i'm still alive, have an odd feeling about myself and had a few
rainy days here.

been thinking a lot about work these days, and that sets up my
survival mode quick. told my supervisor my intention to leave the
company last week, but he was going on vacation and told me to
think carefully about it, to prioritize myself before anything
else and that he supports my decission, whichever it is. i'm
telling him that i'm leaving the company when he comes back.

he is the kind of nice person for whom i wouldn't mind staying here.
but literally there's only another guy like him, and he is not part of our team.
rest of the team are people who just mind their own benefit and lie more than 
they speak. then there's this guy who takes any oportunity he has
to block my work and ignore my contributions. i'm here to do my 
fuck!ng job dude, not to waste my energy playing amogus with some
toxic zoomer.

apart from all of that i've begun a new therapy to deal with 
childhood trauma and it's helping me a lot with emotional 
blocking.

i think i'm right at the calm before the storm, but i'm also
starting to feel brave again. 

change is coming.