      F I D O N E W S         Volume 17, Number 01             03 Jan 2000 
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     |  The newsletter of the     |   ISSN 1198-4589 Published by:        |
     |    FidoNet community       |   "FidoNews"                          |
     |          _                 |   1-717-732-6820     1:270/720        |
     |         /  \               |                                       |
     |        /|oo \              |                                       |
     |       (_|  /_)             |                                       |
     |        _`@/_ \    _        |                                       |
     |       |     | \   \\       |   Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720    |
     |       | (*) |  \   ))      |           DougM@paonline.com          |
     |       |__U__| /  \//       |                                       |
     |        _//|| _\   /        |                                       |
     |       (_/(_|(____/         |                                       |
     |             (jm)           |   Newspapers should have no friends.  |
     |                            |                    -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     


                        Table of Contents
     1. EDITORIAL  ................................................  1
        Broken Filebone  ..........................................  1
     2. GUEST EDITORIAL  ..........................................  2
        My Thoughts on Fidonet  ...................................  2
     3. ARTICLES  .................................................  5
        Are They Really Gone?  ....................................  5
     4. COLUMNS  ..................................................  6
        Fidonet-related sites  ....................................  6
        Ol'WDB: Mathematical Explanation  .........................  9
     5. NET HUMOR  ................................................ 11
        Ten Commandments  ......................................... 11
        Surgery  .................................................. 11
     6. COMIX IN ASCII  ........................................... 12
        Cow-lliope in the Circus Parade  .......................... 12
     7. ADVERTISE YOUR FREE SERVICE/EVENT  ........................ 13
        It's a Web Page  .......................................... 13
     8. FIDONEWS INFORMATION  ..................................... 15
        Masthead  ................................................. 15
     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 1                    3 Jan 2000


     =================================================================
                                 EDITORIAL
     =================================================================


                               Broken Filebone
                                  Doug Myers

     Welcome to the first edition of Fidonews in the year 2000.
     Hopefully, you all will be getting a copy of this millennium
     edition, because there are at least two barriers to distribution
     right now.

     The first is with my system.  I was overjoyed when the year 2000
     rolled over and the mail I wrote appeared to be correctly dated, the
     old copy of Front Door 2.02 appeared to move it just fine, and the
     computer was still up.  Then I discovered that the external utility
     used to post Fidonews to the FIDONEWS echo incorrectly dated the
     mail.  Fortunately, Peter Karlsson's Azure 300 utility correctly
     dates the messages used to post Fidonews, so we'll give it a try for
     a while.

     The second is that the FILEBONE appears to be broken in the middle.
     Ever since the NAB and the Z1B established a new link (Matt
     Bedynek/Ken Wilson) to replace the old link (John Souvestre/George
     Peace), some or all FILEBONE files haven't been flowing back and
     forth.  Two weeks ago, I began distributing Fidonews through John
     Souvestre, who promptly distributed it to the systems associated
     with the Z1B.  Bob Seaborn noticed Fidonews was not showing up on
     the NAB side, so he FTP'd a copy from Souvestre's system and
     distributed it.  Until the FILEBONE is repaired, I'll be crashing a
     ticked copy of Fidonews to both John Souvestre and Bob Seaborn, both
     of whom have bent over backwards to keep Fidonews flowing.

     Theoretically, the FILEBONE is a seperate entity from any of the
     echomail backbones.  However, files have traditionally followed
     echomail paths at the zone distribution level.  I'm not sure why
     Matt and Ken have changed that - I've not had an opportunity to
     discuss it with either - but there's nothing but tradition and the
     spirit of cooperation to make them move files along with echomail.
     Here's hoping that they either agree to move files or the FILEBONE
     sets up an alternative path.



     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 2                    3 Jan 2000


     =================================================================
                              GUEST EDITORIAL
     =================================================================


                            My Thoughts on Fidonet
                                Darrell Salter
                                    1:12/0

     This is the second edition of "My Thoughts on Fidonet", the original
     being written a couple of years ago when I was the NC (Network
     Coordinator) of Net 229. Things have played out pretty much as I
     predicted then, and it is interesting to look back and see just what
     has transpired since. I almost left Fidonet back then, but after
     some prompting from a few of the good folks in Region 12, I decided
     to return to see if I could help.

