      F I D O N E W S         Volume 17, Number 12             20 Mar 2000 
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     |  The newsletter of the     |   ISSN 1198-4589 Published by:        |
     |    FidoNet community       |   "FidoNews"                          |
     |          _                 |   1-717-732-6820     1:270/720        |
     |         /  \               |                                       |
     |        /|oo \              |                                       |
     |       (_|  /_)             |                                       |
     |        _`@/_ \    _        |                                       |
     |       |     | \   \\       |   Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720    |
     |       | (*) |  \   ))      |           DougM@paonline.com          |
     |       |__U__| /  \//       |                                       |
     |        _//|| _\   /        |                                       |
     |       (_/(_|(____/         |                                       |
     |             (jm)           |   Newspapers should have no friends.  |
     |                            |                    -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     


                        Table of Contents
     1. EDITORIAL  ................................................  1
        Ask Not What FIDONET Does for You  ........................  1
     2. ARTICLES  .................................................  2
        Installing Love  ..........................................  2
     3. COLUMNS  ..................................................  4
        This Week's Web Page  .....................................  4
        ECHO TALK - Why Read This Echo?  ..........................  5
     4. NET HUMOR  ................................................  7
        The Height of Science  ....................................  7
        Roadside Check  ...........................................  7
     5. COMIX IN ASCII  ...........................................  8
        Cows Behind Bars  .........................................  8
     6. FIDONEWS INFO  ............................................  9
        Masthead  .................................................  9
     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 1                   20 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                                 EDITORIAL
     =================================================================


                     Ask Not What FIDONET Does for You...
                                  Doug Myers

     The title, of course, paraphrases John F. Kennedy's famous statement
     "Ask not what your country can do for you... ask what you can do for
     your country."  Now it's tough for me to iconize ol' Jack Kennedy -
     I still remember when he ran for President of the US, and I still
     remember how he botched the Bay of Pigs Invasion.  But it occurred to
     me recently that the old boy may have been on to something there.
     After all, don't most religions and philosophies promote the virtue
     of giving?

     The column ECHOTALK for this week features my own and others
     responses to one asking for reasons to continue reading the echo.
     The responses all, in one way or another, emphasize that he must put
     something into the echo to enjoy it.

     Think back to your own echo experiences - do you enjoy echoes the
     most when you just read through them, or do you enjoy them most when
     you're posting?

     Perhaps this is the key to revitalizing Fido!  What is it that Fido
     offers better than the Internet?  Answer:  Fidonet needs you to do
     for it more than the Internet ever will...  The Internet has Bill
     Gates and all the DotCom entrepreneurs to fuel it - it doesn't need
     us amateurs to fuel it.  Fido, on the other hand, falls apart
     quickly without amateurs to move the mail, make the echoes come
     alive, keep the nodelist in order, write the (mostly) free software
     which runs our systems, and serve as uplinks for other systems.

     As a personal note, I've got to say that I've enjoyed Fido most when
     I've been doing something for it.  How may of those of you reading
     this share the same experience?

     Perhaps we'll attract folks to Fidonet not by telling them what Fido
     offers them, but by telling them why Fido needs them.



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     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 2                   20 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                                 ARTICLES
     =================================================================


        A step by step guide to installing love on the human machine.
                            Thanks to Lynn Gipson

     Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am
     ready to install now. What do I do first?

     Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located
     your HEART ma'am?

     Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right
     now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

     Tech Support: What programs are running ma'am?

     Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE,
     GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

     Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE
     from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
     memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will
     eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called
     HIGHESTEEM.EXE However,you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE
     and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly
     installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

     Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

     Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
     FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE
     and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

     Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself
     automatically. Is that normal?

     Tech Support: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it
     will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

     Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

     Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
     You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the
     upgrades.

     Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?

     Tech Support: What does the message say?

     Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL
     COMPONENTS". What does that mean?

     Tech Support: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.It means
     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 3                   20 Mar 2000


     that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has
     not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated
     programming things, but in non-technical terms it means - "you have
     to 'LOVE' your own machine before it can "LOVE" others."

     Customer: So what should I do?

     Tech Support: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

     Customer: Yes, I have it.

     Tech Support: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

     Customer: Thank you.

     Tech Support : You're welcome. Click on the following files and then
     copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC,
     SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will
     overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty
     programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all
     directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure
     it is completely gone and never comes back.

     Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat
     files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows
     that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying
     themselves all over my HEART!

     Tech Support: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able
     to handle it from here. One more thing before I go

     Customer: Yes?

     Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various
     modules to everybody you meet.They will in turn share it with other
     people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

     Customer: I will. Thank you for your help

     Author Unknown



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     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 4                   20 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                                  COLUMNS
     =================================================================


                             This Weeks Web Page
                                by Frank Vest
                                1:124/6308(.1)


     Comment:
     In the fast paced world of computers, it is easy to look to the
     "latest and greatest" for our needs and desires... And... after the
     Y2K talk of how the old systems weren't Y2K and would die in the
     year 2000, it's easy to forget them. I'm reminded by a User on my
     system, that calls via an old Atari, that the old systems didn't all
     die. :)

     What: JetSys - Home of JetMail, JetStat and other Atari FidoNet
     utilities

     Where: http://www.jetsys.de/

     Going for it:

     This is one of those pages that explains itself well. Rather than
     boring you with an attempt on my part to describe the page, here it
     is;

     ----
     JetMail is the best available FidoNet technology based mail
     processor for the Atari ST computer series. And it's the only one
     which is supported (there are other free mail processors, but with
     no support and no further developement). JetMail is now freeware and
     the sources are available under GPL for download from this site or
     by FidoNet file request from 2:2432/1101 with Magic JETSRC.

     Features included in JetMail:

          Full 5D capability
          Integrated Areafix with forwarding capability
          Integrated Filefix
          FileEcho maintenance functions
          Integrated messagetracker
          Handling of different netmail areas
          Echomail/Packet statistics
          Includes nearly all IOS/ACS features and much more
          Highly configurable
          Very fast

     There is a demo package available which includes JetMail (Version
     1.01) and JetStat (Version 1.01) and a preliminary documentation in
     ASCII format (sorry, the doc's are only availabe in english
     language) together with sample message files for the internal
     areafix and filefix. If you want to run the JetMail internal message
     tracker you need to download the BTNC nodelist compiler and the
     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 5                   20 Mar 2000


     Xvision browsing utility.

     JetMail is only a mail processor for FidoNet networks. You can't
     read or write net- or echomails with JetMail. I recommend LED for
     this purpose.

     Y2K fixed version 1.01 is now available. There is a problem with the
     PureC library function strftime which expands %y to 10 instead of
     00. This only effects the date in JetMail generated messages. For
     LED you had to pick up another update file.
     ----

     If you're into the Atari computers, drop by this page.

     Regards,

      Frank, flv@texoma.net


     -----------------------------------------------------------------


                 . -- -- -- -- -- ECHO TALK -- -- -- -- -- .
                 | Food for thought from Fido's echomail.  |
                 | Purloined without permission by D Myers |
                 ` -- -- -- -- -- --  -  -- -- -- -- -- -- '

     Though the messages below were taken from the MODERATOR echo in
     response to Jim Hanoian, I thought they were applicable to all
     echoes and might be of interest to all FIDONEWS readers.


     ---------- Echomail from Douglas Myers to Jim Hanoian ----------

      JH> I signed up for this echo since I am a Fido Moderator.  I was
      JH> under the obviously mistaken impression that I was going to
      JH> actually find something here that would help me do my job
      JH> better.

      I dunno, Jim... maybe you were sold a bill of goods by someone...
      or maybe you talked with someone who genuinely believed that the
      echo did them a lot of good, and you took it as a warranty.  My
      guess, though, is that you read the tag name "MODERATOR" from the
      echolist and thought it might be nice to interact with folks of the
      same interest.  Am I correct in assuming that no one actually
      promised you anything to induce you to join the echo, and that the
      dissapointment is based on your own expectations?


      JH> Can you give me any good reason to keep reading this echo?

      I can't, and I don't know if anyone should be expected to.  Don't
      get my wrong... you're welcome here.  Well, I'm not the moderator
      or anyone official, but I think I can say that as one of the folks
      who speaks up in the echo from time to time.  You see, this is just
      a gathering place of moderators - the moderators aren't required to
     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 6                   20 Mar 2000


      show up and they're not required to offer anything inspirational.
      So what you get out of it is going to depend on what you put into
      it.  If you're looking for good, strong arguements... pick a fight
      and see who will accomodate you.  Heck, you can probably join one
      of the ongoing ones with no trouble :)

      If you're looking for inspiration, try saying something
      inspirational and see who joins you.  If you're looking for tips
      and techniques, try offering your own or asking specifics.  Try
      nudging the conversation along the lines you want to hear -
      otherwise there's no reason to keep reading :)


      ---------- Echomail from Thom LaCosta to Jim Hanoian ----------

      JH> Can you give me any good reason to keep reading this echo?

      JH> hehe... I've learned to (a) resubmit before expired and (b) do it
      JH> yourself or you've only got yourself to blame.

