Post 2855438 by Los_Ingobernables_De_Jorts@jorts.horse
(DIR) More posts by Los_Ingobernables_De_Jorts@jorts.horse
(DIR) Post #2855313 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:45:29Z
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Alright, so, this is a Jan the Chicken Lady thread. My family met Jan when I was young and we bought a house from her on Whidbey Island, WA. The house is a treasure.
(DIR) Post #2855344 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:46:38Z
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The first thing you notice about the house is that several of the windows don't let you look inside the house. This is because she enlarged scenes from Snow White onto large pieces of particle board, glued them over the windows, and then put furniture behind them. So you'd look in the window and see a bunch of mice and birds making a dress.
(DIR) Post #2855365 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:47:55Z
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You go inside, and the place has two rooms. It's pretty big, and separated into the kitchen/living room/etc. area and the bathroom. The living room was... normal enough. I slept on the sofa bed in there, and she left her collection of VHS tapes in the house, which we'd watch on the TV in there.
(DIR) Post #2855388 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:48:45Z
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The bathroom, though, hoo boy. So you step into the bathroom, and the first thing you see is a big pink recliner. There's an end table with a roll of TP sitting next to it. Then a sink, then a bathtub that converts into a bed with the help of a mattress and a piece of wood.
(DIR) Post #2855403 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:49:21Z
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"Grace." You ask. "Where's the toilet?"Well, if you lift up the seat on this recliner, the toilet is in there. Jan had paid quite the pretty penny to have this recliner hollowed out so she could put it over the toilet.
(DIR) Post #2855438 by Los_Ingobernables_De_Jorts@jorts.horse
2019-01-11T05:50:23Z
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@BestGirlGrace i am a huge advocate of comfy poops and will defend them
(DIR) Post #2855454 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:50:43Z
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Since I was far too young to not pee on something upholstered and right next to the toilet, we gave it back to Jan. She was very happy that we brought Pinky back to her. So she named the recliner
(DIR) Post #2855463 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:51:06Z
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@Los_Ingobernables_De_Jorts It wasn't that much more comfortable, since you were sitting on a regular toilet seat. I guess you could use the arm and back rests.
(DIR) Post #2855485 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:52:21Z
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So we're at her house, giving her back Pinky, the hollowed-out toilet recliner, and she offers us a tour of the grounds.So the reason I call her Jan the Chicken Lady is because she ran a chicken rescue. She lived on a big plot of land and she built a bunch of pretty elaborate houses for these chickens that she'd rescued from... farms?
(DIR) Post #2855494 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:52:57Z
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So she had dozens of chickens roaming her property and living in these houses that she'd painted and decorated herself to themes. Like, she had a little bar-themed chicken coop, a few Disney ones, etc.
(DIR) Post #2855510 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:53:19Z
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She also had an entire attic just full to the brim with wicker furniture
(DIR) Post #2855532 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:54:08Z
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And she owned a tortoise, but that was probably the most normal thing about her.
(DIR) Post #2855546 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:54:27Z
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My parents sold the house a few years later in the divorce, but the legend of Jan will live on in our hearts.
(DIR) Post #2855601 by Adoxographer@mastodon.social
2019-01-11T05:58:10Z
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@BestGirlGrace whidby island is really nice. baller.
(DIR) Post #2855632 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T05:59:47Z
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@Adoxographer I have a lot of really good memories of it because I spent maybe half my summers there as a kid. Great place.
(DIR) Post #2855701 by Adoxographer@mastodon.social
2019-01-11T06:02:15Z
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@BestGirlGrace I've only visited, but yeah, so beautiful!
(DIR) Post #2858539 by selontheweb@sunbeam.city
2019-01-11T08:22:21Z
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@BestGirlGrace this is the detail that makes me shudder for some reason
(DIR) Post #2858547 by selontheweb@sunbeam.city
2019-01-11T08:23:10Z
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@BestGirlGrace this is the best thing ever.we need more ~characters~ in our lives who live their most authentic weirdness, thank you for sharing!!
(DIR) Post #2858556 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T08:23:34Z
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@selontheweb My dad said something like "How does the saying go? She who has the most wicker wins?"
(DIR) Post #2858562 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T08:24:10Z
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@selontheweb Thank you for reading! I only hope I can live a fraction of the life Jan did. Looking back, she probably had a lot more going on than young me could conceptualize.
(DIR) Post #2858592 by selontheweb@sunbeam.city
2019-01-11T08:24:30Z
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@BestGirlGrace LMAOO
(DIR) Post #2858622 by selontheweb@sunbeam.city
2019-01-11T08:26:11Z
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@BestGirlGrace that's the first thing i thought about tbh. regardless, it seems like she lived her life exactly how she wanted it
(DIR) Post #2858675 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T08:28:48Z
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@selontheweb You don't own a tortoise. It comes to you when you welcome one into your life. Same with the chicken rescue.
(DIR) Post #2858711 by selontheweb@sunbeam.city
2019-01-11T08:29:54Z
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@BestGirlGrace are we not all seeking our chicken rescue, anointing and preparing ourselves for our fated tortoise?
(DIR) Post #2858734 by BestGirlGrace@social.illegalpornography.com
2019-01-11T08:30:41Z
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@selontheweb Barely a day goes by when I don't ask myself "What is my chicken rescue? What is my attic full of wicker? What is my Pinky?"
(DIR) Post #2858766 by selontheweb@sunbeam.city
2019-01-11T08:32:13Z
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@BestGirlGrace here's hoping our toilet furnitures and furniture attics find us soon 💚💚💚