THE SUCKTINUUM (Posted 2004-04-26 16:01:25 by basscomm) Here's how the Sucktinuum works: You start at the Zero point on the scale and measure the amount of Suck or Awesome is in whatever you happen to be measuring. You then travel along the Suck Track (ST) in the proper amount of Suck Units (SU) until you arrive at the Final Suck Rating (FSR). It's that simple! Yes, I _have_ prepared some examples. Image: Tetris Attack is such a good game. [ /images/suckscale/realgoodscale.jpg ] Here is a scale for one of my all time favorite games, Tetris Attack. Clearly this game has more Awesome than Suck. Image: Waffle is one of the worst games I own. [ /images/suckscale/realbadscale.jpg ] Here's the scale for one of the worst games ever created, Zoop. Zoop is such an abomination that I don't even want to call it a game any more. From now on, I'm going rename Zoop to Waffle. [ see image at /images/suckscale/sobadgood.jpg ] Here's the scale for Karnov, a game so bad that it actually crossed the Suckawesome Traversal (SaT) and actually became good. Absolutely nothing about the game makes sense, but somehow people like it. It's tough to make a game with that special brand of Suck so that it becomes an underground classic, but Data East found a way. [ see image at /images/suckscale/sogoodbad.jpg ] Here's the scale for a game that was so good that it crossed the Suckawesome Traversal (SaT) the other way and became bad. It's probably even more difficult (and rare) to find a game that is so good that it becomes hated. The best example I can think of is Counter Strike. I'm sure that the people that are still playing it think that it's a good game, but I've washed my hands of that opinion a long time ago and I'm sure that many of you have done the same. Now I don't want to give the impression that the Sucktinuum is solely intended for games. The beauty of it is that you can use it to rate just about anything. Go ahead and use it to evaluate whatever you can come up with. I'd be very interested in seeing what kinds of results you get. -------- There are 6 comments on this post: Comment #1 by [EV3] Funkapotamus ( funkapotamus4@hotmail.com ) on 2004-04-27 14:46:53 Great idea...has anything ever come full circle on the Sucktinuum? I'm not thinking about fads like the McRib, but rather something that-in a rather short amount of time-has circumnavigated the Sucktinuum. Like the TV series Knight Rider. Now there was a show with Serious Suck Potential (SSP). "Let's give David Hasselhoff a Batmobile...that talks to him...and let's have that voice be done by...William Daniels(Mr. Feeny). THAT IS NOT A COOL CAR VOICE! But somehow, Knight Rider was able to cross the SaT and win its way into our hearts for years to come -- and everybody wanted those cool rear-window blinder things put on their cars, those were pretty snazzy. That's just my example, I know there wasn't much explanation as to how the SaT got crossed, or why. Perhaps those questions are best left unanswered. Comment #2 by tss ( tss@seriousfix.com ) on 2004-04-27 16:25:00 dude, this i love this. i am currently calculating the sucktocity between work and non-work. so far, i ran into one problem. if i line them up they totally suck but end up in the green all the time when i play serious sam, drink rum or go out with friends. doesn't matter what. the 9 hours of work multiplied by x ammount of game time/social time always throws me into the green. but if i calculate work suck velocity, i get red and green. sometimes it must blow and sometimes it does such a good time blowing i have to smile and toss it a 20$. i think something must be wrong in my suckulations. i must try and try until i discover that which you have shared with us. Comment #3 by Zher0 ( zher0@netcarrier.com ) on 2004-04-27 16:31:32 That last comment read like a North Korean train wreck. Comment #4 by tss ( tss@seriousfix.com ) on 2004-04-27 16:35:00 the previous comment doesn't deserve to be commented about. it was not sucktacular. it was written by a person with such suckitude that is will only suck. alas, this is the end of my comment. for i realize that i has begun to sucketh with the gusto of a hungry baby ripping into a full set of jugs. tss out. Comment #5 by Games so bad they’re good « Exposing my socks to the world ( ) on 2011-06-05 09:05:06 [...] while back I explored the phenomenon that some games are like some movies, and are so bad that they become good. Clive Thompson, perhaps reading my article, has recently explored this idea in his column, though [...] Comment #6 by Never trust a gamer who doesn’t own any bad games « Exposing my socks to the world ( ) on 2012-08-05 20:36:31 [...] and then talk about it at length. Sometimes that's because the game I played was so bad it crossed over into awesome, but that's not always the case. A lot of times, the game is just bad. And, yet, I keep most [...] To submit a comment on this post, email basscomm@crummysocks.com or visit us on the web [ http://crummysocks.com ].