      F I D O N E W S         Volume 17, Number 08             21 Feb 2000 
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     |  The newsletter of the     |   ISSN 1198-4589 Published by:        |
     |    FidoNet community       |   "FidoNews"                          |
     |          _                 |   1-717-732-6820     1:270/720        |
     |         /  \               |                                       |
     |        /|oo \              |                                       |
     |       (_|  /_)             |                                       |
     |        _`@/_ \    _        |                                       |
     |       |     | \   \\       |   Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720    |
     |       | (*) |  \   ))      |           DougM@paonline.com          |
     |       |__U__| /  \//       |                                       |
     |        _//|| _\   /        |                                       |
     |       (_/(_|(____/         |                                       |
     |             (jm)           |   Newspapers should have no friends.  |
     |                            |                    -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     


                        Table of Contents
     1. EDITORIAL  ................................................  1
        OverLord of the ElfLords  .................................  1
     2. GUEST EDITORIAL  ..........................................  3
        First Principles, Part III  ...............................  3
     3. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR  ....................................  7
        The Appallation  ..........................................  7
        Poor little child  ........................................  7
     4. COLUMNS  ..................................................  9
        This Weeks Web Page  ......................................  9
     5. COORDINATORS CORNER  ...................................... 10
        Zone 3 Zone Mail Hour change  ............................. 10
     6. NET HUMOR  ................................................ 11
        The Universe According To Dilbert  ........................ 11
     7. COMIX IN ASCII  ........................................... 13
        Even more udderly cool cows  .............................. 13
     8. FIDONEWS INFO  ............................................ 14
        Masthead  ................................................. 14
     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 1                   21 Feb 2000


     =================================================================
                                 EDITORIAL
     =================================================================


                           OverLord of the ElfLords
                                  Doug Myers
                             (Recently Nominated)

     Many of us have laughed at The Hunter's "Notice of Suit" published
     last week.  Indeed, Charles Hunter has recieved at least one "Thank
     You" in the FIDONEWS echo for providing the ultimate belly-laugh.
     I, myself, editorialized that it was difficult to take The Hunter
     seriously on the basis that he appeared to be a juvenile.

     However, I'm now reversing my editorial stance and backing him.
     Hell, I'm rooting for him!  Why?  Well, there's something in it for
     me.  And not just for me, because he announces that he's suing all
     of Fidonet.

     The Hunter is basically suing me (and the rest of you) for the
     following offenses:

     1.  I failed to control the moderator and participants in an echo I
     don't even read, particularly one Jesusonacid@somewhere.com.

     2.  I failed to order various BBS sysops to make their boards
     available to him, despite their judgement to the contrary.

     3.  I failed to order the coordinators of Fido to give him justice.

     I don't mind confessing to all of the readers here that I never
     dreamed of having so much power over the people of Fidonet - I
     thought I just had to get along.  However, if The Hunter is
     successful in marshalling the legal community behind him, they won't
     be able to find me guilty unless they first empower me to accomplish
     all of that.  There's the prospect that I'm about to be promoted to
     the position of OverLord of Fidonet.

     I don't have deep pockets, so the courts won't get much money out of
     me... but whatever they get I suspect the ego trip alone will be
     worth the price.

     I am Alexander the Great, Conqueror of all of the known world - such
     is my might.

     I am John Carter, Jedak of Jedaks, smiting the warriors of Mars to
     rescue the Princess Deja Thoris.  I am James Kirk, Commander of the
     Starship Enterprise and Wielder of the Force of the Federation.  I
     am Rigel, Dominator of the Hyperion Worlds, belching fire at my
     whim.

     I'm in debt to The Hunter for his efforts in promoting my personal
     aggrandizement.  It's not often I'm given a free power trip!


     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 2                   21 Feb 2000


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 3                   21 Feb 2000


     =================================================================
                              GUEST EDITORIAL
     =================================================================


                               First Principles
             Part III in a Series examining ZMH and FTS001 Issues
                David B. Smith, American Tune BBS (1:2410/104)


     Hi, Malcolm.  I noticed you saying to Ron Mitchell:

      MM> I just don't believe that the ZMH and FTS-1 compliance has
      MM> driven away the thousands of Fidonet nodes over the last year or
      MM> so. We all know it is the Internet, or more correctly the World
      MM> Wide Web, that is taking our people. When you can visit the
      MM> world with one phone call, why would you want to go back to
      MB> connecting up to one BBS.

                 ...Presented for your consideration...