     What has happened since the first incarnation of "My Thoughts"? Not
     much. Fidonet continues to shrink, P4 is still in place, Zone 1 has
     a new Zone Coordinator, and the old Zone Coordinator has become the
     International Coordinator. Yeesh!

     Fidonet in Zone #1 continues to die as nodes disappear. The node
     list is still populated with downed nodes that are, for the most
     part, unreachable. Why? Same deal. "The Internet has decimated
     Fidonet, and that will continue to be the trend until we have just
     the diehards left. Anyone else is kidding themselves."

     It is still my opinion that the people we hoped would lead us into
     the 21st century have failed us miserably. At the top of the list is
     the IC (International Coordinator), Bob Satti. He has taken his
     "plays the fiddle while Rome burns" philosophy to the IC slot, and
     is just as useless there as he was in the Z1C seat. Sorry Bob, I
     still call them as I see them.

     Next would be, naturally, the ZCs. They too, do little to promote
     this great hobby of ours, and I consider the Z1C a friend of mine,
     so it pains me to to say this. Still, the ills of Fidonet are not
     being addressed with sufficient energy from the top, and if the head
     dies, the body follows.

     What's to be done? I said this last time, and it's still true today
     -- "P4 and it's power-mongering structure created an unhealthy
     environment for sysops. People don't want to be ruled over when it
     comes to their free time and hobbies. If we look at making a choice
     between the Internet, and it's free and open, unaccountable
     environment, and Fidonet, with it's Elflords and power-trippers, the
     choice for hobbiests becomes clear, and the Internet wins hands
     down. The *C structure needed to dethrone themselves and throw the
     doors wide open years ago if we were to progress and keep interest.
     That didn't happen, and it has resulted in what we have today. It's
     a crying shame."

     Tom Jennings predicted this, and lo and behold, he was right. The
     *Cs are nodelist clerks, not administrative seats of power.

     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 3                    3 Jan 2000


     "I don't blame sysops for their lack of support for the people with
     vision. Why should they care? As long as they get their favorite
     echos, they are free to go surfing on the Internet to have fun. If
     they had to make a choice between Fidonet and the Internet, Fidonet
     would die immediately. If the mail-movers ever pulled up stakes,
     Fidonet would die immediately. Many have done exactly that. This
     thing is in a coma and on life support, and people like us are
     keeping it alive, hoping for a recovery. The prognosis is not good."

     Since I first said that, we have lost gryn.org, a Fidonet gateway
     that served many, many systems.

     "Here's why. Look at it this way, if you have a computer and a modem
     and enough time to enjoy a hobby, what are you going to choose? The
     Internet with all it has to offer; email, web sites, chat rooms,
     search engines, FTP, video streaming, real-time features, and
     millions of people to interact with the world over? Or Fidonet, with
     it's power-trippers, policy documents and rules, difficult
     configurations, dead or dying echos, and dead end phone numbers? Who
     in their right mind would choose Fidonet? People have voted with
     their feet, and the Internet is the big winner, Fidonet the big
     loser."

     And Fidonet continues to lose. I see it every day in the Z1C and
     FN_SYSOP echos. Bull-headed, egotistical power-trippers that
     continue to be condescending to the average sysop, while doing
     little to actually change this thing for the better.

     "The only chance Fidonet has in my opinion, is to pull down it's
     hierarchy, embrace the Internet, and flood it with what we have left
     of the telnettable systems and web sites, and get up to speed with
     html/cgi message bases and BBSes, and start implementing the
     Internet technologies. The nodelist needs to be redesigned to
     accomodate Internet sites immediately. There are some people that
     have the right idea, such as the Fidonet Web Ring, which links
     Fidonet systems and BBSes around the world on the Internet. But make
     no mistake, even if we embrace the Internet, as soon as we try to
     impose the ludicrous standards and power tripping mentality our
     present administration has imposed on us, to the people of the
     Internet, we'll lose them too, and it'll finally be over."

