91
  "A battle of wits," inquired the dragon.  "To whose death, Sir knight?"
  "A whole skin is worth a thousand victories."  Brassclaw Orcs
  "And the mage draws her two handed sword."   "We're in trouble."
  "Ding dong, the Lich is dead."       "Of COURSE it's DEAD!"
  "Fire is never a gentle master."  Brothers of Fire
  "Kobolds are harmless."  Bearand the Bold, Epitath
  "Natural 20!" - Player    "Miss!" - DM   "Uh oh..." - Player
  "Never trust anything you can eat."  - Old dragon proverb
  "The foot stone is connected to the ankle stone..."
  "Throw Axe!  Throw Shield!  Throw DWARF!" - beserk Minotaur
  ---===   Never stand near a sneezing dragon   ===---
  2-handed sword:  (n) A useful tool for alignment problems.
  4 basic food groups for dragons:  Humans, Elves, Dwarves and Hobbits.
  <Fireball>  DIE!!!  >Fizzle<  Um, ahem... please?
  >FOOM!<  Said the dragon.
  A "swift kick in the south-forty" is no way to get a dragon's attention.
  A bard with a 10 charisma.  Not good.
  A D.M.'s Best Twit filter is a large Red Dragon.
  A day without dragons is... MUCH SAFER!
  A Dragon with THAC0 -98?  Um, it's your turn to go first.
  A dragon, holding a canister of Uranium 238?  You go on ahead, knight.
  A fight to the death with a zombie has a few inherent problems.
  A hand phaser is just a wand of etherealness...
  A healthy slap across the nose'll squelch a dragon's hostile tendencies.
  A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.
  A Red Dragon?  I pull out my Wand of Marshmallows.
  A truly good DM uses a good eraser and spells of amnesia.
  According to this table, I have +3 to damage.  Does it kill the dragon?
  AD&D Advice:  "When in doubt, FIREBALL!"
  AD&D Advice:  Always attack a floating eye from BEHIND!
  AD&D Advice:  It exists only if the DM allows it to exist.
  AD&D Advice:  It is unwise to meddle in the affairs of wizards.
  AD&D Advice:  Never turn your back on a monster.
  AD&D Advice:  Never use a lightning bolt in a small room.
  AD&D Comment:  Bards do it for audiences.
  AD&D Definition -  N.P.C. = person of limited destiny
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "+25 to hit, +30 damage?  YOU GO FIRST!"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "A 25th lvl CE mage/cleric? I pinch her butt!"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Am I seeing things or is that a dragon?"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Brak?  That's a stupid name for a barbarian."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "But it's only a LITTLE red dragon..."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "C'mon DM, let's see some REAL monsters!"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Can I have a succubus for a familiar?"
  AD&D Famous last words:  "Dammit, this thing won't die!"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Don't worry, I can handle it."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Dragon HORDE?  I thought y'said Dragon HOARD!"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Dragon?  What dragon?"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Glad it's over with. I'm taking off my armor."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "I bet it's an illusion."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "I didn't think ANYTHING did 40-400 hp damage."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "I disarmed the trap."
  AD&D Famous last Words:  "I think it's dead..."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Magic users are WIMPS!"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Nothing can penetrate this armor."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "NOTHING does 20-200 points of damage!"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Relax.  Nothing ever happens at first level."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "So what good is a ring of Chthulu control?"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "That could never happen here..."
  AD&D Famous last words:  "The DM won't let us die!"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "They're JUST kobolds.  What're you scared of?"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "This dungeon is a pushover."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "This looks like a safe place to camp."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "This should be easy..."
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Those Orcs couldn't hit an elephant at thi-"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "Was I the only one who heard that click?"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "We hire Orcus to be our guide "
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "What pit?"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "What's the worse that town can do?  Lynch us?"
  AD&D Famous Last Words:  "You saw a WHAT around the corner?"
  AD&D Last Words: "Don't worry.  Nothing ever happens at first level."
  AD&D Lesson #001 - It exists only if the DM allows it to exist.
  AD&D Lesson #014 - Never challenge your god to a duel.
  AD&D Lesson #025 - Never use a lightning bolt in a small room.
  AD&D Lesson #029 - Mages don't kill people!  SPELLS kill people!
  AD&D Lesson #126 - Don't play fetch the stick with Cerebus.
  AD&D Lesson #174 - Don't EVER tease a dragon about its mother.
  AD&D Lesson #200 - It is unwise to meddle in the affairs of wizards.
  AD&D Lesson #201 - Never scratch your back with a vorpal sword.
  AD&D Lesson #216 - Never insult an archmage.
  AD&D Lesson #231 - Backstabbing a skeleton doesn't work.
  AD&D Lesson #247 - Never correct a dragon.
  AD&D Lesson #314 - Avoid damage, use your henchmen as ablative armor.
  AD&D Lesson #329 - Never specialize in two inch sticks...
  AD&D Lesson #343 - To avoid damage, use henchmen as ablative armor.
  AD&D Lesson #355 - Wrestling moves do not work on black puddings.
  AD&D Lesson #380 - Never tick off anyone ten times taller than you
  AD&D Lesson #405 - Sometimes the dragon wins.
  AD&D Lesson #428 - Never ask a bard to play the banjo.
  AD&D Lesson #459 - Real men smoke their 50' of hemp rope.
  AD&D Lesson #507 - A bard with a 10 charisma.  Not good.
!EOF!