     True, up to a point.  But what drove the BBS evolution, if you will
     wasn't just users, it was -new- users.  We got computers and wanted
     to know what we could do with them.  People who we trusted to know
     about computers told us about BBSing, and we became new users.  A
     bunch of us stayed -- but we also became the people that other folks
     asked about how to use their own computers. And we told them about
     BBSing, and they became new users. Und so weiter.

     And today, when new people get computers (and before), when they ask
     what they can do with them, what are they told?  "Surf the Web. Hook
     up with AOL."  And they do that.  And then people as -them- what to
     do with their new computers.  Und so weiter.

     It isn't a matter of the Internet and the Web taking -our- users.
     It's a matter of them taking the -new- users, who bring others
     along.  We're out of the stream.  The salmon run is passing us by.

     And any solution has to correct that in particular.  Bringing back
     all the old users would be nice.  But without the new users coming
     in, we all get older, and give up or maybe die off.

     What got us here?  Because somebody we trusted to know about
     computers told us this was the place to be.

     Further, what has kept us here?  Interesting content.  Interesting
     -interactive- content.  Interesting interactive -human- content.
     Messages to reply to and comment on.  People to respond to, and who
     will respond to us.  A lot of Echoes are essentially empty.  One
     recently became quite busy -- FN_SYSOP.

     Look at the traffic there.  What does it mostly consist of?  New
     messages?  Nope.  Replies. Threads that run for weeks or months on
     replies, often travelling into entirely different areas of
     discussion. People responding to each other.  That's interesting
     interactive human content.
     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 4                   21 Feb 2000


     Where's the Internet's interactive content?  The Web?  The Web's
     interactive content is whatever a machine can provide out of it's
     canned responses & stored files.  Some of it is useful, that's why I
     go there myself.  Most of the interactive content is attempts to
     sell something. Nothing wrong with that, but it gets old real fast.

     Instant messaging?  IRC?  Interesting.  Useful.  Again, I use it
     myself. Nice to be able to do that, if I and the person I want to
     contact are both online at the time we have something to discuss.
     Makes it difficult to communicate with someone on the other side of
     the world.

     And, of course, you just "chat," because you have no time to think.
     There'll be 18 messages before you finish your thought-out reply --
     and those 18 messages are just chat, too.  So you have interactive
     content. But the interest is only what happens to come to mind at
     the moment. Chat.

     So that leaves Usenet and email lists.

     Usenet is sort of a good news, bad news proposition.  It had the
     potential to do what BBSing does, but the SysAdmins and news-haulers
     decided to take no responsibility for it, and now the
     signal-to-noise ratio is less than one IMHO.

     Internet email lists.  I run a couple off my BBS in fact.  A number
     of Echoes are gated to mail lists.  Doesn't necessarily hurt.  But
     email clients aren't meant for dealing with multiple divisions of
     content.  So for years now, email client programmers have been
     struggling with ways to make an email client do what offline readers
     have been doing for maybe a decade.  And it's still painful to watch
     -- the technology intrudes on the communication.

     I doubt most folks will disagree with this stuff.  But how does this
     relate back to getting new users?

     We have a better way of structuring multiple-topic messaging content
     that's managed in a reasonably secure fashion.  But new folks aren't
     finding that out.  We're losing existing users, because we don't
     have the influx of new users to create new content.  Because we
     aren't telling them we're here.  Because they aren't asking us
     anymore.

     It's unfair to present a problem without presenting an option that
     could be a solution.  Short version?  Tell people.

     Which people?  The web-surfers?  They're looking for those canned
     machine responses, and getting them.  The Web's good at that, and
     that's a fine thing.  That's why I use it myself.

     The IRC chatters and Instant Messagers?  Well sort of, only because
     they're reachable there.  But their interest would arise only
     because of what else they do.

     That leaves the Usenet folks and the Maillist folks.  The maillist
     folks, who are trying to get that interesting interactive content
     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 5                   21 Feb 2000


     from human beings, but who are struggling with an interface that
     makes such interaction chaotic and confusing.  And the Usenet folks,
     who have a tool that -should- work, but who can't get past all the
     useless dreck because of Usenet "traditions" that amount to
     mismanagement IMHO.

     Contact those people.  Not by creating new Websites, new newsgroups,
     new maillists,  that won't be used by people who don't already know
     about BBSing.  Wander into other lists on other topics of interest
     to you, and say "Ya know, there's a better way."

     Don't be part of the problem by interfering with the content of the
     list.  Do it the same way you'd promote one maillist while on
     another. A small sig on the bottom.

