      F I D O N E W S         Volume 17, Number 11             13 Mar 2000 
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     |  The newsletter of the     |   ISSN 1198-4589 Published by:        |
     |    FidoNet community       |   "FidoNews"                          |
     |          _                 |   1-717-732-6820     1:270/720        |
     |         /  \               |                                       |
     |        /|oo \              |                                       |
     |       (_|  /_)             |                                       |
     |        _`@/_ \    _        |                                       |
     |       |     | \   \\       |   Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720    |
     |       | (*) |  \   ))      |           DougM@paonline.com          |
     |       |__U__| /  \//       |                                       |
     |        _//|| _\   /        |                                       |
     |       (_/(_|(____/         |                                       |
     |             (jm)           |   Newspapers should have no friends.  |
     |                            |                    -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     


                        Table of Contents
     1. EDITORIAL  ................................................  1
        A Horse Tale  .............................................  1
     2. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR  ....................................  3
        More on TheLitterBox  .....................................  3
     3. COLUMNS  ..................................................  4
        Ol'WDB: Strange Facts  ....................................  4
        This Weeks Web Page  ......................................  4
     4. NET HUMOR  ................................................  6
        Forrest Gump & St. Peter  .................................  6
        The Pudding Gang  .........................................  7
     5. COMIX IN ASCII  ...........................................  9
        COW-ngratulating a Bull  ..................................  9
     6. FIDONEWS INFO  ............................................ 10
        Masthead  ................................................. 10
     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 1                   13 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                                 EDITORIAL
     =================================================================


                                 A Horse Tale
                                  Doug Myers

     The story of the EQUUS echo unfolding in the echo MODERATOR reads
     like a Zane Gray novel of the Old West.  It features some of Fido's
     most notorious cow-poke locked in a feud over the fate of this horse
     pasture.

     The Tale: it begins with Bob Kohl, the ancestral baron of this echo,
     slowly losing his grip on it.  In the days when the Backbone split
     into the NAB and Z1B, Bob decreed that his echo could no longer be
     carried by the newly formed Z1B... possibly to rob this new
     organization of the horsepower EQUUS would lend it.  The result of
     that decree, according to sources in MODERATOR, seems to be that the
     echo could no longer reach half it's audience, and that at least one
     sysop decided to leave Fidonet now that her favorite echo was no
     longer available to her.

     Earlier this year, the EQUUS echo fell into neglect with Bob Kohl
     failing (or choosing not) to relist the echo in the required six
     month intervals.  According the the code of the ELIST, such echoes
     are dropped from the echolist and become fair game for anyone to
     homestead.

     After the EQUUS echo fell from the elisting, Lesley-Dee Dylan, the
     noted SuperBitch who had quarreled with Bob Kohl over water rights
     (or something involving the flow of netmail) in the past staked her
     own claim to EQUUS.  She employed the infamous echo pirate, Bobby
     Queen, to carry out the dastardly deed, and now his actions are
     being branded as horse thievery by Judge Roy Witt, acting as the Law
     west of the Elist Robot.

     The Editorial:  It's difficult for this editor to see the claimed
     wrongdoings in this saga.

     First, it doesn't appear that the echo EQUUS was being run for the
     benefit of the echo participants in the first place... the fact that
     it was used as a pawn to make some political statement in the
     NAB/Z1B squabble at the expense of cutting off half of the nodes
     hardly conjures a scene of benign, caring shepherding of the echo.

     Secondly, the fact that it fell from the elist when all that was
     needed was some form of echomail or email to updated it at any time
     in a six-month period indicates that there was little concern about
     the echo on Bob Kohl's part.

     Bobby Queen is taken to task for relisting the echo without
     subsequently offering it back to Bob Kohl.  Roy Witt maintains that
     this was Bobby's announced modus operandi in the past, and so it
     becomes an obligation for Bobby to continue operating in the same
     manner.  I'm not sure how Bobby incurred this obligation, though,
     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 2                   13 Mar 2000


     and I'm not sure I can agree with this reasoning.

     Whether Lesley-Dee has taken over the echo in an effort to do a
     service to the echo participants, or whether she is simply garnering
     revenge for past conflicts with Bob Kohl... it's difficult to see
     how Fido gains a worse echo in either case.  It appears that the
     echo was "pirated" fair and square.



