"How did you make out in that fight with your wife?"
"Just fine, she came crawling to me on her hands and knees, and said
   come out from under that bed, you coward."
@
If you're losing a little on the top, cheer up.
You're probably gaining it back in the middle.
@
A bachelor is a man who goes to a drive-in movie on a motorcycle.
@
Just because there is no snow on the roof does not mean that there
   is no fire in the furnace.
@
The average woman soon discovers that her ideal man isn't real,
   and her real man isn't ideal.
@
When men get to old to set bad examples, they sit around dishing
   out good advice.
@
A bachelor is a man with an un-altar-able view.
@
Men with good growth on their heads don't necessarily have
   well-fertilized minds.
@
Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.
@
"Who gave you that black eye?"
"My wife."
"I thought she was out of town."
"So did I."
@
Before he was married, he had three theories on children ---
   now he has three children and no more theories.
@
A bachelor is a man that comes to work from a different direction
   every morning.
@
The modern man is a person who drives a mortgaged car on a
   bond-financed highway with gas purchased on a credit card.
@
The young are getting taller, the tops of their heads keep
   pushing through their hair.
@
She's my type --- a woman!
@
A bachelor is a man who has not made the same mistake once.
@
Arsonists are not the only guys who get in trouble when playing
   around with fire.
@
You don't need to lead man into temptation, he can usually 
   find it on his own.
@
A bachelor is a man who does not believe in feathering his own nest.
@
One thing you can say for baldness is that it is neat.
@
