      F I D O N E W S         Volume 16, Number 50             13 Dec 1999 
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     |  The newsletter of the     |   ISSN 1198-4589 Published by:        |
     |    FidoNet community       |   "FidoNews"                          |
     |          _                 |   1-717-732-6820     1:270/720        |
     |         /  \               |                                       |
     |        /|oo \              |                                       |
     |       (_|  /_)             |                                       |
     |        _`@/_ \    _        |                                       |
     |       |     | \   \\       |   Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720    |
     |       | (*) |  \   ))      |           DougM@paonline.com          |
     |       |__U__| /  \//       |                                       |
     |        _//|| _\   /        |                                       |
     |       (_/(_|(____/         |                                       |
     |             (jm)           |   Newspapers should have no friends.  |
     |                            |                    -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     
     
                               __________ (___)
                              /|         `(0 0)
                             / |           \ /
                            *  |||----|||-/ *
                               |||    |||
     
                          Rudolph the Red-Nosed Cow
     


                        Table of Contents
     1. EDITORIAL  ................................................  1
        Reading the 'bones  .......................................  1
     2. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR  ....................................  2
        Memo from Santa Claus  ....................................  2
     3. ARTICLES  .................................................  4
        Shenkenberger is R13C by acclamation!  ....................  4
     4. COLUMNS  ..................................................  5
        Ol'WDB:  Barbeque 101  ....................................  5
        Fidonet-related sites  ....................................  6
     5. NET HUMOR  ................................................ 11
        Engineers and Lawyers  .................................... 11
     6. COMIX IN ASCII  ........................................... 12
        Christmas Cowols  ......................................... 12
     7. FIDONEWS INFORMATION  ..................................... 13
        Masthead  ................................................. 13
     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 1                   13 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                                 EDITORIAL
     =================================================================


                              Reading the 'bones
                                  Doug Myers

     What's happening on the backbones after George Peace announced that
     he'll be shutting down?  I'm getting mixed signals, myself.  On one
     hand, Butch Walker announces that Brenda Donovan will serve as Zhub
     for the NAB after George shuts down... on the other hand he
     announced his own resignation effective December 15th. On the one
     hand, Brenda is sure to inspire confidence in her new position, but
     on the other hand this editor wonders why Bob Seaborn would only
     reveal "It's already handled." when the Zone 1 Backbone inquired.

     What's it going to be for the new Millennium?  Are the 'bones going
     to settle down to the business of moving mail, or are we going to
     see more of the pointless bickering punctuated by power plays?  This
     editor finds prognostication very difficult... especially now that
     the future is getting involved.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 2                   13 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                           LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
     =================================================================

      Memo from Santa Claus:

      I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no
      longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve.
      Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my
      contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local
      209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois,
      Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract, I
      also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that in mind.

      However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with
      your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba
      Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my
      goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however,
      there are a few differences between us. Differences such as:

      1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
      Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that
      reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

      2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children
      leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace.
      And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so
      please have a empty spit can handy.

      3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
      instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of
      my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's
      fireplace.

      4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..."
      when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on
      Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and
      Petty."

      5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are
      likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

      6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does
      have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words
      "Back Off." The last I heard it also had other decorations on the
      sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that
      race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa
      Claus) going wee wee on the Tooth Fairy.

      7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th
      Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your
      negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves
      Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds
      as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each
      other.

     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 3                   13 Dec 1999


      8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you,I'd make sure
      you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over
      to put presents under the tree.

      And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about me like
      "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus Is
      Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played
      on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will
      be Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox"; Cledus T. Judd's
      "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack", and Hank
      Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It."


      Sincerely Yours,


      Santa Claus (member, North American Fairies and Elves Local 209)

     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 4                   13 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                                 ARTICLES
     =================================================================


                        Region 13 Coordinator Election
                   Carol Shenkenberger wins by Acclamation!
                                by Doug Myers

     As of Sunday night, December 12th, the nomination period for
     candidates for Region 13 Coordinator are still open, so the above
     headline is premature and unofficial.  However, my nomination of
     Carol Shenkenberger appears to be the only one received by David
     Calafrancesco, the Election Coordinator, and it appears that Carol
     will be unopposed as candidate for the Coordinator office.

     Unless there is a last-minute nomination and acceptance before
     midnight, David will then send Carol's name to David Moufarrege as
     the region's choice for Coordinator.  David has pledged to appoint
     the regional choice as Z1C.

     Carol is presently acting as interim RC, appointed by David
     Moufarrege when he vacated the post to serve as the newly elected
     Zone 1 Coordinator.  Carol has served as interim Coordinator with
     distinction, acting to find and restore many "lost nodes" and
     restore regional echomail links.