     To his credit, the present Z1C, David Moufarrege, has seen the
     light, and is actively promoting the Internet as a viable means of
     transport for our product. He has initiated a transformation of the
     nodelist to include Internet systems. He is also attempting to
     re-write P4 into P-somethingelse. He is to be applauded for his
     efforts. I don't agree with him 100%, but at least he's trying.

     "Again, the only chance is to pull down Satti and the Elflords,
     embrace the Internet as our last chance for survival, and encourage
     people like David Hallford and Dave Hamilton to address the issues
     of bringing the nodelist to the Internet and into the 20th century.
     We need to encourage people like Shawn (Tiny) Highfield, to continue
     to develop Internet tools for BBS systems. We need to encourage the
     gateways systems like the Northern and Southern Stars, to continue
     to develop Internet strategies for distribution of our product. We
     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 4                    3 Jan 2000


     need to seek out people with vision and put them into the positions
     to make it all happen. Our failure to seek out the right people will
     be our epitath. Until I see that happen, we'll continue to slide
     deeper into our coma, and eventually even life support will fail."

     Since I wrote that, David Hallford and Dave Hamilton are no longer
     in Fidonet. Shawn Highfield barely keeps a Fidonet system current
     and involved. George Peace, a senior Fidonet statesman has pulled
     down his Fidonet Gateway, and instead of continuing to develop
     Internet strategies, most of the "Stars" have indulged themselves in
     bitterness, bickering, and backbiting as they fight over what sysops
     are left. Other major hubs and distribution points have become
     complacent or overbearing (there is no shortage of egomaniacs in
     Fidonet). The end is closer than ever, perilously close, and now we
     are at the year 2000. That's bound to kill off some more Fidonet
     nodes as old softwares croak on the date changes.

     Doesn't look good, does it?


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 5                    3 Jan 2000


     =================================================================
                                 ARTICLES
     =================================================================


                            ARE THEY REALLY GONE?
                               Lesley-Dee Dylan
                                  1:250/201

     Much has been said about former members of FidoNet and why they
     left, but have they ever completely left, or are we still in their
     hearts?

     I recently heard from an old friend, Luke Kolin.  He was, years ago,
     Region 12 Coordinator, and for many years NC and/or NEC of Net 250.
     How did he contact me?  By looking me up in the Toronto phone book?
     By looking in the Fido nodelist for my BBS number?  No - he sent an
     email to Snooze editor Douglas Myers, asking for my email address.

     How many others of our old companions continue to read our Snooze?
     If you are out there lurking, please let us hear from you.  Have you
     moved to another city, or another country?  Did you feel you had
     outgrown Fido as you reached maturity, and moved on, but still miss
     the comraderie, or the squabbles?  Tell us.  Send an email to
     Douglas (address on the masthead) or to me at hippy@to.org.  There
     are many who would like to hear from you.

     For those who remember Luke, he is now living and working in
     Atlanta.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 6                    3 Jan 2000


     =================================================================
                                  COLUMNS
     =================================================================


     ! = New entries this week
     ? = not responding
     ?? = unknown content, doesn't look like fidonet

                       . -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- .
                       |    FIDONET-RELATED SITES    |
                       ` -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- '
                          Last update:  Dec 26, 1999

     FidoNet
     Homepage:     http://www.fidonet.org
     FidoNews:     http://www.fidonews.org   [HTML]
                   ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/
                   ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/
     !Echomail links: http://www.osirusoft.com/fidoip.html
     SDS Files:    http://fidobbs.dk/download (Web Access to SDS)
     FTSC page:    http://www.ftsc.org/
     General:      http://owls.com/~jerrys/fidonet.html
     List server:
         http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/fidonet-discussion