     If it promotes interest, discuss it further in private email.  Then
     maybe move the discussion to a list where discussion of finding and
     using a BBS is on topic.  The people you reach that way will be the
     still-curious new users of the Internet, who are also the folks who
     will be asked "How do I use my computer?" because they're still out
     their talking about the Swell Stuff They Found.

     Use the Internet, partly via the old Telnet option but also by other
     methods, to move those neatly organized, carefully managed, multiple
     topic message groups, without sacrificing the organization and
     management that makes that content what it is, and what it isn't.

     If you build it, they will come, but only if they -know- you built
     it. Get the content into the hands of the people you want to reach,
     and that allows you to inform them of the other, better ways of
     getting that content.

     Now I'm going to throw in something that some folks will hate.  I
     hope it's clear that if this is a lousy idea, that doesn't mean the
     rest of what I said is wrong.

     I'm thinking about (but may never do) a one-way QWK packet
     distribution. No REP's being accepted back that way, just QWK's
     going out.  The technical aspects are simple; it's been done before.
     I could easily do it here.  Thing is, since no replies are posted by
     firing off REP's at an email address, the inbound security is still
     there -- you can't reply without logging onto the BBS and uploading
     your REP packet.

     It works for the same reason some Cable modem systems work.  A lot
     more moves out than goes in.  A lot of people recieve the same
     content, but each individual only creates a little bit.  Even if
     they're calling LD, they're only on for a moment to upload.  And if
     they're local, or if they're Telnetting, or if Money Is No Object
     <grin>, they're -there- on the board, and are just liable to look
     around and see what there is to see...

     Now I gotta go grab my asbestos longjohns outa the closet...  <grin>

      MM> Removing ZMH is not going to bring back one node or user. Let's
      MM> concentrate on the real reasons.
     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 6                   21 Feb 2000


     That I agree with, to a point.  Keep ZMH as a courtesy, willingly
     provided by those Sysops who can do it, to the extent that it adds
     to the functionality of the network.  Dispose of it as a requirement
     for those who can't provide it but who -can- still effectively move
     messages.  If you aren't recieving Direct Netmail, ZMH is more a
     ritual than a technical requirement.

     I would suspect that would require a new nodelist flag, or a change
     in the use of an old one, so folks aren't sending netmail to someone
     who can't recieve it.  OTOH, even without ZMH as such, there's no
     reason you'd be unable to try sending netmail during that hour.

     Look at a CM system.  With ZMH, you try to send Direct Netmail.
     Either you connect and can send the mail, or you can't connect
     because somebody else is already connected (sending Netmail).
     Without ZMH, you try to send Direct Netmail.  Either you connect and
     can send the mail, or you can't connect because somebody else is
     already connected (sending Netmail or doing something else).

     The only differeence is what the -other person- is doing.  What you
     see on your end, trying to send the Direct Netmail, is not different
     at all. ZMH may or may not increase your chances of connecting.  But
     with CM, you can always connect an hour later and get the same
     message to the same person.  What the heck, they won't read it till
     they wake up, anyway.

     Am I wrong?


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 7                   21 Feb 2000


     =================================================================
                           LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
     =================================================================


                               The Appallation
                          Email from David Hallford
                            hallford@thevision.net

        In response to Lesley-Dee Dylan's response to  Jim Rysyk's
     article I must say that I am appalled by Lesley-Dee's improper use
     of language.

        The word which should have been used is "you" not "off". Although
     "off" is applicable in many instances, I think that this particular
     instance requires a more personal response. "off" is a more generic
     response and it is obvious from the context that Lesley-Dee's
     response was more personal than generic - ergo she should have use
     "you".

        I am surprised that you didn't catch this one and have Lesley-Dee
     resubmit.


                                            with warm regards,
                                                                    Dave

     ---------------

     Editor's Response:

      Keep in mind that the use of the term "you" would have constituted
      a personal offer, which I don't think was intended.  The use of the
      term "off" clearly indicated that that particular mode of operation
      was unavailable to the original author.

      Remember the cultural differences here, David.  Lesley-Dee posts
      from the Fidonews Canadian City Desk and employs local Canadian
      hocky colloquialisms.  We foreigners are not expected to supervise
      such subtleties which we are not equipped to understand.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------


                              Poor little child
                                Frice@USA.Com

     In FidoNews 17/7, I read the unfortunate rant posted as "Notice of
     Suit, email from 'The Hunter' <chasers1@netzero.net>'" and was
     fondly reminded of Steve Winter and his bizarre rants about "corrupt
     Fidonet Officials."  These poor little fellows -- after they
     profoundly lose an argument in a public forum -- start spouting off,
     trying to make their petty little selves sound like they're powerful
     and threatening lawyers, stuffing their unfortunate rants with
     freakishly disjointed legal-sounding rhetoric, doing their best to
     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 8                   21 Feb 2000


     try to pretend they actually know what the fuck they're sputtering
     impotantly about.  It's amusing in a child, I suppose, yet not so
     amusing in an adult.

