Post 614631 by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
(DIR) More posts by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
(DIR) Post #607818 by Secondary_world@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-18T01:09:59Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I don't want the last thing I ever said to her to be a text that reads "we can't talk anymore"
(DIR) Post #607901 by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-18T01:16:38Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Secondary_world my actual partner of three years hasn't spoken to me in a month. I'm pretty sure we're broken up, but it was left on a quite indefinite note. I feel this.
(DIR) Post #607914 by Secondary_world@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-18T01:17:22Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fradleybox Solidarity comrade. I can't decide if I should risk the prohibition my wife has set and send a letter or if that would be the stupidest possible option
(DIR) Post #607931 by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-18T01:18:11Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
I mean it's not a good situation that you've got yourself into, there are no good choices, but that one feels worse than some.
(DIR) Post #614630 by ItsJenNotGabby@twinja.club
2018-10-18T02:38:49Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fradleybox @Secondary_world wow. That's super shitty and idk your situation but after 3 years, you definitely deserve better than that
(DIR) Post #614631 by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-18T07:36:02Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ItsJenNotGabby @Secondary_world I mean, she said she's angry at me. I understand about 25% of why (and it's valid). Until I find out more I'll never actually know how shitty or not this is. I have to assume she sincerely thinks she is justified, or, worse, that I actually did something hurtful enough to cause this kind of reaction. I still might not deserve it, but I would at least understand it. but also for all i know she thinks I ghosted her because technically she had the last word.
(DIR) Post #614632 by Secondary_world@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-18T11:38:00Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fradleybox @ItsJenNotGabby I hope you two get the chance to work it out, that sounds really very upsetting for everybody
(DIR) Post #627426 by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-19T00:57:52Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Secondary_world @ItsJenNotGabby Today I got a very businesslike email from her, entirely about transferring my mobile phone out of her name. Its tone somehow manage to perfectly achieve not telling me fucking anything about whether she thinks we've broken up or not. I feel like I have to assume we are, but I also can't comprehend this particular human being not saying it to my face. I profoundly don't get it. I wonder if an email has been lost to spam or something. It's so strange.
(DIR) Post #627429 by Secondary_world@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-19T00:58:31Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fradleybox @ItsJenNotGabby It might be too hard for her to do. Is there a risk associated with reaching out and calling her?
(DIR) Post #627441 by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-19T01:00:09Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Secondary_world @ItsJenNotGabby In our last substantive exchange she asked for space. "I have told you how I feel, I am currently sorting it out, and I will get back to you as soon as I have".
(DIR) Post #627447 by Secondary_world@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-19T01:00:37Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fradleybox @ItsJenNotGabby That is real rough. I would not be able to do that, I don't think. I'm not good about space
(DIR) Post #627496 by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-19T01:06:39Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Secondary_world @ItsJenNotGabby I struggle with not having complete context for this behavior. I know she is angry at me, for handling disability and subsequent depression poorly and allowing that to affect her. It's something I was aware of. I was open about the difficulty I was having. I attended therapy, physical and mental, for a combined three years, ongoing. Obv that wasn't enough, and it's okay that it wasn't. But, not having a clear understanding of what is happening now is hard.
(DIR) Post #627520 by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-19T01:09:27Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@Secondary_world @ItsJenNotGabby nevertheless, pressing her for that understanding would not be constructive. She might not even have that information to give me yet. I won't feel better. I'll violate her stated boundaries. I'll be preventing or resetting whatever healing she needs to do. I just have to live with not knowing.
(DIR) Post #627521 by Secondary_world@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-19T01:10:04Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fradleybox @ItsJenNotGabby Let me know if there's anything I can do other than be in emotional solidarity with you, comrade. I know from firsthand experience its tough
(DIR) Post #627845 by ItsJenNotGabby@twinja.club
2018-10-19T01:22:53Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fradleybox @Secondary_world i hate this, on your behalf and in general. So much of life doesnt have closure, and that's a really hard thing to wrap your heart and mind around. I hope you can make peace with the situation soon, for yourself at least, if not with them.
(DIR) Post #627846 by fradleybox@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-19T01:31:51Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@ItsJenNotGabby @Secondary_world I think it's going to take me a while. I think about it literally constantly, no matter what else I am doing. I am experiencing almost total anhedonia. Every time the gchat notification goes off, I still hope it's her. I've never felt so seen by anyone before and I don't know how to handle losing that, let alone not really understanding her thoughts about why. I fear I will cope with this by increasing cynicism about other people.
(DIR) Post #627847 by Secondary_world@guillotines.masto.host
2018-10-19T01:45:30Z
0 likes, 0 repeats
@fradleybox @ItsJenNotGabby It doesn't compare, but my friendship with this woman... it's like the easiest, fastest, best, most deepest and lasting friendship I ever formed (har, you see why my wife is not pleased) and now I'm in the same boat where I don't know if I'll ever talk to her again