     Zone 1:       http://www.z1.fidonet.org
       Region 10:  http://www.psnw.com/~net205/region10.html
                   http://www.tnl-online.com/andy/rgn10.htm
         Net 103:  http://www.webworldinc.com/club103/
         Net 203:  http://www.geocities.com/Area51/8687/net203index.html
       Region 11:  http://oeonline.com/~garyg/region11/
        Net 2410:  http://oeonline.com/~garyg/net2410/
       Region 12:  http://sparkys.dyndns.org
       Region 13:  http://www.net264.org/r13.htm
         Net 264:  http://www.net264.org/
         Net 275:  http://www.homershut.net/~mahoover/net275/
       Region 14:
         Net 282:  http://www.rxn.com/~net282/
       Region 17:  http://www.nwstar.com/~region17/
       Region 18:  http://techshop.pdn.net/fido/
       Region 19:  http://members.home.net/hbh3/r19
         Net 124:  http://www.startext.net/np/net124
                   http://texoma.net/~flv
         Net 130:  http://www.startext.net/homes/net130
         Net 393:  http://www.chatter.com/~wb/
     Zone 1 Elist  http://members.xoom.com/echolist/

     Zone 2:       http://www.z2.fidonet.org
                   ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/zone2 (Z2 nodelists etc.)
       Region 20:  http://www.fidonet.pp.se (in Swedish)
       Region 23:  http://www.fido.dk (in Danish)

       Region 24:  http://www.swb.de/personal/flop/gatebau.html (German)
         Fido-IP:  http://home.nrh.de/fido/ (English/German)
       Region 25:  http://www.literary.freeserve.co.uk/net2502/
     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 7                    3 Jan 2000


       Region 26:  http://www.nemesis.ie
          REC 26:  http://www.nrgsys.com/orb
       Region 27:  http://telematique.org/ft/r27.htm
       Region 29:  http://www.rtfm.be/fidonet/  (French)
       Region 30:  http://www.fidonet.ch  (German)
     ? Region 33:  http://www.fidoitalia.net  (Italian)
       Region 34:  http://www.pobox.com/cnb/r34.htm  (Spanish)
           REC34:  http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/4552/
       Region 36:  http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/7207/
       Region 38:  http://public.st.carnet.hr/~blagi/bbs/adriam.html
       Region 41:  http://www.fidonet.gr (Greek/English)
       Region 42:  http://www.fido.cz
       Region 50:  http://www.fido7.com/  (Russian)
        Net 5010:  http://fido.tu-chel.ac.ru/  (Russian)
        Net 5015:  http://www.fido.nnov.ru/  (Russian)
        Net 5030:  http://kenga.ru/fido/  (Russian & English)
        Net 5049:  http://www.n5049.z2.fidonet.org  (English/Russian)
     ??  Net 5085:  http://www.fidonet.uz/ (Russian)

     Zone 3:       http://www.z3.fidonet.org

     Zone 4:
       Region 80:  http://fidobrasil.8m.com  (Portuguese)
       Region 90:
         Net 904:  http://members.tripod.com/~net904 (Spanish)

     Zone 5:       http://www.eastcape.co.za/fidonet/

     Zone 6:       http://www.z6.fidonet.org
       Region 65:  http://www.cfido.com/fidonet/cfidochina.html
                   (Chinese)


                          Fidonet Via Internet Hubs

     See also: http://www.osirusoft.com/fidoip.html

     a @ preceding an individual's name implies a virtual email
     address. The email is translated as follows
     firstlast@osirusoft.com will automatically route to the
     appropriate individual's email.  Anyone in this list will
     also receive routed notice of this feature.  In my case, it
     would still be joejared@osirusoft.com, but you get the idea.

     Also, as information is provided to me, I will be adding a
     latency field to each node, which is defined as the maximum
     time between when the message is received, and when it is
     sent on to other nodes, or available to be sent onward,
     defined in minutes. A latency of ! implies that there is an
     immediate response, and an attempt to deliver immediately
     after processing, or a "MinuteMail System", as it were.

                v-email flag firstnamelastname@osirusoft.com
                | email address or
     Node#      | Operator          | Facilities (*) | Speed,| Basic Rate
                |                   |                |latency|
     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 8                    3 Jan 2000


