Since its inception in 2012, these "Twitpher" text files have been
written using GNU troff. Let's face it, that's overpowered and hard to
write.

I'll switch to writing Markdown. Let's see how that goes.

Markdown has the nice property that it's easy to read for a human being,
even though it might contain markup such as [hyperlinks].

[hyperlinks]: gopher://sdf.org

If it had native support for tables, Markdown would be perfect.