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     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 3                   13 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                           LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
     =================================================================


      More on TheLitterBox, http://www.TheLitterBox.org (1:109/263)
      Echomail from the FIDONEWS echo
      from Tony Campbell to Frank Vest
      Subject:  Site Review in last week's Fidonews
      ---------------
     (Douglas, if you want to cut/paste for the snooze, be my guest...)

     Frank,

     Thank you for the pleasant surprise that I got at work today.
     Somebody handed me a hard copy of the snooze. Surprise!

     First, there is no need to protect the sender, as I already know who
     it was. One of the voices of the 'Nugget Chorus', as I call my user
     base, went  very quiet when the others started to crescendo.  MF.  I
     will see him  later this week and I will be getting some 'ragging'
     in.

     Second, thank you for kindly pulling punches on some things, like
     the Affiliation typo, and the html new user problem.  That is much
     appreciated.

     Third, I want to acknoledge the real sources of that page.  That
     page  started as a reference to myself, but open to all to use.  The
     credit  for the large quoted what is Fidonet section goes to Andrea
     Santos. The credit for the FidoNews archive goes to George Peace,
     The credit for the nodediff/list archive goes to Ruth Argust. Other
     credits go to John Souvestre, Marcus Fair, Robert Stoner, and  many
     others.

     Fourth, if we are missing something, I hope others will contribute.

     Take care,

     Tony


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     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 4                   13 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                                  COLUMNS
     =================================================================


                                Strange Facts
                                 *Dug up by*
                             WDBonner@pacbell.net


     I bet ya' didn't know:
     Blaise Pascal, the celebrated French mathematician, while working as
     a bookkeeper at the age of 19, invented a calculating machine in
     1642.
     ---------------------------
     The snake house of ancient Epidaurus, Greece, was visited by mental
     cases whose physicians felt that the sights there could cure them by
     the power of shock. (Is it too late for me? :-)
     ---------------------------
                       _CHURCH SIGN_
     It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
     Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
     Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
     Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons--come hear one.
     Parking is for Church patrons only.
     Trespassers will be Violated...
     Violators will be baptised!
     ---------------------------
     I bet ya' didn't know:
     The mosque of Mohammed Ali in Cairo, Egypt, which took 28 years to
     complete, pleased the Pasha of Egypt so much that he granted a
     generous pension to the architect Yusif Bulim--then he ordered him
     blinded so he could never duplicate it. (1857)
     ---------------------------

     -----------------------------------------------------------------


                                This Weeks Web Page
                                   by Frank Vest
                                   1:124/6308(.1)


     What: PPoint Professional Point System
     Where: http://www.alcuf.ca/ppoint.htm


     Writer's note:
      There are many ways to participate in Fidonet and BBSing. Many
     times, the only way we think of accessing messages is by being a
     User calling a BBS or a Sysop operating a BBS. The "middle ground",
     if you will, is access by becoming a "Point". Of course, becoming a
     Point requires a little more knowledge on the User's part and some
     work on the Sysop's part. It is, however, good for both. As a Point,
     the User's phone and the BBS line aren't tied up for long reading
     sessions. This writer is a Point off of his BBS... Why?  Read the
     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 5                   13 Mar 2000


     above again and you'll understand. :)


     Ok... Into it:

     This page isn't large and doesn't have "mega links" on it. It is the
     author of PPoint's page. The page starts out with a logo for PPoint.
     Under that is the copyright statement and links to other software by
     Harvey Parisien. His E-Mail address is there also. It's nice to see
     an author that puts the E-Mail at the top instead of at the bottom.
     Made me feel good.

     Next, you find a link to some screen shots of PPoint. One can get a
     "feel" of how the program works from this... good idea. Under this
     link are "links" to download the PPoint program and other files
     needed to go with PPoint. Yes, there is a Windows and Dos version of
     PPoint. This writer currently uses the Dos version under Windows. It
     works very well... It's a tribute to an author that can write a Dos
     program that runs well under Windows. :)

     At the bottom of the page, is an invitation to join the "Points"
     echo on Fidonet which Harvey Parisien moderates. I read this echo
     and it is a good place to get information on Point software of all
     types as well as ask questions on "how to" and such.

     If you're interested in becoming a Point, drop by this site and DL
     the software. Then drop into the Points echo on your favorite BBS
     and ask questions. If your Sysop doesn't carry the Points echo, ask
     him/her to do so and find out if s/he offers Point access.