     -----------+-------------------+----------------+-------+------------
     Zone 1     |                   |                |       |
       10/3     @ Brenda Donovan    | FTP,UUE,BinkP  | 384K,30| $??/$10
       10/345   @ Todd Cochrane     | FTP,BinkP      | T1,!  | n/c
       12/12    @ Ken Wilson        | FTP            | T1    | $24mo.
       13/25    @ Jim Balcom        | FTP            | 56k   | $20mo.
      103/5     @ Mark Luetger      | BinkP          | 384k,!| n/c
      103/153   @ Michael Box       | BinkP          | aDSL,!| n/c
      103/301   @ Joe Jared         | BinkP,FTP      | aDSL,!| n/c
      103/401   @ Warren Bonner     | BinkP          | aDSL,!| n/c
      105/8     | Russ Johnson      | FTP,BinkP,VMoT | 384k  | n/c
      105/72    @ Larry James       | FTP            | aDSL  | $5/$15 mo
      106/1     @ Matt Bedynek      | BinkP, FTP     | DS-3,5| $5/$15 mo
      106/6018  | Lawrence Garvin   | FTP, VMoT      | aDSL,60| n/c
      107/453   @ Jeffrey Estevez| FTP,BinkP,VMoT,UUE| 56k,60| $10 mo.
      140/1     @ Bob Seaborn       | FTP            | T3,30 | $5/$16
      167/133   | Stephen Monteith  | BinkP          | 128k+ | n/c
      211/417   @ Korombos          | BinkP,UUE,FTP  | T1    | n/c
      218/109   @ Matt Munson       | BinkP,UUE      | 33.6k | n/c
      244/2     | Kari Suomela   | FTP,VMoT,BinkP,UUE| T1,!  | $25.00/mo
      246/160   @ Mason Vye         | FTP, UUE       | 56K   | n/c
      271/140   @ Tom Barstow       | UUE,FTP        | T1    | n/c
      280/169   | Brian Greenstreet | FTP            | 33.6  | $2mo.
      342/3     @ Richard Dodsworth | BinkP,FTP      | 128K+ | n/c
      395/670   | Arthur Stark      | BinkD,FTP      | 128k  | n/c
      396/1     @ John Souvestre    | FTP,VMoT       | T1,10 | $5/mo
      396/45    | Marc Lewis        | UUE            | 33.6  | $26/yr
     2604/104   @ Jim Mclaughlin    | FTP,VMoT,UUE   | 33.6  | $1mo
     2613/404   @ David Moufarrege  | BinkP,FTP,VMoT | 128k+,!| n/c
     2624/306   @ David Calafrancesco  | VMoT        | 33.6  | n/c
     3613/2     @ jyates@bsdi.ldl.net | UUE            | 28.8  | n/c
     3632/84    | Robert Todd    |FTP,VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 57.6k | n/c
     3639/93    @ Ross Cassell      | FTP, BinkP     |128K+,!| n/c
     3651/9     @ Jerry Gause       | FTP,VMoT       | 33.6  | $3/$6
     --------------------------------------------------------------
     Zone 2     |
       20/11    | Henrik Lindhe     | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
       31/1     | Gabriel Plutzar   | BinkP          | T1+   | n/c
      203/600   | Mikael Karlsson   | UUE            | 64k   | n/c
      221/360   @ Tommi Koivula     | BinkP,UUE      | ???   | n/c
      236/205   @ Michael Kaaber    | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      246/2098  | Volker Imre       | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      284/800   @ Jeroen VanDeLeur  | FTP,UUE        | 64k   | n/c
      292/626   | Filip Ruymen      | Binkp, UUE     | 128K+ | n/c
      292/2003  | Eric Vaneberck    | BinkP          | 768k  | n/c
      301/1     | Peter Witschi     | BinkP          | 768k  | n/c
      332/807   | Roberto Mascolo   | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      335/535   @ Mario Mure        | BinkP,VMot,UUE | 64k   | n/c
      335/610   | Gino Lucrezi      | UUE            | 33.6  | n/c
      344/201   | Julio Garcia      | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      346/3     @ Carlos Navarro    | UUE            | ???   | n/c
      382/100   | Sinisa Burina     | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      406/555   | Ofir Michaeli &   | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      406/555   | Marius Kaizerman  | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      423/81    | Milos Bajer       | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      464/4077  | Serguei Trouchelle| UUE            | 19.2  | n/c
     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 9                    3 Jan 2000


