Post 668245 by QueerGirlAudrey@vulpine.club
(DIR) More posts by QueerGirlAudrey@vulpine.club
(DIR) Post #668174 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T05:58:22.986334Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
the hardest part about being a trans girl for me honestly is just being past the age where I'm "allowed" to be *bad* at being femme
(DIR) Post #668177 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T05:59:53.631035Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
when you're a young cis girl, you get to learn this stuff while it's okay for you to not be great at itlots of cis girls had shite caked on makeup in high school or maybe even middle school and, yeah, that sucks, but it's nothing compared to walking into a job interview like that
(DIR) Post #668189 by MightyPork@dev.glitch.social
2018-10-21T06:02:12Z
2 likes, 0 repeats
@pea if its any consolation my sister still wears hideous makeup and shes in university (i might be biased tho)
(DIR) Post #668192 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T06:02:29.227365Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
plus, as a trans girl you just aren't allowed to be bad at being femme in general! when your makeup isn't good people see you as a "man wearing makeup" because you're incompetent at it because you *never had the chance to become good at it*I'm sure I'm not alone as a trans girl who just doesn't wear makeup because every experience she's had trying to has been fucking awfulbecause you *aren't* just good at makeup overnight. and it's really not realistic to just put on makeup in the bathroom and take it right off afterwards and get a good understanding of it
(DIR) Post #668193 by lyliawisteria@enby.club
2018-10-21T06:02:25Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@pea i very rarely wear makeup in public. maybe just a bit sometimes, but i'm still pretty bad at it u.u
(DIR) Post #668202 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T06:03:53.744719Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@MightyPork honestly, even university isn't *that* badmind you, worse than high-school or middle school just on the merit of it being the main point in your life where you can date as a "mature adult" because once you're out of college your friend groups usually become insular, ignoring work friends who you don't want to date usually
(DIR) Post #668229 by MightyPork@dev.glitch.social
2018-10-21T06:06:11Z
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@pea well yeah im out of uni and can confirm my friend group is a null set now. but i never had a real chance to try "dating" as a boy in a technical school, with maybe 2 girls lmao
(DIR) Post #668245 by QueerGirlAudrey@vulpine.club
2018-10-21T06:05:09Z
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@pea God, thats exactly why ive been so scared to try makeup
(DIR) Post #668246 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T06:11:02.179284Z
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@QueerGirlAudrey yep, you're just not fuckin allowed to be bad at it.that said, my mum doesn't wear makeup either so I'm reasonably sure she wouldn't have taught me anyway growing up, so 9.9
(DIR) Post #668301 by nebula@plural.cafe
2018-10-21T06:15:50Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@pea back when we were trying to be a boy, when we grew our hair out people even gave us shit for not *knowing* how to do a ponytail right like anyone teaches boys how to do that.
(DIR) Post #668302 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T06:17:00.931125Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@nebula i just do loose ponytails because i still don't know how to not make my hair stick up at weird angles no matter how many times i try to absolutely make sure it's all pulled as far as it'll go
(DIR) Post #668700 by Corvusheart@mastodon.social
2018-10-21T06:51:54Z
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@pea hi, I'm cis would you mind me asking a question about this in comparison with my own experience?
(DIR) Post #668701 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T06:53:03.547677Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Corvusheart go for it!
(DIR) Post #668810 by Corvusheart@mastodon.social
2018-10-21T06:57:10Z
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@pea so I was bullied when I was younger and didn't have femme people show me how to do "good" make up until I was in my twenties and a lot of that was bathroom experiments. I recognise that I have a freer space to move outside my room as such, but I was wondering if you see that space completely closed for you out of necessity (as in safety and acceptance is harder if you try) or because it is mentally tiring and alienating to try so hard?
(DIR) Post #668811 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T07:02:35.464894Z
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@Corvusheart it's definitely a little of both I guess I would say?Or rather, I don't think that there's a meaningful distinction between "safety and acceptance is harder if you try" and "it's mentally tiring and alienating to try so hard"the two are very intertwineda lot of fights, if not most of them, as a trans girl are bearing a lot of stress and difficulty now for a better futuremakeup isn't distinct from this. You're almost always making safety and acceptance harder in the short term to make it easier in the long term, even in regards to the overarching transition
(DIR) Post #668812 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T07:02:46.554802Z
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@Corvusheart does that make sense?
(DIR) Post #668828 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T07:04:47.222517Z
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@Corvusheart so basically every fight as a trans girl is... basically a system where if you expend a high amount of mental exhaustion over a short time and fight an uphill battle (making safety and acceptance harder), your overall constant rate of mental exhaustion decreases
(DIR) Post #668829 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T07:04:56.568280Z
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@Corvusheart or at least that's how i see it
(DIR) Post #668909 by Corvusheart@mastodon.social
2018-10-21T07:13:58Z
1 likes, 0 repeats
@pea makes sense. Acceptance of trans women should of course happen regardless of femme appearance, but since make up is something I love doing since I learned how to do it I'm working on fighting that knee jerk reaction on advicing how to femme without realising how it comes across. Understanding is helpful thank you
(DIR) Post #668925 by pea@fuckonthefirst.date
2018-10-21T07:15:09.832920Z
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@Corvusheart fwiw feel free to help me any time i try to make some progress and it comes up, i like to think i'm pretty good about accepting criticism, the hard part is on the societal level