     It's conceivable that an unopposed election would be viewed with
     suspicion by the members of Fidonet, but in Region 13 it's more
     indicative of a region which is already working together and
     already made its choice.  Carol is already viewed as an able and fit
     successor to David Moufarrege by those normally active in regional
     affairs.  Further, a last minute nomination is unlikely as those who
     were likely to show interest in the Coordinator's position are
     already occupied.  David Moufarrege, of course, has moved on to the
     Zone 1 Coordinator position, appointing Jim Balcom as ZEC (Jim would
     have been considered a leading contender for RC).  David
     Calafrancesco, though popular in the region, presently serving as
     REC, and a formidable candidate had he chosen to run, eliminated
     himself by accepting the Election Coordinator duties.  Doug Myers,
     defeated by David Moufarrege in the Z1C election, has since accepted
     the position of Fidonews Editor and choose to back Carol rather than
     run himself.

     So, at the risk of jumping th gun a little bit, I'd like to
     congratulate Region 13 on its choice for RC, and congratulate Carol
     on her victory.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 5                   13 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                                  COLUMNS
     =================================================================

                                  BBQ - 101:
                           LIGHTING CHARCOAL GRILLS
                                      or
                   WHY R10 FIDONET ENGINEERS ARE FAR OUT...
                                  by  Ol'WDB

     Our subject today is lighting charcoal grills. Two of our favorite
     charcoal grill lighters are named Mark Luetger, and Joe Jared,
     (really!!), a couple of computer programmers in the Fidonet 1:103
     engineering department.

     Each year, Mark and Joe hold a picnic in Mile Square Park, Fountain
     Valley, Ca. for Region 10 SoCal Fidonet engineers. There they cook
     hamburgers and hotdogs on a big grill, for the Region 10 Fidonet
     engineers and their friends and families.

     Being engineers, they began looking for practical ways to speed up
     the charcoal-lighting process as the newspaper + match had failed to
     do the expected job in a reasonable time.  Mark and Joe put their
     heads to the task of speeding up the process of infighting the
     charcoal...

     "We started by blowing the charcoal with a hair dryer," Mark told me
     about last years picnic.  He said,"Joe borrowed his mates five speed
     Sassoon cordless hair blower".  He continued, "Then we figured out
     that it would light charcoal faster if we used a vacuum cleaner with
     the hose in the air exhaust port."

     If you know anything about (1) engineers and (2) Computer nerds in
     general, who have their head in a computer or software for it,  you
     already know what is going to happened: A couple of beers later the
     purpose of the charcoal-lighting shifted from cooking hamburgers to
     seeing how fast they could light the charcoal.

     From the vacuum cleaner, they escalated to using a propane torch,
     then an acetylene torch. Then Mark and Joe started using compressed
     pure oxygen, which caused the charcoal to burn much faster, because
     as you recall from chemistry class, fire is essentially the rapid
     combination of oxygen with a reducing agent (the charcoal).

     We discovered that a long time ago, somewhere in the valley between
     the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, in Fidonet's infancy, (or somewhere
     along those lines).  I think it was way back when George Peace was
     the Fido IC. The Egyptian pyramids were still one of the eight
     wonders of the world.

     By this point, Mark and Joe were having a pretty good time. But in
     the world of competitive charcoal-lighting, "pretty good" does not
     cut the mustard.  Thus, Mark and Joe hit upon the idea of using -
     get ready for this *** Liquid Oxygen ***!

     This is the form of oxygen used in rocket engines; it's 295 degrees
     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 6                   13 Dec 1999


     below zero and 600 times as dense as regular oxygen. In terms of
     releasing energy, pouring liquid oxygen on charcoal is the
     equivalent of throwing a live hand grenade into a 50 gallon vat of
     150 proof White Lightening.

     What followed was the most impressive charcoal-lighting I have ever
     seen, featuring a large fireball that, according to Joe, reached
     10,000 degrees Fahrenheit. The charcoal was ready for cooking in, *
     this has to be a world record *, 3 seconds.

     Will the 3-second barrier ever be broken?  Will engineers come up
     with a new, more powerful charcoal-lighting technology?  It's
     something for all of us to ponder NEXT summer as we plan the R10
     SoCal picnic!

     Basically, the grill vaporized," said Mark. "We were thinking of
     using Ol'WDB's Gas BBQ next year... it has wheels and we may get it
     up to speed in as little as 3 - 4 minutes with automatic lighter,
     and water sprayer to cool the fast ignition of the meats".