      465/204   | Va Milushnikov    | BinkP          | 33.6k | n/c
      469/84    | Max Masyutin      | VMoT           | 256k  | n/c
      480/112   | Adam Sarapata| FTP, VMoT, UUE,BinkP| 128k  | n/c
     2411/413   @ Dennis Dittrich   | UUE,BinkP      | 64k   | n/c
     2446/301   | Lothar Behet | BinkP,VMoT,UUE,FTP  | 64K   | n/c
     2474/275   | Christian Emig    | UUE            | 64k   | unkn
     5030/115   | Andrey Podkolzin  | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
     5100/8     | Egons Bush        | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
     5020/1159  | Gennady Kudryashoff | UUE          | 33.6  | n/c
     --------------------------------------------------------------
     Zone 3
      633/260   @ Malcolm Miles     | FTP,BinkP      | 64K   | n/c
      640/954   | Rick Van Ruth     | FTP,VMot,UUE,BinkP| 56K| n/c
      774/605   @ Barry Blackford|BinkP,VMoT:10023,ifcico,FTP |33.6| n/c

     --------------------------------------------------------------
     Zone 4
      905/100   | Fabian Gervan     | VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 128k  | n/c
      902/18    | Javier Tejedor    | UUE            | 33,6  | n/c

     --
     * FTP   = Internet File Transfer Protocol
     * VMoT  = Virtual Mailer over Telnet (various)
     * UUE   = uuencode<->email type transfers
     * BinkP = front end mailer for TCPIP networks

     ----------------------------------------------
     Fidonet oriented news servers

     news.osirusoft.com
     news.tardis.net

     Fidonet oriented chat rooms.

     room #fidonet  5PM (PDT 11AM GMT) Sundays
     irc.isonline.com
     irc.killaz-r-us.com
     irc.korombos.org


     ----------------------------------------------

     Please send updates, corrections and suggestions to
     Joe Jared, 1:103/301, joejared@osirusoft.com, and
     complaints to jarhead@osirusoft.com .


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

         Mathematical Explanation as to Why Idiots often get Promoted
                                    Ol'WDB

     In case you've ever wondered why ignorance rises to the executive
     level, here is a simple explanation that is also a mathematical
     proof.

     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 10                   3 Jan 2000


     Also if you get big pay raises, maybe someone is trying to tell you
     something.

     1. Knowledge is Power
     2. Time is Money and,
        as every engineer knows:
     3. Work/Power = Time

         If Knowledge = Power,
         and  Time = Money
         then #3 becomes:
        3a. Work/Knowledge = Money
        or,
        3b. Money = Work/Knowledge

     Thus Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches zero,
     regardless of the Work done.
     What this means is:
     The LESS you Know, the MORE you Make!


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 11                   3 Jan 2000


     =================================================================
                                 NET HUMOR
     =================================================================

                               Ten Commandments
                              Thanks to Roy Reed
                               rcreed@juno.com


     My uncle spent days looking for the new hat he lost. Finally, he
     decided that he'd go to church on Sunday and sit at the back. During
     the service he would sneak out and grab a hat from the rack at the
     front door.

     On Sunday, he went to church and sat at the back. The sermon was
     about the 10 Commandments. He sat through the whole sermon and
     instead of sneaking out he went to talk to the minister.

     He said to the minister, "Father, I came here today to steal a hat
     to replace the one I lost. But after hearing your sermon on the 10
     Commandments, I changed my mind."

     The minister said, "Bless you my son. Was it when I started to
     preach thou shall not steal, that changed your heart?"

     My uncle responded, "No, it was the one on adultery. When you
     started to preach on that, I remembered where I left my hat."


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

                                   Surgery
                               Thanks to Ol'WDB

     A man goes to the doctor complaining that one of his testicles has
     turned blue. After examination the doctor tells his patient that the
     testicle has to be removed to save his life. With some reluctance
     the operation is performed.

     Two weeks later the second testicle has turned blue. Again it's
     either death or amputation so the second testicle goes.

     Another two weeks pass and the penis has turned blue. Now the penis
     must go.

     "But how will I pee?"

     "We'll install a plastic tube."

     More time passes and the patient is back again. This time the
     plastic tube has turned blue.

     "Hmmm. Maybe it's the new blue jeans."