     Is this further evidence of the decline of FidoNet?  Or has FidoNet
     always had these unfortunate individuals walking these
     cyberhallways?

     Fredric L. Rice
     1:218/890.0
     (626) 335 9601
     http://www.linkline.com/personal/frice/index.htm

     ---------------

     Editor:  I doubt that this is evidence of the decline of Fidonet.
     If so, Fido has been doomed since the beginning - or, at least, I
     don't remember a time when there wasn't some huperactive complainer
     "sharing" his thoughts wit us.  Like the proverbial poor,
     complainers will be with us always.



     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 9                   21 Feb 2000


     =================================================================
                                  COLUMNS
     =================================================================


                                This Weeks Web Page
                                   by Frank Vest
                                   1:124/6308(.1)

     Where: http://www.hilgraeve.com/
     What: HyperTerminal Private Edition (Hilgraeve)


     Comment:

      In this day of the Internet, we are trying to get some Users back
     to our BBS' and promote them to the public (Internet and otherwise).
     One thing we often forget as we "dress up" our systems, advertize
     who we are, what a BBS is and where to find the phone number to our,
     as well as other, BBS' is, "Ok... I got the phone number and I think
     this BBS thing might be fun... HOW THE HECK DO I CALL IT?!?" :-)


     The "meat" of it:

      Hilgraeve is a commercial site. As such, it does have it's "main
     line" software highlighted. of course. The page promotes "DropChute"
     towards the top of the page. I have no idea what this software does,
     but that isn't the interest we should have in the page anyhow.

      HyperTerminal Private Edition is what we are talking about here.
     Towards the bottom of the main page is a link to the HyperTerminal
     Private Edition program. This is a freeware program that has shipped
     with Windows for a long time. It's not the most popular terminal
     program around and has drawn some critics over the years. It is,
     however, free and provided with the operating systems most used by
     potential New Callers to BBS'.

      On the plus side, this software is still developed. It has a
     Windows and OS/2 version and the HyperACCESS version which is a pay
     product. I understand that there are fonts available to make
     HyperTerminal work better on BBS'. I don't have the link to get
     these, but maybe someone can provide it. Also, the HyperTerminal
     program offered here is an "upgrade" to the one shipped with Windows
     and OS/2.

      Looking over the Hilgraeve site, it is nice. not a lot of graphics
     to slow things down and well organized as well. I'd suggest that all
     BBS pages provide a link to this site. You might not like the
     program, but it is available to your potential "New Callers".

     flv@texoma.net


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 10                  21 Feb 2000


     =================================================================
                            COORDINATORS CORNER
     =================================================================


                         Zone 3 Zone Mail Hour change
                                Malcolm Miles
                             Zone 3 Co-ordinator
                                  3:633/260

     As from the 26th March 2000, the Zone 3 Zone Mail Hour (ZMH) will be
     moved back one hour to 1700 UTC. This translates to the following
     local times:

     Region 55 - WA        1:00am - 2:00am
     Region 51 - NT, SA    2:30am - 3:30am
     Region 54 - Qld, NSW  3:00am - 4:00am
     Region 50 - Vic, Tas  3:00am - 4:00am
     Region 57 - NZ        5:00am - 6:00am

     This change was requested by Region 57 NZ sysops who were concerned
     about their BBS users being unable to access the BBS before heading
     off to work or school. This was because ZMH was falling between 7am
     and 8am during the daylight saving period. Moving ZMH back an hour
     will allow users to call the BBS during this time and should help to
     stem the loss of users to other networks.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 11                  21 Feb 2000


     =================================================================
                                 NET HUMOR
     =================================================================

     The Universe According To Dilbert
     By Scott Adams

     *Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or
      evil. But you still don't want to get any on you.

     *You are without romance or mirth... You must be an engineer.

     *The status of a temp is somewhere between that of a security guard
      and the crud behind the refrigerator.

     *I used to feel guilty about smashing bugs until I realized it's a
      sport.

     *And in the news... Body parts were strewn for miles... Check your
      sandwich.