     -----------------------------------------------------------------


     ! = New entries this week
     ? = not responding
     ?? = unknown content, doesn't look like fidonet

                       . -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- .
                       |    FIDONET-RELATED SITES    |
                       ` -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- '
                          Last update:  Dec 11, 1999

     FidoNet
     Homepage:     http://www.fidonet.org
     FidoNews:     http://www.fidonews.org   [HTML]
                   ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/
                   ftp://sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/
     SDS Files:    http://fidobbs.dk/download (Web Access to SDS)
     FTSC page:    http://www.ftsc.org/
     General:      http://owls.com/~jerrys/fidonet.html
     List server:  http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/fidonet-discussion

     Zone 1:       http://www.z1.fidonet.org
       Region 10:  http://www.psnw.com/~net205/region10.html
                   http://www.tnl-online.com/andy/rgn10.htm
         Net 103:  http://www.webworldinc.com/club103/
     !   Net 203:  http://www.geocities.com/Area51/8687/net203index.html
       Region 11:  http://oeonline.com/~garyg/region11/
        Net 2410:  http://oeonline.com/~garyg/net2410/
       Region 13:  http://www.net264.org/r13.htm
         Net 264:  http://www.net264.org/
       Region 14:
         Net 282:  http://www.rxn.com/~net282/
       Region 17:  http://www.nwstar.com/~region17/
       Region 18:  http://techshop.pdn.net/fido/
     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 7                   13 Dec 1999


       Region 19:  http://members.home.net/hbh3/r19
         Net 124:  http://www.startext.net/np/net124
                   http://texoma.net/~flv
         Net 130:  http://www.startext.net/homes/net130
         Net 393:  http://www.chatter.com/~wb/
     Zone 1 Elist  http://members.xoom.com/echolist/

     Zone 2:       http://www.z2.fidonet.org
     !              ftp://sstar/fidonet/zone2 (Zone 2 nodelists etc.)
       Region 20:  http://www.fidonet.pp.se (in Swedish)
       Region 23:  http://www.fido.dk (in Danish)

       Region 24:  http://www.swb.de/personal/flop/gatebau.html (German)
         Fido-IP:  http://home.nrh.de/fido/ (English/German)
       Region 25:  http://www.literary.freeserve.co.uk/net2502/
       Region 26:  http://www.nemesis.ie
          REC 26:  http://www.nrgsys.com/orb
       Region 27:  http://telematique.org/ft/r27.htm
       Region 29:  http://www.rtfm.be/fidonet/  (French)
       Region 30:  http://www.fidonet.ch  (German)
     ? Region 33:  http://www.fidoitalia.net  (Italian)
       Region 34:  http://www.pobox.com/cnb/r34.htm  (Spanish)
           REC34:  http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/4552/
       Region 36:  http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/7207/
       Region 38:  http://public.st.carnet.hr/~blagi/bbs/adriam.html
       Region 41:  http://www.fidonet.gr (Greek/English)
       Region 42:  http://www.fido.cz
       Region 50:  http://www.fido7.com/  (Russian)
        Net 5010:  http://fido.tu-chel.ac.ru/  (Russian)
        Net 5015:  http://www.fido.nnov.ru/  (Russian)
        Net 5030:  http://kenga.ru/fido/  (Russian & English)
        Net 5049:  http://www.n5049.z2.fidonet.org  (English/Russian)
     ??  Net 5085:  http://www.fidonet.uz/ (Russian)

     Zone 3:       http://www.z3.fidonet.org

     Zone 4:
       Region 80:  http://fidobrasil.8m.com  (Portuguese)
       Region 90:
         Net 904:  http://members.tripod.com/~net904 (Spanish)

     Zone 5:       http://www.eastcape.co.za/fidonet/

     Zone 6:       http://www.z6.fidonet.org
       Region 65:  http://www.cfido.com/fidonet/cfidochina.html
                   (Chinese)


                          Fidonet Via Internet Hubs

     a @ preceding an individual's name implies a virtual email address.
     The email is translated as follows firstlast@osirusoft.com will
     automatically route to the appropriate individual's email.  Anyone
     in this list will also receive routed notice of this feature.  In my
     case, it would still be joejared@osirusoft.com, but you get the
     idea.
     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 8                   13 Dec 1999


     Also, as information is provided to me, I will be adding a latency
     field to each node, which is defined as the maximum time between
     when the message is received, and when it is sent on to other nodes,
     or available to be sent onward, defined in minutes. A latency of !
     implies that there is an immediate response, and an attempt to
     deliver immediately after processing, or a "MinuteMail System", as
     it were.