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     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 12                   3 Jan 2000


     =================================================================
                              COMIX IN ASCII
     =================================================================

              ______________________
             |                      |\
             |       (__)           | |
             |       (oo)           | |
             |        \/            | |
             |       / \ \          | |
            /////////   \_ \_///////  |
             |     |     /          | |                           (__)
             |   /++++++<           | |                      _____(oo)
             |==/====|==\=\=========|=|===========================\\/
             | *     |    \_\_      | |                   / |     ||
       _______O)-----^---------------\O)_________________*__||----||_____

                    cow-lliope in the circus parade


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     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 13                   3 Jan 2000


     =================================================================
                     ADVERTISE YOUR FREE SERVICE/EVENT
     =================================================================


                               It's a Web Page
                                  Frank Vest
                                 1:124/6308.1

     Hello Readers,

     It's a Web Page, or site, if you will. Not a fancy one, nor one with
     lot's of banners and ads. The page has links. Lot's of links! In
     fact, almost the whole site is links. There are links to Fidonet
     pages all over the world. Links to sites with information on Fidonet
     and not just english or American.

                  Why did I put the site up on the Internet?

     Simple, I love Fidonet. I had to get Internet access for my children
     because the schools here are always asking the children to "search
     the Internet" for their school work. Since the ISP I go through
     gives 5 megs of Web space, I decided to put up a page. What kind of
     page? Of course, it has to be Fidonet! :)  When I first started
     creating the page, I thought one page would do. It would be for my
     BBS and that would be it. Whew! Was I wrong!! As time went on, this
     site grew. I think there are some 5 or more pages here now. Probably
     over 100 links to other Fidonet and BBS sites.

                       Ok, so what will you find here?

     As above, links! You'll find links to Zones, Regions, Nets and
     Nodes. Informational pages and even be able to read Policy 4 online.
     You can grab a copy of the Nodelist or surf to "Other Strange and
     Wonderful Places". If you look hard enough, you'll find a page about
     me and my family. :)

                          So, why am I writing this?

     I want more links! I want more people to visit! I want to promote
     Fidonet! If you have a page that is related to Fidonet, BBS's or
     other "Fido" type Nets, let me know. Visit the page and E-Mail me
     about the page. I'll look it over and if it fits, I'll put a link on
     the site. If you like my site, please put a link to it on you page.

                           Oh yeah! The address :-)

                            http://texoma.net/~flv

     You'll see a spinning world when the page comes up. Click on it and
     you're there. Look the site over. You might be surprised at what
     you'll find. :)

     With kind regards,

      Frank - flv@texoma.net
     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 14                   3 Jan 2000


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     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 15                   3 Jan 2000


     =================================================================
                           FIDONEWS INFORMATION
     =================================================================

                                   Masthead

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     | Editor:     Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, DougM@paonline.com       |
     | Webmaster:  Jim Barchuk, jb@fidonews.org                       |
     | Columnist:  Joe Jared, 1:103/0, jarhead@osirusoft.com          |
     |             (Fido Via Internet Hubs column)                    |
     | Columnist:  Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, wdbonner@pacbell.net  |
     |             (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB")                |
     | Humor:      Roy Reed, rcreed@juno.com                          |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -  EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     |       Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince         |
     |       Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees,       |
     |       Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink          |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     "Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered
     trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA
     94141, and are used with permission.

     Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet.
     Fidonews is Copyright (C) 1999 by Douglas Myers, though authors
     retain rights to their contributed articles.  Opinion expressed by
     the authors is strictly their own.  Noncommercial duplication and
     distribution within Fidonet is encouraged.  Authors are encouraged
     to send their articles in ASCII text to Douglas Myers at one of his
     addresses above.

     The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area
     FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS.  These
     sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator.
     The current and past issues are also available from the following
     sources:

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -  FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     |         Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:270/720, 1:140/1, or 1:396/1         |
     |         ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/                     |
     |         ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/                 |
     |         http://www.fidonews.org                                |
     |         email subscription: majordomo@fidonews.org             |
     |                       (subject: help   body: list)             |
     |         ftp mail: ftpmail@fidonews.org (subject: help)         |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     FIDONEWS 17-01               Page 16                   3 Jan 2000


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