Post 127020 by Moth@cybre.space
(DIR) More posts by Moth@cybre.space
(DIR) Post #127019 by pbandkate@knzk.me
2018-09-21T20:44:44Z
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if i say “hey that hurt my feelings” and you respond “i only said it because you hurt my feelings first” every single time that’s..... not good right??
(DIR) Post #127020 by Moth@cybre.space
2018-09-21T20:46:35Z
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@pbandkate That's definitely something to talk about, yeah! It's not good and not ok to hurt people just because you got hurt first!
(DIR) Post #127021 by pbandkate@knzk.me
2018-09-21T20:48:05Z
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@Moth ok yes this is what im also thinking!
(DIR) Post #127022 by Moth@cybre.space
2018-09-21T20:49:20Z
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@pbandkate It's definitely a good thing to talk about cause it sounds very unintentional and reactive. Just gotta both remember that you're on the same team and to be gentle with each other. This is mostly a reminder for them but a good reminder for everyone!
(DIR) Post #127023 by pbandkate@knzk.me
2018-09-21T20:51:04Z
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@Moth yup, the “same team” thing hasn’t felt very present lately and I am getting exhausted constantly bein the one who has to try to deescalate everything
(DIR) Post #127024 by jizzwitch@bofa.lol
2018-09-21T20:55:08Z
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@pbandkate @Moth I don't have a lot of patience for that combative petty shit. They can work on their anger and emotional ignorance with a therapist, it shouldn't fall on a romantic partner to like, lead them through that into being an emotionally intelligent adult. What I'm saying is you don't have to always deescalate when you can be like "yo talk to me when you calm down, bye" and remove yourself
(DIR) Post #127025 by pbandkate@knzk.me
2018-09-21T20:56:35Z
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@jizzwitch @Moth yeah it’s also like.... I’ve been in therapy for close to a decade and he refuses to see a therapist (“I’ll go when you get me on your healthcare”) or other more affordable resources, so it’s uhhhh frustrating
(DIR) Post #127026 by Moth@cybre.space
2018-09-21T21:02:14Z
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@pbandkate @jizzwitch Ooooooh I've been there with a gal that's a VERY bad smell if they have shit they need to work on and they're taking it out on you instead of doing something they know they should be doing to address it that's not ok
(DIR) Post #127027 by dirt@lgbtq.cool
2018-09-21T21:03:11Z
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@Moth @pbandkate @jizzwitch are you starting these conversations from a neutral/positive place or do they arise from fights?
(DIR) Post #127028 by pbandkate@knzk.me
2018-09-21T21:04:46Z
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@dirt @Moth @jizzwitch ugh, they usually arise from fights and when I’m like “hey I don’t want to talk about this anymore” (because it’s too intense, too heated) that isn’t always immediately respected and takes some fighting to even let the convo drop for a bit
(DIR) Post #127029 by dirt@lgbtq.cool
2018-09-21T21:07:03Z
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@pbandkate @Moth @jizzwitch if you can remember, it might be worth trying to bring them up during not-heated times. That way it doesnt feel like a response to something negative, or like a weapon you are bringing out. That is assuming you feel the relationship is worth working on and continuing
(DIR) Post #127030 by pbandkate@knzk.me
2018-09-21T21:09:37Z
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@dirt @Moth @jizzwitch yeah that’s what I’m trying to figure out. Last time I mentioned that I had stuff I needed to talk to him about, he pushed me to have the convo when I wasn’t ready and ended up having a panic attack soooooo trying to figure out if I want to do that again :/
(DIR) Post #127031 by jizzwitch@bofa.lol
2018-09-21T21:12:11Z
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@pbandkate @dirt @Moth that's a big red flag and borderline emotional abuse imo. Combined with intentionally hurting your feelings to retaliate I'm getting a very bad feeling about this guy
(DIR) Post #127032 by pbandkate@knzk.me
2018-09-21T21:14:17Z
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@jizzwitch @dirt @Moth yeah, im really struggling to see where the path forward is. but three and a half years is hard to end :blobbowing:
(DIR) Post #127033 by realtoddhoward@bofa.lol
2018-09-21T21:14:45Z
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@pbandkate @jizzwitch @dirt @Moth dump his ass and date @lunch so my headcanon is real queen
(DIR) Post #127034 by pbandkate@knzk.me
2018-09-21T21:15:20Z
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@realtoddhoward @jizzwitch @dirt @Moth @lunch perfect excuse tbh
(DIR) Post #127035 by lunch@knzk.me
2018-09-21T21:18:03Z
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@pbandkate @realtoddhoward @jizzwitch @dirt @Moth *rubbing hands* haha yeah dump him no reason haha