                v-email flag firstnamelastname@osirusoft.com
                | email address or
     Node#      | Operator          | Facilities (*) | Speed,| Basic Rate
                |                   |                |latency|
     -----------+-------------------+----------------+-------+------------
     Zone 1     |                   |                |       |
       10/3     @ Brenda Donovan    | FTP,UUE,BinkP  | T1?,30| $??/$10
       10/345   @ Todd Cochrane     | FTP            | T1,!  | n/c
       12/12    | Ken Wilson        | FTP            | T1    | $24mo.
       13/25    @ Jim Balcom        | FTP            | 56k   | $20mo.
      103/5     @ Mark Luetger      | BinkP          | 384k,!| n/c
      103/153   @ Michael Box       | BinkP          | aDSL  | n/c
      103/301   @ Joe Jared         | BinkP,FTP      | aDSL,!| n/c
      105/8     | Russ Johnson      | FTP,BinkP,VMoT | 384k  | n/c
      105/72    @ Larry James       | FTP            | aDSL  | $5/$15 mo.
      106/1     @ Matt Bedynek      | BinkP, FTP     | DS-3,5| $5/$15 mo
      106/6018  | Lawrence Garvin   | FTP, VMoT      | aDSL  | n/c,60
      107/453   @ Jeffrey Estevez| FTP,BinkP,VMoT,UUE| 56k,60| $10 mo.
      140/1     @ Bob Seaborn       | FTP            | T3,30 | $5/$16
      167/133   | Stephen Monteith  | BinkP          | 128k+ | n/c
      211/417   @ Korombos          | BinkD,UUE,FTP  | T1    | n/c
      246/160   @ Mason Vye         | FTP, UUE       | 56K   | n/c
      271/140   @ Tom Barstow       | UUE,FTP        | T1    | n/c
      280/169   | Brian Greenstreet | FTP            | 33.6  | $2mo.
      342/3     | Richard Dodsworth | BinkP,FTP      | 128K+ | n/c
      396/1     @ John Souvestre    | FTP,VMoT       | T1    | $10/mo
      396/45    | Marc Lewis        | UUE            | 33.6  | $26/yr
     2401/305   | Peter Rocca       | FTP,UUE        | T1    | unkn
     2424/101   | Kari Suomela   | FTP,VMoT,BinkP,UUE| T1,!  | $25.00/mo
     2604/104   | Jim Mclaughlin    | FTP,VMoT,UUE   | 33.6  | $1mo
     3613/2     @ jyates@bsdi.ldl.net | UUE            | 28.8  | n/c
     2613/404   @ David Moufarrege  | BinkP,FTP,VMoT | 128k+,!| n/c
     2624/306   @ D. Calafrancesco  | VMoT           | 33.6  | n/c
     3632/84    | Robert Todd    |FTP,VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 57.6k | n/c
     3639/93    @ Ross Cassell      | FTP, BinkP     |128K+,!| n/c
     3651/9     | Jerry Gause       | FTP,VMoT       | 33.6  | $3/$6
     3803/1     @ Ben Ritchey       | UUE            | 56k   | n/c
     --------------------------------------------------------------
     Zone 2     |
       20/11    | Henrik Lindhe     | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
       31/1     | Gabriel Plutzar   | BinkP          | T1+   | n/c
      203/600   | Mikael Karlsson   | UUE            | 64k   | n/c
      221/360   @ Tommi Koivula     | BinkP,UUE      | ???   | n/c
      236/205   @ Michael Kaaber    | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      246/2098  | Volker Imre       | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      284/800   | Jeroen VanDeLeur  | FTP,UUE        | 64k   | n/c
      292/626   | Filip Ruymen      | Binkp, UUE     | 128K+ | n/c
      292/2003  | Eric Vaneberck    | BinkP          | 768k  | n/c
     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 9                   13 Dec 1999


      301/1     | Peter Witschi     | BinkP          | 768k   | n/c
      332/807   | Roberto Mascolo   | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      335/535   @ Mario Mure        | BinkP,VMot,UUE | 64k   | n/c
      335/610   | Gino Lucrezi      | UUE            | 33.6  | n/c
      344/201   | Julio Garcia      | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      346/3     @ Carlos Navarro    | UUE            | ???   | n/c
      382/100   | Sinisa Burina     | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      406/555   | Marius Kaizerman  | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      406/555   | Ofir Michaeli &   | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      423/81    | Milos Bajer       | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      464/4077  | Serguei Trouchelle| UUE            | 19.2  | n/c
      465/204   | Va Milushnikov    | BinkP          | 33.6k | n/c
      469/84    | Max Masyutin      | VMoT           | 256k  | n/c
      480/112   | Adam Sarapata| FTP, VMoT, UUE,BinkP| 128k  | n/c
     2411/413   @ Dennis Dittrich   | UUE,BinkP      | 64k   | n/c
     2446/301   | Lothar Behet | BinkP,VMoT,UUE,FTP  | 64K   | n/c
     2474/275   | Christian Emig    | UUE            | 64k   | unkn
     5030/115   | Andrey Podkolzin  | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
     5100/8     | Egons Bush        | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
     5020/1159  | Gennady Kudryashoff | UUE          | 33.6  | n/c
     --------------------------------------------------------------
     Zone 3
      633/260   @ Malcolm Miles     | FTP,BinkP      | 64K   | n/c
      640/954   | Rick Van Ruth     | FTP,VMot,UUE,BinkP| 56K| n/c
      774/605   @ Barry Blackford|BinkP,VMoT:10023,ifcico,FTP |33.6| n/c