     See ya next week. Become a Point in Fidonet. :)

     Frank, flv@texoma.net


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     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 6                   13 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                                 NET HUMOR
     =================================================================

                           Forrest Gump & St. Peter

     The day finally arrives:
     Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is greeted at the Pearly
     Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and
     Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

     St. Peter says "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We
     have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is
     filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance
     examination for everyone. Tests are fairly short, but you need to
     pass before you can get into Heaven".

     Forrest responds "It shore is good to be here St. Peter. I was
     looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance
     exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test
     as it was."

     St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest, but the test I have for you
     is only three questions:

     Here is the first:
     What days of the week begin with the letter T?

     Second:
     How many seconds are there in a year?

     Third:
     What is God's first name?"

     Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next
     day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

     St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to
     think the questions over, tell me your answers."

     Forrest says, "Well, the first one, how many days the week begin
     with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and
     Tomorrow.

     The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not
     what I was thinking, but.....you do have a point though, and I guess
     I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer". How about
     the next one?",  asks St. Peter.

     "How many seconds in a year?, "Now that one's harder", says Forrest,
     "But I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be
     twelve."

     Astounded St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven's
     name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 7                   13 Mar 2000


     Forest says "Shucks,  there gotta be twelve: January second,
     February second, March second.....".

     "Hold it,"  interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with
     this, and I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I
     had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on
     with the next and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

     Forrest replied,  "Andy."

     "OK, OK," said a frustrated St. Peter, "I can understand how you
     came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in
     the world did you came up with the name, "Andy", as the first name
     of God?"

     "That was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied.
     "I learned it from the song....
     "ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
     ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
     ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN...

     Found on the web and shared with you by:
     wdbonner@pacbell.net


     -----------------------------------------------------------------


                               The Pudding Gang
                              Thanks to Roy Reed

     This is just too funny not to share. From an article which appeared
     in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2, 1999:

     Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at
     disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.
     The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled
     with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller
     safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first
     safe's combination, and inside they  found only a bowl of vanilla
     pudding.

     As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said,
     "At least we'll have a bit to eat."

     The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing
     but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were
     opened.

     They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold.
     Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.
     Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with
     nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

     The newspaper headline read:

     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 8                   13 Mar 2000


     IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 9                   13 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                              COMIX IN ASCII
     =================================================================


                       ______________________________
                      /                              \
                     (  For he's a jolly good fellow! )
                      \________________  ____________/
                                       ) )
                                (__)   //
                          (__)  (oo)  /          (___)
                         /(oo)---\/              (o o)
                   /-------\/   ||                \ /-------\
                  / |     ||----||                 O||     | \
                 *  ||----||    ^^                  ||---,||  *
                    ^^    ^^                        ^^    ^^
                     Two cows COW-ngratulating a bull



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     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 10                  13 Mar 2000


     =================================================================
                               FIDONEWS INFO
     =================================================================

                                   Masthead

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     | Editor:     Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, DougM@paonline.com       |
     | Webmaster:  Jim Barchuk, jb@fidonews.org                       |
     | Columnist:  Joe Jared, 1:103/0, jarhead@osirusoft.com          |
     |             (Fido Via Internet Hubs column)                    |
     | Columnist:  Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, wdbonner@pacbell.net  |
     |             (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB")                |
     | Humor:      Roy Reed, rcreedv@juno.com                         |
     | Features:   Frank Vest, 1:124/6308.1                           |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -  EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     |       Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince         |
     |       Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees,       |
     |       Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink          |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     "Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered
     trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA
     94141, and are used with permission.

     Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet.
     Fidonews is Copyright (C) 2000 by Douglas Myers, though authors
     retain rights to their contributed articles.  Opinion expressed by
     the authors is strictly their own.  Noncommercial duplication and
     distribution within Fidonet is encouraged.  Authors are encouraged
     to send their articles in ASCII text to Douglas Myers at one of his
     addresses above.

     The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area
     FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS.  These
     sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator.
     The current and past issues are also available from the following
     sources:

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -  FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     |         Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:270/720, 1:140/1, or 1:396/1         |
     |         ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/                     |
     |         ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/                 |
     |         http://www.fidonews.org                                |
     |         email subscription: majordomo@fidonews.org             |
     |                       (subject: help   body: list)             |
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     |                                                                |
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     FIDONEWS 17-11               Page 11                  13 Mar 2000


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