     *Our company does not discriminate on the basis of race, sex, age,
      or religion... unless the religions are bizarre and unpopular and
      can be considered cults (and so may be freely discriminated
      against), or you are a short, fat, bald, ugly guy (and can be picked
      on without restraint), or are a nerd, smoker, or single person.
      Stupid people may now also be discriminated against due to the
      failure of their lobbying efforts.

     *I used to be clueless but I've turned that situation around 360
      degrees.

     *Trying to attain vast power & world domination again?! Bad dog! Bad
      dog!

     *There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

     *All your problems are caused by invisible people. To eliminate your
      problems, all you need to do is find them and kill them.

     *Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over
      those who don't. And there will be a special name for them:
      secretaries.

     *In the next hour, you will learn how to cope with guilt the Dogbert
      way. And if you don't, well, it turns out I get paid anyway.

     *Running feels awful, but it will let you live longer... So, life
      will feel awful, but at least it will last longer.

     *Before you defeat the competition, you must first subjugate the
      other departments.

     *It's not a cult. Think of it as a gang of morons who have nothing
      better to do with their lives.

     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 12                  21 Feb 2000


     *Hello! This is a long-distance phone company with vague promises of
      unverifiable savings if you switch to us. Is this a convenient time
      for you? No? OK, we'll call back later.

     *If you have everything, gloat. When that gets boring, start your
      own line of perfumes.

     *If you touch any key, our software will lock up. Call us and we'll
      blame it on Microsoft.

     *Always put off dealing with time-wasting morons. If you would like
      to know how... I'll get back to you on that.

     *There's more to science than just hurting small animals, but it's
      the part that's the most fun.

     *What do you call a dog that's been run over by a steamroller? Spot.

     *Knowledge is power... But power corrupts... And corruption is a
      crime... And crime doesn't pay... So if you keep on studying you'll
      go broke!

     *Nature has a way of compensating for weaknesses, which is why
      stupid people have big mouths.

     *Time slows down as you approach the speed of light... But time
      flies when you're having fun... So if you walk slower, do you have
      more fun or do you just get more light?

     *It is said that man's ability to reason that separates him from
      mere animals, but then again the animal kingdom has no equivalent
      to "championship wrestling."

     *One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

     *If you haven't accomplished anything so far, then your best days
      are likely to be ahead of you. But then, you should consider your
      track record.

     *Intelligence has much less practical application than you'd think.

     *Used car salesmen are not in it for the money. They just like lying
      to strangers.

     *To become one with your computer is to reach a state of...
      nerdvana.

     *When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, humanity is doomed.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 13                  21 Feb 2000


     =================================================================
                              COMIX IN ASCII
     =================================================================


     Even more udderly cool cows...


                                                          \    /
              |\/|                   {___}                 \__/
              (oo)                   ( * )                 (--)
       /-------\/ V          /--------\Q/          /--------\/
      / |     ||__|         / |      ||           / |     ||
     *  ||----|            *  ||-----||          *  ||----||
        ^^    ^               --     --             --    --
     Cow from Vulcan     Smoking 1-eyed cow    Cow w/ rabbit ears



                                 |\__|\
                                 | 00 |
                            \---<( -- )>---/
                             \    |--|    /
                              \__/    \--/
                                (      )
                                |      |
                                --------
                                 ||  ||
                                 nn  nn
                     This cow just found out she's being
                     exCOWmunicated because she wasn't up
                     during Zone Milking Hour.




        (__)  (__)   (__) (__)(__)    (__) (__)(__)(__)  (__)
        (oo(__)oo) (__)o) (oo)((__)(__)oo) (__)(o(__)o)(__)o)(__)
         \/(oo)\/  (oo)/(__)/  (oo)(oo)\/  (oo) \(oo)/ (oo)/ (oo)
            \/      \/  (oo)    \/  \/      \/    \/    \/    \/
                         \/
                             a cowngregation


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 14                  21 Feb 2000


     =================================================================
                               FIDONEWS INFO
     =================================================================

                                   Masthead

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     | Editor:     Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, DougM@paonline.com       |
     | Webmaster:  Jim Barchuk, jb@fidonews.org                       |
     | Columnist:  Joe Jared, 1:103/0, jarhead@osirusoft.com          |
     |             (Fido Via Internet Hubs column)                    |
     | Columnist:  Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, wdbonner@pacbell.net  |
     |             (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB")                |
     | Humor:      Roy Reed, rcreed@juno.com                          |
     | Features:   Frank Vest, 1:124/6308.1                           |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -  EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     |       Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince         |
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     |       Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink          |
     |                                                                |
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     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     FIDONEWS 17-08               Page 15                  21 Feb 2000


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