   How to Piss off People in Cars !!



        WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, YOU MAY H
AVE DONE A NEAT TRICK CALLED THE 
ALASKAN ROPE TRICK. IF YOU HAVEN'T HEAR
D OF IT THE PROCEDURE IS SIMPLE, 
REQUIRING ONLY FOUR OR MORE PEOPLE. ON 
A ROADSIDE WITHOUT STREETLIGHTS AT 
NIGHT, DIVIDE THE PEOPLE UP EVENLY INTO
 TWO GROUPS- ONE GOES TO THE OTHER 
SIDE OF THE STREET ACROSS FROM THE FIRS
T GROUP AND BOTH GROUPS GET IN SINGLE
FILE LINE. A LONG BRANCH IS NECESSARY T
O GET THE FULL POTENTIAL OUT OF THIS
TRICK, BECAUSE THE BRANCH SERVES AS A L
EAD TO A FALSE ROPE THAT IS SUPPOSEDLY
EXTENDED ACROSS THE ROAD. WHEN A CAR CO
MES IN SIGHT, BOTH GROUPS BEND DOWN 
AS TO BE PICKING THE "ROPE" UP. ON A CO
UNT OF THREE, BOTH GROUPS PULL ON 
THEIR BRANCH, AND THE CAR WILL SOMETIME
S GET FREAKED OUT AND HIT THE BRAKES.
COURAGE IS NECESSARY HERE, FOR THE NOW 
ANGERED PARTY WILL JUMP OUT OF THE CAR
AND SHOUT OBSCENITIES. YOU HAVE TWO CHO
ICES: ONE, YOU CAN RUN LIKE A BAT OUT 
OF HELL. TWO, YOU CAN STICK IT OUT AND 
HEAR IT ALL. MY PREFERENCE IS CHOICE
#1 BECAUSE IF ANYONE IS GOING TO GET OU
T OF THE CAR THEY ARE USUALLY A GROUP 
OF HUGE BADASSES THAT ARE LOOKING FOR A
 FEW TO KICK. SO WHY DO IT IF IT'S
DANGEROUS? WELL, THE THRILL OF BEING CH
ASED HAS FASCINATED MANY, ESPECIALLY
THOSE WHO ARE IN THE MOOD FOR TROUBLE. 
TRY IT SOMETIME!
        FOR THOSE WHO HAVE DONE THIS AL
READY AND KNOW WHAT THE ALASKAN IS, I

TO THE ALASKAN, EXCEPT YOU REALLY HAVE 
A ROPE ACROSS. THE CATCH IS, THE ROPE 
IS ATTACHED TO TWO GARBAGE CANS AT EITH
ER SIDE OF THE ROPE, AND ARE VERY MUCH
MOBILE. WHEN A CAR COMES BY, ESPECIALLY
 ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE ALASKAN AND 
KNOWS ITS A FAKE, IT WILL HIT THE ROPE,
 SENDING BOTH CANS SPRAWLING AT THE 
DOORS, POSSIBLY DAMAGING THE CAR AND AN
GERING THE DRIVER SEVERELY.
        THIS SAME TRICK WORKS GREAT WIT
H SHOPPING CARTS, I HAVE DONE THIS AT 
A CONVENIENT SHOPPING CENTER WITH A BAC
K THRU STREET BEHIND IT OFTEN USED
ON SATURDAY NIGHTS. THE CARTS ARE ALIGN
ED IN SUCH A WAY SO AS TO ROLL AND
SMACK THEMSELVES INTO THE CAR. NOW, YOU
'RE SAYING THAT NO CAR IN THE RIGHT 
MIND WOULD TRY TO RUN THROUGH THE ROPE.
 SOMETIMES, YES, BUT THE OTHER TIMES, 
THEY STILL HAVE TO STOP, DONT THEY? A C
ONVENIENT HILL ABOVE THIS THRU STREET
MAKES FOR THE PERFECT LOOKOUT. ONLY NOW
 THE LOOKOUT BECOMES A BATTLEMENT. 
SEVERAL CRABAPPLE TREES LIE IN THE VICI
NITY, AND ACCOUNT FOR NUMEROUS ATTACKS
ON DRIVERS GETTING OUT OF THEIR CARS TO
 MOVE THE CARTS (OR GARBAGE CANS, 
WHICHEVER). IF YOU HIT THE CARS, OR DRI
VERS, BE READY FOR AN EXCITING CHASE.
NOW, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY H
IT A COP CAR? EASY. PREVENT THIS BY
KEEPING A LOOKOUT FOR THE HEADLIGHTS. C
OP CARS USUALLY HAVE DOUBLE HEADLIGHTS
SO BE EXTRA CAREFUL IN DECIDING WHO TO 
ATTACK. A GOOD IDEA IS TO HAVE SOME
FORM OF COVER IN CASE YOU ARE CHASED (T
HE HILL ABOVE THE THRU STREET HAS A
FENCE RUNNING ALONG IT, PROVIDING SUFFI
CIENT COVER TO HIDE UNTIL THE GUY 
GETS OUT OF HIS CAR).
        WELL, THAT ABOUT WRAPS IT UP FO
R NOW, IF YOU CAN THINK OF SOME MORE
NASTY THINGS TO PULL ON CARS, WRITE A
FILE!!!   DO IT!!

                  **********************************************
                  *          OTHER NEET THINGS TO CARS         *
                  *      By,                                   *
                  *         Cpt Harlock                        *
                  *   For the phringe Philes sections          *
                  *             965-3677                       *
                  *                                            *
                  **********************************************



[1].  Take some brake fluid and a baster(a thing that sucks up juce)
      that you dont want any more and you fill it up with brade fluid
      you go up to your favorite cay and you write FUCK YOU all over it
      and the next day your friend goes to get into the car he eill notice
      that the paint will all be bubbled up and there is nothing he can do
      because the brake fluid sokes into the pores of the metel and if he
      tryes to paint over it it will still bubble up. the onely things that
      he could do is get a asid treatment to the metel or replace the part.

[2].  Take a nice big hand full of vasiline and smear a little on the
      windsheild and spread it to all the other windows on the car
      the next morning he will see a pile of shit on the windows an the
      first thing he will do is try to wipe it off. BIG MASTAKE !!!!!!
      [  he will smear it even more and vasiline is practically impossible
         to get off curved glass  ].