     See ... just those things alone can outweigh all the other things (g).

     Reading some Fido echoes is very similar to copying morse code
     signals when the bands are filled with interference(QRM) and
     static(QRN).  It's amazing, but if you really concentrate of the
     signal you want to hear, the other stuff doesn't seem nearly as
     loud.

     Thom LaCosta
     baltimoremd@baltimoremd.com
     http://www.baltimoremd.com/
     -!-
      ! Origin: Home of The Other Robot (1:1/21)


      ---------- Echomail from Kay Shapero to Jim Hanoian ----------

      JH> Can you give me any good reason to keep reading this echo?

     When I joined in it was exactly what you describe in the first
     paragraph... and frequently it still is.  The trick is to ask for
     advice on something moderation related and watch helpful people
     come out of the woodwork to assist.

     The folks doing most of the arguing do it everwhere, not just
     here, so it's not enough to leave one echo I'm afraid.  I wonder
     if perhaps somewhere in the description of this echo the words
     "Warning - this is NOT the Supreme Court of FIDOnet." should
     appear.

      ! Origin: StormGate Aerie: FILK, BABYLON5 & SFFAN (1:102/524)


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     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 7                   20 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                                 NET HUMOR
     =================================================================


                            The Height of Science
                              Thanks to Roy Reed

     A group of scientists wanted to know the height of a flagpole, so
     they went out to the pole with ladders and tape measures, and after
     numerous falls and failures they gave up in exhaustion.

     About this time along comes an engineer, however, who sees what
     they're trying to do, walks over to the pole, pulls it out of the
     ground, lays it down flat, measures it from end to end,  gives the
     measurement to one of the scientists, puts the pole back up and
     walks away.

     After the engineer has gone, one of the scientists turns to another
     and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for the
     height and he gives us the length."


     -----------------------------------------------------------------


                                Roadside Check
                              Thanks to Roy Reed

     This man at the side of the road was fixing his flat tire.  A police
     car stops behind his and the officer strolls to him to offer help.
     The man says he's doing OK and doesn't need help.

     The officer takes a walk around the car to make sure everything is
     OK.  He spots a large knife with a fancy handle on the passenger
     seat.  When he enquires about the knife, the man says it's his and
     he uses it as a juggler at the local circus.

     The officer then asks him to demonstrate his act to be sure the man
     is telling the truth, and the man goes through his routine.

     Meanwhile a car with two recovering alcoholics drives by.  The
     driver says to his passenger, "Man ... I am glad I stopped drinking
     when I did.  It's amazing what they make them do these days at those
     roadside sobriety checks."


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     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 8                   20 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                              COMIX IN ASCII
     =================================================================


                       +=============================+
                       |  F R E D ' S   S A L O O N  |
                   (__)|          +-----+            |
                   (xx)|          | ___ |            |(__)
                    \/ |          |/=|=\|            |(oo)
                       |          |==|==|            | \/
                       |          |==|==|            |
                   ------------------------------------

                            Cows behind bars


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     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 9                   20 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                               FIDONEWS INFO
     =================================================================

                                   Masthead

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     | Editor:     Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, DougM@paonline.com       |
     | Webmaster:  Jim Barchuk, jb@fidonews.org                       |
     | Columnist:  Joe Jared, 1:103/0, jarhead@osirusoft.com          |
     |             (Fido Via Internet Hubs column)                    |
     | Columnist:  Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, wdbonner@pacbell.net  |
     |             (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB")                |
     | Humor:      Roy Reed, rcreedv@juno.com                         |
     | Features:   Frank Vest, 1:124/6308.1                           |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -  EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     |       Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince         |
     |       Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees,       |
     |       Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink          |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     "Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered
     trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA
     94141, and are used with permission.

     Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet.
     Fidonews is Copyright (C) 2000 by Douglas Myers, though authors
     retain rights to their contributed articles.  Opinion expressed by
     the authors is strictly their own.  Noncommercial duplication and
     distribution within Fidonet is encouraged.  Authors are encouraged
     to send their articles in ASCII text to Douglas Myers at one of his
     addresses above.

     The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area
     FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS.  These
     sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator.
     The current and past issues are also available from the following
     sources:

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -  FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     |         Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:270/720, 1:140/1, or 1:396/1         |
     |         ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/                     |
     |         ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/                 |
     |         http://www.fidonews.org                                |
     |         email subscription: majordomo@fidonews.org             |
     |                       (subject: help   body: list)             |
     |         ftp mail: ftpmail@fidonews.org (subject: help)         |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     FIDONEWS 17-12               Page 10                  20 Mar 2000


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