     --------------------------------------------------------------
     Zone 4
      905/100   | Fabian Gervan     | VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 128k  | n/c
      902/18    | Javier Tejedor    | UUE            | 33,6  | n/c

     --
     * FTP   = Internet File Transfer Protocol
     * VMoT  = Virtual Mailer over Telnet (various)
     * UUE   = uuencode<->email type transfers
     * BinkP = front end mailer for TCPIP networks

     ----------------------------------------------
     Fidonet oriented news servers

     news.osirusoft.com
     news.tardis.net

     Fidonet oriented chat rooms.

     room #fidonet  5PM (PDT 11AM GMT) Sundays
     irc.isonline.com
     irc.killaz-r-us.com
     irc.korombos.org


     ----------------------------------------------

     Please send updates, corrections and suggestions to
     Joe Jared, 1:103/301, joejared@osirusoft.com, and
     complaints to jarhead@osirusoft.com .
     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 10                  13 Dec 1999


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 11                  13 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                                 NET HUMOR
     =================================================================

                            Engineers and Lawyers
                              Thanks to Roy Reed


            Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a
            conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy
            tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single
            ticket.

            "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?"
            asked one of the three lawyers.

            "Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers.

            They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective
            seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close
            the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed,
            the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on
            the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens
            just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
            The conductor takes it and moves on.

            The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
            So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the
            engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they
            get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return
            trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket
            at all.

            "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one
            perplexed lawyer.

            "Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers.

            When they board the train, the three lawyers cram into a
            restroom and the three engineers cram into another one
            nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the
            engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom
            where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says,
            "Ticket, please."


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 12                  13 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                              COMIX IN ASCII
     =================================================================


                                          _ - ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ - _
                                        /          |~      |~     \
                                       |      |~  o|   |~ o|      |
                                     /  \    o|       o|         /
                                   /      \                    /
                                  /        / ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
                                 /        /          .
                             /*     *\   /         ./\.
                            /\       /\           .//.\.
                           ****     ****         .///\\\.
                           (oo)     (oo)         ////\\\\.
                    /-------\/       \/-------\     ||
                   /|      ||         ||      |\    ~~
                  *  ||----||         ||----||  *
                     ~~    ~~         ~~    ~~
                          Christmas Cowols


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 13                  13 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                           FIDONEWS INFORMATION
     =================================================================

                                   Masthead

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     | Editor:     Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, DougM@paonline.com       |
     | Webmaster:  Jim Barchuk, jb@fidonews.org                       |
     | Columnist:  Joe Jared, 1:103/0, jarhead@osirusoft.com          |
     |             (Fido Via Internet Hubs column)                    |
     | Columnist:  Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, wdbonner@pacbell.net  |
     |             (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB")                |
     | Humor:      Roy Reed, rcreed@juno.com                          |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -  EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     |       Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince         |
     |       Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees,       |
     |       Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink          |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     "Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered
     trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA
     94141, and are used with permission.

     Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet.
     Fidonews is Copyright (C) 1999 by Douglas Myers, though authors
     retain rights to their contributed articles.  Opinion expressed by
     the authors is strictly their own.  Noncommercial duplication and
     distribution within Fidonet is encouraged.  Authors are encouraged
     to send their articles in ASCII text to Douglas Myers at one of his
     addresses above.

     The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area
     FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS.  These
     sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator.
     The current and past issues are also available from the following
     sources:

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -  FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- +
     |                                                                |
     |         Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:270/720, 1:140/1, or 1:396/1         |
     |         ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/                     |
     |         ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/                 |
     |         http://www.fidonews.org                                |
     |         email subscription: majordomo@fidonews.org             |
     |                       (subject: help   body: list)             |
     |         ftp mail: ftpmail@fidonews.org (subject: help)         |
     |                                                                |
     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +

     FIDONEWS 16-50               Page 14                  13 Dec 1999


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