Post 9gMeVcXJsV907HZMTA by packbat@dragon.style
(DIR) More posts by packbat@dragon.style
(DIR) Post #9gLp64gJW9EuDPpzqS by nautilee@dragon.style
2019-03-02T05:42:12Z
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Just in a really rough mood tonight.got stuck in a really negative, self-reinforcing thought loop about how... it just doesn't matter. Nothing does. I'm... nothing. Nothing I do will matter. the universe is a cruel, and unfair place. Born into the wrong body in the wrong place in the wrong time in the wrong universe to do anything about it.
(DIR) Post #9gLqGAvRG1KkQlIC0m by nautilee@dragon.style
2019-03-02T05:55:14Z
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this is a consistent problem, too. Not the, er, specific thoughts, but. The type of thought. Self reinforcing loops with no exit. I don't know how to break them, much less prevent getting stuck in one in the first place.
(DIR) Post #9gLw5HX6ww1fSn6Oxs by anthracite@dragon.style
2019-03-02T07:00:08Z
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@nautilee A dose of MDMA helped me reduce that a lot. Sadly that shit is super illegal nowadays.More mundanely training myself to realize I'm stuck in a stupid depression loop again and go " okay have I eaten, have I drunk water, when's the last time I had my pills, how far past my bedtime is it" and so on and so forth with the stupid little shit like that. Usually fixing one of those makes my brain stop beating myself up. Still sucks to be lying there in bed watching my brain run in a depression loop. Still takes a certain amount of energy to get up and try to FIX whatever instead of just sitting there moping more.
(DIR) Post #9gLwPvlZ4c8o2Hi1Ca by kara@witchcraft.cafe
2019-03-02T07:04:13Z
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@nautilee I find that guiding myself into locking onto an external, neutral stimulus is best here. the sound of running water, say. there's a sort of process you can train yourself into where your mind is shouting about something else but you can encourage another part of your mind to remind you "but there's also running water" and slowly edge the awareness of the bad stuff to one side and have the water be more importantbleh bad attempt to describe
(DIR) Post #9gLwlXkr1nmFw7gN8K by nautilee@dragon.style
2019-03-02T07:08:08Z
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@anthracite Hrm, thanks for the suggestions! I've got a notebook I'm planning on using for writing down stuff I wanna make sure I discuss with my therapist; I'll dedicate the first page of that book to a list of Things To Check When Feeling Shit.I'm tempted to try to get ahold of a sample of weed, since my state just legalized it. I've heard good things from friends about it sometimes taking the edge off anxiety spirals.
(DIR) Post #9gLwsSyrB0sl9mX71E by nautilee@dragon.style
2019-03-02T07:09:23Z
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@kara Sounds kinda like trancing? Either way, I'll defo take a look at trying this! thank you for the suggestion
(DIR) Post #9gLx6B9uEam9wCEwFc by anthracite@dragon.style
2019-03-02T07:10:06Z
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@nautilee (also feel free to completely ignore this if your brain is broken at the levels of Needs Chemical Assistance)
(DIR) Post #9gLx6BORMYOyfH2XuC by nautilee@dragon.style
2019-03-02T07:11:51Z
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@anthracite that's also on my list of to-try, like, I'm on Celexa but it's been feeling like.. .not enough, so I'm due for an appointment Monday to talk to my GP about tryign something else
(DIR) Post #9gM45WJmmJa0x4UhE0 by anthracite@dragon.style
2019-03-02T08:30:07Z
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@nautilee Having a concrete list of Physical Reasons Everything Is Terrible Forever sounds like a pretty good idea! Especially if you wrote it yourself, there’s some kind of connection I find my brain makes when I write stuff that just doesn’t happen when I type it...(And hell, journaling is useful for getting out of brain circles too - writing a thing down works to kinda dump it out of that loop, you can see it and write down rebuttals/propose solutions/free associate around it/whatevs on the page.)Weed can help and it can also hurt. I generally find that “sativa” strains amp up nervousness and stress while “indica” ones can help to lower that; strains high in CBD are also also very useful in my experience. Your brain is not mine, experiment, take notes, learn what works. Also if you try edibles then TAKE IT SLOW, it is VERY easy to end up completely disassociated and seeing the world as spirals that are also triangles when you look at them sideways after having more edibles than you should because you thought they weren’t doing anything. Having a super chill friend who has done these things as a trip-sitter for your first time is a really good idea, if you can manage that...https://botsin.space/@selfcare may be worth following too, it’s a bot that regularly toots random reminders of little checks like that.
(DIR) Post #9gMeVcXJsV907HZMTA by packbat@dragon.style
2019-03-02T15:18:10Z
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@nautilee @kara Also sounds like grounding exercises, actually - focusing on if not introducing physical, present sensations and focusing on those to get your attention out of your head