off media so just seeing these posts. Wish I knew how to send a private message. I know of a fully furnished older vacant house here, you could afford and it’s nice too and in a quiet neighborhood. I think you would like it and once the owner met you, I think she would let you stay there if you cover utilities which are much cheaper than in CA! You could remain a hermit and we won’t bother you. You deserve the peace and solitude. Can I treat you to a round trip to come see?
(DIR) Post #9m7UIXHV1oUXKzAN9s by seeker@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-21T18:55:48Z
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@ThomasWic The best medical resource I have found:http://www.klinghardtacademy.com/Testimonials/Testimonials.html
(DIR) Post #9mADbvkKRtXfBdmCtk by bkrg@social.quodverum.com
2019-08-23T02:32:57Z
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@ThomasWic Thank you for closing this thread with "you are optimistic"I was getting sadder with each toot.Sorry about the living situation. I remember your brother built the room full of bookcases for you. Are you and him still talking regularly?